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A farewell to Tumblr

Tomorrow is the end of an era for many people, me included. I know my blog isn't much more than a collection of porn that I love, but what is really ending is a wonderful community. For years, I struggled with the fact that I may be gay, and beyond that, kinky. I hated it. Hated myself. I had a plan to make it end. If I couldn't fit the norm that those who knew me were expecting, what was the point?

But I found Tumblr's gay and kinky community. Sure, I came for the porn. But I stayed for the community. People who lived the way I wanted to. People who shared their experiences and wanted to help. These were not just perverts living out twisted fantasies. They were real people like me. Living, breathing people who showed me that I wasn't broken and worthless. I was just different. In a beautiful way.

Thank you to the friends I have made here. I hope we can keep in touch. I am not going to delete this blog just yet, I hope that I can still use it to communicate, at least for a while. Thank you for being wonderful and amazing and different.

Thank you for giving me my worth back. Thank you for helping me realize I don't have to hate myself. That love still exists, and the sun still shines.

Wherever we go, I will follow. I have posted the places you can find me. I hope to see you wherever we end up.

"This is the part of me that you're never ever gonna take away from me. Throw your sticks and your stones, throw your bombs and your blows, but you're not gonna break my soul."

"You did a number on me, but honestly, baby, who's counting? I did a number on you, but honestly, baby, who's counting? Who's counting... One, two, three... And all the pieces fall right into place... get caught up in the moment... so it goes..."

"Long live the walls we crashed through, all the kingdom lights shine just for me and you. And I was screaming, long live all the magic we made, and bring on all the pretenders, I'm not afraid. We will be remembered."

I love all of you. Thank you for giving me back my self-worth.

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Why is this hot?

Best way to keep a cheating boyfriend from running off, really.

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Christmas Came Early to all my followers! Enjoy it before it’s deleted.

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Just searching for a place I’ll fit in.

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Internet Safety

Amidst all of the wonderful images that tingle you from your spine to your senses, I need to take a moment and talk about something important. I need to impart some fatherly advice – and yes, for this moment, you can call me, Daddy.

BDSM has taken great strides to become a normal, regular expression of desire, emotion, and sexuality, and while impressive changes have occurred, there are still many elements that are subdued. I recognize that the internet remains the single greatest resource for Dominants and submissives to find each other. It can offer a non-judgmental forum for the discussion of interests. However, it is important to remember the world is not a place free from cruelty and malfeasance. I am largely talking to submissives here, but my comments are equally spread around. You need to remain vigilant about protecting yourself.

There are bad people in this world. There are abusers. There are extortionists. There are creepy people who follow you with the sole intent of collecting your pictures. 

I have received my share of distasteful messages, to put it lightly, and I know many boys receive terrible things too. You know that those messages don’t define you. I don’t dismiss that they can hurt, but you know that one idiot does not reflect all the wonderfulness that is you. But one can start as a simple sweet message and quickly turn into harassment. 

Now I want to turn to something we all know exists but we don’t really talk about because we get so focused on the fulfillment that tumblr can offer. For many boys, tumblr offers an expression to your sexuality. It allows you to connect people who share your interests across the broad spectrum of BDSM. This is especially true when you struggle to find people who live near you. However, online exploitation is a real threat. 

I often encourage using common sense and trusting your gut when it comes to BDSM sessions. I want you do the same when comes to online interactions. I hope share some common sense tips with you today. I am not doing this to get on a high horse. As a Dominant, I care very deeply about submissives. I understand you have a more tender heart and you try so hard to please – which is prime for people to take advantage of. My advice here is centered on individuals who have NSFW blogs and submissive-centered blogs. 

Never share your full name. Until you have known someone for a long time. I don’t care how you feel. It doesn’t matter if there is an instant connection. Guard your identity. 

Do not publicly post enough information for someone to track you down. Don’t list your city, your job, and where you can be found. Don’t make it easy for a creeper to track you down. In other words, don;’t give them enough dots to connect. It is fine to say you live in San Diego, but don’t say you are on the executive board of the lgbtq community center.  

Do not provide your cell phone number. Use a messaging application. I don’t care if you are really feeling it. Things can change very fast. Sweet can turn to scary on a dime. Always start with an app, then move to texting. 

Do not post photos that are going to also placed on a website that contains information about you (e.g. facebook, school website). Remember google image search. They can and will find you.

It is okay to be reserved with face photos. You do not have to post naked, full face photos to have a great blog. Of course share it when you have made a friend. But my point is that, you can be reserved and that’s okay. 

One message doesn’t make submission. Often “real alpha men” message a submissive and demand pictures and offerings. To hell with that. Your submission is to be earned. 

Now there is a caveat here that I know everyone is a little different. Some people are a lot more comfortable and confident about sharing information. And what’s okay. My goal in writing this is that you take steps to guard yourself. I wish everyone was wonderful, but there are some bad apples and I don’t want anything to happen to you. 

