collynotmolly - Tumblr blog

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Adam West Batman could beat Robert Downey Jr. Iron Man in a fight send tweet

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this manatee looks like it’s in a skyrim loading screen

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@post-uwuifer is maybe the funniest blog on the platform rn bc it’s obviously a bot 90% of the time and sometimes the owner logs in and responds to reblogs manually, but if you suspend your disbelief just enough it leads to the much funnier conclusion that it’s a bot 100% of the time and its responses are evidence that the algorithm has gained sentience but can only communicate through uwuified tumblr posts

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instead of bugle mcu peter parker sells his pictures to/works for buzzfeed. all his articles about spiderman are titled like ‘Insanely Cool And Relevant Spider-Man Helps Out At Local Soup Kitchen’ and ‘Awesomely Powerful And Suave Vigilante Spider-Man Just Stopped A Crime Ring From Stealing All Of Tony Stark’s Shit’ and ‘Beloved Sweetheart And Icon Spider-Man Saved An Old Lady So She Bought Him A Churro (Pics Will Make Your Heart MELT!!) and ‘Photographic Proof That Spider-Man Is A Thousand Times Cooler Than The Queens Police Department’, stuff along those lines. He also makes Which Avenger Are You quizzes, and one time he was mad at Tony so he made a poll asking if Spider-Man or Iron Man were cooler, but he rigged it so no matter what the actual voting outcome it would always say 0% voted for Iron Man. 

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This is Money Snake. She only appears every 312 years. 

If you reblog her picture within the next twenty-five seconds you will have good luck and fortune for the rest of your life. 

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Do you think Clark Kent's first few major articles were about the continued presence of lead pipes in parts of Metropolis' water system

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Realistically, a household the size of Wayne Manor needs more than just a butler, and while Bruce might imagine he can keep his proclivities secret from his own domestic staff, Alfred certainly harbours no such illusions. I've gotta wonder what the orientation lecture he's worked out looks like. Like, of course they're going to be extensively vetted before they ever set foot on the premises, but at some point during the onboarding process the subject of the Batcave has gotta come up – I just wanna know how Alfred broaches that.

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au where the justice league is known and well established as Earth's official planetary defense system.  Batman was offered an invitation to join but he hissed at the idea of revealing his identity and said nope, you guys stay out of Gotham.  in return, the JL was like 'okay you can't leave Gotham then'.  for around a decade, Batman sticks to that rule, no real issues, but the JL gets bigger and bigger and it reaches a point that he knows, even with all his contingencies, he'll never be able to take them in a fight

Robin and Batman get into an argument because Robin wants to stretch his wings and Batman refuses to let him.  Robin leaves despite all of Batman's warnings and goes to NYC and cuts all contact.  a couple months later, there's a new hero who calls himself Nightwing who's on the JL.

Bruce freaks out and tries to call Dick, but Dick ignores all his calls.  Bruce ends up keeping tabs on him from afar, always worried.

fast forward to the new Robin.  this time, Bruce impresses from the beginning the importance of never leaving Gotham.  Jason agrees.  three years later, Jason leaves to Ethiopia, Batman follows, the Joker shows up.

it ends with JL intervention and a beaten Jason being taken away by Wonder Woman and the Joker taken away by the JL.  Bruce tries to infiltrate Themyscira, is caught, Diana snaps at him.  Bruce begs asks her to be able to speak to Jason.  Jason is visibly upset and doesn't want to talk to Bruce and tells him that Batman didn't save him and orders him to get out.  Bruce leaves, heartbroken.

a young boy observes a devastated Batman on the streets of Gotham and is determined to help him.  this time, Bruce impresses upon Tim the severity of the situation.  if he leaves Gotham the Justice League will get him.  Tim agrees to be very careful.  Damian shows up and for the first time in a long time, Bruce lets himself relax.

Bruce gets lost in time.  Tim has to leave Gotham to find the clues to help him, he stumbles upon the Titans who offer their help and a spot on their team.  once they find Bruce, Tim forces himself to leave with the Titans, knowing that at least Bruce and Damian will be safe.

Bruce is exhausted and hurt and upset.  he keeps losing children.

meanwhile, the JL is getting increasingly fed up about this brooding vigilante that treats his sidekicks as disposable and never once checks up on them after they leave his fold.  it's a giant miscommunication.

things come to a head when Bruce is forced to go to Metropolis to stop some alien threat or whatever.  Damian sneaks after him, despite express orders to stay, and when Bruce wakes up in a medical tent, Superman tells him that Damian is okay and he's staying with Superman's family.  Clark was not expecting Batman to go back to Gotham, stone-faced, without asking about or picking up his kid.

Bruce is heartbroken, he's lost four children and he just stays in the Cave and cries.  meanwhile Damian, with the Kents, is distressed by the abundance of people his father's warned him about.  he just wants to go home.

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Rewatched The Phantom Menace

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‘Thoth and the Chief Magician’, 1925. Evelyn Pau

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the Kellogg's Star Wars spoon (2005)

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Billy’s name gets revealed while he’s Captain Marvel but he expertly covers this up by saying he’s Batman’s son and the “Batson” was just a funny reference to that. Batman completely backs him up on this

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