clowndaddyaf

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Steve Jobs would have made a better president than Donald Trump…

But that’s comparing apples to oranges.

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IT (2019) but it’s just the shit I find funny

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John Lennon would get his ass kicked by a Bionicle

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but monsterfuckers, have you considered that humans are the real monsters

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When women want to fuck monsters:

When men want to fuck monsters:

Conclusion: men are fucking cowards.

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🎵 Two bros, chilling in the same bod, five feet apart cuz they’re not gay 🎵

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Venom (2018), trailer vs. the actual movie

(Venom 2018, the trailer)

*creepy orchestra music* *people screaming*

Venom, growling: The way I see it, Eddie… *slams Eddie into a wall* …We… *Eddie screams, eyes turn completely black* …Can do… *Unhinges his jaw and bites off someone’s head* …Whatever we want

*bone-crushing noises* *more screaming*

Some grim and serious trailer voice: We all have our own… *dramatic pause* …Demons

(Venom 2018, the movie)

Venom, yelling at Eddie from a broken bathroom mirror: Dumb little bitch, I’ve reminded you to get tater tots on our way home 15 fucking times and you still forgot? Piece of shit. Useless scum of the Earth

Eddie:

Eddie: Parasite

Venom, voice breaking: You take that back. You take that back Right Now

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This cat is DETERMINED to nap in his hammock.

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So I was looking at all of the experiments from the Lilo and Stitch show and honestly most of them look like Baby’s First DeviantArt OC from 2005, but then there’s this CANON experiment and

I’m sorry are you telling me Jumba Jookiba made Thomas the Fucking Tank Engine

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Listen, i’d absolutely fuck a consenting, self-aware monster, but I wouldn’t fuck every monster.

A werewolf, he comes to me and says “hey, you wanna go for a ride?” and I says “sure” because he’s hot.

But If Godzilla came to me and says that, no. Godzilla is a father figure. Not for fucking.

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orcs aren’t really mosters tbh. they’re demihumans. it’s barely above wanting to fuck catgirls.

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rough sex starter sentences

“Come here and get on your knees. Show me how much of me you can swallow.” “I want you to fuck me as hard as you can and I don’t want you to stop, even if I tell you to.” “We don’t need a safe word. You should handle everything I want to give you…” ”That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. We DO need a safe word.” “What was that? You don’t think you can cum again? I’m going to show you that you can.” “You wanted me to be rough, so I’m being rough, darling. Can’t you handle it?” “Look at you lying there all used… Do you think you’re ready for more?” “I don’t care whether you can take it. I will do it anyway and you’ll love it.” “Open up wide.” “Don’t you dare move. Did I tell you you could?” “Oh good, does that hurt?” “You will listen to every single word I say. If you don’t… then I’ll tie you up and I’ll leave you here desperate.” “Harder! Harder!” “Don’t stop now!” “I don’t care whether it will hurt. I just want it.” “I can’t wait to see you covered in the bruises I’ll mark you with.” “Not a sound, do you understand? You have to be absolutely quiet, or I will make you want to scream even louder.” “I would’ve prepared you for this if you’d not been begging for me to fuck you.” “You should see your face right now…” “I told you I was going to make you regret saying yes to this.” “Is that all you’ve got? That hardly hurt. Well, I guess it’s my turn now.” “You’re here for my pleasure, not the other way round. Do you understand, slave?!” “Tell me how much you want me and I’ll give you more than you can handle. That’s the game we’re playing now, honey.” “Don’t complain. I could’ve tied you up in even less comfortable positions.” “Oh, look at you. All tied up and ready to be fucked.” “What’s that? I can’t hear what you’re saying with that gag in your mouth.” “I’m not done yet! Spread your legs and lie the fuck still until I tell you to move!” “Oh this hurts, does it? I want you to beg for even more.” “Just count down with me and if you make it to zero without squirming, I’ll stop hurting you.” “This is about control and you’re definitely not going to have any.” “Show me you can follow orders and I’ll be a lot nicer, love.”

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“Pennywise” arriving at the stage 🎈♥

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If the IT fandom isn’t in denial and disappointed that Ben isn’t being played by Chris Pratt, then I hereby declare it now.

We are in denial and disappointed.

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Donny.

“it” is waiting for you

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I’m so horny for this shit

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Me whenever Pennywise does that giggle when he’s excited: