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Understanding the Reality of Porn Addiction

Porn addiction is a growing concern in our society, and yet, it is a topic that is often not talked about openly. The easy accessibility of online porn has led to an increase in addiction, and it can be a devastating problem that affects all aspects of a person's life. In this article, we will dive into the reality of porn addiction, including its warning signs, causes, and effective treatment options.

What is Porn Addiction

What is Porn Addiction? Porn addiction refers to a compulsive use of pornography, which leads to significant distress and negative consequences in a person's life. Porn addiction can manifest in different ways, such as excessive viewing, losing control over the amount of time spent viewing, and feelings of guilt, shame, and anxiety. It can lead to problems in relationships, work, and social interactions.

Warning Signs of Porn Addiction

There are several warning signs that can indicate a person is struggling with porn addiction. These include:

Spending excessive amounts of time viewing porn

Feeling the need to view porn in secret

Neglecting responsibilities and personal relationships because of porn

Experiencing intense cravings for porn

Struggling to control the frequency and intensity of porn use

Feeling ashamed, guilt, or anxiety about porn use

Experiencing negative physical and psychological consequences as a result of porn use

Causes of Porn Addiction

The causes of porn addiction are complex and can vary from person to person. However, some common factors that contribute to the development of porn addiction include:

Easy access to porn through the internet

Early exposure to porn at a young age

A history of trauma or abuse

Mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety, and stress

A lack of real-life relationships and social support

A search for a way to cope with negative emotions

A lack of intimacy and sexual fulfillment in relationships

The Impact of Porn Addiction

Porn addiction can have a significant impact on a person's life, including:

Damaged relationships and decreased intimacy with partners

Reduced satisfaction in life and a decrease in overall happiness

Increased feelings of anxiety, guilt, and shame

Difficulty maintaining healthy boundaries with others

Decreased performance in school or work

Physical consequences such as erectile dysfunction and decreased sex drive

Overcoming Porn Addiction

Recovering from porn addiction requires a holistic approach that addresses the root causes of the addiction. Some effective treatment options include:

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT)

Mindfulness-based therapy

Sex addiction therapy

Medication to address underlying mental health conditions

Support groups such as Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA)

Making lifestyle changes to increase overall well-being, such as exercise and a healthy diet

FAQs

Q. Is porn addiction a real addiction? A. Yes, porn addiction is a real addiction that can have a significant impact on a person's life. It can cause negative consequences in relationships, work, and mental health.

Q. Is it possible to fully recover from porn addiction? A. Yes, it is possible to fully recover from porn addiction with the right treatment and support. At Begin Again Institute, we offer a supportive and safe environment for recovery and use a comprehensive approach to help individuals overcome their addiction. With the right therapy, medication, support, and lifestyle changes, individuals can regain control over their lives and experience lasting recovery.

Q. How long does it take to recover from porn addiction? A. The length of recovery can vary depending on the individual and the severity of the addiction. At Begin Again Institute, we provide a customized porn addiction treatment based on each individual's needs, and recovery can take anywhere from a few months to several years. The most important thing is to take the first step and seek help, as this is a sign of strength and a commitment to a better future.

Porn addiction is a growing concern in our society, but there is hope for recovery. At Begin Again Institute, we offer a comprehensive approach to overcoming porn addiction that addresses the root causes of the addiction. Our treatment options, including therapy, medication, support groups, and lifestyle changes, provide a supportive and safe environment for recovery. If you or someone you love is struggling with porn addiction, contact us for help. The road to recovery can be challenging, but with the right support and guidance, it is possible to regain control over your life and experience lasting recovery.

Source: https://sites.google.com/view/beginagaininstitutecolorado/articles/understanding-the-reality-of-porn-addiction

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HOW SEX ADDICTION SHAKES CHRISTIANS’ FAITH

Many Christians struggle with the idea that sex addiction is a mental health issue, not a character flaw, and that you can heal from it. Others worry about their faith because they think sex addiction is a sin, and they can’t be Christian if they have an addiction. But God wants you to be whole again, and you always deserve His love.

Understanding the Sex Addiction Cycle

Sex addiction is a preoccupation with sexual thoughts or actions that are difficult to control and negatively affect your life. Unresolved trauma is linked with sex addiction, although other factors may be involved. A person usually figures out that they have an addiction or something is seriously wrong when they try to stop their behaviors and can’t. They’re stuck in the cycle of sex addiction.

Act to Cope with Adverse Emotions

People who feel stressed or anxious or have other negative emotions, often surrounding unresolved trauma, use sex to cope with these emotions. This adverse coping could be anything from watching pornography to having a one-night stand. Often they feel better initially, but the feeling doesn’t last.

Feel Guilt and Shame

Christians with sex addiction often feel extreme guilt and shame about their behavior. They know what they’re doing is wrong and don’t want to hurt anyone around them, but they can’t stop, even when they try. This part of the cycle leads to feelings of hopelessness and despair.

Rededicate to God

For Christians with sex addiction, the addiction cycle often involves a rededication to God. The person will decide to quit their addictive behavior, often asking God for help or recommitting to their faith by promising to do better. 

Experience Stress or Adversity

After the person decides to stop the addictive behavior and rededicates themselves to God, they experience negative feelings again. They aren’t sure how to cope with them, so they return to the addictive behavior for relief.

Repeat the Cycle

The sex addiction cycle is a repeating pattern of behavior — using sex for relief from negative emotions, feeling shame and guilt, the negative emotions return, and the cycle repeats. Once an addiction forms, it can seem impossible to stop.

How Sex Addiction Shakes Christians’ Faith

Sex addiction may make Christians fear punishment from God or being ostracized from their church community. They also may feel disconnected from their faith and unsure how to re-engage with that vital aspect of their life while their behavior is sinful. And because of the fear of punishment, Christians may be less likely to seek help or confide in those closest to them.

Being a Christian makes some aspects of sex addiction even more difficult, said T.C. Ryan, author of Ashamed No More: A Pastor’s Journey Through Sex Addiction and pastoral consultant at Boulder Recovery.

“In following Jesus, what we do with our life matters. What we do with our body matters,” he said.

He continued, “It’s clear to Christians with sex addictions that it’s neither appropriate nor acceptable. And the guilt and shame of knowing that something you’re doing is wrong is extremely isolating.”

And the negative impact isn’t just on the person with the addiction. It affects their family too. Christian families, especially partners, often feel like their church community turns away from them when they need them the most, T.C. said.

“They’re in a horrible bind,” he said. 

The Path to Restoration 

Restoring one’s relationship with God and others is critical to resolving how sex addiction shakes Christians’ faith. The healing journey of restoration includes some essential steps.

To heal from sex addiction, you must:

Understand the Cause. Seek help from a mental health professional to understand the root cause of the addiction. Unresolved trauma often results in sex addiction. You’ll likely relapse if you try to treat the behaviors but not the cause.

Learn Healthy Coping. A mental health professional also can help you identify healthy coping skills for triggers.

Dedicate Time to Your Faith. As you heal your mental and physical health, you also can work to restore your faith and strengthen your relationship with God. 

Rely on Your Support System. How much you tell people about your addiction is your decision. However, you need to be honest with yourself and your partner. You also would benefit from the support of those closest to you, perhaps including your church community, as you work through this issue.

“The Church has to learn to become more emotionally healthy by better understanding addiction and coming at it from a place of grace,” T.C. stated. “The Church needs to reach beyond itself and find those who can coach and guide it through the situation. Sometimes removing the person is necessary, but it shouldn’t be the automatic or assumed approach.”

Get Help at Boulder Recovery

As Christians, you’re called to be in a relationship with God. But sex addiction can make you feel far from your faith. If you have a sex addiction, you’re not alone. Resources are available to help you through this difficult time and bring you closer to God again. 

Contact Boulder Recovery to determine the best path to recovery and restoration of your faith.

Source: https://beginagaininstitute.com/christian/how-sex-addiction-shakes-christians-faith/

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REBUILDING TRUST IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP AFTER SEX ADDICTION

Trust is a huge part of what unifies people in a relationship. Over time and through the difficulties of life, trust can erode. If a partner cheats on another, lies about their sexual history, or hides addiction, it can shatter trust. When this happens, rebuilding trust in your relationship is key to staying together.

Many couples experience the devastating effects of sex addiction. Rebuilding trust in a relationship after sex addiction is a part of the recovery process if you decide to move forward together.

Is Rebuilding Trust Possible?

Rebuilding trust after sex addiction is possible, but it requires commitment from both partners who agree to fight for the relationship.

“Rebuilding trust after sex addiction is possible, but it requires work from both partners. The man has to be in recovery. And the woman must process her trauma related to the infidelity and feel emotionally safe in the relationship,” said Matt Wenger, Clinical Director at Boulder Recovery.

“There is no way to overstate the pain of learning your partner has betrayed you,” he continued. “Some women feel rushed to reconcile and fix their marriages. But first, they have to give themselves time to process and heal from the shock of discovering their partner’s infidelity.”

Matt said, “Boulder Recovery wants to see marriages healed and hope restored to families, but this can only happen when the man with sex addiction takes steps toward sobriety.”

Laying the Foundation of Trust

Laying the foundation of trust is a challenging process. It requires both parties to commit to making it happen and focusing on healing habits like open communication and intentionality.

Communication is key in laying the foundation of trust. You can’t restore trust unless you discuss what they want out of the relationship, how you feel about each other, and what you’ve been through. Intentional methods such as journaling or meditation can help ensure both parties are clear on what they need from each other to create an environment where there’s no confusion or misinterpretation about expectations.

Intentionality means being honest about what you want from each other and genuine when asking for those things. It doesn’t mean one person should try too hard or take all the initiative. It means being honest about where you’re coming from so both people can understand their partner when making decisions about the relationship.

Rebuilding Trust in Your Relationship

If you have a sex addiction, you must fully commit to recovery and be transparent about the past before you can rebuild trust in your relationship. Once you’re in recovery and committed to leaving negative behaviors behind, you can work to rebuild your relationship. 

Rebuilding trust in your relationship requires:

Taking Charge of Your Recovery. Take responsibility for your actions and make yourself accountable for those actions. Avoid covering up or blaming others for your actions. Tell your partner what happened and how you will move forward. Be honest about your struggles and show a willingness to learn from your mistakes. 

Being Understanding. When living with addiction, your partner is experiencing pain and confusion. You may not understand what she’s going through, but validating her feelings helps her feel supported.

Practicing Trustworthy Behavior. It can be difficult for someone hurt by a partner to trust or believe apologies and that the addiction is in the past. If you want to help your partner rebuild trust, it’s essential to practice honesty, respect boundaries, listen without judgment, and offer emotional support.

The Role of Partner

Finding out that your partner has a sex addiction is a traumatic experience. It’s vital for you to process what’s happened and heal yourself before you decide to move forward with the relationship.

“When your partner betrays you, you feel like your entire life is crumbling. ​​You feel as though you’ve lost your safety and question your ability to succeed in the world,” Matt said. “If a large part of your relationship is a lie, you wonder what other things in your life are lies too.”

To move forward with your relationship:

Heal Your Trauma. Sex addiction is an incredibly painful experience for everyone involved. If you want your relationship to thrive again, you must heal from the trauma of your partner’s actions. 

Determine Healthy Expectations. The goal is not to get back to where things were before your partner’s addiction — it’s to build something new and more whole than before.

Communicate Your Needs. Be open about how you feel and what you need to feel safe and secure in the relationship again.

Be Open About Your Feelings. You must be honest about how you feel. If they ask what’s wrong, don’t skirt around the issue or give vague answers — tell them exactly what’s bothering you. This openness helps your partner understand how their actions hurt you, which helps them make changes.

Prepare for a Long Haul. Rebuilding trust takes time and effort from both parties. It may seem like there is little progress at first but remember, every step counts. Focus on building positive behaviors so they become habits.

Focus on Your Individual Healing. It’s easy to get caught up in fixing things between you and your partner. Don’t neglect your own healing process.

