compassionthreads

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I feel like most of the worst asks on this site come from people who don't have much experience relating with people in person (which is fine) and rely on learning how relationships should work in theory or via helpful posts about consent and respect etc (which is also fine), but then have grown overly confident with how they think human relationships ought to work and think something suspicious is happening when what someone's experiences don't match up

Hence why "I forced my boyfriend to watch Spy Kids 2" reads less to them like a joke and more about violating consent or something. Because they're unfamiliar with the dynamic of laughing and telling someone something corny is good while they theatrically eyeroll, they end up focusing on the word "forced" instead

Or like, how getting inundated with largely decontextualized posts about fetishization and whatnot leads people to ask questions like "Can lesbians watch movies about gay men" because they don't have the actual experience of talking about movies with gay men who will overwhelmingly be like "Of course? What are you talking about"

And I think it's easier to empathize with this (as long as they're not trying to tell you you've done something wrong) but it is kind of like. An unfortunate online phenomenon. Idk what the solution here is

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i never want to contribute to toxic positivity so i want to acknowledge that sometimes things just suck and there isn’t a bright side. the best thing you can do in those times is take care of yourself as much as possible. maybe that means just brushing your teeth, drinking some water or calling up a friend. you don’t always have to be grateful for where you are in life. sometimes you have to get through some hard shit first, but i know that you’re capable of doing it.

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Setting boundaries can be uncomfortable. But it’s worth it.

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remember to:

take any medications you may need

eat if you’ve forgotten to or have been putting it off

take a good shower if you haven’t yet

take a break if you’ve been overworking yourself

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you deserve peace.

walk away from people or things that prevent you from attaining it. ♡

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be wrong and grow and learn from it. don't avoid wrongness

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it’s not too late to start recovery.

relapsing is normal when you are on the road of recovery.

you’ll mess up. 

you’ll fail.

but in the end, it’s all about getting up again. 

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It sounds ironic, but the moment you stop filtering everything you say and do and stay true to yourself instead of trying to fit in and make people like you, you'll see such a shift in your social life. On the one hand you'll see who you clash with, and on the other hand you'll see that people are more likely to approach you because they see how genuine you are, which makes it easier for them to know if they want to be friends with you (or not). The scariest part of being who you are is finding out who won't like you for it, but the best part is finding genuine friendships with people who like you for you, and that's so worth it.

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let’s normalize not making excuses for people and only allowing healthy genuine connections into our lives.

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if i can paint the sky

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