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Another Fast Week

Well Friends we made it to the end of week. This week felt so short. Isn’t it funny how some weeks pull us along at a fast clip and others are sluggish and painful? Some people tell me that people with a purpose experience time moving faster than others. I guess that is partially true. The energy of time is a lot like money. If you hold onto it tightly it does not flow. A fast moving week is a…

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Un-Holidays

Our heroes wrapped up their first season of tackle football. No surprises there. Max took on every tackle and offensive move possible. He told me several times when he was strategizing for his next attack he would tell himself, “This one is for my Mom.” Fin witnessed a broken tibia during their first game. Consequently he minimized all physical engagement. He did enjoy the camaraderie. Max…

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Summer Thoughts from Colleen

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Random Thoughts from Colleen - April 16, 2023

Well Friends and Family, I was about to head out to a flying lesson and May Gray had other plans. In San Diego we experience “May Gray” and “June Gloom”. During these months the coast is socked in with heavy cloud cover and grays skies like an early winter morning in Bridgeport. My Pop went to elementary school in Bridgeport. He was confused by the stories of “clear blue skies”. He only knew…

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49-61-50

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Wrapping Presents Wrapping Knees

Wrapping Presents Wrapping Knees

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COVID Halloween 2020

Goodness - This Girl forgot to post this last Halloween. This year has been crazy from so many perspectives. Have a wonderful day! Love, Colleen

** Somehow I missed posting this last year! At first it wasn’t clear if Halloween was going to be cancelled this year. COVID has swooped in and taken away all of the marbles – especially from children. I was pleasantly surprised by a fun and creative holiday. People figured out ways to give out treats with no contact. People shot candy through tubes and had individual treat bags. It was clever.…

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COVID Halloween 2020

** Somehow I missed posting this last year! At first it wasn’t clear if Halloween was going to be cancelled this year. COVID has swooped in and taken away all of the marbles – especially from children. I was pleasantly surprised by a fun and creative holiday. People figured out ways to give out treats with no contact. People shot candy through tubes and had individual treat bags. It was clever.…

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Boys and birthdays

J.T. – high school senior Somehow the birthdays, anniversaries and holidays roll along. My friend, Kathy, explained to me that life is like a toilet paper roll. At the beginning you’ve got a lot of paper. Everyday seems fresh. There are endless days ahead of you. As you get older the roll gets smaller and it rolls over much faster. The years move quickly as the paper starts to disappear. As I…

[colcot]

Boys and birthdays

J.T. – high school senior Somehow the birthdays, anniversaries and holidays roll along. My friend, Kathy, explained to me that life is like a toilet paper roll. At the beginning you’ve got a lot of paper. Everyday seems fresh. There are endless days ahead of you. As you get older the roll gets smaller and it rolls over much faster. The years move quickly as the paper starts to disappear. As I…

[colcot]

Boys and birthdays

J.T. – high school senior Somehow the birthdays, anniversaries and holidays roll along. My friend, Kathy, explained to me that life is like a toilet paper roll. At the beginning you’ve got a lot of paper. Everyday seems fresh. There are endless days ahead of you. As you get older the roll gets smaller and it rolls over much faster. The years move quickly as the paper starts to disappear. As I…

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2021

I have a few theories. They don’t have to make sense – judge away. One of my theories is based upon the night of New Year’s Eve. As we nailed 2020 into a cheap pine box and loaded it onto a rusty truck bed we couldn’t be bothered to slow down. That box had to to be tossed into a landfill a decades we didn’t pause. We dropped it and pressed the gas. A roaring flame instantly took over the casket…

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September Fly Out with the San Diego 99's

This Girl's 1st time as a Co-Pilot

The 99’s bring good fortune everywhere we go.  This Saturday, after weeks of smoky skies from neighboring fires, the sky cooperated and gave us clear blue skies perfect for travel.  The 99’s assembled at MYF Montgomery Gibbs and climbed into respective Cesnas to head to F70 French Valley for what we affectionally call “the $100 hamburger”.

