commandercoriandersalamander

[commandercoriandersalamander]

[commandercoriandersalamander]

coming up with an au were a dead character lives but shaking my head while i do it so everyone watching knows i support the role their death played in the narrative and consider it a legitimate writing choice

[commandercoriandersalamander]

What the hell she drew a man

[commandercoriandersalamander]

the dumbest person alive has come to warn you that fruit has sugar in it

[commandercoriandersalamander]

i just don't think that people should have to disclose their deepest and most life-ruining traumas as a requirement to write about sensitive topics

[commandercoriandersalamander]

Fixed it.

[commandercoriandersalamander]

god in hell, before chatgpt people used to have some class. when we needed info we’d ask narnia blogs

[commandercoriandersalamander]

im stacking extension cords on each other like theyre tinker toys. constructing a tower of babel in the name of the god of electricity. there'll be at least 100 outlets when ive hooked these boys up nice and good. ill never run out again

[commandercoriandersalamander]

Hey, cool post about how sad you are about that nightmare bill getting passed! It's weird because I remember you're the same person who could not stop bitching right before the election that could have prevented all this about how much democrats suck and are the same as republicans and how utterly painful it was for you to consider voting for Harris and those words and vibes influenced who knows how many other people to not vote or not vote democrat in a ridiculously close election. You could have maybe just kept those propaganda-laced trump-serving opinions to yourself during those pivotal months but I guess it was worth it to feel rad and critical and not cringe. Anyway, sorry you're so disappointed with what you helped to do!

[commandercoriandersalamander]

#accurate

The Good Place – 2.04: Existential Crisis

[commandercoriandersalamander]

I see this headline:

As a former cakewrecks lover, I figured sure, I’ll bite. Let’s see this cake. Literally nothing could have prepared me for this cake. 

They paid $49 for this “frog-themed” cake and honestly no amount of money in the world could be put on this masterpiece:

Keep reading

[commandercoriandersalamander]

completely sober in the club looking at images of dragons on my phone

[commandercoriandersalamander]

I think we should have exclusively gender neutral bathrooms so that we can all have an equal chance of bullying each other into washing hands

[commandercoriandersalamander]

Tragic. Tumblr user made a good point but was unnecessarily condescending about it. Will not be reblogging

[commandercoriandersalamander]

What the hell she drew a man

[commandercoriandersalamander]

i actually get a bit annoyed with people who get a bit annoyed when people say “sorry” in response to their bad news. “why are you apologizing you didn’t do anything :/” like okay well a) you don’t know that and actually yes i am the secret architect of all your woes and have been this whole time, way to refuse to acknowledge a woman (gender neutral)’s accomplishments. and b) we’re both fluent english speakers so you know perfectly well that “sorry” isn’t always an apology and is very commonly used as an expression of general regret or sympathy. not in this case, because i have been your secret nemesis for years, meticulously plotting your every misery, but, like, in general

[commandercoriandersalamander]

i think people w acid reflux should be able to store it up so they can unleash it all at once in a devastating corrosive spit attack