cmerys-blog
cmerys-blog
đ’č𝑜𝓃'𝓉 đ“…đ’¶đ“ƒđ’Ÿđ’ž.
16 posts
when my thoughts take off may i breathe deep; lord, hold me strong when old loss comes to meet me
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cmerys-blog · 6 years ago
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     it’s become something of a habit for emery to walk up to the first floor of the apartment building and take the elevator from there to get up to his own floor. if asked, he might have said it’s simply for a little bit of exercise--a lame excuse considering the amount of walking he does around the city, but at least he’s never had to use it. the real reason is that he always hears piano music coming out of one of the apartments, and not just any piano music, either. it’s always classical pieces, and although there’s quite a lot of debussy emery usually hears drifting under the door, he knows he’s heard beethoven one or two times and it makes him feel inexplicably connected to the tenant even though he’s never even seen who lives there. until, of course, the day finally comes when the door opens as he’s passing by, and it’s not at all what emery had expected; it’s a boy, for one thing, and he’s cute enough that emery feels an instant blush light up his face. he could make a run for it, but for once in his life he doesn’t. “hi!” he practically yells instead, a little too loudly and with much too much force for a simple greeting. “sorry, i was just--i w-was listening to your...” he breaks off, takes a breath, and continues hurriedly, “the piano, you play a lot? you must really like debussy, beethoven’s my favorite and lizst is a close second but debussy is definitely up there in my top five.” a ringing silence follows his messy declarations and the warmth in his cheeks deepens. he wants suddenly to sink right into the floor. “sorry, i-i just...like classical piano a lot. um--i’m emery. i live on the f-f-fifth floor.” // @immcterial
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cmerys-blog · 6 years ago
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arielfranzese‌:
Ariel had always been a bit of a messy drunk, which was unfortunate. As her mother often said, she was too pretty to be so sloppy, falling all over the place and embarrassing herself, but that had never stopped her in the past and certainly hadn’t stopped her from having a few drinks this evening. She hadn’t meant to bring someone else into her mess, though, and immediately felt bad for bumping into the other. “I’m so sorry,” She leaned back against the wall behind her to steady herself, a little smile on her lips now. “It totally, totally was my fault.” Ari reached up, brushing some hair back from her face as she looked the other over in an attempt to find any injury she may have caused. “I’ll be fine, I’m just - going upstairs to my apartment, but that isn’t going as planned, obviously.”
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     emery shakes his head fervently, desperate to convey the utter lack of blame he places on her. maybe he doesn’t get drunk often, but he certainly knows what it’s like to have reduced control over your faculties. “it really wasn’t,” he insists, and adds with a smile, “but if you’re adamant about shouldering the responsibility at least know you don’t have to apologize. it happens to the best of us. i’m just glad it was me you bumped into instead of something that could have hurt you.” he blushes a little when the woman’s gaze drops to take in his appearance, awkwardly crossing his arms over his chest. “i could help you up the stairs if you want?” he suggests, holding out an elbow in the universal gesture. “your hair looks very nice--it would be a shame to ruin it with another accident.”
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cmerys-blog · 6 years ago
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     as somebody who can’t even fathom asking the mailman to move from in front of his own mailbox, it rather annoys emery when the woman is so blatantly ignored. if she has the courage to ask for what she needs, he reasons, she should certainly get it. he’s a little startled to be addressed by her personally but he quickly musters up a polite--if over-bright--smile. “oh--sure! yeah, no problem.” he reaches out for the keys and, locating the right mailbox, squeezes himself without too much difficulty between it and the mail carrier’s cart. grabbing everything inside, he locks it back up before shimmying out again and handing over the key and the contents. “my brother would’ve been proud oft hat maneuver,” he jokes lightly, “he’s a dancer--i’m usually the ungraceful one. glad i could help, though.”
❝ sorry excuse me, could i- ❞ one of the things that aja disliked about living in the apartments was getting the mail when the mailman came. and yet somehow she always timed it so that he was there whenever she did. he always put his cart right in front of the boxes so that she couldn’t access her apartments mailbox, and refused to move whenever she asked. spotting someone else getting their own mail, closer to the boxes than she could possibly get at that current moment, she thought it wouldn’t hurt to ask if they could give her a hand. ❝ hey, excuse me. if i give you the key to my box, could you get my mail for me? it’s apartment 3a. ❞ she asked politely, holding out her key with a small smile.
