coff33 - Tumblr blog

[coff33]

The most difficult thing about applying to jobs and programs to learn new skills is trying to explain why I’m worthy of learning something new. I’m essentially starting at square one so I don’t have an impressive resume/long list of skills. I’ve done the same job for 7 years. Yea it sucks. I’m trying to change it. But society makes it near impossible and I want to cry. Like how do you turn your life around? I honestly didn’t even mess up in a drastic way. It’s not like I fell into addiction or have a criminal record, etc. things that normally make career building difficult (it shouldn’t be as hard as it is, society is ass). I literally just worked at the same place for years you’d think I’d killed somebody :/ just the way it feels like a stain on who you are… and if people wonder why I let that happen the only reason I can offer is that I was really depressed/hated myself. I hate even thinking that because people don’t view it as a valid reason they just think it’s pathetic. But like… that’s what happened. I had just gotten out of a 6 year, life defining relationship that I poured my soul into (literally moved to another country for it). I was in my late 20s and felt like a huge failure which is hilarious looking back now but I get why I felt like that. I had next to nothing going for me. This just sucks man, I’m still interested in learning, I think the world is cool and interesting still which counts for a lot now. I’m open minded. Like wtf just let me have a nice life

[coff33]

[coff33]

[coff33]

hallway from possession

[coff33]

[coff33]

[coff33]

I wanted the past to go away, I wanted to leave it, like another country; I wanted my life to close, and open like a hinge, like a wing, like the part of the song where it falls down over the rocks: an explosion, a discovery; I wanted to hurry into the work of my life; I wanted to know, whoever I was, I was alive for a little while.

Mary Oliver, "Dogfish" in New and Selected Poems

[coff33]

When summer evenings feel like this gif it’s beautiful and it’s worth it

[coff33]

We are in a period of time meant for learning

[coff33]

adorablenatsu

[coff33]

[coff33]

Yohji Yamamoto Pour Homme, Adidas Yuuto Flower Tenet, autumn/winter 2001

[coff33]

I look at everything like it’s on a movie screen

[coff33]

I need to become very successful, I need to be healed. My body and mind have to catch up to my soul

[coff33]

I really want everything to work out. I love what I love and it’s hard to want other outcomes.

[coff33]

Nobuyoshi Araki: Orchid (2016)

[coff33]