cloudbtw

[cloudbtw]

Cloud let out a playful groan of would-be dread as he saw Dove's expression, and he could only stand there and wait to hear what exactly she would come up with. He felt almost certain that his fate was doomed to be playing horsey and carrying her to each of her classes for the rest of the day, and so he was a bit surprised when she finally voiced her demands and found that they didn't involve telling him to giddy up. "Wait, that's it?" He questioned, before laughing a bit. "Oh, I mean um, 'oh no, how terrible! You sure got me Dove!' Yeah, that's definitely, totally what I meant to say." He added, still chuckling and giving a small shrug of his shoulders. "Hot chocolate it is then. Though I fully expect that in the time between now and when you have a mug in your hands, you will have had the chance to formulate a proper list of demands."

Dove studied him for a second, gently chewing on her bottom lip as if she were considering whether to barter for his life's earnings or his soul. She could ask him to carry her on his back to her next class (she was sick of her crutches), but between her own equipment and his guitar that seemed unreasonable even to her. There was always the opportunity to get him to play a prank on Beau... but she'd need time to think of something good. Eventually she let her grin return to her face and she twirled the piece of plastic expertly between her fingers.

"Well. Since you made me struggle up here, onto a rooftop in the middle of winter, I'm freezing now. You owe me a hot chocolate for the assault and extortion. I'll consider not pressing charges once the exchange has been completed."

[cloudbtw]

Then: "Hold on, hold on. Hey! Shut up for a second!" Cloud said to his bickering bass and lead guitar players as his eyes became fixed on where Charlotte sat behind the keyboard. As the arguing voices stopped, and the only sound was the one she was creating as she pressed her fingers against the keys, Cloud rose from his seat and moved to her side, his own voice joining in her hummed melody. The next moment, the rest of the band were joining in too, adding their own sound to the array. As Cloud met Charlotte's eye, he couldn't help but grin at what he was hearing; it was different from anything Cosmic Attraction had ever done, but it was also a sound that was undeniable.

Now: Cloud had felt the collective apprehension of the crowd when the song first began, and he had anticipated that might be their initial reaction. This wasn't the sound they were used to, the one that had brought them all there to begin with, after all. But he had also felt the shift as the song went on and the majority of them surrendered themselves to the music; he had anticipated that would happen too, because just like he'd thought to himself the day it was written, Cloud still believed that this sound was undeniable. A combination of a rare song that transcended the boundaries of genre and preference that demanded itself to be heard, and an electric chemistry between the individuals performing it that demanded to be seen had led to this song finding its way onto their setlist. Indeed, there was an energy between himself, Charlotte, and the crowd that was entirely different from anything Cloud had ever experienced on stage before, and as the song reached its apex, he found that he couldn't pry his eyes away from her. It was like he was seeing her in an entirely new light, and as he returned her embrace and that same energy that had flowed between them during the song flowed between them in that embrace, he found himself never wanting to break the contact.

closed starter: @cloudbtw sound claim: fill the void

charlotte's fingers graze the keys beneath them, voice filling the air in a quiet hum. she turns toward the band, finding her seat before the keyboard. she tests the notes, knowing only a melody. which she allows her drunken body to sway along to. one hand brings the last of a joint to her lips before she puts it out in the ash tray beside her. eyes flicker to each person in the room, finally landing on cloud as the corners of her lips twitch. she's too far gone in the moment, years of music lessons that she hated, coming to fruition in someone's dusty garage...

her heart pounds against her chest to the rhythm of the bass behind her. voices blend together into a single electric roar as she moves toward cloud on stage, not regretting for a moment getting behind the microphone to sing a song they wrote together. char's body presses up against his, her eyes sweeping the crowd as they scream for them. she can barely make out their voices but it doesn't matter, this is a high she's never known - surging through her like lightening. one hand travels up his arm as she makes her way around him, watching him perform as she does. feeling nothing but the energy of the music as it comes to it's natural conclusion. she can't help herself from throwing her arms around cloud, grin plastered onto her face in amazement and disbelief alike. it was just the distraction she needed. "are you fucking kidding me?"

[cloudbtw]

Her words didn't surprise Cloud in the slightest if he was being entirely honest; he and Arden were too similar for him to find the fact that she also was unable to sleep surprising. He didn't acknowledge this fact though, and instead simply nodded his head and gave a small shrug. He waited for her to pull her jacket on and lock her door before he led the way out of her building and into the cool night air. He silently led the way back towards his own dorm building where his car was parked, and soon enough they were in the vehicle and had driven out past the main gates of the school, leaving the campus in their rearview. Now that he was off campus, Cloud exhaled a small sigh of relief. Everything was far from okay, but getting away from that place made the air around him feel less heavy. "Gonna be honest here: I have no idea where we're going." He admitted with a small shrug of his shoulders. "I didn't really think past the point of 'Oh my God I need to get out of here right now' and 'I'm going to get Arden.' So, got any bright ideas or special requests?"

the clock ticked later and arden still couldn’t sleep. no matter what she did the thoughts of that night came crashing in every time she closed her eyes. she paid no attention to the time illuminated on her clock when a knock echoed through her dorm room — she wasn’t expecting any visitors. the blonde sat up from her bed, her fingertips smoothing her hair back into place before she pulled open the door. “did you sense my distress signal?” arden questioned, her eyes lighting up at the sight of his keys. “my brain won’t shut off.” she continued as she reached for her jacket. “let’s get out of here.”