Keys to Maintaining Trust After Sex Addiction

Maintaining trust after sex addiction is a two-way street. You must be accountable, honest, reliable, sincere, and vulnerable. It might seem like a lot of work at first, but rebuilding trust is possible once you put these keys into practice.

“Victims of infidelity trauma deserve emotional health, safety, and being heard,” Matt stated. “But they are often burdened with decisions about the future of their relationships and families while reeling from the traumatic discovery of unfaithfulness. This burden is profoundly unfair. While the betrayal occurred through no fault, they deserve support and healing.” 

Get Help From Boulder Recovery

The foundation of any enduring relationship is trust. Sex addiction shatters trust. If both partners decide to move forward with their relationship after sex addiction, they may need help healing and restoring that trust. 

Many resources are available to help support your efforts toward recovery and rebuilding your relationships. Attending a support group and joining individual or couples therapy are just a few options to help you and your partner rebuild your relationship. Contact Boulder Recovery today to explore your treatment options and begin restoring your life.

Source: https://beginagaininstitute.com/christian/rebuilding-trust-in-your-relationship-after-sex-addiction/

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CAUSES AND EFFECTS OF SEX ADDICTION IN CHRISTIANS

The causes and effects of sex addiction are no different in Christians than in anyone else. In most cases, sexual addiction results from unresolved trauma. A person uses sex to make themselves feel better and cope with adverse emotions. Before they know it, what once was a coping mechanism has become an addiction.

Sex addiction is a global problem, with 6-8% of the population impacted. Determining the causes and effects of sex addiction in Christians is essential to their healing and recovery.

What Causes Sex Addiction?

Sex addiction is uncontrollable sexual fantasies, urges, or behaviors that cause severe emotional distress and negatively affect a person’s life. When the person begins to see the effects of their actions, they may try to stop the behavior but find they can’t.

While the cause of sex addiction depends on a person and their unique circumstances, there is a clear link between sex addiction and unresolved trauma.

“Sex addiction comes from a need to regulate an unregulated nervous system, likely caused by unresolved trauma,” said Matt Wenger, Clinical Director at Boulder Recovery. “That trauma overwhelms people and moves them into unhealthy coping.”

Traumatic experiences, like abuse or neglect, can drive addictive behaviors. Traumatic experiences can harm a person’s overall well-being, leaving them feeling out of control and attempting to resolve those feelings. Some people use sex as a way to cope with the adverse emotions that result from unprocessed trauma. When they do this enough, an addiction forms and they can’t stop.

The Harmful Effects of Sex Addiction

Sex addiction damages all aspects of a person’s life. It also has profound negative effects on that individual’s loved ones. 

Effects of sex addiction are:

Behavioral. People with sex addiction engage in behaviors that go against their beliefs. They do things they wouldn’t do if it weren’t for the addiction.

Emotional. Feelings of guilt and shame about your actions may lead to low self-esteem and depression.

Familial. Due to disapproval of your behavior, strained relationships can lead to isolation from others and emotional distress.

Physical. The effects of unsafe sexual practices, such as unprotected sex or having multiple partners, can increase the risk for STDs and other physical ailments.

Spiritual. Inappropriate sexual behavior can also cause spiritual damage, making you feel like you’re unworthy of God’s love or aren’t a good Christian.

How Can Christians Be Free from Sex Addiction?

Christians can recover from sex addiction and renew their faith, but they can’t do it alone. You must seek help in healing — emotionally, physically, and spiritually. 

“Therapy is a foundational piece of recovery from addiction,” according to Matt. “Those looking to find sobriety often think it is about ceasing the behavior, but it’s about discovering why they do that thing and healing from the root cause.”

Therapy is vital to addressing the causes and effects of sex addiction in Christians. But there are additional steps to take on the journey to recovery.

Admit the Problem

It’s not easy to face addiction, but it’s the first step to healing. Take some time to think about what you’re going through. Determine what’s missing from your life. How has sex addiction negatively impacted your life and the lives of your loved ones? You have to get honest about the effects of the addiction and view the problem fully before you’re likely to commit to healing.

Commit to Healing and Recovery

Once you’ve admitted a problem exists, it’s time to take action. There are many ways to move forward with recovery. For example, some people find group therapy sessions helpful, while others prefer individual therapy. There are partner support options and intensive retreats to address and diminish ongoing harmful effects immediately.

Sex addiction is not likely to go away on its own, so it’s vital to seek help from a mental health professional. 

Renew Your Connection With God

Seek spiritual guidance. Having a spiritual leader you trust who can help guide you through this process of healing your faith is crucial. Having support through the church will help as you begin uncovering the root cause of your addiction and healing from your behavior.

Make Intentional Changes 

It’s important to make intentional changes in your life. To recover, you’ll need to make big decisions about what you want for yourself and how you will get there. For example, you’ll have to identify triggers and decide how you will cope with them.

It can be scary to think about change, but it’s also exciting. Your life is full of possibilities, so don’t let fear hold you back from living your most authentic life.

Stick to a Healthy Routine

Create healthier habits for dealing with stress and anxiety so they don’t lead back into adverse coping or result in relapse. This new routine means making time for activities like going for walks with friends or family instead of binge-watching TV shows alone at home, finding hobbies like gardening or painting that give you an outlet for creative expression, and getting involved.

Help From Boulder Recovery

Healing from sex addiction will take time and courage, but it is possible. Boulder Recovery is here to help you find your way through addiction. We help men address addictions and the trauma that creates them and offer partner betrayal support for the spouses of those in our program. Reach out to us for information to start on the road to healing.

Source: https://beginagaininstitute.com/christian/causes-and-effects-of-sex-addiction-in-christians/

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CAN YOU BE A SEX ADDICT AND CHRISTIAN?

It’s challenging for many people to sync ideas of sexuality and Christianity. It’s especially difficult when you experience sexual behavior that you can’t control and that causes you shame. But you can be a sex addict and Christian. God’s love isn’t conditional. No matter the issue, He forgives and wants you to heal. 

Understanding Sex Addiction

Understanding sex addiction and how it happens can help you better understand how you can be a sex addict and Christian. The truth is that addiction, including sex addiction, can happen to anyone. 

What is Sex Addiction? 

Sex addiction is uncontrollable sexual fantasies, urges, or behaviors. It causes severe emotional distress and negatively affects a person’s life. As a result, they may try to stop the behavior independently but find they can’t.

Causes of Sex Addiction

Unresolved trauma often is the root cause of sex addiction. When you experience a traumatic event, it can cause your brain to go into survival mode. The body’s primary goal after experiencing a traumatic event is to prevent it from happening again.

The brain tries to avoid situations that trigger trauma and works to cope with adverse emotions resulting from the trauma. To cope with those negative emotions, you look for something that makes you feel good. 

When you use sexual behaviors to deal with negative emotions, your brain begins to link feeling better or coping with sex. Before you realize it, you’re addicted and can’t stop.

Effects of Sex Addiction

When a person has a sex addiction, they can no longer control their sexual behaviors. They are preoccupied with sexual thoughts or fantasies. They spend a lot of time focusing on or planning their next sexual encounter. They may even put themselves in dangerous situations to get sexual gratification.

There are many adverse effects of sex addiction. These consequences are emotional, physical, and relational. Sex addiction can lead to problems in personal relationships, at work, and even legal troubles. It can cause people to experience shame and guilt about their actions. It can also lead to other mental health issues like depression or anxiety.

Sex addiction also may cause risky sexual behavior like unprotected sex with multiple partners. 

Identifying Sex Addiction

Specific signs of sex addiction can help you recognize it. The first and most obvious sign is an increase in the frequency of sexual activity, which may include frequent masturbation or pornography use. This activity often is hidden. 

A person with sex addiction begins to focus most of the time, thoughts, and energy on the addiction. That means they stop spending time on other activities, like socializing or even work. 

Another sign is a change in behavior that causes problems in relationships. For example, if someone who previously had no difficulty maintaining healthy relationships suddenly starts cheating on their partner or behaving secretively, this could indicate that they are addicted to sex. 

Other signs include frequent lying about sexual activities or clearly hiding something.

Sex Addiction as a Christian

Sex addiction and Christianity are not mutually exclusive. You can be a sex addict and a Christian, according to T. C. Ryan, author of “Ashamed No More: A Pastor’s Journey Through Sex Addiction” and pastoral consultant at Boulder Recovery.

“Being a spiritual person doesn’t remove the issues we all struggle with,” he said. “And having an addiction doesn’t mean you aren’t worthy of Christ’s love. It’s a moral failing, which everyone is guilty of.”

To heal from sex addiction, the person with the addiction must recognize and admit the problem, then seek help. T.C. believes that help can come from within the Church. He said the Church needs to work to understand addiction better and support those in need.

“We must learn to heal together and help one another,” T.C. stated. “We have to do it together. Nobody should be alone.”

T.C. said, “The Bible speaks to this. Galatians 6:2 calls for people to ‘Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.'”

The Importance of Support 

When you have a sex addiction, you may find it difficult to grasp the idea of recovery. But recovery is possible, and you can heal yourself and strengthen your faith simultaneously. But, as T.C. said, you can’t do it alone.

Support is important for various reasons, including:

Identify and Heal. Support helps you identify what needs healing and then figure out how to heal it. Seeking professional mental health support will help you discover the root cause of your addiction and heal from that trauma. Then you can focus on changing behaviors.

Improve Daily Life. Support means having someone there when times get tough. Your support network will help you deal with the challenges of recovery.

Repair Relationships. Addiction damages relationships. Seeking out support enables you to repair those relationships by showing others that you understand how your behavior impacted them and how you’re working to recover. 

Help From Boulder Recovery

You can be a sex addict and Christian. You also owe it to yourself to heal and live the authentic, Christ-centered life you’re capable of living. Boulder Recovery’s 14-day Christian Men’s Intensive can help you focus on your faith while jumpstarting your recovery. Contact us to learn more and start your healing journey.

Source: https://beginagaininstitute.com/christian/can-you-be-a-sex-addict-and-christian/

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HOW DO CHRISTIANS DEAL WITH SEX ADDICTION?

Sexual content and displays of sexuality are seemingly everywhere, and Christians aren’t immune to the temptations and impacts. So, how do Christians deal with sex addiction, especially in today’s world? Overall, not very well, but there are clear ways to improve and support each other.

If you or someone you know has experience with sex addiction, it’s difficult to know how to address it. Faith can add layers of guilt and shame on top of the addiction, which makes it even more challenging to be open about your problem and focus on recovery. But healing is possible, and Christians can support each other through it.

The Challenges of Sex Addiction as a Christian

Sex addiction, or the inability to stop destructive, consuming sexual behaviors, is difficult for anyone. Dealing with sex addiction as a Christian has unique challenges.

Common challenges of sex addiction for Christians:

Perfectionism. Many Christians struggle with an expectation of perfection and feel ashamed when they fail to live up to this standard. This idea can make it even more difficult for Christians with sex addiction, who may feel something is wrong with them.

Shame. Because Christians believe their actions are inherently sinful, they may feel there is no hope for them after committing a sexual transgression. This immense shame can lead them to give up on themselves and their recovery. They may even think they aren’t worthy of God’s love.

Fear. When you believe what you’re doing is wrong and sinful, you’re afraid that people won’t accept you. You tie your self-worth to your addiction instead of realizing that you can be a good, Christian person and still be flawed. Christians often hide sex addiction because they fear losing their church community.

Many of the challenges of sex addiction are similar for those who deal with it, but the feeling of being an amoral or bad person tends to be stronger for Christians. It’s vital for them to understand that they aren’t bad people. They have a problem.

How Should Christians Deal with Sex Addiction?

How do Christians deal with sex addiction? Individual Christians often deal with sex addiction by hiding it because of the fear and shame they associate with sin. Sadly, the Church often isn’t a lot of help in dealing with sex addiction either, simply because they don’t know how.

“When Christians come forward and seek help, specifically from the Church, church leaders don’t deal well with sex addiction,” said Matthew Wenger, Clinical Director at Boulder Recovery. 

