cognito-ergo-hazard - Tumblr blog

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#but yknow #not a bad thing to tell a simple story very well

no for sure. but the opening titlecards explicitly spell out the central metaphor, which spends almost the entire runtime getting progressively more hamfisted, culminating in a hilariously clumsy reference to the underground railroad ("what if i go north? disappear? would you come after me? hurt me?" "no")

and yet its a fantastic movie. one of the best ever made. imho any discussion of it that ignores how good it is OR how much it sucks is catastrophically incomplete

I saw blade runner for the first time a couple days ago and now whenever I do anything that feels a little like I could die no matter how safe (eg, rock-climbing with a belay) IT'S A SHAME SHE WON'T LIVE, BUT THEN AGAIN WHO DOES? plays in my head

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it's a true masterpiece* in which rutger hauer gives the performance of the century, and it deserves every scrap of its position in culture. it also sucks ass and is literally just a 2-hour het-romance version this comic

until i saw Bottoms (2023) it was my go-to example of what i mean by "and" when i say i like movies that are good and/or bad

*assuming we're talking about a version that doesnt have decker's internal monologue narrating everything in voiceovers, since it's also the skyrim of movies (has been released way too many times)

I saw blade runner for the first time a couple days ago and now whenever I do anything that feels a little like I could die no matter how safe (eg, rock-climbing with a belay) IT'S A SHAME SHE WON'T LIVE, BUT THEN AGAIN WHO DOES? plays in my head

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Rebel Without a Cause (1955)

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this is a movie about why enshittification is inevitable under capitalism, and it's 71 years older than the word "enshittification"

the textile union marches on the boss's office and gets told "labor and capital are united in this"

go watch it

if you consider yourself a leftist of any stripe (incl. post-left anarchist, so dont start) you need to watch The Man in the White Suit (1951)

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if you consider yourself a leftist of any stripe (incl. post-left anarchist, so dont start) you need to watch The Man in the White Suit (1951)

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that's just what boom mic guys do

why was the saw boom mic guy serving cunt

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movies where a promising young medical student faces commits flagrant ethical violations in the name of helping patients that the medical establishment insists are beyond help, resulting in both ineffectual academic censure and the death of the female lead

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i just watched this movie because of this post, and

1) it feels like a crime to give Wellman full credit for this without mentioning cinematographer Harry Perry or uncredited co-director Harry d'Abbadie d'Arrast, because

2) this isnt even the coolest shot in the movie. imo that distinction goes to an early shot of david and sylvia on a swing, where the camera is mounted to the swing with them and pans between them before jack comes running up out of the background and grabs them by the shoulders to prove it's not a projected background

Before camera cranes were invented, William A. Wellman pulled off this tracking shot in WINGS (1927). It was the first Best Picture Oscar winner.

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Before camera cranes were invented, William A. Wellman pulled off this tracking shot in WINGS (1927). It was the first Best Picture Oscar winner.

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there honestly wasnt much worth commenting on, aside from an extra with no lines that i have dubbed Dykey Kong

(numbers are good/bad/fun/total)

im less than a minute and a half into Super Mario Bros. (1993) including the studio logos and i've already had my first wtf moment

and my second wtf moment, which was about the fact that i did not remotely expect my first wtf moment to be "why are the dinosaurs italian?"

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watching the new one now. i reached mario less than a minute ago. how is this already worse?

im less than a minute and a half into Super Mario Bros. (1993) including the studio logos and i've already had my first wtf moment

and my second wtf moment, which was about the fact that i did not remotely expect my first wtf moment to be "why are the dinosaurs italian?"

[cognito-ergo-hazard]

that... was an experience. its not good but i certainly had a time watching it

im less than a minute and a half into Super Mario Bros. (1993) including the studio logos and i've already had my first wtf moment

and my second wtf moment, which was about the fact that i did not remotely expect my first wtf moment to be "why are the dinosaurs italian?"

[cognito-ergo-hazard]

nvm they called king koopa "fascist" and "oppressor of the proletariat" but apparently theyre just royalists who hate him for being a usurper

im less than a minute and a half into Super Mario Bros. (1993) including the studio logos and i've already had my first wtf moment

and my second wtf moment, which was about the fact that i did not remotely expect my first wtf moment to be "why are the dinosaurs italian?"

[cognito-ergo-hazard]

apparently getting put in the eugenics machine to make them smarter turned the goons into communists??

im less than a minute and a half into Super Mario Bros. (1993) including the studio logos and i've already had my first wtf moment

and my second wtf moment, which was about the fact that i did not remotely expect my first wtf moment to be "why are the dinosaurs italian?"

[cognito-ergo-hazard]

ok wow this movie got super racist super fast, but specifically in ways that arent immediately obvious if you don't know a whole bunch about racism. theyre doing eugenic phrenology

im less than a minute and a half into Super Mario Bros. (1993) including the studio logos and i've already had my first wtf moment

and my second wtf moment, which was about the fact that i did not remotely expect my first wtf moment to be "why are the dinosaurs italian?"

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Ugh

their lawyer: i'm larry lazard, of lazard, lazard, conda, dactyl, and cohen

im less than a minute and a half into Super Mario Bros. (1993) including the studio logos and i've already had my first wtf moment

and my second wtf moment, which was about the fact that i did not remotely expect my first wtf moment to be "why are the dinosaurs italian?"

[cognito-ergo-hazard]

daisy: they're destroying everything under the sump pump! thank goodness you're here! luigi: ...what? daisy: well you're a plumber, aren't you? luigi: oh! right! i'm a plumber! i know exactly what to do! [smash cut] luigi: mario! we need your help!

im less than a minute and a half into Super Mario Bros. (1993) including the studio logos and i've already had my first wtf moment

and my second wtf moment, which was about the fact that i did not remotely expect my first wtf moment to be "why are the dinosaurs italian?"