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Revisiting the College Experience for Introverts

Introverts face many obstacles in college, but by now you’ve learned that there are just as many ways to get around those obstacles. As I’ve gone through the years, I’ve been lucky enough to meet supportive people and find an organization I can be passionate about. But I’ve only shown you glimpses of my college experience, glimpses that may not match your experiences. Perhaps you’ve yet to enter college. We can describe what the college experience truly means to an introvert with metaphors.

A study from the University of Washington collected metaphors from college students in the Pacific Northwest by asking, “What does it mean to you to be a University freshman (Jorgensen-Earp and Stanton, 128)?”. Some student responses include, “stranger in a strange land” “cutting away”, “breaking away”, and “freedom” (133-4). These metaphors share a theme of “engagement”, characterized as being “without having the security of attachment to the new life at hand” (133). Security is an underlying struggle for many introverts; losing your old friends, feeling insecure about your classes or sociability, and being unsure of your prospects are some of those struggles.

In that case, let’s look at the ways college introversion can be handled through the perspective of security. Your future career holds too many possibilities to be calculated, but you can feel secure about that by picking a major close to your interests and social comfort level. You may prefer isolating yourself from society, but working on your interests and meeting like-minded people can lead to making an impact on your community. It can be daunting talking to new classmates, professors, and professionals, but there’s nothing to lose and everything to gain from having a study partner, work contact, or even someone to write your recommendation letters.

Indeed, that is what the college experience truly means: securing your place in society. Everyone in college feels as though they are a “stranger in a strange land”, breaking away from their old routines. It won’t be a perfect transition; you might stumble over your words when introducing yourself to someone, you might not make a good first impression on some people, and you might miss some opportunities. College isn’t about perfection; it’s about security.

Jorgensen-Earp, Cheryl R., and Ann Q. Staton. “Student Metaphors for the College Freshman 

Experience.” Communication Education, vol. 42, no. 2, 1 Jan. 1993, pp. 123–141. EBSCOhost, search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=eric&AN=EJ463634&site=ehost-live.

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Networking For Introverts

When you hear the word “networking”, what comes to mind? A loud, crowded mixer where you’re expected to introduce yourself to strangers at the drop of a hat? Hopping from one job interview to the next? For introverts, meeting professionals in your field, reaching out to employers, and investing yourself in internships can be intimidating. Instead, think about networking via the people close to you.

According to a study conducted on third- and fourth-year students, “The results are consistent with the view in previous studies that most job leads come from informal contacts (relatives, friends or acquaintances) (Esperanca, 403)”. This is why forming relationships with your peers and professors is valuable. Your peers can vouch for you as references for jobs, especially if your friends come from diverse majors. Your professors can also serve as references, and introduce you to research opportunities and internships in your field. Often, the people closest to you are the ones that give you the furthest reach in the professional world.

In the end, networking as an introvert means taking things gradually. You’re building professional relationships, not making them pop out of thin air. Evelyn Marinoff from Quiet Revolution offers another piece of advice for networking introverts: “While we may find it undesirable to “waste time” with small talk, there is no better way to benefit our careers than by engaging in office networking for few minutes a day.” In your classes or at your part-time jobs, start small talk with someone close to you. Introduce yourself, find common interests between yourselves, and ask about other people they know. It’s a small world; a new friend means many potential work contacts!

No matter how much you’ve grown throughout college, typical networking methods may still be overwhelming. But that’s exactly why you’re in college: to build your networks up. Your friends and peers are valuable not just because they can provide you with work opportunities, but they can introduce you to new people with new opportunities. At its core, networking is a cycle that begins with you taking the first step to introduce yourself to someone new, a few minutes each day.

Marinoff, Evelyn. “An Introvert's 5 Tips for Career Success.” Quiet Revolution, 5 Mar. 2017, 

www.quietrev.com/an-introverts-5-tips-for-career-success/.

Villar, Esperanca, et al. “What Kind of Networking Strategy Advice Should Career Counsellors 

Offer University Graduates Searching for a Job?” British Journal of Guidance & Counselling, vol. 28, no. 3, Jan. 2000, pp. 389–409. EBSCOhost, search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=eric&AN=EJ614324&site=ehost-live.

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Getting Involved As An Introvert

At any point in the day, there’s someone on your campus’s walkways fundraising for a charity, putting on a show, or advocating for change. Part of the college experience is spending time bettering yourself outside of classes by connecting with the larger community. If you’re not a people person, joining college organizations is probably low on your list of priorities. It may seem hard, but being involved in organizations will help you overcome your shortcomings.