He said church leaders aren’t equipped to help people with compulsive sexual behavior because they don’t fully understand the issue or how to address it.

“They have the best intentions, but they make unintentional mistakes that can harm those that come to them for help,” he stated.

Therefore, Christians tend to suffer in silence. They’re afraid of letting others down or being judged or abandoned by the Church.

“Addiction discovery can result in the loss of family, home, and sometimes even employment. And a loss of connection to their Church can be devastating,” Matt noted. “This can also feel like abandonment or disconnection from God, especially when their status as a Christian is called into question.”

Instead of coming forward, Christians with sex addiction often:

Hide

Experience guilt and shame

Act out compulsively

Deal with confusion 

Face paralysis

Feel fear

This tendency to try to hide, condemn, and deal with addiction alone is the opposite of what results in effective recovery. It’s also counter to what the Church believes and stands for.

The Christian Approach to Recovery

Christians can better help those in need by understanding more about addiction, including sex addiction. For example, many people in the Church may not realize that addiction is almost always the result of unresolved trauma. The person with the addiction needs support to understand this trauma, heal from it, and then address their behavior.

“The church is not bad or wrong for attempting to help members struggling with addiction. Sometimes an issue is simply out of their realm of expertise. It’s OK to ask for help,” Matt said. “Being a spiritual leader is not about knowing all the answers. It’s about having the humility to go and try to hunt them down for the people you care for.”

Ways for Christian leaders and churches to adequately address sex addiction include:

Seeking Knowledge. The more people understand addiction and how it happens, the better prepared they are to help those in need. Christians would serve themselves and their church communities better by having a greater understanding of trauma and addiction.

Acting with Love and Respect. A person with sex addiction is a fellow Christian and human being. They should be treated with love and respect.

Providing Support. People working on recovery need support. The Church is uniquely positioned to provide that faith-based community they need.

Training. Giving church and Christian leaders the tools to truly help those with sex addiction is part of equipping them “for every good work” (2 Timothy 3:17). If a person is in a position that makes them a resource for others, they need training on addiction. That way, they understand how to respond when someone comes to them for help.

Referral Resources. Church leaders should encourage people who come to them with addictions to get the help they need, even outside the Church. Healing should always be the desired outcome.

If you or a loved one is living with sex addiction, it’s possible to seek support without sacrificing your faith. It’s challenging, but recovery is possible.

Seeking Help at Boulder Recovery

Boulder Recovery helps men with sex, pornography, and intimacy issues who want to recover from addiction in a faith-based environment. Our 14-Day Men’s Intensive helps men face these issues and deal with the root causes, including unresolved trauma. Contact us to start your journey to recovery.

Source: https://beginagaininstitute.com/christian/how-do-christians-deal-with-sex-addiction/

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IS WATCHING PORN CHEATING FOR CHRISTIANS?

Pornographic content is easily available online, and it may seem like a private activity that no one ever needs to know about. But is watching porn cheating if you’re a Christian? Yes, according to the Bible, it is.

Sexual Impurity and Christianity 

God wants people to save their bodies for marriage and never stray from their partners. By watching porn, you commit adultery and lust because you aren’t staying pure in the eyes of God. Sexual impurity in a Christian relationship causes serious issues that affect your relationship and faith. 

Why sexual impurity is a sin:

The Bible Says So. Lust is considered a sin of the heart, and adultery is a sin of the body. Jesus’ point in Matthew 5 is that, contrary to the culture of the time, one is not less bad than the other. God wants your heart, not just your obedience. 

Infidelity is Destructive. In a marriage, secrets and infidelity can damage the relationship and your partner. It implies feelings of inadequacy and unwantedness. By watching porn, you’re isolating yourself from your partner and destroying your intimacy. 

A Strong Relationship Demands Faithfulness. The world is full of sin, and sometimes it’s difficult to remain faithful to God’s plan. But to have a strong relationship with God, you must persevere and push through the temptations. 

Is Watching Porn Cheating for Christians?

For most Christians, porn viewership is considered an act of unfaithfulness. Watching porn harms relationships as the user of porn can become emotionally unavailable to their partner and sexually disconnected. It also can cause serious emotional and psychological damage through repeated betrayal. Not to mention lying and gaslighting to cover it up, much of which is exactly like the act of physically cheating. 

Matt Wenger, Clinical Director at Boulder Recovery, said most Christians consider porn use an act of unfaithfulness. 

“Words like ‘infidelity’ or ‘cheating’ are sometimes used for porn usage in Christian marriages, but are most often reserved for physical, sexual acts with a person outside the marriage,” he said.

The Potential Consequences of Porn Use

While in the moment, watching porn seems to fulfill a need, there are consequences to the behavior. Watching porn could affect not only you but your family, friends, work, and church community. 

Repeatedly watching porn to deal with adverse emotions, including sadness or stress, could result in porn addiction. 

Signs that you may have porn addiction include:

You hide or lie about your porn habits.

You clear your browser history or take other steps to avoid getting caught.

The type of porn you watch escalates over time.

You start to prefer watching porn over sex with your spouse.

You develop an expectation for your sex life to be like the porn you watch

Watching porn interferes with your career, social connections, or marriage

You try to stop watching porn, but you can’t

Developing a pornography addiction doesn’t happen overnight. And it may indicate a bigger emotional health concern. You may need help to stop your porn addiction. 

Preventing Porn Use

Don’t lose hope! There are ways to recover from porn addiction or just stop porn use. Allow yourself to be open to the healing journey and use your Christian faith as strength to persevere.

Ways to prevent porn use:

Communicate With Your Partner. Tell your partner when you feel the urge to look at porn and allow them to support you. Communicate your desires and try to share that intimately with your partner. 

Be Honest With Your Partner. By being honest, you help combat trust issues within the relationship and allow your partner a chance to let you in again. Your partner is there to support you without judgment or ridicule. Allow them the chance to be there for you. 

Heal Unresolved Trauma. By visiting with a mental health professional and seeking therapy, you could heal unresolved trauma that will allow you to move past pornography and into your desired life. 

Turn to Spiritual Guidance. Seek support from trusted members of your church that will allow you to call on them in times of need. Seek friendship and prayer to help you through your darkest moments. 

Have a Strong Relationship. Take moments out of each day to build a stronger relationship with your partner and God. Do little things that can add up and show improvement and a willingness to change. 

Boulder Recovery Can Help

If viewing porn has become something you can’t stop doing or it’s impacting your intimate relationships, Boulder Recovery can help. We offer treatment for men with porn, sex, and intimacy issues through our 14-day Christian Men’s Intensive program. Contact us today to begin your healing journey.

Source: https://beginagaininstitute.com/christian/is-watching-porn-cheating-for-christians/

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IS WATCHING PORN A SIN FOR CHRISTIANS?

Cheating and adultery are sins, but what if you’re not physically taking action, just simply watching it? Watching porn is taboo for public discussion, but it’s essential to understand that it’s OK to ask and seek help whether you’ve done it once or frequently because, yes, watching porn is a sin. 

Why You May Ask if Watching Porn is a Sin for Christians

You may feel guilty after watching porn and wonder why. You may even ask yourself if what you are doing is bad and ask God for guidance. 

Ways to notice that something might be a sin:

You aren’t sure if what you’re doing is wrong.

You have feelings of guilt and shame.

You find an excuse to continue even though you don’t feel right about it. 

You hurt yourself and those you love.

You think you have an addiction because you want to stop, but you can’t.

Why Watching Porn is a Sin 

Along your healing journey, it is essential to understand why watching porn is a sin. By doing so, you learn God’s true plan and how important it is to stay on the correct path. 

 Matt Wenger, Clinical Director at Boulder Recovery, said watching porn is a sin for many reasons, including what it does to the viewer, their partner, and society.

“It dehumanizes those depicted in it and makes it much more likely that its users will objectify others,” he said.

In addition, Matt explained that pornography “perpetuates a worldwide culture of human sexualization, in which it is acceptable to view humans as objects of sexual desire and not people.” He said this view results in things like human trafficking.

“Using porn is not a ‘victimless crime,’” he said. “Using pornography perpetuates harm against the innocent and is out of line with God’s character.”

Matt warns that watching porn can hurt your partners and damage your marriage or relationship. 

“The user of porn can become emotionally unavailable to their partner (as they are numbed out in addiction), sexually disconnected, and cause deep emotional and psychological damage through the repeated betrayals of discovering the use of porn. Not to mention lying and gaslighting to cover it up,” he said. 

Not only is it harmful to your partner, but Matt goes on to say that pornography use is harmful and damaging to the individual viewing it.  

How watching porn can harm you:

Increased isolation from others

Leads to addiction

Inaccurate portrayal of relationships and sex

Gives you negative feelings about yourself 

Degrades women or yourself

Breaking relationship agreements 

Pornography and the Biblical Connection to Lust

Pornography itself isn’t mentioned anywhere in the Bible. So, Matt said, it’s most often connected to the sin of lust.

 Jesus says in Matthew 5:27: 

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

Matt said Jesus is responding to a culture that is more concerned with the letter of the law than their hearts. Jesus is communicating that your heart matters to God, he said.

“The mistake that is often made is that Christians take Jesus’ comment on the letter of the law to make a NEW letter of the law that lust = adultery. Which, of course, it is not,” Matt explained. “Lust and adultery are serious sins, and they are not the same. But this does not let lust off the hook.”

Lust is the desire to have something that doesn’t belong to you, Matt explained. It’s a sin of the heart and a lack of trust in God.

“It’s an indication that we do not trust that God has our best in mind or knows what is best for us,” he said. “Lust is a violation of trust in God. It says, ‘not only is that thing desirable, but I want it for myself, regardless of consequence.’” 

While lust and adultery aren’t the same, they’re still both sinful, Matt said. 

“God wants our hearts, not just our obedience,” he said. “So we can say that pornography is a sin because it violates the character of God as someone who gives us what we need.” 

On a deeper level, porn is a sin because it violates a person’s belief in God and doctrine. 

“As image bearers of God (Gen 1:26), we were designed to live in relationship with God and others in this way also. Porn develops and forms (literally in the brain) a new way of relating to others that imitates intimacy without any of its true vibrance,” Matt explained. “This formation moves us further from true intimacy with ourselves and others.” 

Seeking Help for Pornography Addiction

If you watch porn and feel shame or it’s affecting your life and relationships, seeking help can positively impact your life. There are ways to heal from pornography addictions, and by working with God, you can get your life back. Remember these steps when approaching your healing journey. 

Recognize the Problem

Becoming self-aware of your actions and how viewing porn affects you and those around you can help you recognize that you have a problem and need to consider seeking help from a licensed professional. 

Commit to Recovery

To succeed, you must give 100% to your recovery process. Put your heart and soul into giving up your bad habits and creating the life you desire. When you feel weak, pray and talk with someone, like a friend or church member. 

Get Professional Help

Finding the right treatment plan and therapist is crucial to your success in healing from pornography addiction. You need someone who can understand and respect your beliefs and help you live accordingly. 

Renew Your Faith

Make a plan with God to renew your faith and start living the life you’ve imagined. Reinvigorating your faith can help you overcome obstacles that may arise, and having God as a support line can help.

How Boulder Recovery Can Help

Boulder Recovery offers a 14-day Christian Men’s Intensive that focuses on helping men overcome their sex or pornography addiction and heal intimacy wounds while following their Christian faith. Contact us to learn more about how we can help you.

Source: https://beginagaininstitute.com/christian/is-watching-porn-a-sin-for-christians/

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HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE SEX ADDICTS?

An estimated 12 to 30 million people in America live with sex addiction. The range is so broad because people misunderstand sex addiction, and it relies on people to self-report the habit. But, regardless of whether the true number is on the lower or higher side of the range, sex addiction affects many people.

Sex addiction is an often misunderstood topic shrouded in a stigma of shame. It doesn’t mean someone enjoys sex too much. Sex addiction usually stems from trauma, causing a person to seek sexual gratification as a coping mechanism until the behavior becomes uncontrollable. 

