clueless-spector

[clueless-spector]

Hi I likely won't be active for a short while. My cat has passed away and I don't think I'll be able to post any fanart or fanfics soon. Maybe. I might end up being more productive to cope with his passing I'm not sure yet. See ya later.

[clueless-spector]

Working on a little fan comic. Here's a snippet:

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[clueless-spector]

Blog bio :D

Spector, They/Them, 20

Posts are all SFW in terms of sexual content, not my kind of thing to post.

AO3: Clueless_Spector (Main), Allay_Pastel (Minecraft originated account)

I'll likely co-post any fics I write. Do not use my writing or art to feed the AI machines nor repost them anywhere :). I will kick your head straight off. (Reblogs are fine; I am also still figuring out how to reblog others as well :D).

Fandoms (currently): I Am Your Beast, El Paso Elsewhere

Asks: Feel free to suggest sketch ideas or ask questions associated with the fandoms above :))) or any AUs I create.

AUs:

:) (WIP)

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the thrilling sequel to the alphonse convention

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Basically what happens right–

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Was thinking about Byron depressed about potentially not seeing his daughter again :'). Being forced to hunt down a rogue agent he knows could easily kill him when he should be at home with his family is definitely terrifying and sad. I wish we had more lore on him and his family.

[One Page Version/ Some Byron Head Canons Below]

Byron and his family head canons:

- Byron has very good vision (despite the glasses) and is proficient with a sniper/ranged weapons. Also has prescription lenses in his COI issued goggles

- Byron and his wife plan on divorcing and are platonically together for their daughter. They grew apart due to Byron's time away and it's mutual between them

- Byron was planning on leaving the COI to get a more stable job to gain shared custody of his daughter when him and his wife separate. He was blackmailed/threatened into joining the hunt to pressure Alphonse back to work

- Byron joined the COI for the money to support him and his family. Maybe him and his wife had their daughter late in their teens and he fell for the typical American military "hey we'll pay for your college, medical bills, etc. Just join us :))) trust you won't come out fucked up :))))) we pay for therapy!"

Byron is bisexual; ✨By-sexual✨

The "okay babe" is something he would say to his wife when she did something incredulous, and it became this inside joke between them. Byron slips up and uses it on Alphonse and is surprised by his own words. Afterwards he reevaluates his feelings 🏳️‍🌈

Byron is a competent COI agent. Not the same level as Alphonse but definitely more skilled and wiser than the good majority of the agents sent out to remove Alphonse. (I think the newer/rookie agents are the first platoons sent out in the beginning levels because the more experienced agents are all out on missions/leave, than they are brought in and taken out anyway, and Burkin gets desperate and just brings in anyone regardless of training as shown in support group lol).

Byron was part of the scouting parties in the beginning, discovering the massacred camps before getting assigned to his chopper. While not flying lethal, the chopper is used to transport equipment and agents to the forest.

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Fanart for @iwantofall 's AI Byron AU :))))) pls check it out it's so cute

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I just lost a few hundred words because I forgot to save my draft before switching to a different app and chrome decided to reload the AO3 page :'). Never writing on my phone again after this smh. I just want to write a headcanon of Alphonse's origin story gosh damn

[clueless-spector]

The Feeding & The Fed (tw!injury/implied abuse)

(pls click for better quality) I fucking love El Paso Elsewhere. James and Draculae's relationship is haunting. I got chills listening and watching their story play out.

Bit more semi-realistic than I'm used to drawing but I think this Fanart turned out okay. I'm trying out texturing with the screen tones and it's pretty fun :).

Large review/reflection and game spoilers below (tw!abuse):

This game was dark AF and I loved it :)));

I really enjoyed the game mechanics. The rolling and diving was great! The guns were pretty sick–the reload with the double pistols had me grinning–the combat really makes ya feel invincible. Monster design was great; the angels had the coolest design, the brides and puppets were the most annoying and challenging for me, and the werewolves are jumpscare kings, and the vampires are vampires and their ambience groaning freaked me out occasionally.

As I'm writing this I've only been halfway through the game (which in total took me 6 hours and I only got to like chapter 25 before looking it up and saw there's 50 CHAPTERS GOSH DAMN) and watched somebody play the rest of the game which I regret doing because I should've just continued my blind playthrough. I will continue the game when I have the time to, and probably restart it from beginning to end.

The music was great! I very much enjoyed Ghostin' the Mainframe; there's a lil portion of it in I Am Your Beast so I felt like I had some kind of reference for what it was but noooooope! It's quite different from what I usually listen to but it grew on me quickly.

In the game, the way they depicted abuse was so detailed and well written;

From the outright story telling and pacing it seems like the two just have bitter exes vibes and then it turns out, oh shit, it's abusive bitter ex and bitter survivor of said abuse.

The subtext and outright explicit meanings lying between lyrics and memory projectors is incredibly well done and made me feel sick. Especially the Gonna Cut and In The Hole tracks–there's a ton to unpack there holy fuck, very heavy themes of depression and trauma–and the memory of James begging Draculae to stop breaking dishes and the memory located in the locker room–which is just another layer of "OH NO WTF NO WHY" and confirmed a sickening suspicion I had and wish I didn't have.

The part when James reveals what Draculae has done and why he left was fucking devastating. This is where it truly sets in what their relationship is/was like, and feels like a turning point in the game.

I don't usually cry playing games but I felt genuinely upset for James. It hurt a lot. I can relate to him in some ways and feel a lot of empathy for him. He's very well written and his story is dark and he's totally a character I'd like to give a big hug to.

