when my thoughts take off may i breathe deep; lord, hold me strong when old loss comes to meet me
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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   itâs become something of a habit for emery to walk up to the first floor of the apartment building and take the elevator from there to get up to his own floor. if asked, he might have said itâs simply for a little bit of exercise--a lame excuse considering the amount of walking he does around the city, but at least heâs never had to use it. the real reason is that he always hears piano music coming out of one of the apartments, and not just any piano music, either. itâs always classical pieces, and although thereâs quite a lot of debussy emery usually hears drifting under the door, he knows heâs heard beethoven one or two times and it makes him feel inexplicably connected to the tenant even though heâs never even seen who lives there. until, of course, the day finally comes when the door opens as heâs passing by, and itâs not at all what emery had expected; itâs a boy, for one thing, and heâs cute enough that emery feels an instant blush light up his face. he could make a run for it, but for once in his life he doesnât. âhi!â he practically yells instead, a little too loudly and with much too much force for a simple greeting. âsorry, i was just--i w-was listening to your...â he breaks off, takes a breath, and continues hurriedly, âthe piano, you play a lot? you must really like debussy, beethovenâs my favorite and lizst is a close second but debussy is definitely up there in my top five.â a ringing silence follows his messy declarations and the warmth in his cheeks deepens. he wants suddenly to sink right into the floor. âsorry, i-i just...like classical piano a lot. um--iâm emery. i live on the f-f-fifth floor.â // @immcterial
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arielfranzeseâ:
Ariel had always been a bit of a messy drunk, which was unfortunate. As her mother often said, she was too pretty to be so sloppy, falling all over the place and embarrassing herself, but that had never stopped her in the past and certainly hadnât stopped her from having a few drinks this evening. She hadnât meant to bring someone else into her mess, though, and immediately felt bad for bumping into the other. âIâm so sorry,â She leaned back against the wall behind her to steady herself, a little smile on her lips now. âIt totally, totally was my fault.â Ari reached up, brushing some hair back from her face as she looked the other over in an attempt to find any injury she may have caused. âIâll be fine, Iâm just - going upstairs to my apartment, but that isnât going as planned, obviously.â
   emery shakes his head fervently, desperate to convey the utter lack of blame he places on her. maybe he doesnât get drunk often, but he certainly knows what itâs like to have reduced control over your faculties. âit really wasnât,â he insists, and adds with a smile, âbut if youâre adamant about shouldering the responsibility at least know you donât have to apologize. it happens to the best of us. iâm just glad it was me you bumped into instead of something that could have hurt you.â he blushes a little when the womanâs gaze drops to take in his appearance, awkwardly crossing his arms over his chest. âi could help you up the stairs if you want?â he suggests, holding out an elbow in the universal gesture. âyour hair looks very nice--it would be a shame to ruin it with another accident.â
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   as somebody who canât even fathom asking the mailman to move from in front of his own mailbox, it rather annoys emery when the woman is so blatantly ignored. if she has the courage to ask for what she needs, he reasons, she should certainly get it. heâs a little startled to be addressed by her personally but he quickly musters up a polite--if over-bright--smile. âoh--sure! yeah, no problem.â he reaches out for the keys and, locating the right mailbox, squeezes himself without too much difficulty between it and the mail carrierâs cart. grabbing everything inside, he locks it back up before shimmying out again and handing over the key and the contents. âmy brother wouldâve been proud oft hat maneuver,â he jokes lightly, âheâs a dancer--iâm usually the ungraceful one. glad i could help, though.â
â sorry excuse me, could i- â one of the things that aja disliked about living in the apartments was getting the mail when the mailman came. and yet somehow she always timed it so that he was there whenever she did. he always put his cart right in front of the boxes so that she couldnât access her apartments mailbox, and refused to move whenever she asked. spotting someone else getting their own mail, closer to the boxes than she could possibly get at that current moment, she thought it wouldnât hurt to ask if they could give her a hand. â hey, excuse me. if i give you the key to my box, could you get my mail for me? itâs apartment 3a. â she asked politely, holding out her key with a small smile.