The more people discuss sex addiction, the better they can understand why it happens and how to recover. Why does the number of people addicted to sex continue to grow, and how many people are sex addicts?

What is Sex Addiction?

Sex addiction is also known as compulsive sexual behavior, hypersexuality, or hypersexuality disorder. It’s when a person experiences uncontrollable sexual urges and thoughts and becomes dependent on sexual reward. A person with sex addiction usually spends hours thinking about sex, planning for sex, or engaging in sexual activity, even if it repeatedly interferes with daily activities. Sex addiction can harm a person’s relationships, finances, job, and well-being. They may have tried to curb or quit on their own but have been unsuccessful. 

How Many People Are Sex Addicts? The Data Behind the Addiction 

Millions of Americans are addicted to sex, and that rate could be increasing as 8.6% of Americans encounter difficulty controlling sexual feelings, urges, and behaviors. These statistics are a significant indicator of the impact of sex addiction on public health.

Despite sex addiction gaining traction in the United States, it’s impossible to know how many people actually experience it. Data may not represent real prevalence because of a lack of research and resources. Sex addiction statistics primarily rely on self-reporting, which is almost always inaccurate. People often experience shame or guilt surrounding their addiction, causing self-reporting to be low. The social stigma surrounding the topic can affect reporting even if someone is willing to open up about it. 

Factors Contributing to the Prevalence of Sex Addiction

Sex addiction is complicated, so it can be difficult to pinpoint the catalyst that jumpstarts the addiction. You may not realize how debilitating sex addiction becomes before it overtakes your life. 

Factors that contribute to the increase in sex addiction:

Rise of Technology. Sex addiction escalates due to the “triple-A” impact: accessibility, affordability, and anonymity. Despite being a private or intimate activity, almost anyone anywhere can access sex whenever they want. While some porn sites charge a subscription, many operate for free or low cost. With private browsers and a quick “erase history,” records of porn use are gone, making it easy to hide from others. And hookup apps are prevalent today.

Social Pressure. Hookup culture and the prevalence of chat rooms and apps like Tinder increase the popularity of engaging in casual sex. The more people engaging in sexual activity around you, the more likely you are to become desensitized to the behavior. Once you start, it can be difficult to stop.

Co-Occurring Disorders. A co-occurring disorder refers to mental health disorders that happen simultaneously. For example, a person may use drugs or alcohol to facilitate sexual activity or to numb the pain of sex addiction, developing a second addiction in the process. 

Traumatic Experiences. Unresolved trauma is the most common cause of addiction. A person can use sex as a coping mechanism for dealing with traumatic experiences that happened as an adult or even as a child. During sex, your brain releases a chemical called dopamine, giving you bursts of pleasure. The pleasure temporarily numbs the pain, causing your brain to associate sex with feeling better, even temporarily.  

Lack of Community. Because so few people talk about sex addiction, it can be isolating. Those with sex addiction may continue the behavior simply because they don’t know how to stop. They may not even really understand what’s wrong. With no one to look to for guidance, the habits worsen, spiraling into an endless cycle.

Matt Wenger, LPC, Clinical Director at Begin Again Institute, said sex addiction most often stems from an unresolved traumatic past experience.

“Sex addiction arises from a need to regulate an unregulated nervous system. Those feelings of distress originated from traumatic experiences when they were younger,” he said.

Spotting the Signs of Sex Addiction 

One singular practice or behavior doesn’t define sex addiction. People may participate in various sexual behaviors, such as performing sexual acts, viewing pornography, or excessive masturbation. The hallmark of addiction is attempting to stop the behavior and being unable to. That’s a sign that you probably need to seek help.

Symptoms of sex addiction include: 

Obsessive sexual thoughts

Lack of sexual control

Inability to refuse compulsions

Excessively watching porn

Low self-esteem

Lack of empathy

Defensiveness

Feeling guilty after acting on impulses

Ignoring obligations

Intense aggression or anger

Engaging in risky acts

Feeling hopeless or helpless

Treating Sex Addiction

Sex addiction is challenging to overcome, but sobriety is possible. To have the best chance at recovery, you probably need to seek professional help. This need for professional help is essential if your behavior is escalating and you feel like you can’t control or stop it. Also, if you begin experiencing negative consequences as a result of your behavior. 

Mental health professionals treat sex addiction in various ways. The treatment depends specifically on your individual needs.

Two common therapies for sex addiction are:

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. CBT is when you and your counselor identify unhelpful thinking patterns and learned behaviors. You then work together to recognize how distorted perceptions can create problems in your life. It gives you the tools to resolve difficult situations and develop a greater sense of confidence.

Eye Movement Desensitization and Processing. EMDR is especially helpful for people recovering from traumatic experiences. Your counselor helps you make sense of the trauma so it becomes less upsetting and its impact on your life diminishes. 

When choosing sex addiction treatment, people should look for treatment that is trauma focused, Matt said. He said they also should make sure the treatment is holistic.

“Effective addiction treatment encounters the brain, body, and emotions,” he said. “Mere education is not enough.”

You deserve support and proper treatment for sex addiction, just like you do for any other illness or injury. The sooner you seek help, the quicker you’ll be on the road to recovery.

Getting Help for Sex Addiction

The number of people with sex addiction increases consistently. This addiction negatively impacts your life and is unlikely to go away on its own. But with proper treatment, you can find relief. 

At Begin Again Institute, we recognize the complexity of sex addiction and address the root cause. We help real people every day learn skills to achieve lasting recovery. Contact us today to turn your life around and get the help you need.

Source: https://beginagaininstitute.com/blog/how-many-people-are-sex-addicts/

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SEX ADDICTION: SYMPTOMS AND TREATMENT

Sex addiction is a psychological disorder characterized by compulsive sexual thoughts and behaviors that negatively impact a person’s life. As with other addictions, sex addiction often sparks destructive habits in which the person engages in sexual gratification, regardless of personal consequences and despite any detriment to personal relationships and daily life.

As a type of compulsive behavior, it affects an individual’s ability to engage in healthy relationships, work and school, and social activities. It causes a loss of control of sexual thoughts and activities, resulting in a destructive pattern of behavior.

Treating sex addiction relies on specialized knowledge of its causes and the various sex addiction symptoms and treatment options.

How is Sex Addiction Diagnosed?

There isn’t an official diagnostic criterion for sex addiction yet, but it can be determined by spotting the symptoms.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), the official manual for diagnosing mental health conditions, doesn’t have a category for sex addiction. But it has a section on hypersexuality disorder and states that excessive sexual thoughts or behaviors can be considered an addiction if they cause “significant impairment” in your life.

If you feel like you have issues related to sex addiction — whether it’s because you can’t stop masturbating or watching porn or because you’re concerned about a loved one — there are certain symptoms you can look for.

Sex Addiction: Symptoms and Treatment

A mental health professional can recognize sex addiction. They will then help you understand the root cause of the addiction, understand and heal from it, then stop the behaviors. 

Understanding the Symptoms

Understanding the symptoms of sex addiction can help you recognize it and begin to consider various treatment options. These symptoms include:

Acting Against Beliefs. Indulging in sexual behaviors opposed to one’s own beliefs and that are considered sinful.

Dishonesty. Lying to oneself, spouse, or other loved ones about sexual behaviors.

Distress in Daily Life. Consistent stress or anxiety, guilt, and shame over the behavior.

Feeling Remorseful. Regret over dishonesty, distress, and the behavior itself.

Lack of Control. Inability to stop certain behaviors, regardless of the consequences.

Obsession. Fixation on sexual content or adverse emotions which trigger behavior.

Relationship Problems. Trust issues, fighting, and other relationship problems because of the behavior.

Inability to Stop. Sexual behavior is increasing, and you can’t stop, even when you try. 

Unsafe Sex. Pursuit of intercourse with others without regard to personal health or relationships.

Addressing these symptoms, regardless of which ones you experience, is best done through structured support, such as psychological treatment.

Common Forms of Treatment

There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to treating sex addiction because everyone’s needs differ. Finding a licensed professional and recovery center that understands your specific needs and can offer personalized care and support for your recovery goals is essential.

When choosing treatment, consider:

Co-Addiction Therapy. This type of therapy treats both sex addiction and a co-occurring mental health disorder, like anxiety or depression.

In-Patient Programs. These programs require patients to live at the facility for a certain period while undergoing treatment that includes group therapy, psychoeducation, and individual counseling.

Intensives. Intensives, like Boulder Recovery’s 14-day Christian Men’s Intensive, help launch Christian men into recovery while restoring their faith.

Partner Support. Sex addiction impacts marriages and partners may experience betrayal trauma. Partner support programs help the partner of someone with sex addiction heal.

Psychotherapy. Individual therapy with a trained professional, especially with a faith-based approach, is critical when addressing sex addiction behaviors and habits.

Self-Help Groups. Support is vital to restoring and healing the various causes of sex addiction. Regardless of the severity of any behaviors, self-help is ideal for ongoing support.

Various treatment options exist for sex addiction. Understanding sex addiction symptoms and treatment helps you consider the right options for you.

When to Seek Treatment for Sex Addiction

There are many reasons a person may seek treatment for sex addiction. For example, many people with sex addiction experience the inability to control their impulses, which can lead to serious consequences. Other times, people may need help with their physical or mental health to get back on track and lead healthier lives.

Sex addiction is a serious mental health issue. Matt Wenger, Clinical Director at Boulder Recovery, said treatment is necessary to heal from sex addiction.

“Treatment allows men to deal with the underlying trauma that resulted in the addiction and provides new and more effective tools for combating urges,” he said. “Sex addiction treatment can result in experiencing life in a more grounded, emotionally connected way. Clients who go through treatment often begin a new life more aligned with their values and authentic self.”

Find Help at Boulder Recovery

There are various forms of treatment for sex addiction. If you’re looking for help with sex addiction symptoms and treatment, consider seeking faith-based treatment that accommodates your beliefs – while still providing the professional help you deserve. Contact Boulder Recovery to learn more.

Source: https://beginagaininstitute.com/christian/sex-addiction-symptoms-and-treatment/

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HOW CAN CHRISTIANS PREVENT SEX ADDICTION?

Christians deal with exposure to sexual content daily. It seems like it’s everywhere, and it can feel overwhelming when you recognize how much sexuality and sexual objectification permeates society. 

It may feel like temptation is everywhere. With all this exposure, how can Christians prevent sex addiction?

Unfortunately, there’s no cure-all for compulsive sexual behavior. Paying attention to triggers and avoiding various situations where you’re exposed to sexual stimuli helps, but it may not prevent the behavior or compulsion from occurring.

Understanding Sex Addiction 

Before assuming there’s a way to prevent sexual addiction, it helps to understand its potential underlying causes and symptoms. Addressing it and avoiding triggers are only possible once you know the signs.

Sex addiction is a type of compulsive sexual behavior. It consists of pornography and masturbation addictions too.

Symptoms of compulsive sexual behavior include:

Sexual activities seem more important to your well-being than other activities

Putting your sexual urges before other responsibilities and duties

Feeling like you can’t resist sexual temptations

Reckless engagement in sexual behaviors

Inability to form or maintain healthy relationships 

Trying and failing to stop the adverse behavior

Using sex to escape negative feelings

Having multiple affairs, sexual partners, or one-night stands

Feeling detached and unsatisfied by sexual activities

Isolating to fulfill sexual urges

The origins of sexual addiction can be challenging to pinpoint because they are often deeply rooted in unresolved trauma. To fully understand why someone experiences this behavior, you have to know what they’ve been through. The trauma they experienced could even have occurred in childhood. 

Regardless of the type of traumatic experience or when it happened, it will likely have resulted in extreme stress or other negative emotions that continue today. Attempting to cope with these negative emotions results in using sexual behavior to feel better. Once a person does that enough times, an addiction forms, and they can’t stop.

How Can Christians Prevent Sex Addiction?

