complicated-anon

[complicated-anon]

A friendship problem (part 4)

Something happened at the uni. A friend of my suffered from a sexual abuse from one of my personal faves teachers and I was a little but shocked as I was trying to suopport her but also worried about my grades bc soe stuff that maybe I’ll write on other post.

I needed someone to talk about it but as the time passed it started to feel weird to send a message to mi ibf. And as I said before, I always have to be the one to say sorry and why? I didn’t do anything wrong, did I? :’(

So I didn’t sent her anything neither she. And I decided that I don’t have to be the one to take the first step this time cause if she was in a bad mood it wasn’t my problem. I NEVER TREATED HER LIKE THIS. EVEN THO I COULD’VE BEEN IN A BAD MOOD I WOULD ALWAYS BE NICE TO HER FFS.

I FEEL I DON’T FUCKING DESERVE THIS. And now she’s posting indirects about me, I’m 100% sure. But I didn’t opened her ig stories (I see them with an app I have to download stories hehe) or whatsapps’ stories and she also ignored mines (I didn’t posted any indirect to her btw).

And she know that her tweets will appear into my timeline and she’s making me seem like I’m a fake person.

She posted “what kind of person shows you that he loves you and then lets you go as if nothing?” like bitch wtf EVERY WORD I SAY TO YOU WAS COMPLETELY HONEST.

But thank god I still have dignity, even tho those tweets actually hurted me. I wrote my own and decided to delete it because I honestly don’t wanna do the same to her. And decided to write here instead as she will never read this probably and rn I’m crying beacuse I love her so much and she was the friend I needed and out of this stupid stuff she’s so nice and I fucking miss her but all my life I let people manipulate and treated me the wrong way and now I need to do something bc I’ve had enough tbh. We used to have good communication and we promised to fix our problems when we had them but this one is a fucking stupid one! And it makes it seem like our friendship is actually so fragile :’( I never thought she would have this ego, well at least not with me. She used to send me ss when something happened with her friends or family so I know that she did the same with me bc some of her tweets. I’m not a fake person, when I love I give all of me and silly me to think other people would do the same for me.

I hope soon we fix this. I honestly love her so so much.

ps. Sorry for grammatic mistakes or my narrrative, I know it sucks haha. Also I wrote in english bc I need to practice as I speak spanish. If anyone actually read this thanks for your time.

-M xx

[complicated-anon]

A friendship problem (part 3)

So I didn’t said anything more because I used to keep those things to myself cause I don’t like to argue knowing she won’t understand because she’s in a “changing mood”.

Btw the band I love announced dates and I was so excited and my ibf was happy for me even tho the band didn’t announced any date to her country (we were trying some moths ago to ask for them to come back but things got complicated and for their schedule they couldn’t). We used to be so lovely to each other, like we’re kinda sisters. Two weeks later the band announced m&g and I had the amazing chance to bought mine and my friend seemed to be happy for me again but idk this time felt different, I think that I feel like she wasn’t interested in the band anymore bc they never came back to her country and she focused on other artist (she went to see her other fave band and I was so happy for her honestly ‘cause I knew how much effot she put in it). So when I told her I will meet them I didn’t feel she was genuinely happy for me but I was like whatever.

Two day ago I showed her two options for my m&g and she told me which pose she liked more and then she was like “at the real moment you will forget about that and your photo will be like mine” then I told her “well, it won’t, I will try to get my photo as I would like”  Idk if she was in a bad mood for something but she changed the topic and sent me a ss from a friend of hers talking about some artists music (a new single to be specific) and saying it was shit and I was like “okaaay”.

We both like that artist so I couldn’t understand where that came from and I told her I actually liked his 2 previous songs and she was like “but he’s so baaad” and I went to listen the new single and I liked it, so while she was saying what didn’t liked her about the song and I was telling her that I liked it and I couldn’t find the part where she said his tone ruined the song so I still joked and said “well, then I need to go for a check at my ears with the doctor” and “it seems then that I like bad music” and at that moment I received a tweet from a photographer I admire and he works with the band, so I sent her a ss from it and she COMPLETELY ignored me and told me “well, stay with your ___ (name of the artist)” and sent me that emoji with rolled eyes and I was like ¿:D? I didn’t get what was going on, so I told her that I was joking and her the same emoji plus the laughing one to make her see that I was not serious as she also have told me that we all like different thing which I totally understands. Well I ended up saying “fine” and she sent me “:)”. I didn’t opened that last message as I was kinda upset and I had to get ready for uni. The day kept going on and I was so happy for that tweet and I shared it with my friends from the gc and they were happy bc they love the photographer too and also some people congratulated me.