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   ever hyperaware of his surroundings, emery does try to move out of the way of the woman walking tipsily toward the apartment buildingâs stairs only to be knocked into anyway, glasses falling askew. it happens a lot that people run into him, partly he supposes because of his slight frame, but mostly because itâs so habitual for him to shrink out of the way of other people, as if some part of him is convinced heâd be better off disappearing altogether. âitâs no problem!â he assures her hastily, feeling the color on his cheeks and detesting how easily he blushes over nothing. âit wasnât your fault.â a ridiculous thing to say--it clearly wasnât his fault--but he hates the idea of someone thinking he blames them for something. âiâm fine, no worries. are you okay? do you need help getting somewhere?â
Ariel had just gotten in from an interview. Sheâd gotten to talk to the singer of some punk band, not necessarily a genre she was into, but it was part of her work to interview these kids who were just arriving on the scene. Besides, sheâd gotten two free drinks out of it so she couldnât complain. After arriving back to the apartment building, sheâd parked her bike and pulled her helmet off, running her fingers through her hair to try and fix it a little bit - helmet hair wasnât flattering, after all. Once she was somewhat happy with her appearance, Ariel grabbed her backpack from the back of the motorcycle and slung it over her shoulder before heading into the building. She wasnât paying much attention, simply due to being a bit tipsy and spaced out, and accidentally bumped into someone on her way to the stairs. âShit - sorry, that was my bad. Are you alright?â
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immcterialâ:
winnie works hard every performance, of course, but he tries especially hard to be absolutely perfect the times he knows he has someone in the audience watching him. itâs probably way more pressure than he should be putting on his already rumination-prone plate but he reasons it cannot be helped. the people who matter to him enough to land themselves a free ticket deserve to see him at his very best. no matter how many times emery comes, winnie feels the same way. he may not have the lead, but itâs still a position and one he holds proudly. he knows emâs eyes will be on him more often than not. winded but pleased with his performance, winnie tosses on his warm up gear and, without bothering to rid himself of his stage makeup, he traipses out to the lobby to greet his twin. he sags a little into the hug, smile radiant, but tired. âyeah?â he hums into his brotherâs shoulder, nuzzling into the embrace for a long breath before retracting so he can properly hold onto his flowers. âyouâre too sweet to say so. if i were the best though, iâd be landing principal roles left and right but iâll get there, someday.â he heard somewhere you can speak things into existence with the right kind of positive attitude. ânow these,â he nods down at the flowers, bringing them up to his nose with a giggle, âthese are definitely the best. you outdid yourself, emmy.â
   pushing his glasses back up his nose where the hug had knocked them askew, emery beams at the way winnie holds the bouquet up to his nose, glad heâd elected to spend the money on getting roses this time. he doesnât make much, but thanks to winnie he doesnât have to pay rent on what heâs sure is a decently expensive apartment, and he firmly believes his twin is worth it regardless. âyou deserve it,â he assures winnie, cheeks flushed with pleasure. âyou are the best, though. they probably just donât wanna give the roles to someone so young. youâll get it the next show, i bet!â and he truly does believe it, the same way heâd genuinely believed winnie would get it this time. in emeryâs mind, thereâs nobody in the world better at anything than his winnie. âdid you want to go out and do something before we head homeâŠ?â the sentence trails off ambiguously and emery knows winnie will see past the enthusiasm he tries his best to inject into the question, but it doesnât stop him from trying. he wants to go homeâbeing out all day zaps him of energyâbut winnieâs just finished a spectacular performance and emery would accompany him to the ends of the earth if thatâs what he wanted to do right now.