[cloudbtw]

You must do what's right

(I always do what's right!)

Black and white

(I think I see a different side!)

Tow the line

No, I said, hey!

A link is breaking out of the chain

Hey!

A link is breaking out of the chain

[cloudbtw]

Cloud let out a playfully indignant scoff at her words, though he didn't exactly have much in the way of a rebuttal; she was on crutches and it was kind of an assholeish thing to do to ask her to bring it to him. Of course he knew that she was only teasing him, and with a fond chuckle, he nodded his head in acknowledgement of her declaration that she would be to the roof shortly.

Once she arrived a minute later, he made a display of pointedly looking at his watch before glancing up at her and feigning shock. "Wow! It took you so long to get up here I thought you just weren't coming at all." He teased with a grin. He stepped forward, his hand outstretched to take the pick from her, but pulled it back slightly at her words, his brows lifting in surprise. "You're blackmailing me? Over a guitar pick? Wow." He said shaking his head in an entirely playful and joking form of disbelief. "Did you ever consider that maybe I'm the one who has the power here, hm? Maybe I dropped the pick on purpose and it was all to get you up here. Ever think of that?" But it was only seconds after the last of these words left his mouth that he broke out into a laugh and he shook his head. "Alright fine! You have the power! But what can a lowly individual such as myself possibly have to offer you? I'm at your mercy here, Dove. So just, I don't know, name your price and I will do my best to provide it, alright?"

A guitar pick landed on her head. The impact had been light, but nevertheless startling, and despite the unorthodox nature of the situation she somehow wasn't surprised to see Cloud staring down at her from the roof.

"You're kind of an asshole to make a girl with crutches hop all the way to the roof of a building to return a piece of plastic," she called back up to him with a grin to show she was teasing him. "God forbid you be inconvenienced. I'll be up in a second." She pauses to bend over and pick it up from the ground before making her way inside. A quick elevator ride to the top of the building and a short hop down a hallway and she's greeted with a burst of fresh, cold air on the rooftop.

"So how badly do you want the pick? I feel like I hold a lot of power right now. Make me an offer I can't refuse."

[cloudbtw]

The instant that Cloud heard the familiar sound of Kit's voice he couldn't help the smile that found its way to his features. For all of the headaches that trying to sort through the way he felt about her brought him, when it came down to it, he could never hold onto any feeling of resentment towards her for too long. Her question of greeting prompted a soft chuckle to rise out of him. "That's just my spot. I do a lot of my writing up there. It's peaceful." He explained with a shrug, before he returned her embrace, his brows lifting a bit in surprise at her proposal. And as much as he hated himself for it, he felt a flutter in his stomach at the mention that she would do something just for him. "Nah, I'm not doing anything important right now. I'll go wherever with you." In truth this statement didn't come out quite the way he had intended, but then, it also wasn't the first time that Kit had hazed his brain enough for his words to spill out less filtered than he'd wanted them to.

              phone  slides  back  to  her  pocket  as  she  leans  against  the  door.  for  once,  she  doesn't  mind  waiting  for  someone  if  that  someone  is  cloud.  she  owes  him  too  much  to  be  a  bitch  about  it  —  besides,  in  no  time,  she  catches  his  known  head  of  hair  as  he  comes  down  from  the  stairs  down  the  hall.  "why  were  you  on  the  roof,  weirdo?"  insult  is  spoken  fondly,  the  corner  of  her  lips  twisting  upwards  into  a  smile  that  only  grows  as  he  approaches  her.  an  arm  is  thrown  over  him  in  a  loose  embrace.  "you're  not  too  attached  to  stay  in,  are  you?  i  thought  we  could  go  to  the  evergreen.  or  the  pie  hole.  i  would  go  there  for  you."

w. @cloudbtw

[cloudbtw]

Open Starter (0/4)

What had started out as a desire to find a quiet place to be alone with his thoughts and ideas during his time at boarding school had resulted in rooftops becoming the hangout spot of choice for Cloud. For whatever reason, he had always found that his creativity flowed best in these haunts he claimed as his own. Hell, it was on the very rooftop that he was sitting on presently that he’d written at least half of the songs that he had so far for the first Cosmic Attraction album. But in the days since Lizzie’s death he hadn’t really felt inclined to write anything new while he was up here. Instead, he’d found himself playing songs he’d known her to have liked, finding some level of catharsis in the process.

Today was yet another day where this trend continued, but in the midst of his private tribute to his departed friend, during a particularly fast flourish of strumming, his pick flew from his hand and over the edge of the rooftop. Scrambling to his feet, he looked down to see someone looking up, clearly having been stopped by the object falling from above. “Hey! Uh, yeah, sorry about that! Slipped my hand” Cloud shouted down to them, shaking his head with a sheepish chuckle and a shrug of his shoulders. “Don’t suppose you’ll do a guy a solid and bring that up to me?” He added in a joking tone, fully anticipating that he was gonna have to just suck it up and go down to get it himself.

[cloudbtw]

im going crazy.