I’m not saying my ibf should’ve make me a party but I never ignored her and knowing how much some things matter to her I feel kinda disappointedand sad but I was like well, I’ll send her a messages when I get out of the uni.

[complicated-anon]

A friendship problem (part 2)

So I was having a fake discussion on tweets with my new friends and we all were laughing so hard and enjoying the moment, then a tweet from my ibf appeared and I was like ¿:D?

-We used to have fake fights too -

But for some reason I didn’t knew if she was joking or it was real, so I tweeted joking and she reponded like more serious (? and I decided to send her a message which she didn’t even read so I sent her more and more and SHE DIDN’T READ THEM. I was so scared, I thought she was a mad at me for some reason, and she was still tweeting and I told her to read the messages so at the end I suffered a anxious attack.

She told me on the messages that she was “joking” with the tweets and I read all her next messages with fucking tears rolling down my face. We “fixed” the misunderstood and that’s it.

And this is the thing, we used to had fake fights before with memes and for some reasons she always got mad and I’ve had to tell sorry always, like ummm we were just joking, the fight wasn’t even serious(? but well I wanted to keep things fine.

She used to post some horoscope stuff and she also used to post indirects to people and I never gave them importance, she always said how annoying she is and like “yeah bitch” or sometimes like “thanks to everyone who tolerate me” and things like that & I used to think “yeah, we’re all complicated at our own way :)”.

Something happened some days ago: I told her I realized that she didn’t seem to love her fave from the band anymore (she was like so in love with him when I met her and we always talked about him) and she accepted it and told me “I grew up, I don’t love him anymore but I still appreciate him and the others” and I was like “yeah, it’s a life thing :)” but then she ASSUMED I was going to go through the same and in that moment I thought “you don’t know me then as well as you think you do”. I’m the kind of person that if decides to love you no matter will be there for you and support you, I mean, I’ve been a jonatic for years even tho they’re separated, even now I still love and support them becuase that’s how I AM.

[complicated-anon]

A friendship problem (part 1)

Hello, this is my first post, I’ve not planned it I’ll just write what I have on my mind :)

Okay, so I have an ibf. She’s older than me but we fitted so well, like for example she and me used to think the same things about some topics and stuff. We found each other by a fb group and bc we liked the same band. 

Well we’ve been friends for more than a year now, she helped me a lot to make some of my dreams came true and I helped her with everything I could, like listening to her, tweets to some people she loved, giving her songs, photos of people we both loved, advices no matter the hour and friendship stuff. We used to talk everyday. 

Everything was going fine then for some reasons we stopped talking like before, we still sent messages to each other everyday but not like we kept talking all day, btw our friendship wasn’t affected at all by that.

She used to told me about her problems and I ALWAYS was there for her, sometimes I used to told her mine but I’m a shy person so sometimes I feel like telling my problems to someone is like I’m bothering them so I keep them to myself other times, I used to told her some of my secrets and she did it too. 

She’ve met our fave band before I met her and she told me her complete experience, it was amazing to me and the way she narrated it was so beautiful, she had a fave from that band and I have mine (I love each member btw hehe) and we shipped each other and blah blah. The thing is these past months she was not the same person like when I met her, she was changing in a good way and I was so happy for her. I NEVER would like to “see” her sad, so I did my friend job and all. We both have suffered depression and stuff. So it was very important for me to help her no matter what. 

My dream was to meet the band and being at their concert as they’ve never been in my country. Well in september I decided it was enough, I have a fan acc for them and the’ve have noticed me once but a long time ago,  I decided to reunite some people that are part of the fandom but from my country and make a gruop chat on twitter, well it worked we organized a hashtag and made it trend, then we received some messages from their manager, and stuff strted to happen so fast! We were so happy. I used to share all of this with my ibf and she seemed to be happy for me as I was for her achievements before, but I felt something, like maybe she was jealous of my new friends?