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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug Additional Tags: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir-centric, Episode: s03 Chat Blanc, Character Study, Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir Needs a Hug, he does not get one :), Poetry, Purple Prose, no beta we die like the moon Summary:

The Earth’s moon has a radius of 1,740 kilometers and is on average 384,400 kilometers away, and in one of his futures Adrien struck it in a haze of mindless fury and turned it into nothing more than dust and memories and rage.

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I don't know who needs to hear this, but if the phrase "self care" doesn't resonate with you, try calling it "system maintenance" and see if that clicks.

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person trying to get out of a timeloop but they keep getting brutally murdered by the other person stuck in the timeloop, who is having the most amazing vacation of their life and refuses to leave

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consider this my formal thank you for making me crazy. i did not realize that creator of hunger au (amazing brilliant beautiful gorgeous by the way) was also ORGANIZER OF HOTGUY COMICS ZINE. you are a 10/10 fanwork machine when do you SLEEP. i think i said it all in my post already but ummmmmmmm yeah i will never recover from the hotguy zine. thank you times infinity plus one there were multiple points when reading that i screamed so loudly i'm pretty sure any neighbors thought i was getting murdered. you (and everyone else that worked on the zine) (but also you) are SO SO SO TALENTED. and i appreciate your contributions to the crazy person community and my personal insanity. THANK YOU FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

WIDBSIDHEIDDHEJ RIPS OFF T-SHIRT TO REVEAL ANOTHER T-SHIRT THAT SAYS "CRAZY ABOUT HGCZ FOUNDER (ONE OF)" ON IT. I SHAKE YOUR HAND COMRADE IN THIS HOUSE WE LOVE HGCZ!!!!!

Always makes me giggle when ppl find out im head mod of hgcz AND author of hunger au. I feel like everything i touch ends up having a particular Flavour™ to it thats sorta become my signature at this point 😂😂😂😂 after a while u can just tell if ive smeared my little hands all over something. Hgcz was SUCH a fun thing to help organize, and hats off to the rest of my team ( @corvidaearts , @kunehokki , @cocoabats ) for being such troopers, as well as all our contributors for being fucking tireless champions. Some fun little tidbits for you about it and my own role in the zinethology:

1.) the HGCZ story was never meant to be as connected as it was!! While it was supposed to take place in the same universe, our initial goal was for each piece to be a vaguely connected snapshot of HG&CG (mis)adventures. What HGCZ is now is the culmination of our contributors getting mass brainrot at the speed of light (/aff), the mods getting pulled down river right along with them, and me being in charge of cobbling together the timeline. We didn't have a plot from the start-- we just made one up as we went!!!

2.) As mentioned above i was the person who fit each pitch into a cohesive timeline, and connected them together into the plot it has today!! This took i think about 4 hours of nonstop work after our team decided on pitches, which had taken a few hours on top of that-- iirc it was a 6 hour meeting in total, and i was up til 4am doing it 😂😂😂😂😂 i was really inspired!!!

3.) in addition to being head mod, i was also our lead editor, which meant that every single piece passed through me as the final proofreader. My gratitude goes out to our contributors for how gracious they were about that, as well as the style guide i set up in advance to keep things consistent throughout the entire zinethology 😭😭😭

4.) in case anyone isnt aware, i made the Official Listening Playlist!! I went through every piece-- including the socmed interludes-- and timed how fast i read them (i went for slightly speedier than i normally read, as editing has made me a much slower reader in general), then hunted for songs that fell within that range and had the appropriate vibes, movement, and instruments associated with the scene (yes, i even assigned instruments to the characters-- and sometimes their relationships). There were a lot of increasingly deranged messages sent to my fellow mods that asked things like "can you help me find a jazz song thats about 40 seconds long" and "i need a somber instrumental with chimes thats about 2:36 minutes in length for this section HELP MEEEEE" by the time we got closer to release 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

i actually ended up staying awake for 36 hrs straight while completing it-- one of my beloved partners, @sisyphean-torment , watched me search various OSTs on youtube in what i can only presume was the type of fascination you find unique to entomologists that have discovered a brand new bug to study. Needless to say i am very proud of that playlist, it is my baby 👍💥💥💥💥

I truly appreciate all the compliments, neighbor 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ i worked super hard on HGCZ, so seeing people go crazy over it is like the best thing ever, your tags in that og post were SO everything to me (everyone was really excited by your reaction actually, it was so sweet!!!). So thank you again for such a lovely ask.... and maybe continue keeping an eye on the official blog 👀👀👀 for no reason in particular, ofc<3

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I know that realistically you can only fit so many movies into a list of approximately 100, but I cannot take that "How many of tumblr's favorite movies have you seen?" list that's been going around seriously because there are some truly egregious omissions.

Some of it is very clearly recency bias, which makes me wonder if the op truly wasn't on here in 2013 or so, but you're telling me you made a list of "tumblr's favorite movies" that doesn't include Pacific Rim or Mad Max: Fury Road? Because, like, I was there, Gandalf.

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how do i explain to people that wario is like a son to me

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me finding out my mutual is one inch taller than me

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A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” said the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back!”