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cmerys-blog · 6 years ago
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     ever hyperaware of his surroundings, emery does try to move out of the way of the woman walking tipsily toward the apartment building’s stairs only to be knocked into anyway, glasses falling askew. it happens a lot that people run into him, partly he supposes because of his slight frame, but mostly because it’s so habitual for him to shrink out of the way of other people, as if some part of him is convinced he’d be better off disappearing altogether. “it’s no problem!” he assures her hastily, feeling the color on his cheeks and detesting how easily he blushes over nothing. “it wasn’t your fault.” a ridiculous thing to say--it clearly wasn’t his fault--but he hates the idea of someone thinking he blames them for something. “i’m fine, no worries. are you okay? do you need help getting somewhere?”
Ariel had just gotten in from an interview. She’d gotten to talk to the singer of some punk band, not necessarily a genre she was into, but it was part of her work to interview these kids who were just arriving on the scene. Besides, she’d gotten two free drinks out of it so she couldn’t complain. After arriving back to the apartment building, she’d parked her bike and pulled her helmet off, running her fingers through her hair to try and fix it a little bit - helmet hair wasn’t flattering, after all. Once she was somewhat happy with her appearance, Ariel grabbed her backpack from the back of the motorcycle and slung it over her shoulder before heading into the building. She wasn’t paying much attention, simply due to being a bit tipsy and spaced out, and accidentally bumped into someone on her way to the stairs. “Shit - sorry, that was my bad. Are you alright?”
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cmerys-blog · 6 years ago
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immcterial‌:
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winnie works hard every performance, of course, but he tries especially hard to be absolutely perfect the times he knows he has someone in the audience watching him. it’s probably way more pressure than he should be putting on his already rumination-prone plate but he reasons it cannot be helped. the people who matter to him enough to land themselves a free ticket deserve to see him at his very best. no matter how many times emery comes, winnie feels the same way. he may not have the lead, but it’s still a position and one he holds proudly. he knows em’s eyes will be on him more often than not. winded but pleased with his performance, winnie tosses on his warm up gear and, without bothering to rid himself of his stage makeup, he traipses out to the lobby to greet his twin. he sags a little into the hug, smile radiant, but tired. “yeah?” he hums into his brother’s shoulder, nuzzling into the embrace for a long breath before retracting so he can properly hold onto his flowers. “you’re too sweet to say so. if i were the best though, i’d be landing principal roles left and right but i’ll get there, someday.” he heard somewhere you can speak things into existence with the right kind of positive attitude. “now these,” he nods down at the flowers, bringing them up to his nose with a giggle, “these are definitely the best. you outdid yourself, emmy.”
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    pushing his glasses back up his nose where the hug had knocked them askew, emery beams at the way winnie holds the bouquet up to his nose, glad he’d elected to spend the money on getting roses this time. he doesn’t make much, but thanks to winnie he doesn’t have to pay rent on what he’s sure is a decently expensive apartment, and he firmly believes his twin is worth it regardless. “you deserve it,” he assures winnie, cheeks flushed with pleasure. “you are the best, though. they probably just don’t wanna give the roles to someone so young. you’ll get it the next show, i bet!” and he truly does believe it, the same way he’d genuinely believed winnie would get it this time. in emery’s mind, there’s nobody in the world better at anything than his winnie. “did you want to go out and do something before we head home
?” the sentence trails off ambiguously and emery knows winnie will see past the enthusiasm he tries his best to inject into the question, but it doesn’t stop him from trying. he wants to go home–being out all day zaps him of energy–but winnie’s just finished a spectacular performance and emery would accompany him to the ends of the earth if that’s what he wanted to do right now.
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cmerys-blog · 6 years ago
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ofnicole‌:
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       both legs are tucked beneath her, one knee jutting out enough to give ample space for lady to rest her head against nicole’s thigh. sharing a bottle of wine with one of her best friends, unwinding with an adorably affectionate pooch snuggled up with them — it’s exactly the type of evening she’s needed. however, as they start drifting from the normal talk of cute household animals to the more exotic choices, she almost spits out the sip of wine taken after the refill. fortunately, she manages to swallow without an external fuss before shooting emery a look that’s both a combination of disgust and amusement.  “ ew— em. no. i’ve never seen one in real life and i never want to. i can deal with reptiles, but bugs— spiders? i’d rather experience a britney spears-esque midlife crisis and shave my head. ”  with the bridge of her nose scrunched up, nicole gives a shake of her head before returning her attention to lady who’s comfortably nestled between the two of them, free hand gently massaging behind the dog’s ears.  “ snakes are 
 okay. i don’t know if i could live with one, though, so no offence but i’d side with winnie on that one. why don’t you get a turtle? they’re kinda’ cute in like .. an old, fragile man way. ”
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     emery rolls his eyes at nicole’s violently oppositional reaction but an affectionate smile lightens the gesture. “you only think they’re gross because you’ve been conditioned to think it’s creepy to have a lot of legs. tarantulas are actually really nice, and if you have one as a pet and hold it a lot it’ll start being friendly towards you. i mean, that’s what i’ve read, anyway.” free hand dropping to scratch the wiry hairs on lady’s flank, he lets out an uninhibited laugh at the comparison to an old man that nicole makes--it’s a sound most people don’t get to hear, because even if he does laugh in public emery’s habit is to stifle it so as not to draw attention to himself. “they’re very cute and i’d love to have a turtle, but i’d want a tarantula or a snake more. maybe you and win should live together and i’ll get my own apartment and fill it with as many bugs and reptiles and rodents and exotic wildlife as i can fit! one day when i’m rich enough i’m gonna buy a whole zoo.”