[cloudbtw]

Cloud chuckled lightly at her request and nodded his head whilst rising to his feet. Now that she mentioned it, he realized that he hadn't eaten at all that day, and was feeling very hungry himself all of a sudden. He supposed that the reason he hadn't noticed before was because of the many other things that had been on his mind had blinded him to his body's needs. "Yeah we can stop for fries. We can definitely do that. There's a really good place not too far from my dorm actually." He told her, whilst holding out his hand in an offer to help her up off of the bench.

she knew chris well enough to know when he was lost in the process of a thought. or a feeling. and part of her felt guilty over his hurt - as if she could have sheltered him from it with the truth about lizzie a long time ago. would it have made a difference? she decided it wasn't for her to know right now. instead, she allowed herself to take a breath as they sat quietly. the silence, for the first time all day, didn't feel so isolating with the company at her side. charlie lifted her gaze when chris spoke again, the offer he made quite honestly sounded enticing as her body began to relax on the bench. "you're right," she tells him, circling her temples with her fingers. "my head is starting to hurt... can we stop for some fries? i'm starving."

[cloudbtw]

Cloud was very relieved when August agreed to go to the vigil together, partly for August's sake, and partly for his own. The simple truth of the matter was, Cloud didn't think either of them should try and face that alone, and while it was unlikely that the people around them would have allowed that anyway, he felt, inexplicably, like it was something they should face together. August's question regarding what he was currently doing actually prompted a small laugh from Cloud, though it was not a particularly humorous sound, but instead rang very hollow; a laugh of emptiness and feeling defeated by the circumstances. "I'm not doing anything right now, man. I'm just.. wandering, I guess. Trying to find...I don't know, exactly? Maybe I'm not even trying to find anything at all. But it feels like I am, and I just don't know what. Am I even making any sense right now? I don't know." He admitted, whilst running a hand through his hair and sighing heavily. "You?" He added after a beat.

Aimless wouldn't have been a strong enough word to describe August since he had learned about Lizzie. Despite having no real reason to be out of his dorm, since the announcement, he had been finding many; though mostly unconsciously searching for a way to keep busy. He thought about returning to his dorm until the vigil but felt nearly suffocated by the prospect, unsure if he would be able to return to his room for the rest of the week... two weeks. Let alone the pathetic two days that Montclair had given their students to grieve.

Instead, he wandered. In fact, he spent the last hour unable to shake the feeling that he had forgotten something. It was simply that he couldn't remember what it was; having only recently taken a seat to try and uncover what he had misplaced. His laptop charger? His sketchbook? A drink from the vending machine? Perhaps what he had really been looking for was a person. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

August buckled forward, dipping his head into his hands, his fingers brushing through his hair for a quick second before abruptly returning to his feet and continuing his original path. He had almost completely missed Chris in his determination to avoid... whatever it was he had been avoiding — hesitating at the sound of his name. At the sight of Chris, August's lips pressed into a line as his psyche danced between awareness and a desperate desire to escape himself. "Hey..."

As Chris began stammering, August was already shaking his head, trying to insist that he not try to find any words. In fact, hoping he wouldn't acknowledge... whatever it was that August didn't want to acknowledge. "It's fine," is what came out when he would have preferred to say please don't.

At the mention of the vigil, August nodded a little. Quickly. Almost as though if he responded readily enough, Chris's words would end sooner. The suppression of emotion manifested as a contortion of his lips. "Okay," he said lightly, nodding more appreciatively now. Though, somewhere in the back of his mind, he wondered how he would survive the vigil without his mother present. "Yeah, if you'd wanna go together... we can do that — I probably need it." He ran his tongue over his lips and let a small shrug lift his shoulders. "What are you doing now?"

[cloudbtw]

Closed Starter for: @destroyedalibis

When: Around 1 AM, January 7th

It didn't seem to matter at all that Cloud had spent the entire day feeling exhausted, because as soon as his head hit the pillow it became painfully clear to him that sleep wasn't happening any time soon, and it wasn't long after that when he was back up again and letting out a heavy sigh filled with frustration over that fact. After spending a few minutes pacing around his room, he grabbed a handful of keys from the dish he kept them in, and headed out the door, driven forward by restless energy, a clear destination in mind. How long did it take him to get to where he was going? He really couldn't say. He didn't really process the walk over, and so it was hard to gauge just how much time had actually passed by the time he found himself facing the familiar dorm room door that belonged to Arden. With a quick knock, he waited, hoping that she would not only be awake, but willing to indulge with him in his late night impulse. When the door finally opened, Cloud held up his keys and jingled them between his fingers. "I dunno about you, but I desperately need to get away from campus for a bit. You coming?" He asked.

[cloudbtw]

I'm gonna leave that city far behind and get a long, long way from there I've got a burning feeling deep inside of me and don't know where to put it Now that I've left that place I feel like someone for the first time in my life You don't remember what I said, but you'll remember what I did

I sure like the feeling of an endless road (My life is still a tale untold) I gotta stop believing in a long-gone past (If nothing stays forever, who laughs last?) I sure like the feeling of an endless road (I'm tired of doing what I'm told) I know that life is fleeting and it all goes fast (If no-one lives forever, who laughs last?)

