cloudymidnights

[cloudymidnights]

[cloudymidnights]

why is everyone so nonchalant and unbothered….. what happened to real lovers I need obsession

[cloudymidnights]

Taxi Driver (1976)

[cloudymidnights]

“And this urge to run away from what I love is a sort of sadism I no longer pretend to understand.”

// Martha Gellhorn, a letter to Stanley Pennell

[cloudymidnights]

born to love forced to grieve

[cloudymidnights]

"Ur so chill" thanks i gave up

[cloudymidnights]

I don’t cry over people, I cry over the way I get treated because I don’t deserve that

[cloudymidnights]

YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO CARE!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO FEEL!!!!!! FEEL FEEL FEEL!!!! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL THINGS GOOD AND PURE FEEL SOMETHING!!!! OPEN YOUR HEART! BE VULNERABLE! BE SOFT! BE SO FULL OF LOVE AND MESSY AND CRY YOUR HEART OUT!!!!!!! LOVE AND FEEL!!! FEEL AND LOVE!!! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO CARE! IT IS OKAY TO CARE!!! TO LOVE, TO HURT, AND CRY! PLEEEEEEASE FOR THE LOVE OF THE WORLD, CARE. FEEL. LOVE. BE A MESS OF LOVE AND FEELINGS!!! WE NEED OPEN HEARTS AND KIND EYES WITH BEAMING SOULS!!!! PLEASE!!!!!

[cloudymidnights]

You will meet people who will teach you love in its safest and purest form.

[cloudymidnights]

[cloudymidnights]

I only ever want the simple and small things. A bowl of fruit. To exist comfortably. To be accepted. To be loved. To eat nice food. To laugh as much as I can.

[cloudymidnights]

Babe, uncomfortable feelings are a part of life. They will come, as they have right now. They will go, as they always have. Then they’ll come back again, but they’ll also go again. There is no ‘peak existence’ that doesn’t include emotional discomfort. So, make some space for it, watch your little show, eat a little treat— a little enjoyment can co-exist with your discomfort. Try again tomorrow.

[cloudymidnights]

i’ve decided to carry some undying hope with me every day. as a treat

[cloudymidnights]

I think it's an unrecognized practice to allow yourself to outgrow and shed versions of yourself that were more socially successful than who you want or need to be now. Not every new chapter is bigger and bolder and hotter, I think that's a very modern social media "glow up" mindset and doesn't actually have any room for what real transformation looks like. Sometimes we change exactly as we need to and it's not what anyone else was hoping for and that's part of it being important and true.

[cloudymidnights]

in another universe I don't run away from love and I think I deserve it

[cloudymidnights]

Took it personal because I would have never done it to you.

[cloudymidnights]

every august without fail is like i will give you some of the most beautiful golden summer moments of your life but also you will be thinking about childhood and loss constantly. it will always be either 5pm or 2am