What makes a good organization member? A study on student involvement in business schools revealed five leadership traits: honesty, responsibility, persistence, optimism, and confidence (Smith and Chenoweth, 282). Even though we associate many leadership traits with extroversion, such as “people skills (284)”, these five traits also show themselves in introverted traits, such as “good listener (284)”. It also doesn’t matter what kind of organization you join. According to Smith and Chenoweth, “...regardless of how student clubs/organizations/activities were delineated, all offered opportunities for team projects, executive roles, and leadership practice (280)”.

Fundraising, entertaining, and advocating are only a few of the ways you can get involved on your campus. Perhaps community service is up your alley, working with diverse people by working with your hands? Perhaps a hobby club suits your needs, using your interests to find common ground with your peers. Perhaps a study group, or culture group, or even a novelty club is your scene. Only you know what you’re passionate about. 

But no matter where you go, the five leadership traits -- honesty, responsibility, persistence, optimism, and confidence -- will help you connect with the diverse people you’ll meet in student organizations. The next time you walk through your college walkways, pay attention to the fundraisers, the entertainers, and the advocators. Seeing the leadership traits in them will help you see the leadership traits in yourself.  

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Creating and Maintaining Friendships For Introverts

Friends were easier to make growing up in grade school. Think back to how many times you saw the same people every day, for example. Depending on where you’ve decided to go to college, however, you’ll see the same people less often, and what people you do see are engrossed in busy schedules and closed friend circles. Although this may be the case, you’re in an academic environment, and you can use that to your advantage in ways that your introversion bolsters. Create friendships and maintain them by using principles of collaborative learning in different areas of your life.

Collaborative learning, as the name implies, is a classroom strategy where students learn from each other. According to George Jacobs, who reviewed Susan Cain’s “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking (2013)” in the context of collaborative learning, he defines collaborative learning as “principles and techniques for helping students learn with peers and others” (Jacobs, 86). These principles and techniques are not just useful for collaborative learning but for forming friendships. Out of the seven principles Jacobs identifies, relevant ones to introversion and forming friendships include “heterogeneous grouping (87)”, “cooperation as a value (88)”, and “teaching collaborative skills (90)”. Diversity, cooperation, and action are values that build effective learning and strong friendships.

Making friends in college means asking the question, “How can I find or create environments that encourage these collaborative learning?” A good place to start is in the classroom; form study groups and leverage technology like social media or online group chats to comfortably engage with your peers. Another place to start is organizations that encourage diversity, like cultural and social support groups. From personal experience, I met some of my closest friends in places like Japanese Culture Club and LGBT+ support groups. Finally, community service gives you the opportunity to make friends through your actions rather than your words. I’ve made many of my friends volunteering at homeless outreaches and educational rallies. New places aren’t just places, but platforms that form a common ground between you and a potential friend.

Don’t approach making and maintaining friendships as if it were a treacherous challenge. Instead, treat it like a classroom exercise! Inside or outside the classroom, embrace diversity, collaboration, and action by putting yourself in places where common ground is established. Whether that common ground is a school subject, cultural aspect, or community to engage in, making friends as an introvert is less about meeting new people and more about meeting new environments to learn from.

Jacobs, George. “Introverts Can Succeed with Cooperative Learning.” Online Submission, vol.  4, no. 1, Jan. 2014, p. 4. EBSCOhost, search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=eric&AN=ED573764&site=ehost-live.

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Connecting With Your Teachers For Introverts

An often-quoted proverb reads, “Teachers open the door. You enter by yourself.” Different benefits come with a solid student-teacher relationship, such as research opportunities, mentorship, and an easier time in their class. Forging these relationships, however, can prove difficult for introverts, because of how involved the process is in and out of class. Connect with your professors by analyzing how they approach teaching and using what you learn to effectively communicate with them.

A study on classroom management between extroverted professors and introverted professors reveals more than classroom management strategies. Paying attention to how your professors teach and handle disruptions is a great way to acquaint yourself with your professors’ personality and management style. According to Braden and Smith, introverted professors are “more likely to assign writing tasks as this allows the introverted students a medium to express ideas and emotions in a non-spoken fashion (Braden and Smith, 2),” and employ strategies like conversing with colleagues and forming small groups (6). Extroverted professors “tend to gravitate toward talkative students and may challenge them to go further with their thinking and to verbalize thoughts (2),” and rely on a quick pace and a sense of humor (7).  

