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Luo Binghe is not an AI loser user.

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Thinking once again about the parallels between Luo Binghe and Xie Lian.

-Princes

-Only children

-Fraught relationships with their dads

-Very distinctive cooking

-Mama's boys

-Fell in love with their no.1 ultimate fan

-Not good at friendships

-Extremely talented and hardworking

-Weird green cousin

-Complicated situationship with their swords

-Declared shredded by fandom

-Pissed off someone with considerable authority over their lives and destinies by unwittingly saying the exact wrong thing at the exact wrong time

-Drama queens

-Excellent combatants

-Just wanted to cultivate what the hell even happened

-The narrative's favorite guy (this is a bad thing)

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Head disciple era Shen Qingqiu, Yue Qingyuan, Qi Qingqi, Wei Qingwei and Shang Qinghua get sent on a joint nighthunt. It's super awkward for the others to be on a night hunt with both Shen Qingqiu and Yue Qingyuan.

On the way back, they fly over some town, and suddenly Shen Qingqiu and Yue Qingyuan, who have been at odds this whole trip (with Yue Qingyuan trying to be nice to Shen Qingqiu, and Shen Qingqiu angrily rebuffing him) freeze, share a Look, and they both just dive with their swords.

The others follow them, after a few moments of sheer confusion and concern. What they find is even more confusing and concerning.

Shen Qingqiu and Yue Qingyuan are fighting side by side, in a dingy courtyard. Killing non-cultivators indiscriminately. And brutally. Shen Qingqiu wielding Xiu Ya is as elegant as ever, but Yue Qingyuan is essentially killing these people with their bare hands.

There's children - dirty, filthy, hurt - hiding wherever they can.

A few of the kids cheer when the last man dies, head cut off.

Shang Qinghua is the one who figures it out. Whispering slavers just loud enough for everyone to hear.

After, they all agree. They saw nothing.

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having ocs is so fucked .... i miss them so bad but im the guy who has to create new content. but im sleepy

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Shen Qingqiu accidentally got caught in one of the plagiaristic wife plots from Airplane, becoming cursed like Medusa. Literally. Anyone he sees turns into a stone statue and has many snakes instead of hair. Airplane said it was an interesting way to explore papapa blindfolded and Shen Qingqiu hated him more for it.

However, the only one who now knows his situation is Mu Qingfang; in the eyes of the rest of the Sect, Shen Qingqiu was blinded as a result of some curse. He hides the snakes with talismans drawn on his skin that make people unable to perceive them, they just see him all the time with his long hair loose and untidy.

Snakes are a piece of shit. They hiss and talk all the time and only Shen Qingqiu can fucking understand them. They gossip about how sexy Liu Qingge is, talk shitty about Airplane, and make weird and unfortunate comments all the time. Shen Qingqiu can hardly concentrate many times.

Snakes are also... nice. In a way. They nibble at his cheeks and force him to eat something. They tell him secrets they hear. They smell the air and tell him when it's going to rain or if a disciple has been misbehaving. With Luo Binghe in the Abyss, they are certainly pleasant company.

Then Jinlan arrives, and Shen Qingqiu may be blind to the jianghu, but that doesn't mean he won't show up. It will help even with a blindfold – in fact, he can see through it, albeit in black and white and mostly in very poor quality. It's as if he's using his qi to see thanks to the talismans he's developed with Mu Qingfang! Which also means that when Without-a-Cure attacks him, he's completely blind behind the blindfold, but oh well. Occupational hazards.

And then, Luo Binghe is there.

And their snakes go fucking crazy, excited, not one of them is scared, damn it! They've all heard of Binghe – seriously, Shen Qingqiu may have told them about Binghe, but SERIOUSLY! Don't put it like that! It's just his disciple who came back to kill him. And the Protagonist. YOU, ENOUGH SAYING HE'S SEXY.

Shen Qingqiu survives the first encounter without being dismembered, with the whole bunch of snakes murmuring and squealing excited hisses that only Shen Qingqiu can hear and understand. Fine. He just needs to protect himself with Liu-shidi and...

And of course Luo Binghe steps forward, cornering him in his own room. Of course he had to be faster and...

God, seriously, stop saying he's hot!

Shen Qingqiu is grateful that no one but him can hear any of those chaotic snakes. Except that–

Why the HELL can Luo Binghe also hear and understand them!? Seriously, Airplane!? That wasn't in the novel!! Luo Binghe, don't castrate your scum Shizun for being lustful too, all that stuff about you being sexy and hot isn't just thoughts you're accidentally hearing! It's the snakes in the hair of this master!!