[cloudbtw]

[  joe keery.  cis-man.  he/him.  subplot  25.  ]  welcome  back  to  montclair  university,  cloud  keith harrison  blackwell  !  according  to  your  student  file  you're  a  TWENTY - FOUR  year  old  FRESHMAN,  studying  MUSIC,  and  funny  enough  you  were  voted  most  likely  to  open  for  taylor  swift  your  senior  year  of  high  school  back  home  in  BOSTON MASSACHUSETTS .  i  can  totally  see  it  with  your  authentic,  introspective  and  impulsive  personality  !  but  enough  about  that  —  i  heard  you  were  lizzie  harrington's  FAMILY FRIEND.  makes  sense  when  you  take  into  consideration  your  status  as  a scholarship  student…  and  the  fact  that  you're  hiding that [redacted] .  you're  often  seen  at  the hollow bar,  and  you  kind  of  embody  a stack of vinyls piled high enough to tip at any moment; green lights, neon and strobe; paper scattered about a messy room with hastily scribbled musical notes; and coming alive when you take the stage; …  not  to  mention  people  always  seem  to  hum  who laughs last by lord huron  cosmic attraction when  you're  around,  but  you'll  always  be  known  on  campus  as  THE  UNCHAINED  who  enjoys  playing guitar  and  has  10k  instagram  followers…  good  luck  this  semester  !  [  peanut.  29.  he/him.  est.  animal abuse + animal death.  ]

Basic Information

Full Name: Keith Harrison Blackwell Cloud

Date of Birth: May 7th

Place of Birth: Boston Massachusetts, USA

Immediate Family: None, as far as he's concerned.

Sexuality: Heterosexual 

Star Sign: Taurus  

Face Claim: Joe Keery

Sound Claim: Lord Huron; specifically their album Vide Noir, and their single Who Laughs Last

Culture Rock Fan Magazine Interview

For The Spotlight Column by Frankie Demarco

Hey rock'n'rollers! Welcome to another edition of The Spotlight: the monthly column where I sit down with local musicians on the scene and pick their brains like guitar strings! My subject this month is one that some of you have wrote in to request quite a few times over the past couple months. But trust me, you didn't need to write in; this guy has been on my radar ever since he and his band first burst onto the scene over in Greenwich after winning The We Will Rock Off right here in NYC this past summer, and I've just been waiting for the right time to sit down with him and talk shop! Well, now that the first single "Who Laughs Last" is out and being listened to and talked about by seemingly everyone I know, it seemed like it was finally time. So, I sat down with Cloud, guitar player, vocalist and primary song writer for Greenwich's hottest new band, Cosmic Attraction, for his first ever exclusive interview. And trust me, dear readers, you are in for one hell of a tale with this one!

I: So glad to finally have you here, Cloud. Thanks so much for doing this!

C: No problem at all, man. I'm glad to be here.

I: So, I wanna start by asking you about the name Cloud. I think a lot of us have been thinking that it was just a stage name, but when you came in here today, you introduced yourself as Cloud. Can you tell me a bit about that? No way that your parents actually named you Cloud!?

C: Oh no. It's not the name I was born with, but it's the only name I go by.

I: Would it be pushing it too much to ask what your real name is?

C: Cloud is my real name, man. Like I said, is it the name I was given at birth? No. But it's the only name I acknowledge. But since, I'm sure, there will be some people who read this and go out of their way to try and find out what my birth name is, let me just put this out there right away: Whatever you might hear, don't call me Keith Blackwell. Just don't do it. Not even if you personally knew me when that was still the name people knew me by, okay? As far as I'm concerned, Keith Blackwell is dead, and nobody is going to miss him.

I: Interesting! You talk almost like this Keith Blackwell was an altogether different person from you.

C: He was. And like I said, nobody is gonna miss him.

I: Why do you say that? What makes you think nobody would miss Keith?

C: Why should they? After all, Keith wasn't ever really alive to begin with.

I: What do you mean by that?

C: I just mean that the life I had as Keith wasn't really much of a life, and I wasn't really much of a person. I grew up as a member of the illustrious Blackwell family, and yeah that meant that my life growing up was a life full of wealth and privilege sure. But it also meant growing up with the strictest of expectations and standards weighing down on me. Expectations that I never really lived up to.

I: What kind of expectations?

C: Ha. Well, Blackwell boys are expected to grow into "great men" and leaders, and bullshit like that. That's just how it's been for generations. A lot of politicians in the Blackwell family. My father is State Governor. So it was drilled into my head over and over and over again that Blackwells don't fool around with trivial pursuits like art, or music, or fiction; they study law, and politics, and math, and sciences, and they prove their dominance and inborn right to lead through excelling in athletics. They're alpha males, in the truest and most fucking toxic definition of the term, drawing crowds of admirers and followers, their natural charisma and social dominance ensuring that they're always at the center of attention, collecting people who want to bask in their reflected glory. I was supposed to be just the same way.

I: But you weren't?

C: Not at all. I never really wanted to be what they envisioned me to be either, but I still tried to be anyway. No kid wants to be a disappointment to their family, so I gave it my best shot to be what they expected me to be. But as much I tried to live up to everything that was expected of me, as much as I tried to embody this idea of what a Blackwell was supposed to be, the simple reality was that I was the complete opposite of it in nearly every way.

I: What do you mean by opposite?