Now that you understand that sex addiction is likely the result of a deeper mental health concern, it’s clear why preventing sex addiction is challenging. If addiction stems from unresolved trauma, then it will occur unless people recognize and treat trauma. And, just like anyone else, Christians aren’t immune to traumatic experiences or difficulty coping with them.

“Christians can’t prevent sex addiction because Christians are human beings and prone to sin just like everyone else,” said T.C. Ryan, author of “Ashamed No More: A Pastor’s Journey Through Sex Addiction” and pastoral consultant at Boulder Recovery.

“But, through a better understanding of addiction and coming at it from a place of grace, the Church can become healthier, create buffers for addiction, and better help those in need,” he continued.

Ways to buffer sex addiction include:

Focus on your relationship with God and avoid doing things that are out of line with your faith

Determine and follow your own standards of sexual purity

Seek accountability by setting rules like not being alone with members of the opposite sex

Manage urges with healthy coping like journaling or exercise 

Set boundaries in relationships 

Stick to healthy routines

Participate in a supportive community like church peer groups

Ask for help if you feel tempted to do something outside of your beliefs

It’s possible to do all of the things above and still find that you have an addiction. But avoiding any compulsive sexual behaviors right from the beginning will keep you from justifying these behaviors while an addiction forms.

Preparing for Tempting Situations

To prevent compulsive sexual behavior, it’s essential to know what you can do to prepare for temptations that might trigger you to behave outside of your beliefs or relapse if you’re healing from sex addiction.

Challenging situations you may face include:

Traumatic Events. You can’t necessarily avoid trauma, but you can develop strong support, healthier habits, and coping mechanisms to deal with unforeseen events when or if they arise.

Social Situations. Avoid situations with people who encourage sexual promiscuity, disregard your personal beliefs, or promote activities, like drinking or drugs, that diminish your ability to regulate your boundaries.

Relational Conflicts. Relationships have challenges. Try to deal with those challenges as a couple instead of letting stress build that may result in negative behavior.

Traveling. When travel disrupts routines, it’s easier to make excuses for things you may not normally do. Consider traveling with your spouse or significant other. 

Visual Environments. Certain restaurants, bars, and other settings may be full of sexually explicit content. Avoiding areas like this can help reduce sexual urges.

Periods of Isolation. Too much time alone can generate adverse emotions and increase the likelihood of justifying stress relief or emotional escape via sexual behavior. Surround yourself with loved ones who share your beliefs and care about your well-being.

Seasons of High Stress. Ongoing periods of stress aren’t always avoidable. Instead of seeking an escape, it’s important to develop and lean on healthy coping mechanisms for stress relief.

Preventing Sex Addiction

Preventing sex addiction is challenging. People often justify compulsive sexual behavior and don’t realize it’s developed into an addiction before it’s too late. The best way to prevent sex addiction is to never participate in any potentially damaging sexual activity, like watching pornography or even engaging in flirtation outside your relationship.

If you’re concerned about sexual addiction, Boulder Recovery is here to help. If you have questions or need help recovering, contact us.

Source: https://beginagaininstitute.com/christian/how-can-christians-prevent-sex-addiction/

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WHAT IS PORN ADDICTION?

From a young age, people learn that watching pornography is taboo. Though most people are exposed to porn in their teen years, it’s made clear by teachers, parents, and media that viewing it is shameful. Porn isn’t inherently evil. Not everyone watching porn will get addicted. But for those who become obsessed with watching porn, it can have devastating consequences. 

The stigma surrounding porn addiction may make it difficult to seek help and get treatment. What is porn addiction? It’s when you find that you can’t stop watching porn and it’s disrupting your life. Millions of people worldwide experience porn addiction. There are effective methods of treatment for porn addiction that can pinpoint the root cause of the addiction and help you heal.

What is Porn Addiction?

Porn addiction is when a person compulsively views porn to the point that they become emotionally dependent on it. They can’t stop, and their pornography habit affects their everyday life. Porn addiction is a hypersexuality disorder, which refers to an obsession with sexual fantasies or urges. 

Watching porn frequently doesn’t mean you’re addicted. You’re experiencing porn addiction if it becomes a major focus in your life, interferes with your daily life, and you can’t quit, despite trying. If porn has disrupted your relationships, finances, or work, it’s time to get help.

Like other addictions, porn addiction operates through the principles of operant conditioning. The more you watch porn, the more the behavior is reinforced. You experience pleasure from watching porn which keeps you coming back for more. You become dependent on the “reward,” which influences you to continue the behavior. 

People don’t commonly discuss porn addiction, but the rates of those affected are climbing, estimated to be anywhere from about 4.5% to 10% of people. So, what makes porn addiction so easy to fall into? It comes down to the “triple-A” impact: accessibility, affordability, and anonymity. 

Despite being a private or intimate activity, almost anyone anywhere can access porn whenever they want. With one click, you can connect to endless content. While some porn sites charge a subscription, many operate for free or low cost. With private browsers and a quick “erase history,” records of porn use are gone, making it easy to hide from others. 

Why People Use Pornography  

The draw to watching porn doesn’t just stem from wanting to feel aroused for some people. Pornography can be a coping method a person uses to soothe or calm themselves in stressful or challenging situations. It serves as a temporary escape, but it fails long-term. The longer your porn use continues, the more difficult it is to stop because this adverse coping mechanism rewires your brain.

Experts say the same brain activity is triggered by porn addiction as drug or alcohol addiction. Pornography connects the circuits in your brain associated with reward, motivation, and memory. Much like those experiencing substance addiction, people addicted to porn experience intense cravings. You become absorbed by the anticipation of watching porn. But when you finally get your fix, it’s not all you thought it would be. You can become irritable or hostile until you get your next hit. It’s a vicious cycle holding you hostage. 

Reasons for pornography include:

Coping. When you experience an orgasm from watching porn, your brain gets a “high.” You feel a release of endorphins and opiates and attach them to the image of porn. That release feels good and blocks pain receptors. If you are experiencing an imbalance of these chemicals due to depression or other mental illnesses, porn can make you feel better. But it’s not a permanent solution. The longer you continue using porn as an artificial medicine, the higher your tolerance becomes until you eventually can’t experience the same pleasure you did before. The “solution” becomes the addiction. 

Avoiding. Those who use porn to avoid feelings of intimacy may have difficulty forming or maintaining intimate relationships. You may feel disconnected during sex or irritated that real sexual acts don’t match your fantasy world. It can cause distress and strife in relationships if you blame your partner for issues, even if it stems from your porn addiction. Detaching from true intimacy and preferring porn to real life is at the core of avoidance. 

Escaping. Someone who experienced abuse, neglect, bullying, or other trauma in their childhood or adult life may use porn to escape the trauma. Porn is a fantasy world. Watching porn can make you feel desired, wanted, powerful, or even loved. If you haven’t experienced these feelings naturally, it can be freeing to escape to the virtual world of porn. It feels safe.  

Spotting Porn Addiction 

Watching porn can quickly escalate from a habit to a debilitating addiction. There’s no official amount of how much porn is too much, so reflecting on your habits will help you determine if you should seek treatment. 

If watching porn intensifies to the point of compulsive, uncontrollable behavior, it can cause long-term damage that takes time and effort to repair. When porn gets in the way of day-to-day activities and plays a central role in your life, it may be time to get help, especially if you find you can’t stop on your own. 

If you’re concerned about your porn consumption habits, there are signs you can look for to determine if you’re experiencing porn addiction. 

Signs of porn addiction include:

Increased porn use

Feeling guilty about watching 

Inability to control your urges

No longer enjoying sex

Watching porn in inappropriate settings

Spending excessive time watching porn or money on porn

Feeling an insatiable need

Increased tolerance for more extreme or violent porn

Consuming thoughts of porn

Neglecting responsibilities to view more porn

Feeling like you need a porn “fix”

Experiencing low self-esteem

Losing sleep 

Having difficulty controlling your emotions

Losing track of time due to watching porn 

Hiding your porn watching from loved ones

Lack of interest in socializing 

Experiencing sexual dysfunction

Porn Addiction and the Brain

It’s more than just pleasure bringing you back for more. In fact, many people with porn addictions say they don’t enjoy watching porn but still can’t stop. That’s because watching porn affects your brain’s neurochemistry. 

When someone has a porn addiction, it hijacks their brain’s reward system. The reward system processes dopamine, one of the body’s neurotransmitters. Porn hardwires your brain into thinking continuous dopamine stimulation is normal. The next time you watch, the brain remembers that stimulation and reacts accordingly. The more you watch, the more reinforced the behavior becomes. Your reward system becomes trained to expect porn and expect it often. 

Additionally, oxytocin and vasopressin, hormones related to memory, tie the memory of viewing porn to sexual pleasure. Repetition of the behaviors means these chemicals are continuously released. It’s difficult to stop something that feels good to your brain.

When you continuously experience bursts of dopamine, the brain goes into overdrive, overproducing more dopamine than it can handle. It starts to become desensitized to normal stimuli, meaning you need more extreme porn to get the same fix. You’ll start to experience downregulation, which is when receptors make your brain and body less receptive to the substance you’re seeking. Essentially, you build tolerance by shutting down the receptors in your brain.

You begin to develop cravings, and they’re impossible to control. The brain forms a chemical dependence and tolerance for these cravings, and they increase compulsively. It’s all about recreating that initial dopamine high and satisfying your cravings.

When you repeatedly expose your brain to porn, it causes the frontal lobe to shrink. This portion of the brain is responsible for decision-making and willpower. It becomes more difficult to recognize the negative impact porn has on your life and take action against it. 

To fulfill your cravings, sexual behavior can escalate. The typical porn that used to make you feel good doesn’t do the trick anymore. You might seek out more explicit or violent porn. This response can lead to acting out risky sexual behaviors in real life. Suddenly, the problem isn’t confined to your computer screen but has real-world consequences. 

Repercussions of Porn Addiction

Porn addiction is a multifaceted problem that can devastate many aspects of your life. It’s clear how quickly the addiction can escalate out of your control and take a toll on your relationships, health, and well-being. 

Effects of pornography addiction include:

Physical Health Issues. Porn can quickly take priority over basic care, like getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, or performing basic hygiene. It also can negatively affect your ability to perform sexually, including causing erectile dysfunction.

Altered Self-Esteem. Those experiencing porn addiction often feel guilt and shame about it. It can cause serious distress to your emotional and mental health and deprive a person of their self-esteem and self-concept.

Mental Health Issues. Aside from issues with self-esteem, pornography addiction also can result in or exacerbate other mental health conditions like depression or anxiety.

Damaged Relationships. Porn addiction can harm your relationships with loved ones. Hiding or lying about your addiction affects trust with your partner. It builds a wedge in your relationship by causing intimacy issues or infidelity. Porn addiction can also affect friendships. Some people may feel as if they are living a double life, making it more difficult to form honest friendships. They also withdraw from others, harming relationships.

Legal and Financial Problems. Addiction only gets more intense. As their need for more porn increases, so does the risk, which is why some people turn to expensive or illegal porn to fulfill their needs.

Determining the Root Causes 

So, what causes someone to become addicted to porn? Like most addictions, there isn’t always a singular contributor to porn addiction, but unresolved trauma is the most common cause of addiction. People use pornography to deal with adverse feelings resulting from past trauma. Then, before they know it, they’ve turned to pornography to feel better so many times that it’s an addiction. They can’t stop.

Leading sex addiction expert, Dr. Patrick Carnes, found that “97% of people with sex addiction suffered emotional abuse in childhood or adolescence, while 81% percent suffered sexual abuse.” When a child experiences trauma, the part of the brain responsible for processing emotion and memory shrinks. Trauma also affects other parts of the brain, like decision-making, self-regulation, and fear processing.

Trauma in childhood doesn’t go away if left unprocessed. It’s not unusual for people to experience symptoms of childhood trauma in adulthood. Unprocessed trauma that happens in adulthood also can result in addiction. Turning to coping methods like porn is common since your brain attaches a positive sentiment to the behavior. It can provide temporary relief or distraction from trauma. 