... Why doesn't Luo Binghe seem disgusted by all those snake murmurs, though? There's no way he's okay with Shen Qingqiu thinking that way about him – AND IT'S NOT THAT SHEN QINGQIU THINKS THAT WAY ABOUT HIM!

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One of my favorite plots for the Shen brothers it's when everyone sees Shen Yuan and be like "oh, he's so cute and soft and pretty, he could never be that bitch Shen Qingqiu's older/younger/twin brother", except Shen Yuan hears that person call his brother a bitch and words come out of his mouth that make that person regret waking up in the morning, and humiliates them in such a disgusting way that no one ever dares to insult Shen Qingqiu in front of his brother... or doubt that they are brothers

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Shang Qinghua was 17 when he met Mobei Jun and Wei Qingwei, Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu all were already head disciples and had their courtesy names at that point

Which since 16/17 is I believe roughly the age when Shen Qingqiu joined the sect and Shang Qinghua took at least 2 more years to get the head disciple position that means that it's reasonable to assume that Shen Jiu is at least roughly 2 years older then Shang Qinghua because he wasn't at the sect long before becoming head disciple. I suppose he could have done it in a year but being named succeeding disciple after two years make the most sense to me.

It's still quick and but it's more believable

Which is just something to keep in mind because I see a lot of disciple fics that have Shang Qinghua intervene and warn Yue Qingyuan or something or help him out but realistically that couldn't have happened.

If Yue Qingyuan was 13-14ish when he got accepted to Cang Qiong (let's say he was a little old but not too much) and Shen Jiu was 12 then Shang Qinghua couldn't have been older then 10

If you give minimum of 4 years of separation then Shang Qinghua wouod have been at the oldest 14 when Shen Jiu and Yue Qingyuan met again. So it's not sensible to believe that he might not have even been at Cang Qiong when that happened as he was an "older than average" outer disciple when he met Mobei for the first time

Also things to note about Shen Jiu and Yue Qingyuan

1. Yue Qingyuan is constantly telling Shen Jiu to stop being a dick

2. He also thinks it's cute when he's being a a vicious little gremlin because the man is a freak.

Of course Yue Qi knew he wasn't scared. If he really let Shen Jiu brawl with the other kids he'd fight dirty . He'd gouge at their eyes and kick them in the belly or crotch or shin. He was terribly vicious, and the other party would be the one to end up suffering and bawling in terror. Yue Qi forced down a smile.

SVSSS Vol 4 Pg 82 (bold is mine)

Yue Qingyuan is always in between stopping Shen Jiu from destroying his interpersonal relationships and thinking it's awesome

3. Shen Jiu is absolutely to blame for his feud with Liu Qingge. Yes he is unjustly accused of trying to kill him during he thing with Shang Qinghua but he has screamed "I am definitely going to kill you" multiple times in public and after losing to him once in a proper tournament, where people were impressed by how long he held out, he took to regularly ambushing Liu Qingge

On top of that yeah the guy from Bai Zhan did follow Shen Jiu into the brothel to insult him which was rude but Shen Jiu beat him up so viciously that he had serious wounds which is why Liu Qingge was pissed off about it in return

Liu Qingge is absolutely also a dick to Shen Jiu and needles him about his cultivation but Shen Jiu created the initial problem

4. I really don't think Yue Qingyuan can tell Shen Jiu why he couldn't rescue him. And not out of guilt or because he thinks it's an excuse. I genuinely think at the very least trauma makes him incapable of describing it until Maigu Ridge. And even then he said it's the only time he'll be able to say it. I think it's also possible it's related to his sword and he can't talk about unless it's drawn but that's more nebulous. The trauma one is real.

5. Shen Jiu wasn't popular with his peers at Qing Jing but he wasn't Binghe level of hated. He couldn't sleep in the communal areas because trauma but he wasn't chased out or unwelcome in those spaces. Also he liked his Qing Jing Peak Lord and had a a good relationship with them

He got into Qing Jing via Yue Qingyuan but he made Head Disciple on his own merit

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AU where actually SY was SJ's twin, died in the Qiu house, reincarnated into the modern world and then isrkaied into his past life brother.

SJ's soul is there but recovering. His body would have died without yuandi taking over. Yes he's upset about sy being nice to LBH and the peak lords but that's his yuandi! He can do whatever he wants forever

Meanwhile sy starts losing time, people comment he's been crabby lately and the system gives him a bunch of warnings about instability because sj is partially regaining control.

