collectionsofawriter

[collectionsofawriter]

Inside Joke Chapter 1

Summary: Derek Hale moved to North Carolina after high school and never looked back. Only now, Stiles and Lydia are getting married and he needs a date to the wedding. Who better than his best friend? Pairing: Derek Hale x OC Word Count: 1,271 Warnings: mild cursing, slow burn A/N: This is my first time ever sharing a piece of my writing, and it was more than a little terrifying, so please be gentle! I welcome any and all criticism, because I want to become a stronger writer, but I also want to share my writings so please be kind and offer suggestions, not hate! This is for @stiles-o-dylan24​ 1K Celebration, with the prompt "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were trying to seduce me.” It’s a Fake Wedding Date AU! and a Best Friends to Lovers AU! that will be multiple chapters, so enjoy! And congratulations Ellie!! Also, this is not my gif, all credits go to rightful owner!

Slamming the door behind him with such force it rattled in its frame, Derek Hale stalked towards his kitchen groaning. 

In his kitchen, standing at the stove, stood his best friend, wearing sweatpants and a tank top, cooking pasta for the two of them. Seeing him, she started laughing, saying, “What did that door do to you?” 

Derek collapsed in one of the bar stools they had, groaning once more. “It’s not the door Rach. It’s California.” 

Looking at him quizzically, she said, “Alright, I’ll bite. What’s the matter with California? It’s not rapidly sinking into the ocean is it?”

“I wish it was,” Derek mumbled into his hands. “It would make life easier.” Seeing the look on her face that he still wasn’t making any sense, he continued, “Stiles and Lydia are getting married.”

“And? Haven’t those two been in love since high school? Isn’t it about time they get married?” Rachel gasped. “You’re not secretly harboring feelings for one of them, are you?”

This got Derek to pick his head up out his hands in shock. However, seeing the joking look on Rachel’s face, it forced him to laugh at the thought of Stiles and Lydia being with anyone else, least of all him. 

Pleased with herself at the fact that she managed to cheer Derek up slightly, Rachel turned back to the pasta, praying it hadn’t burned. “Okay, so since that obviously isn’t the issue. What’s going on?”

Derek stood up from the bar stool and walked over to the fridge, pulling a beer out. Leaning against the counter, he brought the beer to his lips and took a long sip before speaking, “So I know I screwed up. I’m fully aware of this fact, but in my defense, I panicked. Anyway, the pack’s been on me for years about how I’m the only one who didn’t move back to Beacon Hills after college, and they were always asking me what was so special about North Carolina that made me stay. And I didn’t have the heart to tell them that I just didn’t want to move back home, so I lied and told them I have a girlfriend here who didn’t want to leave North Carolina, and I didn’t want to leave her.”

Rachel whipped around and whacked Derek with the dish towel that she had hanging on her shoulder. “What the actual fuck were you thinking, Derek?” She yelled.

Jumping away from Rachel’s odd weapon of choice, he tried to explain himself. “I know I messed up! I believe I said that at the very beginning! And I’m not done! But you need to put the towel down before I tell you anything else.”

Sighing, Rachel put the towel down on the counter behind her. Crossing her arms, she waited for Derek to continue to explain the mess he had made for himself. “Anyway, when I got the wedding invite, Lydia called me and told me she wanted me to bring the girl who was special enough to keep me away from home. I didn’t really think anything of it at the time, figuring I would just show up to the wedding and say we broke up, and then when they started trying to convince me to move back to Beacon Hills, I’d say we got back together.”

Rachel looked at him, still not believing his poorly thought out plan of having an imaginary girlfriend. Shaking her head, she said, “Okay, not the best plan you’ve ever had, but that still doesn’t explain why you’re so grumpy now, and why you almost broke the door coming in here.”

Derek groaned, mostly at the fact that he knew Rachel was going to hit him again once he finally told her the whole truth. “So Stiles called me on my way back from work. We were talking about the wedding, and before he hung up he told me how excited Lydia was to finally meet my girlfriend. Which led me to the mistake of telling him that she’s super excited to meet everyone from home too, and can’t wait for the wedding next weekend. And thus, my whole plan of us breaking up and then getting back together has been destroyed. And I don’t know what to do.”

“I’ll do it.”

The beer that had only just entered Derek’s mouth was quickly spat out at Rachel’s statement. Sputtering, he managed to croak out, “I’m sorry, you’ll do what?!”

Handing him a paper towel to clean up the beer left on his chin and falling onto the gray button down he wore, Rachel said, “I’ll be your fake girlfriend for the wedding.”

Taking the towel, desperately dabbing at his shirt, hoping to soak up as much beer as he could before his shirt was stained, Derek asked, “Why? Why would you do that? No. No, I can’t ask you to do that.”