This study implicates the environments and methods that professors prefer to communicate in. With an introverted professor, you can focus on alternatives to talking to your professors face-to-face, such as through email. You might also consider going to their office hours with classmates or study groups, using collaboration to form intimate connections. With extroverted professors, you can reduce the stress face-to-face talking causes by preparing questions and thoughts ahead of time. Getting involved in your professors’ organizations and connecting with their colleagues are also useful for building rapport, regardless of personality types. 

I had two professors at my university’s Honors College; my public speaking professor was introverted, and my composition professor was extroverted. My public speaking professor would reach out to us via email, and our class was small so it felt like a study group. Between technological communication and our class’s small community, we formed a music-review based club. My composition class did something similar with our extroverted composition professor. My friends and I created a constitution of what our club wanted to look like, and our professor met with us and started bouncing ideas. Despite the differences between these two professors, I was able to create something with them and form that student-teacher relationship.

Introverted or not, your professors are as enriching a resource as anything else in college. They will all have unique teaching styles and personalities. That shouldn’t stop you from working with them to create something that signifies a solid student-teacher relationship. As long as you don’t limit yourself to any preconceptions of what communicating with your professors is like, you’ll be able to walk through any doors your professors open for you. 

Braden, Stephen W., and Deborah N. Smith. “Managing the College Classroom: Perspectives from an Introvert and an Extrovert.” College Quarterly, vol. 9, no. 1, Jan. 2006. EBSCOhost, search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=eric&AN=EJ835334&site=ehost-live.

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Picking a College For Introverts

Many lists sprawl the internet trying to answer the question of where to go to college. Factors like school size, major availability, or extracurriculars remain important, but try thinking about picking the right college for your personality; it’s an important factor that interplays with others. By taking these other factors and applying them to your brand of introversion, you can determine which college you’ll thrive in.

Jonathan Cheek’s STAR model for introversion makes the decision process simpler. S stands for social introversion -- this is the typical definition of introversion, where people tend to avoid larger groups and energize more in isolation. T stands for thinking introversion -- they handle social situations better and are reflective and introspective. A stands for anxious introversion -- they experience anxiety when socializing, sometimes due to insecurity. Finally, R stands for restrained introversion -- they act slower and need momentum. Even between only four types of introversion, comfort and engagement levels vary, making picking the right college for your personality that much more important.

Social introverts thrive on campuses with fewer people, which means smaller classes and more purposeful connections. Social introverts also do better in a school where research-based majors are promoted. Social introverts should also pick a school that values niche extracurriculars as it does renowned ones. For social introverts, schools that foster tight, intimate connections are good environments.

Thinking introverts, unlike social introverts, do better in larger schools. The social presence is undaunting for them and thus presents more opportunities. As with the previous introversion types, research-based schools and extracurriculars are a boon, especially so for thinking introverts. For them, schools that provide opportunities to approach social and academic situations from new angles are good environments. 

Anxious introverts thrive in a smaller school population. Colleges that pride themselves on research-based majors and activities are also good environments for anxious introverts. A final consideration when searching for colleges is picking “commuter schools”; students at these schools go for classes and then go home. I attend the University of Las Vegas, Nevada, which has a reputation for being a commuter school. This school has been good for me there are many resources here that don’t need any heavy commitments on my part. Low commitment and pressure is crucial for anxious introverts. 

Restrained introverts are similar to anxious and social introverts’ preferences for school size and major availability. The difference from the other types of introversion, especially from anxious introversion, is student engagement. Restrained introverts want the opposite of commuter schools. Being in a school that encourages being engaged gives the momentum restrained introverts need to get the most out of their college experience.

Different types of introverts will excel in different college environments. The biggest factors that usually go into deciding on a school -- school size, major availability, and extracurriculars --  affect your comfort and engagement levels with the school. If you want to get the most out of your college experience, don’t just take these numbers as numbers; look at them through the lens of you!

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Picking a Major for Introverts

No question strikes more fear than, “What do you see yourself doing in 10 years?” There’s too many things we see ourselves doing, and just as many things we don’t. For some people, they are dead-set on a certain major but worry that they won’t live up to its expectations. For others, they are unsure on what works best for their weaknesses -- especially the ones regarding human interaction. Picking a major means playing to your strengths -- introverts like us have many strengths that apply themselves even to fields typically associated with extroverts.