James and Draculae's interactions together in the elevator:

James balances on the line between nostalgic affection and wanting to belong/be loved although twisted, and the shame and fear of what Draculae has done to him. James sounds casual in a few of those moments, but it's more of a "appease the monster" fawn reaction and a small attempt to act like it's the good times. Like nothing is wrong.

Draculae omits herself of any blame for her actions and deflects. It's really fucked up hearing her sound so casual–although it's a nice touch, the kind of monster she is don't typically sound like monsters. While she does seem to be somewhat regretful and hesitant towards hurting James in the elevator, she's still avoidant in these moments and in the end still full of hatred and refusing to change in any progressive way decides to work towards having it just handed to her via the ritual.

The pacing of these memories and James being sure this is what he has to do to keep the world ending:

The mix of nostalgic happy memories and James being stone faced is such a hook, you just want to know how their relationship went from this to now. And then those memories start up, being intertwined with the happy memories and it becomes apparent how conflicted and hurt James is.

The ever realization of "oh fuck I am actually going to do this, killing someone I loved and gave my soul too, and wished loved me back. But she changed and truly hurt me horrifically and we can never go back to the good days, and now I must end this for good. Fuck." In a way James is going through all the stages of grief trying to come to terms with his trauma, his ability to change for better or worst, and his decision to stop Draculae.

Overall, a great game, definitely made it to my top favorites :). I may or may not make a fanfic of this game but I'm afraid it would come off waaaay too depressing; maybe a story of James post-game trying to heal from his trauma and addiction.

[clueless-spector]

Teaching myself animation, ya know what that means :D I am your beast animatics :))). I would really like to animate one to TYRANTS BETTER RUN. I have the same daydream whenever I listen to it so I can picture exactly what I want to draw for each line. It would be fun to animate the cutscenes as well :)

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R.I.P Alan

A short clip of this banter is what got me to buy and play the game :).

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Alphonse & Byron :D + quick sketches of Burkin & the support group agents (click for better quality I'm still trying to figure resolution stuff out :'D)

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Some rough drafts :).

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Workskin for AO3 :)))

Working on a few fics for I Am Your Beast, and decided to make a color text for the dialogue :)

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Rating all the songs from I Am Your Beast :). All of them are amazing

S Tier:

- Home/) This feels like it just defines all the emotions this game gives me, it goes so hard (lol), I love it so much. Instantly puts me in a good mood

- Dear Diary) Makes me emotional af, with it being the credit music. It's so good. I'd also like to animate this song too.

- /Wrecker) Literally so good and the emotional connection to it from the story makes it even better, it feels like a fight/struggle in itself with a hint of resignation at the end, that this is the end of a relationship.

- TYRANTS BETTER RUN) "THERE'S A BEAST INSIDE OF ME" Absolute. Masterpiece. Killing agents left n right with this playing is amazing and so fitting. I will animate this song one day I swear.

- JUICER) Feels like I drank 400mg of caffeine.

- RABBIT SEASON) first impression of the game's music for the levels and it doesn't disappoint. I love it so much, it's almost a shame the level is so short and it's so easy to miss out on this song at first. Like listening to it on Spotify n getting to the parts I didn't hear was a pleasant surprise.

- Ever Hear About The Guy You Shouldn't Have Fucked With?) I love this one. Especially the development I'm like okay this is good and then it just keeps getting better

- WOLF BARK) So good I die half the time in the level due to aggressive head bopping.

A Tier:

-Taiga Strike) I really like the variety of directions this song goes and its build up is wonderful.

- SCREEN TIME) I love the fast paced nature of it

- Complaint-Orientated Policing) Fits so well with the level, sprinting to escape and then getting the blown the fuck up and trying to kill agents on the way. I love the variety and development

- BEARTRAP PARTY) I love launching bear traps at agents when this plays, it's great! :D I love the variety and it's development as well

- I Am at Peace / NO LONGER) Best opening music ever, it's fantastic. The beats tapping on my eardrum is delicious

- NEST) Starts out so peaceful and then BLAMO! It hits you with one of these greatest beats :)

B Tier:

- Still Human) A really good cutscene song I love how peaceful and reflective it is

Scope Creep) The build up is so fucking good

- NEGATIVE TIME) Lots of variety all up in my ears

- FORWARD OPERATING BASS) I like the development :) it's has some great parts that are butter in my ear

- Signal Lost) I like the variety

- ANEMIA) Very tense and fitting for its level, the intense urgency to survive contrasted with the hope to live is perfect.

C Tier:

- WETWORK) I love how it evolves

Orchid Fields) Beat goes pretty hard

- PIPEDREAM) I like the sound bite and the sound just keeps evolving it hurts my ears

- BOMBCARPET) Quite tense

- S.O.S) Love the use of Morse code

- FOGGY LENSES) Very tense and fits perfect for the level

- A Friend in High Places) I love the "Hiiiiiii" and the Morse code thingy, my favorite cutscene song

- Can't Teach a New Dog Old Tricks) Another good cutscene song

- NO SOLICITORS) Beat goes pretty hard

- ONE NOTE) Intense

- Okay Babe) Love it in the cut scene

- The Stars are Black and Cold) Very emotional, I will cry

D Tier:

Pattern of Misdeeds, A Cat Amongst Pigeons, Not Even The Devil Himself, MONKEY PAWS TRIGGER FINGER, Just Normal Men Just Innocent Men, RESIGNATION

E Tier: From Somewhere a Transmission, I Am Your Beast, (Twigsnap), Oh., Try Again

No F tier cause they're all great