“Because I’m your friend, dumbass. And you’re not asking, I’m offering. Besides, the way I see it, you only have two other options: you either hire an expensive escort to be your fake girlfriend, or you tell the pack the truth, thus hurting them and making them question what else you’ve lied about. All before Stiles and Lydia’s wedding – and I’m sure they won’t thank you for that. Hence, going with Plan Me.”

“Rach, are you absolutely sure about this?”

“Yes. It’ll be easy, we already know each other pretty well, and there won’t be much to lie about, we’re just gonna have to get a little more touchy,” Rachel winked.

Derek laughed before joking, “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to seduce me.”

This earned him another whack with the dish towel Rachel had picked up earlier, needing something to fiddling when offering to be Derek’s fake girlfriend in front of his oldest friends and family. “Oh shut up Derek,” she rolled her eyes. “And go wash your hands – the pasta is almost ready.”

Laughing, Derek headed towards his room to change. As he did so, he thought back to the very first time he had met Rachel.

It was early in his freshmen year at UNC Chapel Hill. Derek was at a frat party with some guys from him dorm. Holding red solo cups filled to the brim from the keg, they leant up against a wall, talking and eyeing the freshmen girls dancing. The boys were taking bets on who had the best chance of getting at least a conversation out of one of the girls.

Derek had unfortunately been the one dared to go and ask one of the girls to dance.

Walking backwards, he spread his arms out, saying, “Watch and learn boys. Watch and learn.”

One of the boys, Derek thought his name was Jake, hollered back, “Okay Hale! Whatever helps you sleep at night!”

Rolling his eyes and chuckling at the boys, Derek spun on his heel and slammed right into a girl about his age, spilling his drink all over her. Panicked, Derek began to furiously pat at her collarbone and chest, frantically apologizing, “Oh god, I am so sorry! I wasn’t paying attention at all! I’m so sorry!”

Laughing, the girl reached up and grabbed Derek’s wrists, effectively stilling them. “Woah there, buddy. Watch those hands. If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were trying to seduce me,” she joked, throwing a wink his way. 

Flabbergasted at her boldness, all Derek could think of doing was, “Um…I’m Derek,” sticking his right hand out for her to shake.

“Rachel,” she said, taking his hand.

And from that moment on they were inseparable.

[collectionsofawriter]

there’s a portrait of cedric diggory in the hufflepuff common room.

nobody knows who painted it. the other houses speculate, but the hufflepuffs know not to ask, because that’s not really what’s important.

it’s one of the moving ones, of course. sometimes cedric isn’t in it - it’s said that the portrait has a twin, over amos diggory’s fireplace, and cedric always loved his father. but he’s there enough, smiling down at the hufflepuffs who congregate in the common room, watching them as they go about their lives.

the portrait is by the door, next to one of the overstuffed yellow chairs. students sit there to talk to cedric, with some modicum of privacy. at first, it was his friends, the people who knew him and miss him and love him. but as time went on it became those who knew him by reputation. kids seeking advice, help with homework. someone to talk to, on a long and cold night. gradually, he became a legend, spoke in hushed whispers to the first-years as they came in. if you’re ever in trouble, talk to cedric. he’ll always help you.

after the battle of hogwarts, when the furniture was mended and the new students hesitantly made their way in, there was another portrait next to it, of hufflepuff’s favoured daughter. tonks, known by one name only, blew painted bubbles from her world of acrylic and canvas. while students came to cedric for help and advice, they came to tonks to ask questions. she would tell the most wicked stories, and some of them were even true. when someone needed cheering up, when they were wanting to brainstorm their next epic prank, they went to tonks.

she wasn’t always there, either. another portrait above a cot, where a baby with shocking blue hair could look at it and laugh. but when she was, she was always happy to have people come to her. when they did, it felt like she wasn’t just paint and canvas. she felt alive.

hufflepuffs look after their own, you see. dead or alive.

[collectionsofawriter]

[collectionsofawriter]

Headcanon that McGonagall is offended on a personal level that Umbridge loves cats. 

[collectionsofawriter]

the only good news to come out of 2016

[collectionsofawriter]

#me #every morning

[collectionsofawriter]

Whenever Hagrid finally decides to retire as Care of Magical Creatures professor you can bet your last knut that Charlie Weasley flies back to England the following week excitedly waving his resume and recommendation letters from no less than two Scamanders and the Minister of Magic, Hermione Granger.