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ofnicoleâ:
    both legs are tucked beneath her, one knee jutting out enough to give ample space for lady to rest her head against nicoleâs thigh. sharing a bottle of wine with one of her best friends, unwinding with an adorably affectionate pooch snuggled up with them â itâs exactly the type of evening sheâs needed. however, as they start drifting from the normal talk of cute household animals to the more exotic choices, she almost spits out the sip of wine taken after the refill. fortunately, she manages to swallow without an external fuss before shooting emery a look thatâs both a combination of disgust and amusement. â ewâ em. no. iâve never seen one in real life and i never want to. i can deal with reptiles, but bugsâ spiders? iâd rather experience a britney spears-esque midlife crisis and shave my head. â with the bridge of her nose scrunched up, nicole gives a shake of her head before returning her attention to lady whoâs comfortably nestled between the two of them, free hand gently massaging behind the dogâs ears. â snakes are ⊠okay. i donât know if i could live with one, though, so no offence but iâd side with winnie on that one. why donât you get a turtle? theyâre kindaâ cute in like .. an old, fragile man way. â
   emery rolls his eyes at nicoleâs violently oppositional reaction but an affectionate smile lightens the gesture. âyou only think theyâre gross because youâve been conditioned to think itâs creepy to have a lot of legs. tarantulas are actually really nice, and if you have one as a pet and hold it a lot itâll start being friendly towards you. i mean, thatâs what iâve read, anyway.â free hand dropping to scratch the wiry hairs on ladyâs flank, he lets out an uninhibited laugh at the comparison to an old man that nicole makes--itâs a sound most people donât get to hear, because even if he does laugh in public emeryâs habit is to stifle it so as not to draw attention to himself. âtheyâre very cute and iâd love to have a turtle, but iâd want a tarantula or a snake more. maybe you and win should live together and iâll get my own apartment and fill it with as many bugs and reptiles and rodents and exotic wildlife as i can fit! one day when iâm rich enough iâm gonna buy a whole zoo.â
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  facing a building like the the david h koch theater by himself is something that would ordinarily be so far out of emeryâs comfort zone as to be laughable. due entirely to the fact that winnie had initially showed him how to get here and exactly where to go, howeverâand thanks to the amount of times heâs now done it, not to mention the number of performances heâs attendedâemery feels almost relaxed standing in the lobby while he waits for winnie to come out of the dressing rooms. some of the employees have even begun to recognize him ( although emery suspects they might think heâs his brother ) and the friendly smiles make a world of difference. itâs the third time heâs seen hallelujah junction already but when winnie appears in the lobby, emery shoves an enormous bouquet of roses into his hands like itâs the first time. âyou were so good, win!â he exclaims, engulfing the other in a hug and crushing the flowers between them. itâs genuine, but thereâs some part of him thatâs perhaps trying to make up for the fact that the rest of their family isnât here. âi know iâm probably biased but i really think youâre the best one up there.â // @immcterial
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THE REDD TWINS â A FAMILY SNAPSHOT ( @immcterialâ )
you were born together, and together you shall be forevermore but let there be spaces in your togetherness. and let the winds of heaven dance between you â Â Kahlil Gibran
Daniel Redd (51) - FC: Pierce Brosnan - A sports writer for a local magazine, some might say the Redd patriarch is a perfect example of a man who couldnât do what he wanted and resigned himself instead to writing about it. Heâs a football fanatic at heart and with no other interests that come close to rivaling his passion for sports, Daniel Redd spent very little time connecting with his two eldest children as soon as it became clear neither were going to measure up to the much more masculine dream-son heâd always wanted. That, of course, appeared in the form of Logan, the child who came a few years after the twins. A man who never emerged from the old school ideologies of his generation, he spends almost no time at all trying to have a relationship with the twins now that theyâve moved away, preferring to focus on cultivating the one he has with his chosen favorite.
Victoria Marie Redd (46) - FC: Heather Graham - Victoria Marie was a ballerina from the time she was old enough to stand on her own two feet. Although she excelled at the career in Australia, however, she failed to find work when she came to New York at nineteen and ended up returning home to settle for the small-time, eventually teaching ballet instead of doing it herself. It was this perceived failure that drove her to push her son, Winnie, to live up to the dreams she never achieved when it became clear he had the talent. In this way she often managed to neglect her other two children: Emery, the twin whose intellect never interested her, and Logan, whose athletic abilities were more suited to please her husbandâs football fanaticism. It was she who encouraged them to go to New York so that Winnie could do what sheâd never done, and she could live vicariously through him.
Edwin âWinnieâ Redd (21) - FC: Troye Sivan - A true ballet prodigy, Winnieâs outstanding talent in the world of dance captured his motherâs focus the first time she enrolled him and Emery into a class at the age of four. While Emery showed a lack of interest in pursuing his motherâs passion, Winnie fell in love instantly and it became clear within just a few short years that with time and effort, he could fill the shoes his mother so desperately wanted for herself. And while he did indeed continue to improve and stun each one of his teachers with his natural affinity for the dance ( even learning pointe where male dancers did not, as a rule, do as such ), the pressure from his mother and eventually from himself turned into a warped sense of self thatâs grown into a sizable demon all these years later. It seems to have paid off, though: at twenty-one, he has a spot in the corps of the New York City Ballet and shows great promise of making principal. And though it takes up most of his time and a good majority of his life in general, heâs never lost his love for keeping close friends and making time for his twin, for whom he still feels a sense of responsibility even in their early twenties.
