coffinyouth

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When you don’t understand a joke [x]

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Rubber ducky, you’re the one.

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ADVICE FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT HAVING A GOOD DAY:

wait until it gets dark and make tea or coffee or hot chocolate, or if it’s too hot outside make yourself a healthy smoothie with your favorite things in it at any point during the day

put on your favorite underwear, it helps, trust me, it’s an old family secret (i’m not kidding)

if you have a pet, play the “how many things can i stick on you until you move or get mad” game (bonus points if they fall asleep, extra bonus points if a family member sees you and tells you to quit it, extra double ultra points if they join in)

rip a peice of paper into as many little pieces as you can

go to animeseason.com and click “random anime” until you see one that looks completely ridiculous (or actually good) and watch the first episode. repeat if it sucked or if you get bored halfway through

spend at least an hour making a music playlist for how you feel right now and save it for now or when you feel a bad mood rise again

curl up in bed and cover yourself with blankets and pillows and put in music and just lay there for a while (sleeping is also good)

eat everything

drink lots of water

it’s okay bad moods don’t last forever!!!!!! i promise!!! you will be yourself soon and there are people who love you very much, don’t be afraid to reach out to them

you are lovely

eat lots of bananas

[coffinyouth]

things u need to stop putting on your face

lemons

citrus in general  

coconut oil 

vaseline

baby oil on your eyes 

sugar 

baking soda 

toothpaste 

essential oils without diluting it with a carrier oil 

white vinegar 

st ives apricot scrubs 

aluminum powder in highly pigmented eyeshadows (nars and urban decay) 

sunscreens w/ vitamin A in them 

[coffinyouth]

[coffinyouth]

by Haenuli Shin

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i cant breathe

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День рождения сильного и независимого мужчины.

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Writing Quotes ☼

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I made a comic bc people have been bringing me down about my practice. A reminder to us all that we are valid 💕

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Chiara Bautista’s beautiful art! She is amazing and probably my favorite artist  :)

[coffinyouth]

How To Get A Job Fast As Hell

 @owenabbott​ 

Apply to a  job, wait (1) day, then call.  Give them your first and last name. Tell them you submitted an application and that you’re very motivated to find [Enter field name] work. Let the conversation lead you wherever it takes. Be very polite. Say” thank you for your time, I’ll be looking forward to hearing back from you.” Rinse, repeat. This is to force them to be looking out for your application. 

 When you get to the interview, shake their hand firmly,  tell them your first and last name.  

Describe your experiences  as “ two years transcription and data entry” if you have a desk job interview and “ [however many years]  costumer service, retail and stock” for your retail jobs.  

Don’t use job “ buzz words” I stg they hear them all day. Say  things like, “ I’m detail oriented and am very good at taking instruction.”  “ I would like to work for a company with integrity and I feel that [ company name] would be a good fit”

When they ask you if you have “reliable transportation” say  YES. don’t tell them what kind of transportation, just say yes. (if you don’t do this, you wont get the job , I’m telling you right now). 

Research the company. Know what they do, why they do it, how OLD the company is. WHERE it was founded, and what kind of position you’re intending to apply for.

When they ask you “ give us a situation where you had to blah blah blah” Make one the fuck up. Make yourself sound good as hell, and like you put your company’s needs slightly above the customer’s needs, but make the customer happy. 

If they ask you about being outgoing, Say you “like to focus on your work so you can concentrate on doing things right” (which buys you out of having to act friendly all the time)

Questions for after the interview:

1.  Does this position offer upward mobility?

2. Do you enjoy working for the company? (if you’re not interviewing for a temp agency who will send you anywhere)

 Then, shake their hand,  Ask them to repeat their name (REMEMBER THIS) say thank you for your time, wish them a nice day and leave. write their name down outside if you have to, just remember the fuck out of it. 

AFTER your interview, send a card directed to the name of the person who interviewed you (I’ll give you them) that says “Thank you for the interview, I appreciate the opportunity. have a great day” This shows  that you have an understanding of professionalism, and will have them thinking of you kindly (or at least remembering you) when they’re shuffling through the choices. 

DO NOT tell them you just moved to the city over the phone.  In person, tell them you just moved to the city. Make it sound like the only reason you need a job is because you moved. Not because you’re desperate. 

__________

 The titles of each section are key words you can use to search for jobs on Snagajob.com  and Simplyhired.

Data Entry:

http://citystaffing.com/job/data-entry-specialistsmailroom-clerk/?utm_source=Indeed&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=Indeed

https://www.roberthalf.com/officeteam/job-search/chicago-il/data-entry-clerks-needed/43517752?codes=IND

http://www.simplyhired.com/job/data-entry-specialists-job/chicago-transit-authority/jepfivkhjk?cid=udsowkxtausyzitcfeecaeuzoxkltmbl

https://jobs-theprivatebank.icims.com/jobs/3435/temporary—data-entry/job?mode=job&iis=SimplyHired&iisn=SimplyHired&utm_source=simplyhired&utm_medium=jobclick&mobile=false&width=792&height=500&bga=true&needsRedirect=false&jan1offset=-360&jun1offset=-300

 Front Desk:

http://localjobs.joblur.com/jobapplication2/?jobid=99957&subaffid=300006&JobType=Food%20/%20Bev%20/%20Hosp&ix=1&c1=99957

https://jobs.ajg.com/job/-/-/109/1256110?apstr=%26src%3DJB-10280

https://pepper.hiretouch.com/job-search/job-details?jobID=32066&job=receptionist

http://accesscommunityhealth.hodesiq.com/jobs/default.aspx?JobID=5203566 (this one is close to the place you rented.)

http://ihg.taleo.net/careersection/all/jobdetail.ftl?job=R113601&lang=en&media_id=24863&src=Indeed&src=JB-10920

https://covalentcareers.com/employer/listing/86450f8517588197c9b04f5068ed4300/detail/?apply=1&ref=indeed&v=30&utm_source=indeed&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=indeed_optical

http://www.careerbuilder.com/jobseeker/jobs/jobdetails.aspx?APath=2.21.0.0.0&job_did=JHN0KY6823WBWZX21VM&showNewJDP=yes&IPath=JRKV0F

http://www.simplyhired.com/job/front-desk-receptionist-customer-service-sales-job/rosin-optical-co-inc/qaeoquzgdi?cid=ivdnhijkmxchdanahwfoupazcwisfnxt

http://www.simplyhired.com/job/receptionist-front-desk-job/all-us-jobs/fonj7wmldf?cid=trhyvmfcsgjltxkjxkemyinsjveewfjp

Other jobs you don’t need a degree for that aren’t retail:

Dental hygenist ( yeah, seriously, who knew!) They also make about 40,000 a year)

Stenographer-Court Reporter

Surveyer ( you need a certificate for this, but its something you can get while working a temporary job and doing this on the side. Also, they make like $55,000 a year sooooooo) https://sjobs.brassring.com/TGWEbHost/jobdetails.aspx?jobId=1406428&PartnerId=16023&SiteId=5118&codes=IND

Real Estate Broker

Purchasing agents, except wholesale, retail, and farm products ( basically you arrange to buy large things) they make like 60K

Claims adjuster 

Loan Officer

Subway driver (trains) they make like 60K,

Duct Cleaner: http://jobview.monster.com/Duct-Cleaners-950-00-Weekly-Entry-Level-Flexible-Hours-Call-to-Apply-Job-Chicago-IL-US-161970321.aspx?intcid=re

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OH MY GOD