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drafting chapter 14 my google search history is going to get me flagged bc I’m researching torture methods again

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"ouhhhh" is a different emotion from "ough" which is a different emotion from "augh" which is a different emotion from "wough". I could go on. and these all convey different feelings depending on spelling variation and how many "h"s you add at the end too

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this was pre leg pump btw I’m just a succulent little morsel 🦗

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*in the middle of a breakdown* Omg wait. this is just like the character

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Behold my magnum opus. Bonus pics below

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Just saw a post asking how tall people are and now I want to make it a poll. Apologies to people in the fringe height categories, you do not get specifics.

I had to consult a chart for this

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“I hate obvious symbolism” bro shut up sun and moon couples are a pillar of our society

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Won't you show me how to dance forever?

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[Can the Mysterium Xarxes lead us to Mankar Camoran?] I don’t know. Maybe. I suspect that the secret of how to open a portal to Camoran’s paradise lies within these pages. But I will need time. Tampering with dark secrets, even just reading them, can be very dangerous. I’ll have to proceed carefully.

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I may just have missed it, since I came into the Oblivion side of TES so late, but I'm surprised not to have seen anyone talking about how much of Shivering Isles is...the right term would be "wish fulfillment," I think. For the Hero of Kvatch specifically.

Particularly, I'd like to look at the siege on Passwall. The town of Passwall isn't particularly large—bigger than Hale, but that's not saying much—but it's well-protected, with a strong perimeter wall and good defenses, with a guardian literally built to purpose. It's extremely important to the Shivering Isles as a whole. It's where some of the realm's most important work is done, most notably Relmyna's fleshsmithing, and it's an important place for the people of the realm because it's where everyone starts. The citizens of Passwall are decent people with their own issues and their own stories, some make good decisions and some don't. It's the first place the Hero of Kvatch sees what the Shivering Isles are capable of, and it sets the stage for the rest of the adventure. It's where anyone who wants to move forward in their own adventure proves themselves worthy to be a subject of the Madgod, whatever that means.

Passwall is a mirror of Kvatch, as the Hero never got to see it. Kvatch wasn't particularly large—bigger than Chorrol, but that's not saying much—but it was well-protected, with a strong perimeter wall and good defenses, with a guard regiment trained to purpose. It was also extremely important to Cyrodiil as a whole. It was where some of the nation's most important work was done, being the home of the Temple of Akatosh, and it was an important place for a lot of citizens in Tamriel because Akatosh is where the Empire started. The citizens of Kvatch were, and the handful left still are, decent people with their own issues and their own stories, some of which made good decisions and some of which didn't. It's the first place the Hero of Kvatch saw what the Oblivion Crisis was capable of, and set the stage for the rest of the adventure. It's where the Hero of Kvatch proved themselves worthy of protecting the last heir of the Empire, whatever that meant.

But here's the key difference: they reached Kvatch too late. By the time they got there, the Great Gate that ripped the city apart had served its purpose and been closed, leaving the city in ruins and the vast majority of its citizens dead. There was hope that there may have been some survivors left in the castle, but it was just hope, and it ended up being for nothing; everyone who wasn't in the temple was dead, and very few of the handful of guards would survive the ensuing struggle.

The hero of Kvatch was forced to push through alone, into the oldest, most defensible structure in the area, the castle, leaving the guard behind to hold off the horde while they attempted to find something that made those losses worth it, some hint of life left in the midst of the maelstrom—and they failed. The leader of Kvatch, Count Goldwine, was dead by the time the Hero found him. They'd never know exactly how he died or how many people died with him, and in the end they couldn't even retrieve his body, only a symbol of his office to bring to his last surviving guard.

The Hero couldn't even help to rebuild Kvatch, and the few citizens left would spend the rest of the story lamenting the deaths of their loved ones in a makeshift settlement a mile outside the home they loved so much.

In contrast, when Order lays siege to Passwall, the Hero is notified immediately. The city is ransacked and the citizens have disappeared by the time they get there—either having abandoned the town, been struck down, or turned traitor—but there's still a full regiment of Saints or Seducers left to push back Jyggalag's forces. And, most importantly, even if every single one of those defenders dies in the ensuing struggle, they'll come back. They're Sheogorath's personal dremora, it's impossible to lose any of them forever. They'll all be back, all it takes is some determination and patience on the Hero's part, and they'll get to see every one of them again.

The Hero of Kvatch pushes through alone, into the oldest, most defensible structure in the area, Xeddefen, without hope for survivors but for a chance to deactivate the Obelisk that's ripping the Fringe apart—and they find a survivor. Not just any survivor, either, but the leader of Passwall, Mayor Shelden, who tells the Hero exactly what happened, how he wound up here, what's happening. Instead of running away, he throws himself into the fray and helps the Hero fight off the forces of Order, knowing that at least one of the priests is a friend who betrayed him, because protecting his city is worth more than his life or his own feelings. The Hero of Kvatch personally deactivates the Obelisk, in the exact way they weren't able to close the Great Gate.

When the Greymarch ends, Passwall is restored to its former state. The people return to the homes they lost, the Hero of Kvatch has crafted them a new guardian to make sure this never happens again, and life goes on.

This happens over and over throughout the story of the Shivering Isles, including the very end: Martin was forced to give himself up forever, taking hold of a role and power he never wanted to protect people that didn't know him, losing himself to Akatosh and leaving his people without a leader. Jyggalag was at last able to return to himself, freed from a role and power he never wanted that forced him to rule over a sphere that would never understand him, finding himself once more and leaving the people he'd ruled over as Sheogorath with the Hero of Kvatch as their leader, someone who had already proven how far they would go to protect them.

I think the Shivering Isles presents the happiest ending the Hero of Kvatch could ever have. It's not a true do-over, not really, but it's as close as they could ever get—and this time they know exactly what to do to make sure things turn out right. What happier ending could a hero whose story is built on failure and death and sacrifice possibly want?

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imperial bridge inn

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i need a pervert who’s obsessed with me so i can be a pervert who’s obsessed with them

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reblog for better sample size

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the em dash calls to me like the green goblin mask whenever I’m writing a fic

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girlfriend: why don’t you take off that battle armor and slip into something a bit more…..comfortable

me: i am most comfortable when i am impervious to most physical forms of attack