Emery Redd (21) - FC: Troye Sivan - The child who never found a point of connection with either parent, Emery is less a black sheep of the Redd family than an afterthought. Too meek and mild to have impressed his father and with passions that lie outside of his motherâs realm of interest, he spent his childhood exceedingly lonely save for the attention he never failed to receive from his twin. It wasnât just his affinity for biology that failed to impress his parents, thoughâboth an undiagnosed anxiety disorder and a stutter ravaged his early years and left him feeling isolated from both parents and most of his peers. To make matters even more difficult, it was in high school that Emery first allowed himself to explore the terrifying idea that he wasnât entirely comfortable in his assigned gender at birth, which eventually led him to his identification as a demiboy. Through all of this, he still managed to continue pursuing his passion for science and animals and working tirelessly to beat his stutter, which he has all but done now in his young adult years. A scholarship to NYU bolstered his confidence and allowed him to enjoy his chosen career path without needing acceptance from anyone but himselfâand his beloved twin.
Logan Redd (19) - FC: Neels Visser / flexible - The youngest of the Redd children, Logan was the apple of their fatherâs eye as soon as he was born. Where the twins had never been able to satisfy Danielâs obsessive love for sports, Logan showed promise the moment he was put in an Australian Little League uniform and given a baseball bat. As he got older, he showed about as much interest in his older siblings as his father did, creating a rift between them that only solidified in high school and remains to this day.
Galadriel âLadyâ Redd (2) - FC: Nash - Named after one of Emeryâs favorite characters from Lord of the Rings, Lady was adopted by the anxiety-riddled twin after having promised Winnie he would be able to take care of a pet. And he has: the bond Emeryâs formed with Lady is one of the most grounding things in his life and, only a year after first meeting each other, he canât imagine his life without her warm, sturdy presence by his side. It helps that she seems to have her own anxiety disorder as wellâthe two-year-old dog is extremely shy around strangers unless Emery is there to facilitate the meeting.
#; headcanons.#; ft winnie.#; ft logan.#; ft lady.#ill write more abt his dog than his little brother if i want to !!#why is celia so good at making graphics im tired#also if anyone wanted to play logan...............#finger guns
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   perhaps the only time ever that emery manages to forget his surroundings ( namely other people ) is when heâs playing piano, reading, or when heâs spotted a bird he doesnât think heâs ever seen before. right now itâs the latter; standing in front of the apartment building with his phone out, his focus is on trying to get a picture of what he believes to be an indigo bunting--unlikely, maybe, but it is spring, and thatâs the only time to see immigrant birds. before he can get the picture, however, he walks backwards into somebody and stumbles, nearly dropping his phone in the process and just barely managing to regain his grip in time--he does drop his book, though. âsorry!â heâs quick to say, turning anxiously around and going instantly red when he sees who it is. of course. âoh, sterling, hi, sorry, i--â he breaks off from his rambling, looking back to the tree where heâd seen the bird only to have his heart sink when itâs gone. âi thought i saw something. sorry for--for running into you.â picking his book up from the sidewalk, he lets out a soft sigh seeing that half the pages had been bent in half. âi wish this would teach me to use my bag, but i know it wonât.â ( @stcrlingdavis )
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   with a couple glasses of wine in him and buoyed by the safety of being in his own apartment, emery is as relaxed as heâs ever been. it helps that his company is one of his best friends in the world besides winnie himself, too. and to complete the feeling of serenity, lady has her backside firmly pressed against emery and her head lying complacently on nicâs thigh. âthis guy today,â he tells her, carefully pouring more pinot into each of their glasses without dislodging lady, âbrought a corn snake into the clinic. she was so sweet, i wish people brought snakes in more often. winnie would lose it if i got a pet snake, i bet.â he pouts, sighs, and takes a sip. âhave you ever seen a tarantula in real life?â ( @ofnicole )
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   emery doesnât mind when people quite often wind up unloading their daily troubles on him--itâs easy to do, he supposes, when he himself doesnât talk much, leaving plenty of silence to fill. he enjoys hearing others talk, quietly fascinated by all the different lives of the people he knows in this enormous city and glad to be a sounding board for them--especially if it means less talking himself. âare you sure he didnât care?â emery teases lightly, âyou did say you donât work there anymore, right?â the idea doesnât offend him morally so much as it astounds him people are able to go about their daily lives that way; emery himself has only gotten high a couple times in his life, and he knows with utter certainty heâd never be able to handle it while he was working. âthink of it this way: if youâre sober youâll probably do a better job, and i bet youâll make more tips that way!â
âUnderstaffed shift, shit tipsâŠI fucking hate working as a server. This new job sucks. I mean, at least at my last restaurant the dude who owned the place didnât care if I showed up high and let us drink during happy hour. Whatâs with these uptight managers? The fuck? At least I got a job to barely afford alcohol.â Jacob turned from the person he was talking to and picked up a bottle of vodka from the shelf in the store.Â
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( troye sivan. 21. demiboy. he/they. ) â emery redd, a pisces from queensland, australia, moved into holloway three years ago. they are a med school student/intern at a vet clinic that lives in apartment 5d and their neighbors donât particularly mind them. some say they can be passive and insecure but others say theyâre intelligent and soft-hearted. anyways, one thing is for sure: you hear catastrophize by noah kahan, itâs emery blasting it.
