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me 8 years old hoping something bad happens to me so that i'll finally get attention not realizing something bad in fact did happen to me but no one noticed lol
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toxic parents will traumatize you and act surprised when you act like you've been traumatized
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everyone talks about cutting off a toxic parent
but no one ever talks about the pain of wanting a parent but knowing yours cannot love you the way they should
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"describe your symptoms" brother i have felt like this since i was 12 unrelentingly




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starting to think I may actually have some issues and even perhaps problems
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“hey it could be worse” well i would like it not to be. how about that
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I’m not having a breakdown
The breakdown is having me
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Skipped my meds for a day and suddenly stopped having my weeklong psychotic episode?? Wack
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When it's winter and now you have seasonal depression on top of your regular depression.

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#it's almost time to tell my parents about me starting t because i can't keep it a secret forever#especially with my plans to eventually get top surgery too#I'm waiting till they're back in the country#I'm planning on just shooting a text in the family groupchat and then turning off my phone#but I'm like. genuinely worried they'll call the cops on me for a 'wellness check' if i ignore their calls#and how am i supposed to deal with cops at my door?#anyway i didn't want to bum my friends out with this one so it goes on this blog ig#and no the call wouldn't be because they love me#it would be because what would their friends think and how could i hate them enough to do this etc etc#I've been out for 10 years so no it's not like it 'might go better than i think'#which a lot of people keep telling me#despite knowing I've been out for 10 years and might *maybe* know what I'm talking about
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gods weakest soldier. minor events kick the shit out of me daily god hands me his lightest battles and i start sniffling and fumbling the bag
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