Your strengths are key to understanding the best major for you. Yale’s Career Network discusses some of these strengths, which include reflectiveness, focus, and self-reliance. If people aren’t your niche, it might behoove you to consider a career in something independent or research-intensive. There are many choices out there such as pharmaceutical work, statistics, archaeology, and everything in between. The key piece of advice Yale’s Career Network gives is, “Don’t try to change the personality you were born with (Hoefstaetter).” All jobs require some modicum of socialization. Team collaboration, interviewing, and the like are more or less inevitable. Determine your purpose, know your limitations, and find a major that provides the amount of social interaction you are comfortable with -- don’t push yourself too hard!

Knowing what areas introverts do well in makes applying themselves to extrovert-centered majors easier. As an education major myself, I realize how taxing teaching a class and working with other teachers can be. However, there are many other components to education, such as lesson planning and connecting with students individually and in-depth. By completing tasks that focus on these introverted qualities, I can be better prepared for presenting and collaboration. Similar things can be said for business, medical, and even entertainment majors. All of them balance out the interpersonal parts with the need to be reflective, focused, and self-reliant. Just because some majors are socially intensive doesn’t mean you shouldn’t pursue them.

Answer the question, “What do you see yourself doing in 10 years,” by asking more questions. Ask questions about yourself; what are your limitations, and what ways can you approach the extroverted aspects of your desired major with introverted strengths? By having a clear goal and a clear sense of self simultaneously, you’ll step into college self-aware and confident about everything to come. So...what do you see yourself doing in 10 years?

Want more resources to help you pick a major? Check out trade-schools.net’s 56 Best Jobs for Introverts, and check out Susan Cain’s blog Quiet Revolution!

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An Introduction to College...For Introverts

High school wasn’t a grand experience, but it was a simpler time. Speaking up in class wasn’t necessary, my circle of friends was small and tight, and a future career was too far into the future to worry about. Of course, high school always comes to an end, with college being a radically different next step. I had to start speaking up in class, my closest friends started having wildly different schedules, and now was the time to decide on what I saw myself doing for the rest of my life. For me and many introverts, the myriad of new people and opportunities that present themselves can be opportune...or overwhelming. 

We first need to be able to define introversion. Introversion is not simply being shy or reserved (although it is a common byproduct of introversion). Rather, it is the preference to be less socially stimulated than more. Some psychological models like Jonathan Cheek’s STAR model assert that there are as many as four types of introversion. Some people prefer to socialize in small or no groups (social introversion); some experience anxiety in groups (anxious introversion); some socially operate at a slower pace (restrained introversion); and some are simply introspective (thinking introversion). Whatever the case may be, one commonality between all types of introverts is that they prefer to keep their social experiences minimal, which can prove difficult in the fast-paced social nature of college.

But what exactly about college makes it so fast-paced? To answer this question, it is important to start at the very beginning: namely, deciding what your major will be and what college you’ll attend. When you get there (or if you’re already there), you’ll have to start thinking about things like connecting with your professors, getting involved in organizations, and maintaining friendships both from college and outside of it. Finally, being in college means thinking long term; how networking will affect your career choices, and. All of these have a social component that isn’t necessarily straightforward for introverts. Logically thinking about the breakdown, purpose, and alternatives to these aspects of the college experience will make them easier to handle.

Being an introvert -- in any of its forms -- doesn’t have to ruin your college experience. Indeed, everyone entering college has different hopes and dreams for their college experience. Some expect to go right out of the gates by joining sororities and organizations and being present on campus. Some just want to get their degree and live a humble existence. What you make of your experiences in college can shape your relationships and careers going forward, if you let it. If you’re looking for a little extra guidance to get the most out of socializing, another listening ear, or just a way to survive, you’ve come to the right place.

Cheek, J. “Four Meanings of Introversion: Social, Thinking, Anxious, and Inhibited Introversion.” PsycEXTRA Dataset, Jan. 2011, https://www.academia.edu/7353616/Four_Meanings_of_Introversion_Social_Thinking_Anxious_and_Inhibited_Introversion.

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This is an interesting response! Yes, there are many different kinds of introverts -- some may be comfortable with communication with strangers, some are not. This may be an older post, but keeping track of your limitations and mental health when it comes to careers and school is never outdated.