C: While the typical Blackwell boy commands rooms and effortlessly attracts friends and allies, I struggled with even basic social interactions, finding myself awkward and tongue-tied. Seems kinda crazy now right? But back then, I was always afraid to say the wrong thing, and always second guessing myself, whereas all of my relatives were smooth and confident with their words. I was the anomaly in a family of natural socialites—alone even in crowded rooms. Best case, I was invisible despite the weight of the family name, and worst case, tormented by my peers and my own kin alike. And my struggles weren't just socially; I wasn't any good at sports either. I didn't like them, and no matter how much I tried to be good at them, I just wasn't. It wasn't for a lack of effort, or lack of wanting to like them, I was just a shitty athlete, and that made me a huge disappointment to my father. He was a state champion in wrestling, baseball, football...all kinds of shit like that. Really, the only thing that kept me from being a complete disappointment as far as my family were concerned was that I was at least strong academically, but my father even found a way to turn that into a negative, telling me on multiple different occasions that I needed to pry my nose out of my books and learn how to be a man, or else I would be sure to bring shame to the Blackwell name. Nearly everything about who I was as a person when I was Keith Blackwell made me the living embodiment of the concept of disappointment as far as my family saw things, but I always felt as though I had no choice but to keep trying to live up to their expectations. I felt like that for a long long time.

I: I never would have guessed that you struggled so much growing up. You seem so confident in yourself now.

C: I am, because I eventually stopped trying to be Keith Blackwell and embraced being Cloud.

I: So when did you become Cloud then? And how? How did the Keith Blackwell that you just described become the person sitting here talking to me?

C: The answer is every bit as cliche and cringe-worthy as you might expect, but it's the truth: The genesis for Cloud was when I found music.

At this point in the interview, I audibly groaned, which prompted a laugh to escape Cloud.

C: I told you it was cringey man! But it really is the truth. Let me take you back alright? Boarding school, little fourteen year old me was told that I had to take a mandatory art class, and so I reluctantly signed up for Freshman guitar with Mrs. Elliot. I'll never forget walking into that room on the first day of the semester; probably the most nervous I've ever been in my life. Mrs. Elliot had a reputation for being hard on her students; something I'd only learned after I'd already signed up to take the damn class and it was too late to pull out of it. I remember, I sat down, and some of the other students around me already had their guitars out, and were playing something that, at the time, to me, sounded really good, but then Mrs. Elliot scolded them for their poor and sloppy technique, and I remember wishing right then that I'd signed up for Freshman Art instead. I thought I'd made a huge mistake.

I: Really?!

C: Oh yeah absolutely. I thought I had absolutely no business at all being there. But then I took the guitar I'd been assigned out of its case, and I can't explain it, but it just felt right in my hands immediately. I liked the way it felt, and even though I was still nervous, there was some excitement in there too; something I was not too accustomed to feeling at that point. But I said to myself right then "Blackwells don't waste time with useless pastimes" and I promised myself that once the class was all done and over with, I'd put the guitar down and try to focus on what was really important. And even when it turned out that I was actually good at the guitar, like naturally good at it, I kept telling myself the same thing. But let me tell you something: I was fucking lying. And you know what? I knew it from the minute I picked up that guitar. I knew I wasn't putting it back down again if I could help it.

I: And of course, you didn't.

C: Nope, I sure didn't. When the semester ended, I didn’t return the school guitar. I hid it in the back of my dorm room closet and claimed I'd lost it. My father, furious as he was about the stupidity required to lose an instrument, paid the school to replace it. It was the first time in my entire life that I had ever done something in direct defiance of my parents; the first time that Cloud peeked out from behind Keith Blackwell. With guitar in hand, I really began to come out of my shell. I loved the way that playing and making music made me feel, and guilty as I felt for enjoying it, I couldn't deny that there was a thrill that came with knowing that I was doing something that my family wouldn't approve of. It made me feel empowered in a way that I had never experienced before, and my confidence started to grow as a result. I was still a dorky loser, but I was a dorky loser that cared about and was good at something.

I: So what happened after that?

C: Freshman year after that is a bit of a blur. I know that I binged hard on any and all music I could get my hands on. It's not like I'd never listened to music before, but there was a lot music my family wouldn't let me listen to growing up, and nearly as much music that I appreciated in an entirely different way after I started playing myself. My stack of vinyls got taller by the week, and by the time the summer came, I realized there was no way I was going to be able to hide them all in my suitcase. I stashed them in a log in the woods near the school. They were, unsurprisingly, gone by the time school started up again.

I: Aw no way!

C: Yeah way. (laughs) It was stupid of me to think I could hide them there for the entire summer and they would still be there when I went back for them, but it was take a chance on that, or have them for sure be taken when I went home.

I: What about the guitar? What did you do with that?

C: That was harder to try and hide. And honestly, I didn't want to be without it for the entire summer. So I sent it to a family friend through the mail and asked her to bring it over when she came to visit. Once it was in the house, I knew I would be able to find somewhere to hide it. I wish I'd done the same thing with those vinyls though.

I: This is fascinating! Your old man sounds a bit like Thomas Oregon.

C: (laughs because he understood my truly amazing reference) That's exactly what he was, yeah. My life really was like a rock opera. Or at least it felt like one to me. I unfortunately didn't have a spaceship shaped like a treble clef though.

I: So what happened next? I'm on the edge of my seat listening to this!