Dr. Gabor Mate´, author of the best-selling book, “Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction,” said: “Addiction is not a choice that anybody makes; it’s not a moral failure. What it actually is: it’s a response to human suffering.”

Recognizing Withdrawal Symptoms

Like any other addiction, cutting off porn for good has negative side effects that can be uncomfortable and disrupt your life. It’s important to recognize common porn withdrawal symptoms and how to overcome them to help you on your road to sobriety.

Nate Geyer, Primary Therapist at Begin Again Institute, said a person can identify the symptoms of pornography withdrawal by considering how they feel and noting how those feelings align with what they know about the addiction.

Withdrawal symptoms can manifest in various ways, Nate said.  

“Under the surface, pornography withdrawal can impact one’s emotional and mental well-being,” he said. “Those experiencing withdrawal will notice increased irritability, higher anxiety, depressed mood, lack of presence in the moment, lack of empathy, and ultimately cravings for more pornography.”

Other porn withdrawal symptoms include:

Sleep disturbances

Headaches and stiffness or pain in other parts of your body

Fatigue and weakness

Agitation

Lashing out at people around you

Lack of focus or concentration (brain fog)

Nausea, fever, and other forms of sickness

Little or no sexual desire, known as a “flatline”

Excessive sexual thoughts

Depression, despair, and other forms of sadness

Mood swings

Avoiding socializing

Flashbacks or dreams about pornography

Managing Porn Withdrawal

Coping with pornography withdrawal symptoms can be challenging, but overcoming setbacks is possible. Managing porn withdrawals takes mental discipline. If you’re struggling, remind yourself of your goals and why you made them. You are more than your porn addiction, and you do have the ability to overcome it. 

Methods for managing porn withdrawal include:

Taking care of your physical health through sleep, healthy diet, hydration, and exercise

Not isolating yourself

Learning about your withdrawal symptoms so you understand them and what to expect

Changing your environment and removing temptations, such as electronic devices

Practicing meditation

Seeking professional help

Confiding in loved ones

Journaling about your experiences

Joining a support group

Finding replacement hobbies

Treatment for Porn Addiction

Healing from porn addiction is possible, but it takes mental discipline and patience. There are methods you can employ on your own, but you may need to seek professional treatment to overcome porn addiction long-term. Porn addiction isn’t likely to go away on its own, and you’ll probably need help identifying and treating the root cause to truly recover.

Individual approaches to stopping porn addiction include: 

Remove Access. Clear all electronic porn and bookmarks from your devices. Take away the temptation. If it’s no longer at your fingertips, it’s less likely to become your default habit. 

Block It. Install anti-porn software on your computer to prevent you from going back. You can’t access it if your devices don’t allow it. Asking someone else to install it can help with accountability.

Pre-Plan Activities. If you know you’ll experience the urge, find a replacement. By planning stimulating activities you enjoy, you can trick your brain into replacing the feeling of watching porn. 

Avoid Triggers. Know what your triggers are and avoid them. Reflect on your habits and when you feel most tempted. Stay away from images, places, or feelings that could cause you to relapse.

Control Use of Devices. Use your devices, like your cell phone or laptop, in public places. It’s more difficult to be discreet in front of others. Hold yourself accountable, and don’t let your device use become private.

Seek Support. Find an accountability partner. Confide in a trusted friend and ask for help. You’re more likely to stick to your goal with someone encouraging you.

Practice Self-Reflection. Journaling can help you track setbacks, reminders, and patterns in your behavior. Celebrate the wins you have each day.

Treatment for porn addiction may include: 

Psychotherapy. With the help of a mental health counselor, you can work together to understand the past events that led to your addiction. Over time, you can recognize maladaptive behaviors, determine your unmet needs, and implement coping strategies.

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT). This treatment helps replace problematic behaviors through the principles of operant conditioning. This method makes an association between a behavior and a consequence with long-lasting effects. Utilizing this method, you can learn to manage your porn addiction and stop watching. 

In-Patient Treatment. An in-patient treatment center can help you remove the stressors of daily life while you work with counselors on healing and recovery.

Intensives. Intensives help you become steeped in the work of recovery for a short, intensive healing period. You can have 24/7 care and support to keep you on track.

Support Groups. Talking to people with similar experiences can be extremely validating, empowering, and healing. It helps diminish the shame often accompanying porn addiction, increasing self-esteem and a willingness to heal. Support groups can offer opportunities for an accountability partner to help encourage and empower you. 

Seeking treatment is an important step, but it won’t be easy. It’s important to know what to expect during treatment, so you can prepare for any negative emotions or past traumatic experiences that might come up.

Porn addiction requires a multifaceted approach to healing, said Ed Tilton, Regional Director of Integrative Life Network. He said it starts by being honest about how the addiction affects you and those you love. Then you have to commit to recovery.

“We lie to feed and justify our behavior,” he said. “The first thing you must do is get honest with yourself. Then you can start to see what kind of change is possible.”

Nate said it’s critical to seek community support during recovery. 

“Community provides a space for voices to be heard and experiences to be validated. It can be a space that nurtures, heals, and empowers. I truly believe in this mantra: ‘We do addiction in isolation, but heal in groups.’”

How Begin Again Institute Can Help

Healing from porn addiction is a learning experience. You must keep an open mind and be prepared to make lifestyle changes. It will take self-discipline to relearn behaviors and unlearn habits. But ultimately, it will be worth it, and your quality of life will improve.  

If porn addiction has consumed your life, damaged relationships, and made you unhappy with yourself, it’s time to change. At Begin Again Institute, we recognize the courage it takes to accept your addiction and seek help. Recovery is always possible, and we have the tools to help you achieve lasting results. 

Begin Again Institute is the oldest sex addiction treatment facility in the United States. We have a proven track record utilizing TINSA® (Trauma-Induced Sexual Addiction), a perspective for the treatment of sexual addiction that focuses on treating the root of addiction rather than the symptoms. 

Healing is possible for anyone willing to take the first step. Take back your life and experience the freedom of recovery. Contact us today for help that will improve your life.

Source: https://beginagaininstitute.com/blog/porn-addiction-what-is-it/

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HOW TO TALK TO YOUR PARTNER ABOUT WATCHING PORN

If you feel your partner slipping away from you physically or acting differently around you intimately, they might be cheating. But what if they weren’t going out and committing the act physically but rather viewing it? Whether it’s your partner’s first time watching porn or addiction has blossomed, it is crucial to understand how men become addicted and how it affects their life and yours. It may be time to talk to your partner about watching porn.

Why Do Men Watch Porn?

Living in a digital age where everything is readily available at your fingertips, it is no surprise that porn addiction and viewership have increased. Porn has even begun to trickle its way onto social media platforms. An estimated 91.5% of men consume pornography, and Christian men aren’t exempt.

But while most men watch pornography, it’s not safe, said Matt Wenger, Clinical Director at Boulder Recovery. He said it should be avoided at all costs, whether a person is Christian or not.

“Studies have repeatedly shown that porn is not safe for empathic and frontal lobe development, regardless of one’s moral view,” he said.

The consequence of chronic porn use is neurological rewiring that results in viewing intimacy as purely sexual behavior and vice versa, Matt said. 

“As a result, we lose the ability to be truly intimate,” he said. “We lose connection with ourselves and others. We lose connection with God as his image bearers.”

Matt said viewing pornography also tricks the brain into thinking that what a person wants out of porn is purely sexual. 

“When in reality, we are now going to porn for a form of (false) intimacy and hoping to get the fruits of it in fullness — peace, comfort, safety, worth, validation, affirmation, etc.,” he said. “But neither porn nor sex can provide these things. They are only found in authentic, vulnerable, and emotional relationships with God and others.” 

Understanding Why Porn is Difficult to Discuss

Sex and porn are taboo topics, and discussing them may be difficult for you and your partner. Your partner may feel caught off guard or embarrassed by their actions. They might even go as far as denying it ever happened. Regardless, it’s vital to understand why viewing porn is difficult to discuss.

Reasons viewing porn is difficult to discuss include:

Acts the person thought were secret are exposed 

Fear of being judged or abandoned

Acknowledging sinful behavior is challenging

Vulnerability requires trust

Preparing to Talk to Your Partner

Creating a safe space and using strategies like open discussions and active listening can help everyone involved in the conversation feel more at ease. Seek resources online that may help you prepare for the discussion or give you facts to support your case. Think about how it makes you feel and how you can express that thoroughly. 

Ways to prepare to talk to your partner about watching porn include:

Do Research. Understand how common porn viewership is, yet how bad it is for people. Also, understand precisely why porn goes against your beliefs.

Reflect on Your Feelings. Be clear about how your partner’s porn viewership makes you feel and what you want to express to them about those feelings.

Know Your Expectations. How do you expect your partner to respond to the conversation? What are your expectations of the conversation?

Identify Outcomes. What do you want as a result of the conversation? Do you want your husband to apologize? Do you want him to never watch porn again? How do you want the two of you to be able to resolve this issue?

Once you know what you expect from the conversation and feel prepared about what you need to communicate, it’s time to talk to your partner about watching porn.

Tips for communicating about porn:

Find the Right Time and Place. This conversation is important to your relationship. Don’t have it on the way to work or via telephone. Set aside time when you can talk face-to-face for as long as necessary.

Have a Calm Conversation. Yelling and accusations are unlikely to result in any positive outcome. Being prepared with what you want to say will help you remain calm, even if your partner initially denies watching porn.

Ask Open-Ended Questions. A conversation means both parties are involved. It’s not just one of you hurling accusations. Ask your partner questions and listen to the answers.

Understand that Agreement May Take Time. It’s possible that your partner doesn’t think what they did was wrong. It’s vital for them to understand how their action impacts you. Continue the conversation until you agree on next steps.

The most important thing is to be honest with your partner. Truth is the foundation of intimacy and vital to your continued relationship. So, if you’re the partner who viewed porn, admit it.

“If porn use has occurred, first tell your spouse and do your best to sit with them in their hurt and anger,” Matt said. “Then take accountability and do not blame them in any way for your choices.”

Repentance is key after viewing pornography, Matt said. 

“Repentance is the Biblical idea of not just expressing remorse but a turning away from something toward something else,” he said. “It isn’t enough to say sorry and to try to stop doing the thing. Addiction research bears this out as well. Purely trying to stop something is never enough.”

What Kind of Help is Available for Christians?

If you think your partner has a pornography addiction, it’s probably best for them to seek help. A porn addiction won’t go away on its own and is probably indicative of a larger mental health issue. And they likely can’t stop on their own. Matt said:

“Many people battling with habitual or compulsive porn use spend their energy on stopping themselves from using. With well-intentioned vigor and intensity, they create accountability systems, download blocking and monitoring software, and eliminate opportunities to act out. None of this is bad. It is just rarely successful on its own.”

Boulder Recovery Can Help

Boulder Recovery is dedicated to helping men recover from sex and pornography addictions through our 14-Day Christian Men’s Intensive. The program jump starts recovery in a faith-based environment. We also provide a Partner Support Program to help wives dealing with their husband’s addiction. We help them navigate their trauma, feelings of betrayal, anger, fear, and shame. Contact Boulder Recovery together and start the healing journey for you and your relationship.

Source: https://beginagaininstitute.com/christian/how-to-talk-to-your-partner-about-watching-porn/

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SEEKING TREATMENT FOR PORN ADDICTION: WHY AND HOW

Sex is seemingly everywhere you look in the United States. From advertising to music to movies, it’s difficult to ignore when you’re constantly bombarded by it. But on the flip side is the sometimes dark and seedy world of pornography. 

As prevalent but discussed less frequently, porn provides an artificial fix when you can’t get the real thing. But watching porn can have darker consequences than you might think.

If watching porn has taken time away from work, damaged your relationships, and affected your self-esteem, but you still can’t stop viewing it, you might have a porn addiction. It can quickly become problematic, but seeking treatment for porn addiction is possible. 

Is Porn Addiction Serious?

