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[coffeeshopmuse]

Time changes so much doesn’t it.

I hope one day you see it for what it is.

Orbit orbit orbit.

[coffeeshopmuse]

Fuck you

Fuck him

Disappeared when I needed you most

(third times the charm)

No warning shot

But if a tree falls in a forest I’ll be sure to hear it

[coffeeshopmuse]

The coffee is too hot still. You’ll leave it on for hours. You made a whole pot again, didn’t you? I can tell because your first cup is still half full from breakfast. I should get some. Maybe. I’m out of milk. It’s fine, it’s one more thing to talk about later, how we should have made a half pot instead.

[coffeeshopmuse]

And I managed to do it all…..

[coffeeshopmuse]

[coffeeshopmuse]

[coffeeshopmuse]

It’s beautiful, I think, hearing the waves crash, the static sound echoing around. The light from the moon bouncing off the white and blue blanket of foam. I’m so tired. It’s almost time to sleep. A lullaby to the depths. I miss him. I hope he will feel the same about me.

[coffeeshopmuse]

All my life I wondered what my breaking point would finally be. Thank god I’ve found it and I can finally find peace.

[coffeeshopmuse]

Being single after a decade is hard

[coffeeshopmuse]

“I’m always soft for you, that’s the problem. You could come knocking on my door five years from now and I would open my arms wider and say ‘come here, it’s been too long, it felt like home with you.”

— Azra T

[coffeeshopmuse]

[coffeeshopmuse]

Here’s a picture of a goat,

I’m hoping to hear from you,

Is the goat enough?

I don’t know what else to say.

Please, enjoy the goat, even if you stay silent.

[coffeeshopmuse]

Why don't you throw me in the damn flame?

Bury me in gold chains

Throw me in the damn flame

All alone in the glass house

Lay awake 'til the sun's out

Thank the sky when you come down

Empty in the driveway

Caffeine for the heartache

Never wanna have it my way

[coffeeshopmuse]

All this talk of friends and yet a title I cannot claim, I used to wear a badge of honor, and now I’m lucky to find a scrap in the ditch. Such it is, and we continue.

[coffeeshopmuse]

I’ve read this thirty times and each time it feels like my lungs lose a little more air

i'm too old, can you remind me why we stopped talking? the days are getting shorter again - i wake up before the sun, i finish work after she has already hidden again.

i saw you got a dog - i think. i saw you dyed your hair - maybe. i saw that you like the same television series i do - well, it seems. anything could be happening, i guess. it's hard to tell just looking at a screen.

i'm too old - why did we fight? i can't remember what exactly happened. i can't remember what came up. i've been getting better. i'm sorry, if it's my fault. i'm sorry even if it's not. i'm sorry even if neither of us did anything wrong.

someone mentioned you the other day, and asked me - do you know her? as if we'd never even been friends. i had to think about it. no, i guess not. i once cried on your shoulder for half an hour about a boy who wasn't even, like, hot.

for old time's sake, wanna come over? it's halloween. it used to be our season. we used to clomp through the leaves together. wanna come over? i just moved, i want to show you my tiny skein of a yard. wanna come over? my dog can meet your maybe-dog and we can drink mulled cider and get over the hard part.

i dont remember who drew the line. i don't remember if there was even a line ever drawn, or we just grew apart, the way adults sometimes do. i think to text you sometimes - but what if you're angry?

you used to come to my birthday parties. i used to throw parties for you. it's kind of hard to picture, these days, as if through a fogged windowpane. a lot has happened since then. a lot has changed for me. probably for you too.

i can't write today. i wasn't ever really good at writing for you, specifically, anyway. i felt something too mottled. something that scalded if it wasn't handled properly.

anyway. i'm too old. i hope you reach out. i am glad you look happy. i am glad that i'm happy too. i am glad we are both busy adults with our lives sparkling like glitter glue. i am glad like ice cream dinners and theme park tickets and closing a book. i am glad to my roots.

but i kind of wish you were here so i could share it with you.

[coffeeshopmuse]

[coffeeshopmuse]

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