C: Well, Sophomore year of high school is where things really started to change, because sophomore year is when I met some other dorks who loved music just as much as I did, and we decided to start a band. Well, okay, to consider us a band at that point, you need to have a very loose definition of the word, but we were playing music together and that's what matters. We did, eventually, get to be good too. Good enough that when we found out that a local pub near the school was hosting a band night, we lied about our ages and snuck out of the school to go and play there. I won't name the pub in question just so that they don't run into legal trouble.

I: That's pretty rebellious of you. Were you scared of getting caught?

C: Terribly so. But I also desperately wanted to do it. I'd never had the chance to play music in front a crowd before, and I wanted to see what it was like. But yeah I was definitely afraid of getting caught. So much so that I told everyone to call me Cloud. (laughs) Yeah, that's when the Cloud identity was officially born. Not just in name either though. That first time playing in front of a live crowd really awakened something in me. It was a transformative experience. Really the rest of high school after that was a series of transformative experiences.

I: What kind of experiences were you having?

C: Well word got out about the dorks who were in a band and played in local pubs, and while I think the intention of our classmates was to show up to these shows as a joke, it turned out that they couldn't find much to laugh at. It didn't take long at all before we had an actual following, comprised largely of our classmates, and the crowds we were drawing were enough for one of the pubs to offer us a regular weekly gig. There was even some talk with some record execs about recording a demo tape. I was on cloud nine, and living a happier life than I had ever imagined was possible. I wanted to do it for the rest of my life, and I think I really believed that I was going to do exactly that, all while taking my music to new heights. I was right, but before I got there, I was unfortunately going to have to fall to an all new low first.

I: Oh no. What happened?

C: We got caught, of course. How we didn't get caught until senior year, I'll never really know. But when we did, the consequences were swift and severe. I was pulled out of school by my family immediately, and transferred to a much more rigid institution to complete my studies. My instruments were destroyed by my father, as was the vinyl collection I had worked hard to build back up after losing it in freshman year. But worst of all, he destroyed all the music I had written. I was also informed that rather than attending Montclair University in Greenwich as had always been the plan, I was being sent to a military preparation college, only after I had completed three years of working in my father's office, where he vowed that he would personally see to it that I became a man worthy of the Blackwell name.

I: Damn. That sounds pretty terrible.

C: It was. There's really not a whole lot to say about what happened over the next six years. I felt defeated, and like my dreams were dead. All the growth I'd experienced during my time at boarding school had been stamped out of me, and I returned to trying to fit the mold of the Blackwells that I had never fit into, and never would. I was given a bit of freedom back by the time I started college, but I had no illusions of trying to go back to being true to myself. I was going to be exactly who my family wanted me to be, and I was totally convinced that there was nothing I could do about it. Cloud was dead.

I: So what changed? How did you end up sitting here with me today?

C: I remembered who I really was.

I: How?

C: It was actually the simplest thing: a guitar sitting in a windowsill. Not just any guitar though, but what was unmistakably my guitar; the very same one I'd stolen from my boarding school in freshman year. I knew it to be mine, because I could just make out, chiseled into the wood upon the bottom, one single word: Cloud.

I: That's unbelievable!

C: I was in disbelief. I had been certain that my father had destroyed the guitar just as he'd claimed, but there it was sitting in the window of some random shop on some random street in Boston. Seeing it stirred something deep within me. Relief for sure, but also anger. Anger at the idea that someone else could buy that guitar and play it when it was mine. I felt possessive over it in a way I had never felt about anything else in my entire life, and I didn't hesitate for a moment before I went into that pawn shop and bought it back. The instant I held it in my hands again, I knew what I needed to do.

I: Don't tell me that you actually confronted your father?

C: I sure did. It's crazy how something so simple could be so empowering, but the instant that my guitar was in my hands again, I felt like I was coming out of a years long haze. I wasn't afraid anymore. I was just angry.

I: So? How did that confrontation go?!

C: I know it's not what you want to hear, but I don't actually have all that much to say about it. What you're imagining it to be is probably spot on. Nothing could have prepared me for how good it felt to finally tell him off for everything I had endured trying to be the son he wanted me to be. I wish I could say that I have any regrets about disowning my family and my name, but I don't. Well, actually, that's not true. I do have one regret: I regret that I didn't do it six fucking years ago.

I: So that was the moment when Keith Blackwell died?

C: And the moment that Cloud came back from the dead, that's right.

I: That's an insane story! So what does you life look like now that you're out on your own?

C: Well I'm studying at Montclair University, in on a scholarship for music. It's not the easy path—not by a long shot. Hell, even getting my scholarship wasn't easy, but I pulled it off. The money I get from the scholarship covers my tuition, but not much else. I'm working nights and weekends at a local music store, scraping together just barely enough to pay for food and other expenses. Yeah, sometimes I do eat ramen for dinner three nights in a row, and yeah, I am perpetually tired from the constant juggling act of classes, work, and trying to get Cosmic Attraction off the ground. But you know what? I'm happy. And I wouldn't trade that for all the money in the Blackwell bank account.

I: Well, this has already been a pretty long interview, and I didn't even ask half of the questions I wrote down before hand! This definitely took a turn I did not expect, but I'm sure our readers will be fascinated to hear your story! But I guess my last question for you today is: what can readers expect from you in the future?

C: They can expect more music. People reading this mag have probably already heard a good chunk of what will become the first album from seeing our shows, but trust me when I say there's still a lot that nobody has heard yet, and once we get it all recorded it's going to be mind-blowing.

