clownfuk

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Laptops are always so much more Fucked than phones in my experience. A laptop is like a beautiful horse that wants nothing more than to break all of its legs. A decently solid android phone will act normal

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Steve decided, age six, that Hopper and Joyce should get together because he overheard Joyce say that Hopper looks handsome in his uniform once.

Does Hopper care about this? No. He’s married. He tells Steve that he’s married when the kid follows him into the gas station and says that he should buy flowers for Mrs Joyce.

“Well,” Steve says (yells, he’s back by the slushie machine). “You’re not buying flowers for your wife.”

Hopper rolls his eyes, grabs one of the pathetic looking carnations by the register and says, “For my wife.”

Steve hurries and pays for his slushie so he can follow Hopper out. He follows him right up to his car where Hopper hands the flower to the woman in the passenger seat. He introduces, “Diane, Steve. Steve, Diane. My wife.”

“….ex-wife.”

“No.”

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Illustration by Sophie Lucido Johnson

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Being an adult in this recession and being like wow I am totally "splurging" on 3 new sets of cotton underwear and 3 pairs of socks like whoaaaaa hold your horses duke of the land where's all this money gonna come from

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Tony Hawk lands a 900 at age 48!

🐐🐐🐐

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they should invent a bus that never gets stuck in traffic because it's on its own path separated from the roads. and then chain multiple of them together and put it on rails. has anyone had this idea before.

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May this Eddie bring you Joy :P

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y'all it's about to get really fucking humid and hot

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From the book Organizing Solutions for People with ADHD:

Putting a coat on the back of a chair by the door is fine, but if you prefer, use coat hooks and a large catch-all basket for dropping keys, hats, gloves.

Small bookcase end-table next to the couch to store craft projects, books, and other things being worked on for easy access.

Add a storage unit near the dining room table to transition between eating and working there.

Daily toiletry items should be stored in a basket that you can move easily

Extra toiletries and medicine cabinet items go in open shelf/basket storage so they can be seen and used easily. If items no longer fit, purge the excess. Don’t obscure the view!

If you disrobe in the bathroom, place a tall hamper in there.

Keep a set of cleaning supplies in each bathroom

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My mother went behind my back and took my car to the mechanic, when I specifically told her . multiple times I Do Not Have Money To Pay Rent, Even Less To Pay for The Luxury Of A Car, I will take the car to the mechanic when I have the money for it.

Now I not only still Not have the $325 for rent, I also now owe $240 to the mechanic. :))))

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might as well call it the shitty loser peanut worm huh

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Steddie where Steve is an amazing cook, and Eddie is floored when he finds out.

Because we’re not talking about 'I can cook really well' kind of good cook, we’re talking about 'name any dish you want me to make and it will be the best thing you' ve ever tasted in your life" kind of good cook.

And Eddie, who’s spent most of his life eating the same dozen basic dishes his uncle knows how to make is, suddenly, being treated to the best fucking meals.

“How the hell do you know how to cook like this?” he asks one night, watching, mesmerized, as Steve plates the most beautiful ravioli (made from scratch!) Eddie has ever seen.

“My parents are always travelling and there’s so much pizza a person can eat, so I went to the library and got some recipe books. Turns out cooking also helps calm my mind so…”

Eddie hates how Steve tends to underestimate his own accomplishments, but that is a conversation for later.

“You’re amazing,” he says instead.

Steve smiles shyly for a moment, before handing Eddie a plate.

“Alright, alright. Now dig in.”

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cats are really good at looking at things. very useful

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Guys, let's make a sandwich. I'll start:

Bread

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I love that I share my house with one of the most efficient apex predators millions of years of evolution could produce. I love that two of nature’s most prolific machines met and were like “hmmm. We should lay around and do nothing together”. Now we’re both fat and happy and full of meat. The hedonism of it all