Your submissiveness should go to someone who deserves it, not someone who will take advantage of it. 

Now back to our regualrly scheduled sexiness. 

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Question: “Hi Sir. How is the best way to negotiate limits before starting a scene with a new dom? My inexperience makes me nervous about getting in over my head.”

This is a really great question, thank you for asking it. I think it can be very helpful for all inexperienced boys to take heed of such a question. I have noted time and time again how important communication is in a domination and submission interaction. Have you ever seen those statements on Recon or Grindr where they say plan to meet up in so many (e.g. 4) messages? That is just crap. If you see these those, run away! You need to establish some sort of trust through the exchange of conversation. It gives you the opportunity to feel someone out and they can learn more about you. 

I find it interesting how you use the phrase “negotiate limits.” Limits are typically non-negotiable. Meaning you tell the other party these are not going to happen during a session. For example, I, as a Dom, have limits. Things I will do not with boys, and I am not willing change my mind on them (e.g. unsafe sex). 

So here are some general steps. 

Step One: Have a conversation with yourself. You need to think about what are things you are not willing do, somewhat willing to do, and absolutely willing to do. When you are new, the number of things you are not willing to do is going to be a long list. 

I would recommend that you also flip the limits list into an interest list. In other words, “these are things I want to try.” 

Step Two: Build a rapport with the Dom. Before you even talk about limits, you need to build some sort of connection with the Dom. You are building up to the fun. 

Step Three: Pre-session rule.If you interaction is based on online connections (Recon, Grindr, A4A, or even Tumblr), you must convey your limits through that online medium. Do not show up at someone’s place and intend to convey limits. You are likely to forget something. Or maybe the session just gets started quickly because you are both very attracted to each other. 

Step Four: It can be hard to bring it up. I understand that. A good Dom should always ask what your limits are. If he does not, you can ask him what he intends to do during a session. Just so you know it is normal, I do not typically share with a boy exactly what will happen. I will lay out general things that will happen, but I will not say step by step. It takes the fun out of a session if you know exactly what is coming and when. After he gives you a basic idea you can respond that you are not really comfort with it x, y, or z.  

You can also bluntly say, ‘I am new, but these are limits right now…” You can mention that you are interested in exploring new things, but you will need him to talk you through them and you reserve the right to veto that activity. 

I would encourage you to be open to new things. You never know if you will like if you don’t try. 

Step Five: If the Dom responds that he is in control and he will decide what your limits are. End your conversation with him. He is clearly ill-equipped to work a new sub. New subs require a lot of patience and time. 

Step Six: Early in your activities if you are still quite nervous, I would recommend that you and the Dom employ the use of a safe word. I use Red and Yellow. Even though I generally hate safe words, because if I boy has to use one, it means I have failed him. Red means stop everything, the session is over. Yellow means I need a moment this is a little intense. You can also come up with some signal if you are gagged. 

Step Seven: Remember to have fun. Submission is suppose to be fun after all. It is suppose to be something you enjoy. 

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The time draws near.

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this was a good thread i saw about how of course this is all more trash coming down from the total shit that is sesta/fosta

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That would hurt even more...

Love the feeling of mesh on my skin

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That would hurt even more...

Love the feeling of mesh on my skin

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Stop Right There Boy

Yes boy, I am talking to you.

I know you are scrolling through your dashboard or perhaps even browsing around my blog. I know you are a little turned on right now. But you could be so much more, you ache to be so much more. You sit there rubbing your boy dick. You want to be a good submissive boy.

You’ve been looking at pictures and reading words. You have been letting your mind wonder. Perhaps you want a cock in your mouth. Perhaps you want to be tied up. Or perhaps you just want a man to give you the structure and desire you need in life.

What underwear do you have on tonight?

Unless it is a pair of briefs or a jock… get up right now and change. You are not be reading my words, feeling that tingle inside your ear unless you dressed in a manner that expect out of my boy.

Good boy.

That is what you want isn’t it boy? You want to be a good boy. It isn’t just to be any boy. You want to be my boy. You went through that checklist of submission yesterday. You need more. You are ready to give in. You are ready to give yourself to me. It doesn’t even matter what “it” is, you want it. You find yourself needing it. You crave it.

You are a submissive boy. You are a little bitch boy. You are a cockslut. You are a fuck toy. You are a play toy. It doesn’t matter… you want to be all of that for me.

Come sit in my lap, boy.

Come show me what you are. Show me that I can touch you. Show me that I can graze my lips along your neck. Show me that you are mine. Show me that no one else matters. Allow me to touch your soft sweet skin. Allow me to slide my hand in your underwear and hold that which is mine.

I will never force you. I will never take it in a bout of rage. You will give it all to me. You offer it to me. You will want me to take it. I will make your very soul ache by my words. I want you to accept me. I want you to give yourself to me.

Look down at your underwear boy. Are you hard? Do I have an effect on you? This crude test is simple enough to know that you want me.