Dear admin, in your opinion, is it suitable for an introvert to work in a call centre? I had experience with it for a year and I came out like a zombie. Since that I've been truly terrified to get a new job. And now my parents are forcing me into another when I clearly stated more than once I don't suit that kind of career. Sometimes I think they just care about the hefty pay from the company.

Perhaps I’m not the best person to answer this question because in addition to being super introverted I’m also severely socially anxious, but here’s my thoughts on it anyway:

I would personally be terrified to take any job that involves lots of conversation with strangers, especially by phone. It’s oddly draining and nerve-wracking for most of the introverts I know to use forms of mobile communication like phone calls and texting, because in our society use of these methods of conversing also automatically assumes a fairly immediate response. Sometimes you need to step back from things and just exist inside yourself for a while, without any strings pulling you back to the outside world, so an incoming call or a waiting text can seem like a far bigger burden than the sender ever intended it to be.

That being said, it really depends on the introvert in question and how private their workspace is, but it sounds to me like you definitively didn’t enjoy your job, so its quite likely that it just didn’t fit your personality type and social needs. I’m sorry about your parents being pushy, and I know in this day and age everything seems to revolve around getting a job and making money, but just do your best to make them understand that the salary of a job like this one won’t be worth the costs on your mental/emotional health.

I hope this was at least somewhat helpful, and I’m sorry it took so long for one of us to get back to you!

♥ admin Claire

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What a good share! College presents the unique opportunity for us introverts to put our independent thinking to action. Everyone, definitely connect with your professors -- but don’t forget to put yourself first and find alternative paths to what you want if you’re not feeling up to task!

Uni made easy??

Let’s face it…being an introvert at uni is tougher than we all expected. We are learning new things about ourselves, new things about the world around us, and new things about the possibilities of the future. There is sooo much to take in! Here are a few tips that I have for you, the introvert at uni, that should help when it comes to dealing with the changes happening around you. 

1. Basics. If you are anything like me you are probably socially awkward and you feel like you don’t know what to say to professors when you finally muster up the courage to introduce yourself. I just used a universal “template” that would work for any teacher that you meet. *Reach for handshake if you don’t mind physical contact* “Hi my name is ______ and I’m a [insert classification]. I just wanted to introduce myself and let you know that I am excited to take this class!” This is very simple and easy to recite even if you feel awkward and anxious. I used this on the professors that didn’t make us introduce ourselves (I go to a small university) to the entire class. I know that it may be hard to introduce yourself to your professors, but try this on at least one professor that you seem comfortable with and I promise you you won’t regret it. Introducing yourselves to your professors makes them think that you care about building a relationship with them, even if you don’t plan on it, and in some cases that leads to you making better grades. 

2. GOOGLE EVERYTHING. Introverts may feel apprehensive about asking questions, especially if they feel like they are the only person that doesn’t know the answer. Google is something that has helped me survive all the way to Junior year. (I’m almost done!!) Googling your questions helps take away the anxiety that you may feel when you think your question is stupid or that you should already know the answer. You can learn how to change a tire or even birth a baby just by using Google, so I highly recommend using it. 

I don’t want to overwhelm y’all with tips so I will do one more. 

3. Eating alone. This can be very awkward for everyone, but I found that it felt especially awkward and lonely for me (Maybe because of my introversion?). This is something that you CANNOT avoid. Let’s face it. We are introverts, and the first weeks of school are probably going to be spent alone, but you should definitely check out your dining hall. I also think that eating alone is a great exercise to help you with being uncomfortable, because that is inevitable too. If you are going to the dining hall to eat alone make sure your phone is charged. Almost everyone will be on their phones, even people that are in groups. If you start to feel awkward or anxious while you’re alone, or you want to avoid eye contact with strangers, open your notes app and type everything that you are thinking. This will not only help you reflect on what makes you feel nervous or anxious, it will help you create more solutions to feeling awkward, and it will be something that you can laugh at later on. Unlike many other activities, eating alone is something that you can and will get used to if you continue to do it. Freshmen year I cried when I had to eat alone, and now I march right into the cafeteria and consume food like a boss. 

REMINDER: You are not the only introvert at uni. There are many others that may feel as lost or overwhelmed as you do. Even some of the extroverts at your school may feel lost or overwhelmed. And before you start to compare yourself to them, just remember, they are only better at hiding their awkwardness than you are.  (this is something that I found comforting..idk why)

I hope these tips and reminder help! Keep on truckin’

-D