Each pilot selected their route. I was extra lucky…

[colcot]

September Fly Out with the San Diego 99's

This Girl's 1st time as a Co-Pilot

The 99’s bring good fortune everywhere we go.  This Saturday, after weeks of smoky skies from neighboring fires, the sky cooperated and gave us clear blue skies perfect for travel.  The 99’s assembled at MYF Montgomery Gibbs and climbed into respective Cesnas to head to F70 French Valley for what we affectionally call “the $100 hamburger”.

Each pilot selected their route. I was extra lucky…

[colcot]

September Fly Out with the San Diego 99's

September Fly Out with the San Diego 99’s

The 99’s bring good fortune everywhere we go.  This Saturday, after weeks of smoky skies from neighboring fires, the sky cooperated and gave us clear blue skies perfect for travel.  The 99’s assembled at MYF Montgomery Gibbs and climbed into respective Cesnas to head to F70 French Valley for what we affectionally call “the $100 hamburger”.  

Each pilot selected their route. I was extra lucky…

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Somehow our heroes snuck in another birthday.  It doesn’t feel real because of the surreal environment we are in.  Fin and Max did not have a traditional birthday party due to our uninvited guest – The Virus.  Nonetheless, they are now in the double digits as 10 year olds.

GiGi ordered fancy cupcakes and made a verbal contract to provide bikes later. They delivered some cupcakes to their friend Ben, his Mother and Grandmother (“Nana”). Ben used to be their next door neighbor and is sorely missed. It would have been especially nice to have him across the fence during the pandemic isolation.  The boys get bored of each other. At the same time they are lucky to have one another in this time of isolation.

Fin was annoyed and frustrated to not have had “a real birthday party’. They both were celebrated on their Zoom sessions with their classmates. This time there were no silly hats, cupcakes or juice boxes to interupt the classroom routine. The lack of celebration and adoration annoyed our blonde Hero.

Max’s teacher, Mrs. Carroll, dropped off a Hostess cupcake and a candle.  It was a nice do-it-yourself gesture.  Max blew out the candle on his classroom Zoom call.  She had dropped off two cupcakes earlier with some school supplies.  The boys ate them not knowing they were for their birthdays.  Fortunately she was willing to swing by again. 

Their classes each sang Happy Birthday to them on their Zoom calls.  It just wasn’t the same.  Not even close.  Forced fun rarely succeeds – especially online. We made the best of it and carried on.

It was an act of God to get Max to get into the car to go pick up the cupcakes from GiGi. He was screaming and twisting around frantically. He is terrified of being in groups of people that are not wearing masks. After yelling and tears he reluctantly agreed to go to the bakery in Pacific Beach.

By the time we arrived at the bakery I was mentally and physically exhausted.  The cherry on top was it was located in the same plaza that ran a key play leading to my separation and pending divorce.  GiGi had no way of knowing this of course.  On a regular day without all that drama it would not have been noticed.

As I walked up to the bakery, it felt like the unique kind of flogging one receives on a long airplane flight only to be told one’s luggage is lost. The kind of journey when you can’t sleep, people are hacking their plague filled lunges and someone’s “cute kid” is constantly kicking your chair.  The whole virus experience gives a sense of endless jet lag. It doesn’t take much to arrogate an already road weary traveler. 

In San Diego many people don’t bother with a mask and consider it their right to do what they please. It is selfish at best.  One of Pop’s sayings always comes to mind when I see someone demonstrating their rights not to wear a mask.  In this type of situation he would declare, “There are no shortage of assholes.  They are making them everyday.”  The not wearing of masks has adopted a political weight. I wish there were heavy fines for this. It is dangerous to everyone.  The lack of a mask also amplifies the radio waves of fear the Max and some other people already hears as a loud drumming beat.

A neighbor turned 100 years old about the same time as our Heroes’ birthday. He had a parade of cars honking in his honor. His church organized an outdoor party with social distancing. A local TV station came.  He was the evening human interest story because he had lived a long life and is still alive despite the Virus.

