coffeeknife

[coffeeknife]

when the housemates are an asexual person, a chastity fetishist and somebody with a lethal peanut allergy

[coffeeknife]

lovely man

2023

[coffeeknife]

cant have sex with my IOS wife because my dick doesn't fit her portussy so now i have to go to the shitfuck apple store and buy the like 200 dollar strapple

[coffeeknife]

please just read the whole thing

[coffeeknife]

YOUNG MAN!

There's no need to feel down,

I MEAN YOUNG THEY!

I forgot your pronoun,

[coffeeknife]

he has too much power

[coffeeknife]

the death of dvds is so fucked. what about bonus features

[coffeeknife]

Please don’t take your pets for granted. Even if you’re frustrated that your dog has been barking all day or your bird has been screaming for attention, remember you are all they have in this world. Give your fish that extra water change. Give your dog or cat that tummy rub they’ve been begging for. Chop up some fresh fruit as a treat for your rodents or reptiles. Just spend some time with them. Be compassionate to your animals. They are living creatures that are alive simply because you wish them to be. They may only be a small part in your life, but to them, you are their everything.

[coffeeknife]

apparently one of the ways to say "shaved my head" in Japanese is "頭を坊主にした" which is literally something like "did the monk thing to my head"

[coffeeknife]

always remember that there are material actions you can take to help transfems right now such as fucking her ass or killing her landlord

[coffeeknife]

begging you gals to critically examine your relationship with transfemininity and interrogate your internalized transmisogyny because it is so very obvious that some of you haven't. i promise you will be so much happier and healthier and comfortable with yourself if you do so. like so many posts on this site i see have me sitting here like "girl the call is coming from inside the house you need to reexamine that thought process." learn to love yourself and have some self respect.

[coffeeknife]

Me on this stupid app

[coffeeknife]

having to pay for parking at a hospital will always be fucking deranged to me. Sorry

[coffeeknife]

Tumblr is a fate driven website. You can't find posts through the search function, you see them when you're meant to.

[coffeeknife]

[coffeeknife]

Something so profoundly fucked up between the inverse ratio of shrinking middle class and ever increasing aggression of advertisement