“Be logical,” said the scorpion. “If I stung you I’d certainly drown myself.”

“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Climb aboard, then!” But no sooner than they were halfway across the river, the scorpion stung the frog, and they both began to thrash and drown. “Why on earth did you do that?” the frog said morosely. “Now we’re both going to die.” 

“I can’t help it,” said the scorpion. “It’s my nature.”

___

…But no sooner than they were halfway across the river, the frog felt a subtle motion on its back, and in a panic dived deep beneath the rushing waters, leaving the scorpion to drown.

“It was going to sting me anyway,” muttered the frog, emerging on the other side of the river. “It was inevitable. You all knew it. Everyone knows what those scorpions are like. It was self-defense.”

___

…But no sooner had they cast off from the bank, the frog felt the tip of a stinger pressed lightly against the back of its neck. “What do you think you’re doing?” said the frog.

“Just a precaution,” said the scorpion. “I cannot sting you without drowning. And now, you cannot drown me without being stung. Fair’s fair, isn’t it?”

They swam in silence to the other end of the river, where the scorpion climbed off, leaving the frog fuming.

“After the kindness I showed you!” said the frog. “And you threatened to kill me in return?”

“Kindness?” said the scorpion. “To only invite me on your back after you knew I was defenseless, unable to use my tail without killing myself? My dear frog, I only treated you as I was treated. Your kindness was as poisoned as a scorpion’s sting.”

___

…“Just a precaution,” said the scorpion. “I cannot sting you without drowning. And now, you cannot drown me without being stung. Fair’s fair, isn’t it?”

“You have a point,” the frog acknowledged. “But once we get to dry land, couldn’t you sting me then without repercussion?”

“All I want is to cross the river safely,” said the scorpion. “Once I’m on the other side I would gladly let you be.”

“But I would have to trust you on that,” said the frog. “While you’re pressing a stinger to my neck. By ferrying you to land I’d be be giving up the one deterrent I hold over you.”

“But by the same logic, I can’t possibly withdraw my stinger while we’re still over water,” the scorpion protested.

The frog paused in the middle of the river, treading water. “So, I suppose we’re at an impasse.”

The river rushed around them. The scorpion’s stinger twitched against the frog’s unbroken skin. “I suppose so,” the scorpion said.

___

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Absolutely not!” said the frog, and dived beneath the waters, and so none of them learned anything.

___

A scorpion, being unable to swim, asked a turtle (as in the original Persian version of the fable) to carry it across the river. The turtle readily agreed, and allowed the scorpion aboard its shell. Halfway across, the scorpion gave in to its nature and stung, but failed to penetrate the turtle’s thick shell. The turtle, swimming placidly, failed to notice.

They reached the other side of the river, and parted ways as friends.

___

…Halfway across, the scorpion gave in to its nature and stung, but failed to penetrate the turtle’s thick shell.

The turtle, hearing the tap of the scorpion’s sting, was offended at the scorpion’s ungratefulness. Thankfully, having been granted the powers to both defend itself and to punish evil, the turtle sank beneath the waters and drowned the scorpion out of principle.

___

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” sneered the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back.”

The scorpion pleaded earnestly. “Do you think so little of me? Please, I must cross the river. What would I gain from stinging you? I would only end up drowning myself!”

“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Even a scorpion knows to look out for its own skin. Climb aboard, then!”

But as they forged through the rushing waters, the scorpion grew worried. This frog thinks me a ruthless killer, it thought. Would it not be justified in throwing me off now and ridding the world of me? Why else would it agree to this? Every jostle made the scorpion more and more anxious, until the frog surged forward with a particularly large splash, and in panic the scorpion lashed out with its stinger.

“I knew it,” snarled the frog, as they both thrashed and drowned. “A scorpion cannot change its nature.”

___

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. The frog agreed, but no sooner than they were halfway across the scorpion stung the frog, and they both began to thrash and drown.

“I’ve only myself to blame,” sighed the frog, as they both sank beneath the waters. “You, you’re a scorpion, I couldn’t have expected anything better. But I knew better, and yet I went against my judgement! And now I’ve doomed us both!”

“You couldn’t help it,” said the scorpion mildly. “It’s your nature.” 

___

…“Why on earth did you do that?” the frog said morosely. “Now we’re both going to die.”

“Alas, I was of two natures,” said the scorpion. “One said to gratefully ride your back across the river, and the other said to sting you where you stood. And so both fought, and neither won.” It smiled wistfully. “Ah, it would be nice to be just one thing, wouldn’t it? Unadulterated in nature. Without the capacity for conflict or regret.”

___

“By the way,” said the frog, as they swam, “I’ve been meaning to ask: What’s on the other side of the river?”

“It’s the journey,” said the scorpion. “Not the destination.”

___

…“What’s on the other side of anything?” said the scorpion. “A new beginning.”

___

…”Another scorpion to mate with,” said the scorpion. “And more prey to kill, and more living bodies to poison, and a forthcoming lineage of cruelties that you will be culpable in.”