hello friends! iâm nev ( she/her ) n iâm so excited to meet all ur characters n plot with you !! iâm bringing u a tiny soft anxious nerdy baby about whom you can read a bit below ( itâs likeâŠâŠâŠ.half bio half intro idk rly just bear w me im tired !! ) anyway smash a like and iâll come @ u or hmu in my dms xo
trigger warnings for: anxiety disorder, homophobia
emery was born in the gold coast in australia with a twin brother ( winnie ) and a younger brother, both of whom managed to capture their parentsâ attention more successfully than emery ever did. with winnie being a phenomenal dancer and following in their momâs footsteps and their younger brother being the more masculine son their father had hoped for, emery grew up feeling distanced from his family and not especially importantâsave of course for winnie, who always went out of his way to make sure emery never felt neglected. because of thisâand because of a moderate-to-severe anxiety disorder as well as burgeoning gender confusionâwinnie became from a very young age emeryâs life support. as children, you would never find emery anywhere that winnie was not, and when winnie was at his dance classes, emery was typically at home, either reading his animal biology books or practicing piano ( for which he had an incredible affinity, but in which neither of his parents took much interest )
heâs been obsessed with animals since he was little, used to get in trouble with his parents for bringing in birds and things from outside to try and keep them as pets, and even kept a sketchbook with him for a long time where he would draw birds he saw and then catalogue them later
when he and winnie moved to new york he immediately got a dog, whose fc is troyeâs actual dog yuergiuhjsa and is emeryâs best friend in the world he loves her so much. her name is galadriel from lotr but he calls her lady
when he was very young, emery had a stutter as wellâheâs mostly grown out of it through a combination of aging and speech therapy, but heâll still talk a little slower out of anticipation of messing up, and because the anxiety still exists to a large degree, he doesnât talk a lot in general. so when he does, itâs something he very much wants to say, and heâs painstaking about trying to articulate things clearly
because he was unable to explore his gender confusion at home for fear of alienating his parents further, it was only once he and winnie moved out together that he began experimenting and learning to be more himself. youâll typically find him in soft, oversized sweaters and a pair of jeans, and although he generally refers to himself using he/him pronouns, heâs pretty flexible
heâs a little nerdy, wears glasses most of the time unless he feels like putting in his contacts, and aside from his bird drawing and fascination with animals he spends a lot of time transcribing piano music as a hobby
he finished his undergraduate degree at nyu early and is now in his first year of med school to become a vet. heâs an intern at a vet clinic but makes very little money doing it
he got broken up with about a month ago by a bf who was cheating on him with winnie but em doesnât knowâŠâŠâŠthatâs the case. so heâs still very sore about that bc it was his first bf and heâs heartbroken !!!
all in all, em is a very soft, anxious little baby with a warm heart and a great yearning to start living life in a way his anxieties have always kept him from doing
connection ideas
a close-knit group of friends, people emery can be himself around and shed a little bit of his crippling shyness
maybe?? some?? people who are not particularly nice to him?? idk bc heâs rly quiet and weak looking heâd be easy to pick on euyrafghdjs i just want angst ok
the bf! who cheated on him w winnie! iâll make this a wc if no one takes it up âïž
probably a boy he has a lowkey new crush on but will absolutely NOT SAY ANYTHING EVER and just admire from afar and barely be able to talk to him tbh
alternatively someone who has a crush on em but he literally has no idea
would love to have the kind of thing where?? em was friends w someone when he first moved here 3 years ago but they sort of drifted away from him eventually bc heâs literally so shy and impossible to get to go out
AND in that same vein somebody he didnât get along w originally but has become rly close to these days for whatever reason !!
somebody whoâs rly protective over him
hookups of winnieâs that emâs rly awkward w when theyâre over at the apartment
somebody or somebodies who have mistaken em for winnie and tried to make a pass only to realize!! theyâve got the wrong twin
um anything angsty ok hmu to plot w any other!!! ideas!!!!!!
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when i make an important phonecall

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