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cmerys-blog · 6 years ago
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   facing a building like the the david h koch theater by himself is something that would ordinarily be so far out of emery’s comfort zone as to be laughable. due entirely to the fact that winnie had initially showed him how to get here and exactly where to go, however–and thanks to the amount of times he’s now done it, not to mention the number of performances he’s attended–emery feels almost relaxed standing in the lobby while he waits for winnie to come out of the dressing rooms. some of the employees have even begun to recognize him ( although emery suspects they might think he’s his brother ) and the friendly smiles make a world of difference. it’s the third time he’s seen hallelujah junction already but when winnie appears in the lobby, emery shoves an enormous bouquet of roses into his hands like it’s the first time. “you were so good, win!” he exclaims, engulfing the other in a hug and crushing the flowers between them. it’s genuine, but there’s some part of him that’s perhaps trying to make up for the fact that the rest of their family isn’t here. “i know i’m probably biased but i really think you’re the best one up there.” // @immcterial
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cmerys-blog · 6 years ago
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THE REDD TWINS – A FAMILY SNAPSHOT ( @immcterial​ )
you were born together, and together you shall be forevermore but let there be spaces in your togetherness. and let the winds of heaven dance between you –  Kahlil Gibran
Daniel Redd (51) - FC: Pierce Brosnan - A sports writer for a local magazine, some might say the Redd patriarch is a perfect example of a man who couldn’t do what he wanted and resigned himself instead to writing about it. He’s a football fanatic at heart and with no other interests that come close to rivaling his passion for sports, Daniel Redd spent very little time connecting with his two eldest children as soon as it became clear neither were going to measure up to the much more masculine dream-son he’d always wanted. That, of course, appeared in the form of Logan, the child who came a few years after the twins. A man who never emerged from the old school ideologies of his generation, he spends almost no time at all trying to have a relationship with the twins now that they’ve moved away, preferring to focus on cultivating the one he has with his chosen favorite.
Victoria Marie Redd (46) - FC: Heather Graham - Victoria Marie was a ballerina from the time she was old enough to stand on her own two feet. Although she excelled at the career in Australia, however, she failed to find work when she came to New York at nineteen and ended up returning home to settle for the small-time, eventually teaching ballet instead of doing it herself. It was this perceived failure that drove her to push her son, Winnie, to live up to the dreams she never achieved when it became clear he had the talent. In this way she often managed to neglect her other two children: Emery, the twin whose intellect never interested her, and Logan, whose athletic abilities were more suited to please her husband’s football fanaticism. It was she who encouraged them to go to New York so that Winnie could do what she’d never done, and she could live vicariously through him.
Edwin ‘Winnie’ Redd (21) - FC: Troye Sivan - A true ballet prodigy, Winnie’s outstanding talent in the world of dance captured his mother’s focus the first time she enrolled him and Emery into a class at the age of four. While Emery showed a lack of interest in pursuing his mother’s passion, Winnie fell in love instantly and it became clear within just a few short years that with time and effort, he could fill the shoes his mother so desperately wanted for herself. And while he did indeed continue to improve and stun each one of his teachers with his natural affinity for the dance ( even learning pointe where male dancers did not, as a rule, do as such ), the pressure from his mother and eventually from himself turned into a warped sense of self that’s grown into a sizable demon all these years later. It seems to have paid off, though: at twenty-one, he has a spot in the corps of the New York City Ballet and shows great promise of making principal. And though it takes up most of his time and a good majority of his life in general, he’s never lost his love for keeping close friends and making time for his twin, for whom he still feels a sense of responsibility even in their early twenties.