Eventually sj leaves out a note of some body making plant (not sun dew mushroom which he thinks will take too long) telling yuandi to get on it bc his soul has recovered

Cue sqq: ???

And this is right before the IAC but sy DID kind of steal this guy's life?

The system tells sy that he has to get the new body belt the IAC so he does that missing the last few months with his precious bun.... Only to not be awake yet in the new body before the conference.

SJ brings him back secretly and takes over. At the edge of the abyss he spews a lot of hatred and vitriol at LBH who is just sobbing in a kowtow

Eventually sj stops and says a powerful cultivator is coming. If LBH ever wants to see his kind Shizun again he has to escape via the abyss and redeem himself by coming back alive

Confused but willing to do anything LBH complies.

3 years later LBH shows up to find qjp has 2 peak lords which explains A LOT.

Anyway the trials of Hercules pale in comparison to what SJ makes LBH do to prove his worth. SJ is literally trying to get him killed but LBH is the protagonist.

(sy is oblivious to the courting attempt he thinks LBH just really wants to be a disciple again for some reason)

Eventually SJ realizes that not only is LBH nigh-unkillable, but he's more than willing to put every piece of himself at stake to keep yuandi safe. So he very grudgingly allows it.

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AU where Shang Qinghua is a god and Shen Yuan is his high priest. Not because SY is a super devout follower or anything, but solely because he is the only person willing to drag SQH out of the heavens and berate him for over an hour over an otherwise minor mistake (he's also the only one who will call SQH down from the heavens to have a massive bitch session with and share all the gossip).

Then for funsies, have god! Luo Binghe meet high priest SY exactly once and go absolutely feral for the man, to the point that he gets his own high priest (Mobei-jun) to start trying to seduce SQH (Mobei-jun is very down for this plan, like to the point where LBH barely had to suggest it because Mobei was already chomping at the bit to court SQH)

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At least one of them is self aware ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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My favorite “only survived the plot because no one could replace their administrative skills” characters

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“Luo Binghe, tell me honestly, exactly how long have you been practicing Raccoonic Cultivation?” Or something

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okay Shen Jiu&Shen Yuan are siblings AU except they meet AS DISCIPLES. Shen Yuan, head disciple of the Animal/Beast Husbandry Peak (or, if we go with this post's awesome ideas, the Hunting/Scouting Peak) runs into Qing Jing Peak Head Disciple Shen Jiu and they're both just staring at each other because that's my face!!! Why do you have it!! But Shen Jiu leaves without a word except a huff bc he's not admitting to being disturbed.

Shen Yuan writes his (peasant) mother that night like. Hey mom!!! What the fuck!! We even share a family name!!! What!!!

He gets a hesitant reply that yes. That might be his ge. Who Shen Yuan did not know he had. He thought he was an only child! Turns out his parents sold his then-two-years-old brother for a sack of rice during a famine year when their mother was pregnant with him! What the FUCK!

So after having a crisis he goes to find Shen Jiu and is like. So... hah... I'm your didi?

obviously Shen Jiu is fucking pissed. What do you MEAN his parents sold him as a slave but lovingly raised their SECOND child! He wants to kill Shen Yuan so bad. Also someone but Yue Qi now knows he was a slave. This is not good.

Shen Yuan is not giving up though!! He wants to know his gege and also he feels fucking BAD and wants to do SOMETHING about the fact that his newly found Jiu-ge is so clearly fucking miserable. He can see it!! That's his own face!!! You can't lie with his own face!!!

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Please read "Devil venerable also wants to know", this novel is so funny, in it two silly guys try to help a girl get out of a toxic relationship 🙏❤👍😳 and accidentally realize that they are gay

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aita for ignoring the "dibs" protocol for my best friends corpse?

I (none of your business, M) lost my best friend (Immortal Cultivator, M) to demon-brat-induced self-detonation a few years ago. Said demon brat (20-ish, M) called "dibs" on his body and took it home with him.

We have been fighting daily for my best friend's corpse since I believe it rightfully belongs in the burial place of his forefathers (ETA: not his literal forefathers. He's an orphan. Or something, I don't know). Demon Brat says he called dibs when best friend self-detonated and claims he's going to find a way to bring best friend back from the dead.

I wouldn't believe this fucking beast as far as I can throw him (which is really, really far) so I tried to break both his legs and arms to prevent me from getting my best friends corpse back so I can lay him to rest.

Demon Brat healed, broke my nose, kneed me in the dick and said he called dibs and that I'm the asshole for trying to "take his shizun".

so AITA?