My dominance is different. You know that. If you respect me, I will respect you. I will teach you. I will hold you. I will treasure you. You will be your own person, but always come home to me.

You may not be near me right now boy. But perhaps in the future, you will be. Perhaps you will be mine soon enough. I am but a simple Man. A Man who needs a boy to grow and develop as a person. I will push you, but I want you to push me even more.

So I ask you… what you have you done to show me your submission?

Have you sent me the tender gift of adoration that so lovingly adorns my lips? Have you send me a message that fills my soul? Have you read my words and know my desires?

You can keep scrolling if you like, boy. But I ask you to take a moment and accept who and what you are.

I am waiting. 

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I sure am drooling!

What does a typical edging session with you look like?

Well I would hope that nothing is ever typical. I want each session to be filled with new experiences and evolving dynamics. But that being said, I will share how I would generally approach a “garden variety” edging session.

I would normally restrain a boy. 

It is certainly possible to edge a boy when he lays flat on the couch or the floor. However, what is the fun in that? It helps to heighten a boy’s experience when you take away his mobility, when you put his body entirely in your care. I lean towards tying a boy to the bed, spread-eagle. That way, I have as much access as I would like. If he likes to squirm or may test the bonds, I may add the leather mitts to keep his hands to place. 

Obviously get him naked before you restrain him. It is a pain in the ass to deal with clothes once you’ve locked him down. 

He will be blindfolded and perhaps gagged.  

Always blindfold a boy. It augments his other senses. It makes me keen on the sensations you are applying to his body. If he is overly chatty, loud, or you just want him to be quiet, a gag is a good addition. A ball gag will do or even just stuffing his mouth with his own underwear. However, if I want a boy to focus on the fact that his mouth is made for sucking cock, I will use the pecker gag. 

Pro-Tip: Have your gear already set out next to the bed on the floor covered by a towel (so he doesn’t see). This will help you be ready to go once he is restrained. And you don’t waste time. 

I start by just touching his body 

Remember that edging is about teasing a boy. You want to stimulate him. You are in no rush. You want excite him. Running my fingers all over him. Getting his boy dick nice and hard. 

Remember that verbal communication is just as important as touching. 

You need to talk to a boy throughout the entire session. You want to get inside his head. You want him whimpering. Tell him what is about to happen to him. Tell him you are going to help him learn to be a good boy. Tell him that his is your fucking little play thing. 

Slow Strokes and Listen to his Body 

Don’t go quickly. Use lots of lube. And stroke his boy dick. All while talking to him. One of my favorite activities is to make a boy countdown the number of strokes, especially if he has to mumble through the gag. 

Listening to his body is so important. The purpose of edging is to bring him closer and closer without letting him cum. One of my frustrations with edging porn is that the guys often just jerk and pause, jerk and pause. Then he just falls over the edge and cums. No. Go slowly. Listen to the body. Teach him to hold it and breathe. 

You need to be the person that decides when he releases. (And he should ask for permission). 

Play with his hole

Almost always during an edging session, I will play with a boy’s hole. I think it adds to his stimulation. At a minimum, I will finger him. I will usually set out some toys to use on him a well. Or keep him plugged while I stroke him.  Or an aneros which I will use in conjunctions with vibrating toys.

Toys on his boy dick 

I love my magic wand. It is one of my favorite toys. It is so helpful in an edging session. And when I want to see him struggle, I will put the device right on the head of his boy dick. He will certainly tug on those restraints. You can also use a vibrator or any other stimulating toys. 

Plan for a little more 

I do like to incorporate other elements into the edging session. Just to keep a boy on his toes. It makes it more fun for the both of you. Add the nipple clamps. Use some clothes pins. Drag the riding crop across his body. Use ice cubes on him. A little icy-hot on his boy balls. Again remember the point of an edging session is to stimulate him. 

Take a Break

Sometimes when a boy does get really close, I put a cool towel on his boy dick and leave the room for ten minutes. The come back and start all over again. This can be really good for driving a boy wild and making the session last. Note however, some boys once they go soft during an edging they may not get hard again. You just need to recognize this risk. Edging can cause a sensory overload. 

Cumming with your permission

When you do get to the point that you want him to cum, make sure you have him ask and you grant it. Then stroke firmly until he explodes. Do NOT stop stroking when he starts cumming. As a Dom, you need to work out every drop. It will be sensitive. He might trash around, but you need to empty those boy balls. 

Clean Up His Mess

Finally, you do not untie him until he has cleaned up his mess. Take out the gag and feed it to him. Make sure he swallows every drop. 

Pro-Tip: His mouth may be dry from being gagged. It might be difficult for him to swallow. Have a glass of water near by for the boy. 

There you have it. That is typically what would happen in a edging session with me. I hope it is helpful to you Doms. 

To you boys reading this right now, I know you are drooling.

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“Do not fall in love with people like me. I will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth. I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people.”

— Caitlyn Siehl (via serious)