Emery Redd (21) - FC: Troye Sivan - The child who never found a point of connection with either parent, Emery is less a black sheep of the Redd family than an afterthought. Too meek and mild to have impressed his father and with passions that lie outside of his mother’s realm of interest, he spent his childhood exceedingly lonely save for the attention he never failed to receive from his twin. It wasn’t just his affinity for biology that failed to impress his parents, though—both an undiagnosed anxiety disorder and a stutter ravaged his early years and left him feeling isolated from both parents and most of his peers. To make matters even more difficult, it was in high school that Emery first allowed himself to explore the terrifying idea that he wasn’t entirely comfortable in his assigned gender at birth, which eventually led him to his identification as a demiboy. Through all of this, he still managed to continue pursuing his passion for science and animals and working tirelessly to beat his stutter, which he has all but done now in his young adult years. A scholarship to NYU bolstered his confidence and allowed him to enjoy his chosen career path without needing acceptance from anyone but himself—and his beloved twin.
Logan Redd (19) - FC: Neels Visser / flexible - The youngest of the Redd children, Logan was the apple of their father’s eye as soon as he was born. Where the twins had never been able to satisfy Daniel’s obsessive love for sports, Logan showed promise the moment he was put in an Australian Little League uniform and given a baseball bat. As he got older, he showed about as much interest in his older siblings as his father did, creating a rift between them that only solidified in high school and remains to this day.
Galadriel ‘Lady’ Redd (2) - FC: Nash - Named after one of Emery’s favorite characters from Lord of the Rings, Lady was adopted by the anxiety-riddled twin after having promised Winnie he would be able to take care of a pet. And he has: the bond Emery’s formed with Lady is one of the most grounding things in his life and, only a year after first meeting each other, he can’t imagine his life without her warm, sturdy presence by his side. It helps that she seems to have her own anxiety disorder as well—the two-year-old dog is extremely shy around strangers unless Emery is there to facilitate the meeting.
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cmerys-blog · 6 years ago
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cmerys-blog · 6 years ago
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     perhaps the only time ever that emery manages to forget his surroundings ( namely other people ) is when he’s playing piano, reading, or when he’s spotted a bird he doesn’t think he’s ever seen before. right now it’s the latter; standing in front of the apartment building with his phone out, his focus is on trying to get a picture of what he believes to be an indigo bunting--unlikely, maybe, but it is spring, and that’s the only time to see immigrant birds. before he can get the picture, however, he walks backwards into somebody and stumbles, nearly dropping his phone in the process and just barely managing to regain his grip in time--he does drop his book, though. “sorry!” he’s quick to say, turning anxiously around and going instantly red when he sees who it is. of course. “oh, sterling, hi, sorry, i--” he breaks off from his rambling, looking back to the tree where he’d seen the bird only to have his heart sink when it’s gone. “i thought i saw something. sorry for--for running into you.” picking his book up from the sidewalk, he lets out a soft sigh seeing that half the pages had been bent in half. “i wish this would teach me to use my bag, but i know it won’t.” ( @stcrlingdavis )
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cmerys-blog · 6 years ago
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     with a couple glasses of wine in him and buoyed by the safety of being in his own apartment, emery is as relaxed as he’s ever been. it helps that his company is one of his best friends in the world besides winnie himself, too. and to complete the feeling of serenity, lady has her backside firmly pressed against emery and her head lying complacently on nic’s thigh. “this guy today,” he tells her, carefully pouring more pinot into each of their glasses without dislodging lady, “brought a corn snake into the clinic. she was so sweet, i wish people brought snakes in more often. winnie would lose it if i got a pet snake, i bet.” he pouts, sighs, and takes a sip. “have you ever seen a tarantula in real life?” ( @ofnicole )
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cmerys-blog · 6 years ago
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     emery doesn’t mind when people quite often wind up unloading their daily troubles on him--it’s easy to do, he supposes, when he himself doesn’t talk much, leaving plenty of silence to fill. he enjoys hearing others talk, quietly fascinated by all the different lives of the people he knows in this enormous city and glad to be a sounding board for them--especially if it means less talking himself. “are you sure he didn’t care?” emery teases lightly, “you did say you don’t work there anymore, right?” the idea doesn’t offend him morally so much as it astounds him people are able to go about their daily lives that way; emery himself has only gotten high a couple times in his life, and he knows with utter certainty he’d never be able to handle it while he was working. “think of it this way: if you’re sober you’ll probably do a better job, and i bet you’ll make more tips that way!”
“Understaffed shift, shit tips
I fucking hate working as a server. This new job sucks. I mean, at least at my last restaurant the dude who owned the place didn’t care if I showed up high and let us drink during happy hour. What’s with these uptight managers? The fuck? At least I got a job to barely afford alcohol.” Jacob turned from the person he was talking to and picked up a bottle of vodka from the shelf in the store. 
