clutchmelon
clutchmelon
Live in New York, it's Thursday afternoon
88 posts
“I'm actually not sick, I'm twisted. 'Sick' implies there's a cure.” [ about ]
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clutchmelon · 1 month ago
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Vineposting for a sec but I saw Vinny's stream notif (all it read was "sigh") and Instantly, in my heart, before I opened Twitch, knew Umamusume was on the docket. What else would he be willing to play begrudgingly in this day and age
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clutchmelon · 1 month ago
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nl's notes app
guy who thinks han solo is chinese
guy who doordashes teppanyaki
guy who doesn't feel safe when his teppanyaki chef is a woman
when your only hellofresh meal left is teppanyaki
guy who thinks teppanyaki is the mandalorian's real name
guy who is nervous because he thinks teppanyaki is korean bbq and he doesn't know how to flip a shrimp into his own pocket
guy on first date who gets intimidated because his teppanyaki chef is so good
girl on a first date who leaves the guy to be with the teppanyaki chef
guy who thinks benihana is obi-wan kenobi's real name
homophobic guy who keeps insisting c3po and r2d2 are just friends
guy who thinks r2d2 is rjd2 and keeps telling people he loves their music
guy who listens to r2d2 music
guy who always describes it as a south korean restaurant
guy who calls the show: the walking unalived
we need a new french stewart
guy who insists he feels more comfortable with female teppanyaki chef
half korean guy named tommy lee-jones
recovering addict who only drinks non-alcoholic purell
22nd century amish community that still codes apps by hand
furry who gets offended by the term mocktail
booze cruise where you have to peddle to power the boat
ancient roman tiktok where some fine shit in a toga is throwing ass while the captions explain why nero is a bad emperor
memento mori at the buffet that reminds you: one day you'll be hungry again
juggling must be easy as fuck because i've never seen them drop a ball
sperm bank architects goated for designing buildings that can carry so much load
defaulting on my mortgage at the sperm bank so they repossess my cum
honestly i'm not convinced the depression was that great
ribbed trojan horse
a trojan horse that says magnum on the outside but when they open it up it's just an average number of soldiers inside
tom waits probably hates rush
guy who pretended he was enlightened after taking ayahuasca but was actually tormented by an hours long vision of his parents having sex
sorting hat from the american remake of harry potter having the university of georgia bulldogs logo on it
men's rights indian restaurant that serves papasmart and rogan joe
caveman podcast be like "todays episode is brought to you blueberries" (transcribers note: stolen tumblr post??)
they fucked up when they called those things watches
guy who learned how to talk dirty on duolingo
millennial missionaries who leave a copy of harry potter and the philosophers stone in every hotel room
abraham lincoln with a sleeve tattoo
guy who turned democrat after he found out abraham lincoln was a republican
joker fan who still listens to his early stand up
guy with a canadian food fetish be like yeah i love poutine. poutine my penis in the fries.
bluey must be confused as fuck when someone asks her if she's ready
antiwoke youtuber making a video essay enraged because disney made the new mulan chinese
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clutchmelon · 1 month ago
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Probably the funniest YouTube comment I've ever read that most people wouldn't understand
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clutchmelon · 2 months ago
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happy father's day!
(source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLNhzqQ3wg8)
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clutchmelon · 3 months ago
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ludwigahgren: 🇺🇸🤝🇨🇦
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clutchmelon · 3 months ago
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clutchmelon · 6 months ago
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The lads were playing the latest CIV game earlier and Rob stated that he'll be back (to streaming) after he's done working on his story. Which won't be soon, but it's confirmed!!
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clutchmelon · 6 months ago
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love how he, on the spot, drops the most poetic well-crafted threats over mario party
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clutchmelon · 8 months ago
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Does anyone have that clip of NL saying "I'm mentally ill, I'm seeing patterns that don't exist" I need it for my reactions folder
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clutchmelon · 9 months ago
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I'M TAKING BIG DONUT
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clutchmelon · 9 months ago
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clutchmelon · 10 months ago
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clutchmelon · 11 months ago
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clutchmelon · 1 year ago
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get it twisted
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clutchmelon · 1 year ago
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Northernlion Quotes
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clutchmelon · 1 year ago
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clutchmelon · 1 year ago
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