Fin made a spectacular poster birthday card for him. It was featured on the news. Finny was particularly proud that his artwork gained notoriety. The old man saved Fin’s poster and has it hanging in his living room.  I wish I had a photo of it to show off. It was blue with streamers and lots of bright colors.

It was nice to honor the centenarian.  Many people drove by in a parade of cars and bikes to wish him well. Every drive by horn honking “Happy Birthday” hammered home the lack of a celebration for the boys.  It sounds selfish but it was true. The Virus stole their birthday parties.

Fin had been planning on a day at LegoLand and an overnight stay at the LegoLand Castle Hotel with his buddies. Max had been looking forward to renting a video game truck. He planned to play hours of video games in a dimly lit party truck and share street tacos with his gaming friends.

Instead they were stuck with their parents and GiGi on FaceTime. It was nice to have the presents, gift cards and the attention. It wasn’t quite enough. Ice cream and cupcakes taste better when shared with your own generation. They longed to hang with their friends. That wasn’t in the cards due to the contagious nature of the Virus.

The presence of the Virus forces our children to grow up faster than necessary. Without play dates, parks and swimming pools they are isolated.  They are pushed into maturity before it makes sense. Solitary confinement is not pleasant for any age. Separation from the herd is a punishment and a health risk. Children without friends resemble forgotten elderly people. Everyone wants, deserves and needs attention.  It doesn’t have to be constant.  It doesn’t have to be an audience.  We just need to know that we are not completely alone.

The Virus and it’s Business Partner, Death, are always around. They leave calling cards of control such as a friend-of-a-friend was admitted to the hospital and another not to distant connection just succumbed to it.  They come unannounced to every birthday party, wedding and social event.

Death likes to ride the ice cubes in the punch bowl. The unlucky ladle holds his trusty boat. As his ice cube tumbles into the plastic cup, Death flashes the Virus and insider joke look. Their Mark won’t know his lack of luck for a few days. In the meantime the punch is enjoyed. and one ice cube melts faster and more delibrately than the others.

The boys want to stay boys. They want to have fun. This is a normal expectation of childhood.  They don’t want to be in “Virus jail”.  Even more so than adults, our children are experiencing undue punishment.  Yes, many children in many generations have suffered horrid tragedies.  This situation seems worse because the Enemy isn’t right in front of us.  It is everywhere and nowhere.  It just IS.

Max is able to retreat into the Sony PS4 virtual reality. That was his only thing he wanted for his birthday. Fin prefers actual reality. He scored fishing equipment and a few gift cards. He is waiting for a trampoline to become available at a local store.  Then he wants it be be hyper-local in his backyard.

Fin wants to fish, jump and do outdoor things akin to Huck Finn. He spends a lot of time in the kayak. Years ago a raft would have suited him just fine. Max is more of a Tom Sawyer. He places the cans of white paint and patiently waits for the staff to arrive to paint the fence. Supervising is more his speed.

The long term impact on the mental health of our children will take decades to ascertain.   It concerns management that they are not learning how to socialize with kids their age and other adults.  This lack of real time engagement skills coupled with abundant screen time is worrisome.  Someday this generation will be taking care of mine.  My age group already can not communicate with Millennials.  The Virus tormented generation may be even more difficult.  They will have learned to self-soothe through a strong cocktail of isolation, disappointment and fear.  We need a chaser of hope – and a strong one at that.

** My apologies.  This story was ready on the boys’ birthday, May 10, 2020.  The internet service was patchy for awhile due to the lack of bandwidth from the quarantine.  I thought it had been posted automatically as directed.  Sorry – I should have checked.

         10 on the 10th Somehow our heroes snuck in another birthday.  It doesn't feel real because of the surreal environment we are in.  

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Kaia Has a New Address Again!

Kaia Has a New Address Again!

The other day Max asked me who my “best friend” is.  I said, “Lily is my best friend.”  He asked who that is and we discussed if for awhile.  Right or wrong I acquaint “best friends” with longevity and gender similarities.  Lily has tolerated me since I was seven years old.  We met in ESOL class when she moved to D.C. from Chile.  We had secrets in Spanish, became fast friends and grew up…