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cmerys-blog · 6 years ago
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cmerys-blog · 6 years ago
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( troye sivan. 21. demiboy. he/they. ) ❛ emery redd, a pisces from queensland, australia, moved into holloway three years ago. they are a med school student/intern at a vet clinic that lives in apartment 5d and their neighbors don’t particularly mind them. some say they can be passive and insecure but others say they’re intelligent and soft-hearted. anyways, one thing is for sure: you hear catastrophize by noah kahan, it’s emery blasting it.
hello friends! i’m nev ( she/her ) n i’m so excited to meet all ur characters n plot with you !! i’m bringing u a tiny soft anxious nerdy baby about whom you can read a bit below ( it’s like


.half bio half intro idk rly just bear w me im tired !! ) anyway smash a like and i’ll come @ u or hmu in my dms xo
trigger warnings for: anxiety disorder, homophobia
emery was born in the gold coast in australia with a twin brother ( winnie ) and a younger brother, both of whom managed to capture their parents’ attention more successfully than emery ever did. with winnie being a phenomenal dancer and following in their mom’s footsteps and their younger brother being the more masculine son their father had hoped for, emery grew up feeling distanced from his family and not especially important–save of course for winnie, who always went out of his way to make sure emery never felt neglected. because of this–and because of a moderate-to-severe anxiety disorder as well as burgeoning gender confusion–winnie became from a very young age emery’s life support. as children, you would never find emery anywhere that winnie was not, and when winnie was at his dance classes, emery was typically at home, either reading his animal biology books or practicing piano ( for which he had an incredible affinity, but in which neither of his parents took much interest )
he’s been obsessed with animals since he was little, used to get in trouble with his parents for bringing in birds and things from outside to try and keep them as pets, and even kept a sketchbook with him for a long time where he would draw birds he saw and then catalogue them later
when he and winnie moved to new york he immediately got a dog, whose fc is troye’s actual dog yuergiuhjsa and is emery’s best friend in the world he loves her so much. her name is galadriel from lotr but he calls her lady
when he was very young, emery had a stutter as well–he’s mostly grown out of it through a combination of aging and speech therapy, but he’ll still talk a little slower out of anticipation of messing up, and because the anxiety still exists to a large degree, he doesn’t talk a lot in general. so when he does, it’s something he very much wants to say, and he’s painstaking about trying to articulate things clearly
because he was unable to explore his gender confusion at home for fear of alienating his parents further, it was only once he and winnie moved out together that he began experimenting and learning to be more himself. you’ll typically find him in soft, oversized sweaters and a pair of jeans, and although he generally refers to himself using he/him pronouns, he’s pretty flexible
he’s a little nerdy, wears glasses most of the time unless he feels like putting in his contacts, and aside from his bird drawing and fascination with animals he spends a lot of time transcribing piano music as a hobby
he finished his undergraduate degree at nyu early and is now in his first year of med school to become a vet. he’s an intern at a vet clinic but makes very little money doing it
he got broken up with about a month ago by a bf who was cheating on him with winnie but em doesn’t know


that’s the case. so he’s still very sore about that bc it was his first bf and he’s heartbroken !!!
all in all, em is a very soft, anxious little baby with a warm heart and a great yearning to start living life in a way his anxieties have always kept him from doing
connection ideas
a close-knit group of friends, people emery can be himself around and shed a little bit of his crippling shyness
maybe?? some?? people who are not particularly nice to him?? idk bc he’s rly quiet and weak looking he’d be easy to pick on euyrafghdjs i just want angst ok
the bf! who cheated on him w winnie! i’ll make this a wc if no one takes it up ✌
probably a boy he has a lowkey new crush on but will absolutely NOT SAY ANYTHING EVER and just admire from afar and barely be able to talk to him tbh
alternatively someone who has a crush on em but he literally has no idea
would love to have the kind of thing where?? em was friends w someone when he first moved here 3 years ago but they sort of drifted away from him eventually bc he’s literally so shy and impossible to get to go out
AND in that same vein somebody he didn’t get along w originally but has become rly close to these days for whatever reason !!
somebody who’s rly protective over him
hookups of winnie’s that em’s rly awkward w when they’re over at the apartment
somebody or somebodies who have mistaken em for winnie and tried to make a pass only to realize!! they’ve got the wrong twin
um anything angsty ok hmu to plot w any other!!! ideas!!!!!!
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cmerys-blog · 6 years ago
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cmerys-blog · 6 years ago
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when i make an important phonecall
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