cokezerobeetle

[cokezerobeetle]

ana come back home (my body) the kids (my waist) miss you

[cokezerobeetle]

Eating disorders aren’t about how often you eat. They’re about how you feel about eating. I see you ♡

[cokezerobeetle]

So this is silly but I’m dwelling on it.

I have an eating disorder, and I also have anxiety. I’ve experienced depression. I have C-PTSD. It’s known that a lot of mental illnesses are comorbid and play hand in hand with one another. For years now, I’ve speculated that I may have OCD too but not diagnosed. I haven’t been able to see a psych doctor in the past few years bc of my health insurance. But i’ve recently found out that OCD & anxiety can be very comorbid as well as OCD & ED’s. But I wonder, what came first? Did my ED onset OCD? Did my anxiety and depression onset an ED? Did my CPTSD onset depression and anxiety?

[cokezerobeetle]

If youre looking for sugar free and low carb snacks I recommend the brand Choc Zero. They've been kind of a lifesaver tbh. Their freeze dried mini marshmallows are so yum and satisfies my sweet tooth

sharing to remember and show others as well. I’m gonna look into this bc idk if i’ve ever seen or heard of this before. I do have a sweet tooth and I personally love the dark chocolate zero sugar reeces and hershey’s bars.

[cokezerobeetle]

i’ve not worn my watch in so many days bc i’ve been so lazy, but at the same time we’re moving soon so we’ve been busy packing and stuff. I know i’ve gotten way more steps than my phone lets on so i’m charging my watch. Bc at midnight, i’m gonna work on my steps again. I think i’m also gonna pick up more muscle toning exercises like squats and other gentle stuff bc I mean I don’t want to be skinny fat, but right now i’m just fat. so i’d rather have more toned body with fat or muscles to raise my BMR too

[cokezerobeetle]

i’m actually addicted to greek salads

[cokezerobeetle]

I also came back to share this too lmfao idk how good or low cal this actually is but

[cokezerobeetle]

btw i’m still alive i’ve been eating so healthy lowkey like food choice wise

my meals have been like all greek yogurt, protein shakes, grapefruit, salad, vegetables, lean meats.

I haven’t been calorie tracking but just being very mindful of what I’m eating. What I haven’t been doing is keeping my watch charged so my steps tracked vs. what I actually walked is way off bc my phone is ass at picking them up.

We’re moving into a new apartment soon with a pool and an indoor gym so basically free treadmill?! Feeling inspired again bc of this upcoming move and the gym they have. Plus we’re on the third floor so I’ll be walking up and down stairs every single day.

I think I’m going to start manually tracking my own calories with my notes app to make up for working night shift since I don’t think midnight to midnight is working for me anymore. Time for wake to sleep.

[cokezerobeetle]

my day has been horrible but I had the most yummy and delicious greek feta salad and it was huge and only like 300 cal for the whole thing #bulkeating

[cokezerobeetle]

oh my god fuck my stupid fucking gay ass life

[cokezerobeetle]

daydreaming about being much thinner than I am now

[cokezerobeetle]

being short and fat might be the worst thing the universe has given me

[cokezerobeetle]

my ed friends on step up always beat me in steps I fr have got to get better bc i’ll be getting like 4k and they are easily 10k, 15k, 25k daily

[cokezerobeetle]

I love your pfp its so funny

tysm lmfao 😭 I love spongebob like unironically, it was my childhood show and that picture captures an average day of having both IBS and an ED so I think it’s hilariously on brand

[cokezerobeetle]

actually had a 2 day straight binge of fast food and snack cakes and cookies, and like had a sobering moment of being like “yeah i need to stop doing this” lmfao, anyways finally bought my own groceries and actually have low cal food to eat again. Gotta get straight after my food bender. Charging my watch now to get a few thousand steps in today. Trying to put that thought in my mind that goes “you’re not just going to WANT to do it again, you have to make yourself do it. You’re not gonna WANT to exercise, but you have to.

[cokezerobeetle]

it is so crazy how I can eat nearly 1500 cals in one meal and fuck up a whole days work

[cokezerobeetle]

me rn 😭

editing ur cw on edblr when you gained is a whole different type of embarrassing