I: I for one cannot wait to hear what you've got cooking. Readers! if you haven't already, go listen to Who Laughs Last, the first single by Cosmic Attraction, available wherever you get your music! Anything you'd like to add, Cloud?

C: Yeah! If you haven't had the chance to come see Cosmic Attraction, we play every Thursday and the third Saturday of every month at The Hollow Bar! Come and check us out!

Tldr Version: Cloud comes from a family who are highly respected and are known to produce "great men." However, Cloud never fit into the typical Blackwell mold, and lived a very nothing and empty life trying not to disappoint them, but consistently doing so anyway. This continued until he went off to boarding school and discovered music. Through music Cloud found his confidence, and identity, and although he was eventually forced to give up music and return to the acceptable path by his family for a number of years, he did eventually break free of them, putting his birth name of Keith Blackwell firmly to rest, and pursuing his dream of being a musician. Cloud just started at Montclair this school year after attending a military academy for the previous three. His band, Cosmic Attraction, have become quite a sensation in the local music scene, after they won a big battle of the bands competition in New York City during the summer, the prize of which was a fully paid recording session for a single. That single is the song Who Laughs Last, which can be found here

More Coming soon!!!!!

(Gonna be real, I've been working on this on and off for a couple days and I need to just let this out and then I'll add more stuff lol)

[cloudbtw]

[cloudbtw]

The sight of Ryan approaching brought Cloud a small amount of relief. Or perhaps it was a large amount of relief, which just felt small when weighed against everything else that he was feeling. Either way, the relief was still a welcome addition in the melting pot that was his emotional state, and it prompted him to exhale a sigh. He couldn't help but let out a small laugh at her words of greeting, not because there was anything particular funny about it, but because it was so normal. And yet, really, what else was she supposed to say? What greeting would have been better for this situation? He couldn't even begin to think of one.

"Hi." He replied back, the ghost of the laugh still present in his features whilst his eyes swept over her, admiring the details the same as he always did. It was reassuring to him that, even despite everything that was going on, his eyes were still as eager as ever to take in and admire the sight of her, prompting a knot of excitement and nerves to form in the pit of his stomach. "I wasn't sure if you were still coming. I uh..I was a bit afraid to ask in case you said no." He admitted, hesitating a little on the latter half of the statement. It was true, but it was also a personal thing to admit. Exactly the type of thing he had spent the week prior to that day hoping desperately he wouldn't just come right out and say. And yet, he was feeling emboldened now. He took a step towards her, closing the gap between them ever so slightly. "And I...I really didn't want you to say no. This has been a terrible day. Just awful. Maybe the worst day of my life." He took another step forward, and reached out to take her face in both of his hands. "And I guess I just...I really needed one good thing to hold onto and hope for." Sighing, he let his hands fall away from her face. "So I...I didn't ask. I just waited to see if you came. And you did. And I'm...I'm glad."

the   news   about   lizzie's   death   had   shook   ryan   to   her   core.   while   the   girls   weren't   exactly   the   closest   while   the   harrington   girl   was   alive…   ryan   hadn't   expected   something   like   this   to   happen.   though,   of   course   a   death   on   campus   is   the   last   thing   anyone   expects.   as   soon   as   she'd   heard   the   news,   the   blonde   felt   like   her   life   had   been   split   into   two   very   distinct   parts.   her   life   before   lizzie's   death   and   her   life   after   it.   processing   emotions   wasn't   something   that   she'd   been   very   good   at   –   ever.   preferring   to   escape   through   distraction.   while   her   vice   of   choice   wasn't   exactly   an   option   anymore,   a   meaningless   hookup   could   provide   enough   of   a   distraction.   at   least   for   tonight.   mauve   cardigan   draped   over   her   shoulders   as   she   made   her   way   into   the   chill   of   the   afternoon   towards   the   meeting   place   that   she'd   agreed   upon   with   christopher   when   they'd   first   started   hooking   up,   months   prior.   at   this   point,   it   had   become   regular   as   clockwork.   or,   at   least   once   a   week.   the   sinclair   reading   room   had   provided   an   inconspicuous   enough   space.   private   enough   to   initiate   these   meetings,   anyway.   slim   fingers   wrap   around   the   cool   metal   of   the   door   into   the   building;   hoping   that   despite   all   the   chaos   they   were   still   on   for   today.   warmth   from   the   building   instantly   made   her   relax,   despite   the   growing   anticipation.   relief   washed   over   her   when   a   few   steps   into   the   room,   she   spotted   christopher   out   of   the   corner   of   her   eye.   pace   picks   up   slightly   to   make   her   way   over   to   him.   “   hi,   ”   the   greeting   seemed   odd,   like   it   was   too   much   and   not   enough   at   the   same   time.   but,   she   wasn't   entirely   sure   how   to   greet   someone   at   a   time   like   this.   “   it's   good   to   see   you.   ”

[cloudbtw]