Pornography addiction isn’t something to take lightly. It’s a serious mental health issue. It can distort your perception of sex and affect your happiness. It’s important to identify the symptoms of porn addiction, reflect on your own experience, and determine if you should get help. 

Signs of porn addiction include:

Viewing porn more often than you want to 

Unsuccessfully trying to stop

Feeling guilty about viewing pornography

Craving increased or more explicit porn

Continuing to view porn even if it harms relationships

Having an increased tolerance for porn

Experiencing mood changes if you can’t view porn 

Lacking sexual intimacy with your partner

Denying the adverse effects of pornography

Neglecting sleep or basic self-care 

Feeling low self-esteem

Experiencing sexual dysfunction 

Lying about porn use

Porn can be a taboo topic, often accompanied by shame or guilt. Addiction can continue untreated for a long time because it’s challenging to be honest about your porn use. People don’t commonly discuss porn addiction, but the rates of those affected are climbing, estimated to be anywhere from about 4.5% to 10% of people. 

Why Seeking Treatment is Necessary 

Porn can easily suck you in because of the “triple-A” impact: accessibility, affordability, and anonymity. Despite being a private or intimate activity, almost anyone anywhere can access porn whenever they want. Its widespread availability makes it easy to access with one click. While some porn sites charge a subscription, many operate for free or low cost. With private browsers and a quick “erase history,” records of porn use are gone, making it easy to hide from others. 

If you’ve ever tried to stop watching porn, you know how impossible it can feel. Like any other addiction, you will experience cravings, a compulsive need to keep coming back, and withdrawal symptoms. It’s a vicious cycle that’s challenging to handle by yourself. That’s why seeking treatment is likely necessary for overcoming porn addiction. 

Benefits of seeking treatment for porn addiction include:

Discovering and Treating the Root Cause. Porn addiction often stems from unprocessed trauma. This trauma could include sexual or physical abuse, neglect, lack of nurturing in childhood, or a traumatic event in adulthood that distorts a person’s sense of sexuality. With help from a mental health counselor, you can uncover the addiction’s root cause and begin healing from your trauma.

Gaining a Support System. When entering a treatment program, you’ll meet other people with similar experiences who understand the challenges of porn addiction. You can build a support system of friends and mental health professionals to hold you accountable and empower you on your journey. 

Healing Your Relationships. Porn addiction doesn’t just affect you. It also affects loved ones who have suffered from the addiction. By taking the first step toward recovery, you’re showing a commitment to change, and you can begin to repair your relationships.

Learning Vital Skills to Deter Impulses. Relapse is always a threat. You can overcome the urge and resist temptations by practicing healthy habits and learning vital skills to deter impulses.

Removing Adverse Symptoms. Porn addiction can have debilitating effects on your life. Removing the adverse symptoms and harmful behaviors can improve your well-being. 

Overcoming Controlling Behavior. It can be frustrating, confusing, and exhausting to feel as if you have no control of your behavior or impulses. By taking hold of your addiction and starting the recovery process, you regain authority over yourself, your actions, and your happiness. 

Seeking Treatment for Porn Addiction 

Getting professional help for your porn addiction can help institute healthy coping mechanisms and increase your chances of a successful recovery. There are many types of treatment to help porn addiction. 

Porn addiction treatment options include:

Psychotherapy. With the help of a mental health counselor, you can work together to understand the past events that led to your addiction. Over time, you can recognize maladaptive behaviors, determine your unmet needs, and implement coping strategies.

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy. This treatment helps replace problematic behaviors through the principles of operant conditioning. This method makes an association between a behavior and a consequence with long-lasting effects. Utilizing this method, you can learn to manage your porn addiction and stop watching. 

In-Patient Treatment. An in-patient treatment center can help you remove the stressors of daily life while you work with counselors on healing and recovery.

Intensives. Intensives help you become steeped in the work of recovery for a short, intensive healing period.

Support Groups. Talking to people with similar experiences can be extremely validating, empowering, and healing. It can diminish the shame often accompanying porn addiction, increasing self-esteem and a willingness to heal. Support groups can offer opportunities for an accountability partner to help keep you on track to your goals and offer encouragement. 

Each person’s situation is different, so it’s best to do your research, self-reflect, and determine which treatment option is best for you.

When seeking treatment for any type of sex addiction, people should look for a treatment center that is trauma-focused, said Sako Barbarian, Primary Therapist at Begin Again Institute. This need is because trauma is the root of most addictions, he said.

Sako also said an intensive, like the 14-Day Intensive at Begin Again Institute, can help jump-start recovery.

“Treatment provides new and more effective tools for combating urges to act out, deep healing through intensive trauma work, and an incredible running start into a lifetime of recovery,” he said. “Effective addiction treatment encounters the brain, body, and emotions. Mere education is not enough.”

The Outcome of Seeking Treatment for Porn Addiction

Seeking treatment is an important step, but it won’t be easy. It’s important to know what to expect during treatment, so you can prepare for any negative emotions or past traumatic experiences that might come up. 

Healing from porn addiction is a learning experience. You’ll need to keep an open mind and be prepared to make lifestyle changes. It will take self-discipline to relearn behaviors and unlearn habits. But ultimately, it will be worth it, and your quality of life will improve.  

It’s necessary to understand that there isn’t a cure for addiction. Porn addiction may be a lifelong struggle that takes work to combat. Transitioning from a debilitating habit to a porn-free life requires time and patience. The skills you learn during treatment will support you. Finding healthy coping mechanisms, such as hobbies, activities you enjoy, practicing mindfulness, and self-care is helpful. Relapse is an unfortunate reality for many, but you can always start again if you experience setbacks. 

You Have Control of Your Future

Recovering from porn addiction isn’t easy. It takes time, discipline, and determination. By seeking treatment, joining a support group, and setting clear goals, you can find healing and regain control of your life. 

At Begin Again Institute, we recognize the courage it takes to start your recovery journey. Our treatment programs offer 24/7 support to keep you on track with your goals and help you heal. Contact us today to learn about the treatment options we offer that can help you on the road to recovery. 

Source: https://beginagaininstitute.com/blog/seeking-treatment-for-porn-addiction/

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WHAT IS SEX ADDICTION FOR CHRISTIANS?

The Bible doesn’t directly address sex addiction for Christians. It doesn’t specifically say anything about the addiction by name. But the Bible says God wants people to be happy and fulfilled in their relationships with others (1 Peter 1:7). It also says people should live in a way that doesn’t bring harm to themselves or others (Romans 14:19). Both passages suggest that sex addiction is wrong for Christians and something they should seek to heal and recover from. 

How Sex Addiction Starts

Sex addiction is the compulsive need to have sex or sexual pleasure at any cost, at any time, regardless of consequences. It includes behaviors like infidelity and engaging in high-risk sexual behaviors. People often recognize they have a sex addiction when they attempt to stop these behaviors but can’t.

“Sex addiction comes from a need to regulate an unregulated nervous system, which probably results from a traumatic experience when they were young,” said Matt Wenger, Clinical Director at Boulder Recovery.

Sex addiction can start with unresolved trauma, including sexual trauma or childhood sexual abuse. The person affected by this trauma may use sex to deal with the pain from their past.

If a person does not receive treatment for their trauma, they may develop an intimacy disorder or other mental health issues. These issues can make it difficult for them to form healthy relationships with others.

Boulder Recovery attempts to help men understand the root cause of their sex addiction so they can begin to heal.

“We help people understand why they act the way they act — where that behavior originates. It helps them get in touch with the wounds and the trauma that precipitated the addiction. We identify and treat core traumatic wounds that are most closely tied to their behaviors,” Matt said

Overcoming Sex Addiction for Christians

It can be difficult to admit that you might have a problem with sex. It may be even more challenging if you’re a Christian because of misconceptions surrounding addiction. For example, Christians may pray for their addictions to just end when they need help from a mental health professional to heal.

Sex addiction is a real disorder, and it’s not something to be overcome by just saying “no” or praying harder. Even though sex addiction affects Christians and people of other faiths and beliefs, there is hope for recovery if you’re committed to getting better.

“The outcomes depend on what you want when you come in,” Matt said of treatment. “You’re going to get out of it exactly what you want at your core to get out of it. If you want to go deep and discover new places in yourself, who you are, and your future… that’s what you’ll get out of it.” 

Treatment for sex addiction for Christians helps men restore their faith, uncover the root cause of their addiction, heal from that trauma, and change their behaviors.

“We identify the root traumas and teach tools and skills that you can couple with that to make better decisions instead of just looking at symptoms,” Matt stated. “You have a neurological problem; you don’t have a character flaw. Your brain is sick. This helps us get closer to the why.”

Steps on Your Path to Recovery

Recovering from sex addiction is challenging. It requires help, support, and hard work. It also requires you to admit you have a problem and commit to changing.

Steps to addiction recovery include:

Seeking Treatment. Sex addiction is a symptom of a deeper issue and is unlikely to go away on it’s own. It’s important to address the underlying cause with help from a mental health professional. 

Finding a Support System. One of the most important things you can do as you overcome sex addiction is to find a support system. This support can be friends or family members, your church community, or a support group. Having people to talk to about your addiction will help you keep track of your progress and ensure you’re not giving in to temptation.

Setting Goals to Maintain Sobriety. Set realistic goals. Select your priorities and aim to dedicate more time to them. Use your support system to hold you accountable.

Establishing Clear Boundaries. Decide what your boundaries will be and how you will enforce them. Review your values and goals as a Christian, and list things that are off-limits or essential for your recovery.

Is Sex Addiction a Reason for Christians to Divorce?

Whether sex addiction results in divorce is an issue for the couple to decide together. Some marriages challenged by addiction end in divorce. Others don’t.

For a partner, sex addiction can lead to betrayal trauma. This trauma is when a person significantly violates another’s trust or well-being. As the person heals from sex addiction, their partner has to be willing to focus on healing from betrayal.

Healing from betrayal trauma requires:

Acknowledging the Betrayal. Both partners must recognize that the issue exists and how it’s affecting them individually and within their relationship.

Prioritizing Yourself. While each partner is healing, they must prioritize their recovery. Neither partner can give fully to the other without healing first.

Practicing Forgiveness. A marriage can’t heal after a sex addiction without forgiveness. A partner has to be able to forgive their spouse for the marriage to have a future.

Women should put their healing first before reconciling or fixing their marriages, Matt said. 

“They have to give themselves time to heal from the shock of their partner’s infidelity,” Matt said. “We want to see marriages healed, but this can happen only when the addict takes concrete steps toward sobriety and betrayed partners begin their journey of healing.” 

Seeking Help at Boulder Recovery

Sex addiction can shatter lives and relationships. It challenges Christians’ faith in God and belief in themselves as good, faithful people. 

Boulder Recovery’s mission is simple: to help people recover from their addictions and live healthier lives. Our therapists know how important it is for each person to find their path toward recovery. 

Contact us to learn more and start restoring your faith, life, and relationships.

Source: https://beginagaininstitute.com/christian/what-is-sex-addiction-for-christians/

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15 SIGNS OF SEX ADDICTION

Things aren’t always what they seem. How a person presents themselves isn’t necessarily the truth about who they are or what is going on in their life. There are signs to look for – things to notice – which will help determine if what you observe indicates someone may be living with an addiction to sex.

Sex addiction is an addiction just like alcoholism or drug addiction. The problem with sex addiction is that many people don’t understand it or even believe it exists. The signs of sex addiction may reveal that someone has an issue.

What is a Sex Addiction?

Compulsive sexual behavior, hypersexuality, and hypersexuality disorder are other names for sex addiction. It’s an obsessive concern with irrational sexual fantasies, urges, or actions. People with sex addiction experience intense emotional anguish, which can negatively impact their relationships, jobs, and mental and physical health.

So, what causes sex addiction? Addiction originates from deep painful experiences. Although those traumatic events can occur at any time, they frequently do so early in life. These events are characterized by the fact that the person could not process them and sought a coping method – which happened to be sexual behavior. They repeated that behavior to feel better without realizing that doing so caused an addiction. Now they can’t stop.