[collectionsofawriter]

So if Marvel isn’t going to give us Peggy Carter back in the MCU…

We’d like a full biography of everything that happened in MCU Peggy’s life, from birth to death please. Tell us who she’s met, her relationship with them, if her brother’s not dead, her reaction to him returning, her connection with Sharon (because right now nobody can figure out how they’re related if Michael’s been dead since 1940), tell us who she married and how long they were married, tell us how she was connected to President John F. Kennedy, all the stuff she’s done with SHIELD, the SSR, the SOE, and at Bletchley Park, and we’d really like to know about her kids! Pretty much anything you can tell us about Peggy that we don’t already know.

Just a simple request Marvel.

[collectionsofawriter]

Positive parts of 2016

- the rise of old friends senior dog sanctuary - Hamilton - pokemon go - female ghostbusters - i don’t give a fuck im outta here Obama - captain america civil war - girl, black guy and latino guy leads in new star wars - deadpool - lemonade - literally???! Nothing??? Else????

[collectionsofawriter]

Ah yes, because the princesses have been such terrible role models. They have taught such horrific lessons such as…

Stop pitting female characters against each other. 

A dress is not a weakness.

[collectionsofawriter]

Watch: The most wonderful moment of joy came when he entered a Nazi guard bungalow.

[collectionsofawriter]

Reblog if you’re currently writing a novel, even if it’s only in your head or scribbled in the back of a notebook somewhere.

Think about how many books don’t exist yet.

[collectionsofawriter]

Molly and Arthur Weasley raised seven kids on one government salary.

Molly and Arthur Weasley raised those seven children to be courageous and loyal and kind.

Molly and Arthur Weasley were purebloods who made it a point to be known as “the biggest blood traitors there are”.

Molly and Arthur Weasley raised Fred and George during their accidental magic stages without letting the house burn down.

Molly and Arthur Weasley treated Harry as their own child, not because of his fame, but because he was Ron’s friend and he was in desperate need of a family.

Molly and Arthur Weasley made sure that everyone who entered their home felt loved and cared for and well fed.

Molly and Arthur Weasley won money and spent it on a family trip to see their son and help their daughter out of the depression she was sinking into.

Molly and Arthur Weasley sent Easter eggs and Christmas sweaters and fudge to their children while making sure to include enough for friends.

Molly and Arthur Weasley went out of their way to secure two tickets to the Quidditch World Cup on top of the eight for their own family, just to ensure that Hermione and Harry were included.

Molly and Arthur Weasley warned Harry about Sirius Black and tried to keep him with them after Voldemort’s return and tried to shield him from Order business because they remembered how young he was, how utterly unfair it was for the world to expect so much from him.

Molly and Arthur Weasley are so damn important.

[collectionsofawriter]

[collectionsofawriter]

Draco Malfoy in the books

If you didn’t read the books you wouldn’t know…

Draco Malfoy personally made the Potter stinks buttons and nobody could fix them to say Harry was cool and crap, if they tried it would only make the insults worse

You wouldn’t know Draco Malfoy was always right behind Hermione in grades

You wouldn’t know Draco was seriously the most animated person at school and acted out everything. 

You wouldn’t know Draco got deeply offended when people didn’t laugh at his jokes

You wouldn’t now Draco created the Weasley is our King song, tune and all. (Probably in the shower or something because he’s such a weenie) 

You wouldn’t know Draco and Ron got into a fist fight in their first year

You wouldn’t know about the huge knock down drag out between Draco, Harry and the rest of the Slytherin and Gryffindor quidditch team in their fifth year. (Harry  and Draco just heckin tackle each other rand start whooping each others asses and it’s amazing.)

You would miss out on basically everything Draco says and does. He’s a walking gold mind and It’s upsetting the movies didn’t devote a few seconds for any of his crap (Azkaban did an okay job) 

You wouldn’t know about the Weasley is our king buttons he made in fifth year either

You wouldn’t know Draco didn’t actually try and fight a Hippogriff he was just petting him and offhandedly said that he was ugly. He didn’t sprint over to him, he actually did all the bowing and what not.

If you didn’t read the books you wouldn’t know that Draco is the most annoyingly smart and artistic little crap you’ve ever heard of. 

[collectionsofawriter]

pros and cons of gryffindor house

pros:

enthusiastic and willing to help

they’re the kid who gets stuck holding the door for everyone, but they’re grinning the entire time

brave enough to be the one to order pizza

protective of everyone, it doesn’t matter who they are

loud and powerful

beautiful and radiant as the freaking sun you will remember them

cons:

loud as hell

big on trying to push people far out of their comfort zones

tend to be conceited 

you know that kid who lectures everyone about how they should be better people and then just sort of turns around and bullies the class jerk? they’re probably a gryffindor

and they probably think they’re helping the class

they always want to be the best

over the top

other houses: (x) (x) (x)

[collectionsofawriter]

I hope you all find someone who never stops wanting to get to know you