Christopher felt bad as they sat in a heavy silence following everything he'd just said. He could tell that the returned sentiment of love was genuine, but he also knew that the expression had undoubtedly felt heavier, more tinged in shades of sorrow than he would have liked it to be. Even when Beau laughed and made a joke about everything he'd said, though Christopher joined in with a laugh of his own, the words that followed the joke made it clear to him that the thoughts he'd rambled out without consideration of the impact they might have had left an impression on his friend. He nodded along with Beau as he spoke, but said nothing. What more was there to say about it? She was gone, and so she would never be able to fight back against the people who were assholes to her memory. When Beau handed him the bottle, Christopher took it, whilst nodding his head at the words that accompanied the action. "If it makes you feel any better, I think I'll cry if I keep saying shit like that too." He admitted with a weak chuckle and a shrug of his shoulders. "Crying today is inevitable though. It's just a matter of when, not if. It's not gonna be now though. Not here. Wrong place, wrong time. Only the company is right."

for  a  long  moment,  beau  doesn't  say  anything  in  response.  he  just  sits  there,  gaze  fixed  on  the  bottle  between  them,  watching  the  way  the  evening  light  catches  in  the  amber  liquid  as  it  sloshes  in  the  glass.  it's  almost  empty  now,  proof  that  even  this  form  of  relief  will  be  temporary.  his  jaw  tightens,  then  loosens,  then  tightens  again.  chris  is  right.  about  all  of  it.  about  how  the  regret  fades,  how  they'll  all  go  back  to  being  the  same  flawed,  messy  people  they  were  before.  how  none  of  them  ever  learn.  his  throat  feels  tight,  but  he  swallows  past  it,  tilting  his  head  just  enough  to  look  at  chris.  loss  is  foreign  to  him—was  foreign,  at  least—and  the  thought  of  losing  one  of  his  favorite  people  in  the  world  is  enough  to  choke  him  up  already.  "love  you  too,  man,"  he  murmurs,  knowing  the  emotion  is  turning  his  voice  rough.  he  means  it.  he  just  hopes  chris  knows  that.

then,  because  sitting  in  silence  with  that  much  sincerity  hanging  between  them  is  unbearable,  he  lets  out  a  chuckle.  it's  still  dry  and  humorless,  but  it  gives  him  a  second  to  blink  away  the  melancholy  that  threatens  to  claw  its  way  to  the  surface.  "that  was  some  real  poetic,  depressing  shit  you  just  dropped  on  me."  beau  shakes  his  head,  fingers  drumming  once  against  the  bottle  before  he  picks  it  up  again,  tilting  it  towards  chris  before  taking  another  swig.  there's  no  grimace  this  time.  "you're  right,  though.  we'll  forget.  we  always  do.  i  guess  i  just  hate  that  she's  not  here  to  be  an  asshole  back."  the  words  come  out  more  bitter  than  he  intends,  but  that  doesn't  erase  the  truth  behind  them.  he's  spent  so  much  time  resenting  lizzie,  convincing  himself  she  and  their  broken  friendship  didn't  matter.  and  now  she  was  gone,  and  it  feels  like  someone  has  ruined  even  his  chances  of  being  spiteful. 

beau  presses  the  bottle  into  his  friend's  hand  before  he  can  start  spiraling  further,  shaking  his  head  with  a  weak  smirk.  "i  think  i'm  gonna  need  you  to  stop  saying  wholesome  things  before  you  make  me  cry,  man."

[cloudbtw]

Christopher was pulled from his emotional daze to scoff at Kit's words, and he shook his head, both at the words themselves, and the offer of the cigarette. "First of all, you're always going to be Kit to me. That's one of the wonderful privileges that come from knowing someone for your entire life." He replied, and though it was meant to be a snarky retort, the full reality of the meaning of his words and the truth behind them had made his voice succumb to sentimental emotion halfway through delivering it, making it impossible for him to not fall into looking at her with soft and sad eyes, and a softer and sadder smile. They truly had known each other for their entire lives, and that seemed more significant now than ever. He cleared his throat loudly and gave his head a good shake, trying to get a grip on himself before he broke down into ugly emotions several hours before he was prepared to do so. "Sorry. Ahem. What was I saying? Oh, yeah. Secondly, I didn't really want to come, but I could practically hear Lizzie telling me that she wanted me to, and that she would find this whole thing fun. So I came, annnd almost immediately regretted it." He admitted bitterly.

                 "it  should  be  katherine  now,  you  know?"  she  had  assumed  it  would  be  less  childish,  more  of  her  coming  into  her  own,  when  she  first  started  at  montclair,  but  the  observation  is  only  half  of  a  joke,  whatever  remains  of  a  humor  inside  of  her,  exhaled  by  the  presence  of  someone  she  actually  enjoys  the  company  of.  christopher  had  seen  too  much  of  her  for  the  façade  to  endure  entirely,  so  she  isn't  embarrassed  to  hold  onto  a  vice  in  front  of  him,  readily  accepting  the  lighter  offered  —  something  passes  in  her  mind  about  how  perhaps  she  should  not  allow  such  lightness  to  embrace  her  in  front  of  him,  but  guilt  is  not  something  she  holds  on  when  it  comes  to  chris  and  his  feelings.  if  they  are  hurt,  it  is  not  of  her  own  making,  after  all.  "thank  you."  voice  is  gentler  and  quieter  as  she  hands  him  the  lighter;  after  a  pause,  hand  also  offers  her  own  cigarette.  "i  didn't  think  you  would  come  to  this  kind  of  thing.  but  then,  i  am  also  in  this  pit  of  hell,  so  who  am  i  to  judge?"