Determining whether someone has a sex addiction requires recognizing its various signs.

The 15 Signs of Sexual Addiction 

T.C. Ryan, author of Ashamed No More: A Pastor’s Journey Through Sex Addiction and Pastoral Consultant at Boulder Recovery, said, Dr. Patrick Carnes first researched and published the signs of sex addiction in 1991. At that time, there were 10. In the years since mental health experts identified more, T.C. said.

Recognizing the signs of sex addiction can help you know if it’s time to discuss it with someone you love or seek treatment.

1. Using Sex to Cope 

People can use sex to deal with adverse emotions like stress or anxiety that result from trauma. People may use sex to destress and relieve other adverse emotions from difficult situations that left unresolved trauma in their adult lives. If sex is a form of coping instead of an expression of intimacy between two people, it could result in sex addiction.

2. Feeling a Need to Limit Behavior 

One of the signs of sex addiction is feeling a need to limit behavior. The individual knows their sexual behavior is out of control, but they continue to engage in it anyway.

People addicted to sex may feel like they can’t stop their behavior even though they know it’s hurting them. They may feel ashamed or guilty about their actions, but this doesn’t stop them from attempting to relieve these feelings.

3. Inability to Control Impulses

People with sex addiction struggle to control their sexual thoughts, fantasies, and urges. They may engage in sexual behavior they later regret and feel ashamed of, but they can’t stop acting out. People with sex addiction may also spend a lot of time thinking about sex and planning how to act out their urges.

4. Experiencing Severe Consequences 

People with compulsive sexual behavior tend to lose control of their behavior and engage in risky sexual activity with serious consequences. They may have sex with many partners or pay for sex from sex workers. They may lose their jobs or families as a result of their behaviors. Some people with sex addiction may struggle with other impulse control issues, such as substance use.

5. Can’t Stop Carrying Out Behavior

The inability to stop carrying out certain behaviors is one of the main characteristics of sex addiction. If you are unable to control your sexual thoughts or desires, this may be an indication that you have an issue with sex addiction. An addition is unlikely to disappear or stop on its own, no matter how much you try.

6. Engaging in Risky Acts

Sex addicts tend to engage in risky behaviors such as unprotected sex or having multiple partners. They may also experience stress and anxiety when they feel like they can’t get their needs met. Being unable to meet these needs leads many people into addictive behavior patterns for emotional relief.

7. Excusing Sexual Habits

Many people with sex addiction are aware of their problem but deny it because they fear losing loved ones, being ostracized, or losing their job. They may justify their behavior by blaming others for their actions. They might also try to convince you their behavior is normal and they just have a higher sex drive than others. 

8. Tolerance and Escalation

A person who is tolerant of a substance requires increasing amounts of it to achieve the desired effect. As a person engages in sexually addictive behavior, they will often escalate the type of activity they pursue to gain arousal or relief from stress or tension. Escalation is common among those who live with addiction. Addictions escalate. That’s what they do.

9. Relational Distress

Sex addiction creates an emotional disconnect. People may have difficulty maintaining long-term relationships or staying in touch with friends and family. In some cases, they may even lose interest in sex with their spouse because the excitement of a new relationship is more appealing to them. 

They often try to hide their activities from others and may feel shame about their sexual behavior. They also may feel guilt or shame about their actions’ effects on others, such as emotional pain or financial loss.

10. Mood Swings and Outbursts

Mood swings and outbursts are other signs of sex addiction. When a person acts out sexually, they tend to make irrational decisions and act impulsively. This behavior can cause mood swings and outbursts due to the guilt, shame, or frustration with their own behaviors.

11. Obsessive Thinking

Sex addiction is a progressive disorder. The more you engage in the behavior, the more likely you will experience negative consequences, and the stronger your compulsion to continue will become. Eventually, you may spend several hours daily engaged in sexual fantasies, thinking about sex, or planning for future sexual encounters with partners, sex workers, or virtual partners. There never seems to be enough sex, and it becomes all-consuming.

12. Excessive Time Spent Acting Out 

Addiction consumes a person’s time. Someone may spend most of their time thinking about sex, planning sexual encounters, or acting out. They may visit sex workers or engage in anonymous sex, have multiple affairs, visit strip clubs or adult bookstores frequently, or spend hours each week viewing pornography online. As the need for sex increases, more time must be spent feeding the addiction.

13. Neglecting Responsibilities 

Neglecting responsibilities due to sex addiction is one of the most common signs of sex addiction. Neglecting responsibilities can include work, family, friends, or other important commitments.

This sign is so common because someone with a sex addiction feels they need to have sex to function normally. They may have trouble controlling their sexual urges and use sex to manage stress or anger, making it difficult to concentrate on anything other than their next sexual encounter.

14. Loss or Decline of Sexual Functioning

It’s not uncommon for someone to be unable to have sex with their partner or perform sexual acts if they have a sex addiction. They may avoid sex completely or be unable to perform sexually.

15. Withdrawal

When you are addicted to something, it becomes your main priority in life, and if you suddenly don’t have it anymore, you will experience withdrawal. 

When you become addicted to sex, your brain creates withdrawal symptoms such as depression, self-loathing, anxiety, and other emotional problems. This is why people have difficulty stopping even though they know their behavior is causing pain. 

The Connection Between Sex Addiction and Faith 

For men of faith, sex addiction is that much more challenging because of the guilt and shame that comes with it. Men of faith tend to think they need to keep addiction a secret, but you can’t keep secrets and heal. If anything, the secrecy challenges your faith and moves you further from God.

“Faith doesn’t automatically resolve the causes of your struggle. And your recovery isn’t guaranteed by faith, either,” T.C. said. “Our Creator made us for relationships, for connection. Addiction is a sure indicator that there was damage to our capacity for healthy connection.” 

It’s vital, then, for Christian men to understand addiction and how it’s affecting them and their loved ones. Then they must commit to recovery. 

Help at Boulder Recovery

If you’re worried that you or someone you love is showing signs of sex addiction, the best thing to do is to talk to someone. That might be a friend, a family member, or a professional counselor.

Boulder Recovery is here to offer help. We’re a Christ-centered, Scripture-based, and clinically innovative men’s program specializing in treating intimacy disorders.

With our 14-Day Men’s Intensive, you’ll be able to address the trauma that can cause various intimacy disorders by learning techniques to help heal trauma and attachment issues.

You should have no fear or shame in reaching out for help. Get in touch with Boulder Recovery to begin your road to healthy relationships. Source: https://beginagaininstitute.com/christian/signs-of-sex-addiction/

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EFFECTIVE METHODS OF PORN ADDICTION TREATMENT

Porn addiction doesn’t happen overnight. You probably won’t get addicted the first time you watch porn. But if it becomes an activity that you can’t control or quit, it may be time to seek help. 

Many people experiencing porn addiction feel shame surrounding their addiction and fear about opening up. But left untreated, porn addiction can consume your life and damage your relationships, finances, and career. There are effective methods of porn addiction treatment that can pinpoint the root of the addiction and help you heal. 

Understanding Porn Addiction

Porn addiction is when a person becomes emotionally dependent on porn to the point that viewing becomes compulsive and uncontrollable, affecting their everyday life. How do you know when you should consider seeking help? If you want to stop and have repeatedly tried but have been unsuccessful, you may be experiencing porn addiction.

Symptoms of porn addiction also include:

Increased porn viewing

Feeling guilty about watching

No longer enjoying sex

Spending a lot of time viewing pornography

Constant craving for more

Increased tolerance for more extreme or violent porn

Neglecting responsibilities or sleep to view more

Feeling like you need a porn “fix”

Low self-esteem

Experiencing sexual dysfunction

So, what causes someone to become addicted to porn? Unresolved trauma often results in addiction. Leading sex addiction expert, Dr. Patrick Carnes, found that “97% of people with sex addiction suffered emotional abuse in childhood or adolescence, while 81% suffered sexual abuse.”

People who have experienced one or more Adverse Childhood Experiences are more likely to have addictions later in life. When a child experiences trauma, it shrinks the part of the brain responsible for processing emotion and memory. Trauma also affects other parts of the brain, like those associated with decision-making, self-regulation, and fear processing. 

Trauma in childhood doesn’t go away if left unprocessed. It’s not unusual for adults to experience symptoms of childhood trauma. 

Unprocessed trauma that happens in adulthood also can result in addiction. 

Regardless of when the trauma occurs, an individual may use pornography to deal with emotional distress. When porn makes them feel better, their brain remembers that response and wants to repeat the activity, which eventually results in addiction and an inability to stop. 

Porn addiction is unlikely to disappear without treatment. You need help uncovering and healing from the root cause of the addiction. Then you can address the behavior.

Ed Tilton, Regional Director of Integrative Life Network, said treatment helps re-establish healthy coping skills and true intimacy.

“This is best done by a professional who can see patterns, traumas, and behaviors for what they are,” he said.

Risks of Untreated Porn Addiction 

If left untreated, porn addiction can drastically affect your everyday life and physical and mental well-being. 

Effects of untreated porn addiction include those on:

Lifestyle. When porn is your constant habit, it can replace responsibilities at work or day-to-day tasks. 

Behavior. Because people often feel ashamed of porn addiction, they may lash out or become secretive around others, even those trying to help.

Physical Well-Being. Your brain changes while addicted to porn. The brain’s reward system is hijacked, and parts of your brain can shrink. Porn addiction can also cause sexual dysfunction or the inability to perform sexually with a partner. 

Emotions. Porn addiction often causes shame, guilt, and low self-esteem, which can lead to depression and anxiety.

Relationships. People experiencing porn addiction may have unrealistic expectations of beauty or sexual performance and may pressure their partner to do risky sexual acts. They might also seek sexual fulfillment outside their relationship. Porn addiction can also cause secrecy, shame, and sexual frustration in relationships.

Society. Escalation is typical in addiction. To get the next fix, some people may resort to illegal or exploitative measures, which impact those in contact with them. 

Treatment Methods for Porn Addiction

Taking control of your porn addiction can feel overwhelming, but there are methods you can employ on your own and with professional help to find healing.

Trauma-focused treatments, including brainspotting and psychodrama, are helpful for addiction, Ed said. He said:

“A good treatment is anything that helps the client deal with the emotional connection between past emotional wounds and their desire to continue in self-destructive behaviors.”

An intensive like the ones offered at Begin Again Institute helps people get a jump start in the trauma-focused work that results in recovery, Ed said.

Other recovery methods include:

Attending talk therapy or couples counseling

Identifying your triggers, or what makes you want to view porn, and avoiding them

Being aware of relapse signs and having a plan of action

Monitoring any porn withdrawal symptoms and having a plan to cope with them when they happen 

Finding a support group

What Constitutes Effective Treatment?

Many different approaches to porn addiction treatment exist, which means you must learn about them and determine what’s right for you.

Effective treatment consists of:

Identifying Improvement. Recognize the small achievements that move you closer to your goals. Journaling about your progress can help you identify celebratory milestones.

Reaching Goals. Know what you want to achieve and set out to achieve it. No matter how long the road is, you can find success.

Utilizing Learned Skills. Practicing healthy skills turns into healthy habits. Utilize effective techniques to redirect your time and attention away from porn.

Preventing Relapse. Recognize your shortcomings and work on them. Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you feel yourself slipping.

Coping with Relapse. Learn from your past mistakes and start again. There is always an opportunity to find healing.

Take the First Step Toward Recovery

If porn addiction has consumed your life, damaged relationships, and made you unhappy with yourself, it’s time to change. At Begin Again Institute, we employ effective methods of porn addiction treatment that have helped hundreds of men turn their lives around and achieve lasting recovery. 

Healing is available for anyone willing to take the first step. You don’t have to do it alone. With trained mental health counselors who recognize the root of addiction, you’ll have the support you need to start your journey to recovery. Contact us today to find authentic healing. 

Source: https://beginagaininstitute.com/blog/porn-addiction-treatment-methods/