___

…”Nothing we will live to see, I fear,” said the scorpion. “Already the currents are growing stronger, and the river seems like it shall swallow us both. We surge forward, and the shoreline recedes. But does that mean our striving was in vain?”

___

“I love you,” said the scorpion.

The frog glanced upward. “Do you?”

“Absolutely. Can you imagine the fear of drowning? Of course not. You’re a frog. Might as well be scared of breathing air. And yet here I am, clinging to your back, as the waters rage around us. Isn’t that love? Isn’t that trust? Isn’t that necessity? I could not kill you without killing myself. Are we not inseparable in this?”

The frog swam on, the both of them silent.

___

“I’m so tired,” murmured the frog eventually. “How much further to the other side? I don’t know how long we’ve been swimming. I’ve been treading water. And it’s getting so very dark.”

“Shh,” the scorpion said. “Don’t be afraid.”

The frog’s legs kicked out weakly. “How long has it been? We’re lost. We’re lost! We’re doomed to be cast about the waters forever. There is no land. There’s nothing on the other side, don’t you see!”

“Shh, shh,” said the scorpion. “My venom is a hallucinogenic. Beneath its surface, the river is endlessly deep, its currents carrying many things.” 

“You - You’ve killed us both,” said the frog, and began to laugh deliriously. “Is this - is this what it’s like to drown?” 

“We’ve killed each other,” said the scorpion soothingly. “My venom in my glands now pulsing through your veins, the waters of your birthing pool suffusing my lungs. We are engulfing each other now, drowning in each other. I am breathless. Do you feel it? Do you feel my sting pierced through your heart?”

“What a foolish thing to do,” murmured the frog. “No logic. No logic to it at all.”

“We couldn’t help it,” whispered the scorpion. “It’s our natures. Why else does anything in the world happen? Because we were made for this from birth, darling, every moment inexplicable and inevitable. What a crazy thing it is to fall in love, and yet - It’s all our fault! We are both blameless. We’re together now, darling. It couldn’t have happened any other way.”

___

“It’s funny,” said the frog. “I can’t say that I trust you, really. Or that I even think very much of you and that nasty little stinger of yours to begin with. But I’m doing this for you regardless. It’s strange, isn’t it? It’s strange. Why would I do this? I want to help you, want to go out of my way to help you. I let you climb right onto my back! Now, whyever would I go and do a foolish thing like that?”

___

A scorpion, not knowing how to swim, asked a frog to carry it across the river. “Do I look like a fool?” said the frog. “You’d sting me if I let you on my back!”

“Be logical,” said the scorpion. “If I stung you I’d certainly drown myself.”  

“That’s true,” the frog acknowledged. “Come aboard, then!” But no sooner had the scorpion mounted the frog’s back than it began to sting, repeatedly, while still safely on the river’s bank.

The frog groaned, thrashing weakly as the venom coursed through its veins, beginning to liquefy its flesh. “Ah,” it muttered. “For some reason I never considered this possibility.”

“Because you were never scared of me,” the scorpion whispered in its ear. “You were never scared of dying. In a past life you wore a shell and sat in judgement. And then you were reborn: soft-skinned, swift, unburdened, as new and vulnerable as a child, moving anew through a world of children. How could anyone ever be cruel, you thought, seeing the precariousness of it all?” The scorpion bowed its head and drank. “How could anyone kill you without killing themselves?”

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had some fun redrawing oli as "The Lute Player" by Frans Hals

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I personally see myself as being judged as not good queer rep, as aroace who dates, "feminine" trans, "emotionless" trope, alien/robot/outsider coded, etc.

This poll is because i am often thinking about characters that are considered bad rep, but I know people in real life are LIKE THAT and identity is messy! In my opnion bad queer rep would be the ones that are shown or touched upon on screen. Idk, just wondering.

Edit: lmao i wrote hood isntead of good and tumblr didnt let me edit

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do you guys think we have boop tomorrow

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on Planet Where Everyone Can Teleport the first person on the moon went there by accident and promptly died. The next dozen or so people also went by accident, and also died. Number 14 figured out that people who go to the moon die and very cleverly brought a sword and six weeks of travel rations. This did not help.

No one on Planet Where Everyone Can Teleport ever figured out why people die in space because they don’t need airplanes and never found it particularly interesting to climb tall mountains. Astronomers use telescopes to take pictures of the ever-growing pile of corpses on the moon.

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*Throws Cuteknight at you*

A little treat for myself ( in celebration of kdc2)

Funny little au where Scar is a prince but is SO Unmarriable, that his parents prepare a tournament for his hand in marriage and a hefty reward (it's a compensation for marrying him).

Scar, of course, doesn't wanna get married either and enters the tournament as a Hotknight to win his own hand. Grian, somehow, doesn't realise that the whole point of tournament is to marry off the prince, and joins just for the money as a Cuteknight.

The two later duel in the finale, where Scar may or may not develop a bit of a crush on Cuteknight. Grian wins, but dramatically runs off once he realises he Has to get married now.

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I'M FUCKING CRYING LMAOOO

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"First Light", Viggo Mortensen

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Oliver Baez Bendorf, “Everything All at Once”