YOUR PAST WILL CONTINUE TO SLIP THROUGH YOUR FINGERS
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I’m gonna tell you a secret. my favourite mirror world counterpart for a character is Glenn’s. he has the most seemingly drastic personality shift and yet he’s also the counterpart who changes the least. also I like Robin Hood style characters
#I should draw him at some point#he really is just who Glenn could have been without ice powers… makes me sick
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oh goddamn it that stupid fucking ghost is back in my brain again
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oh goddamn it that stupid fucking ghost is back in my brain again
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just got a cursed cursed idea for the mirror world variants of Glenn and Elias
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Gabriel gravitates towards smoke, specifically cigarette smoke. it’s comforting to him even if he hates the smell and how hard it is to breathe . he could never smoke himself though. it has to be someone else
#needed to get this thought out#I also need to draw a thing but#he gravitates towards smokes and trains and flower fields even though he finds so little joy in them for himself#they remind him of a friend that he begs is alright even if he can no longer know them#that tie has been cut and severed by neither of their wills and Gabriel clings to the reminders and he worries#but he knows deep down they’ll be fine#ohhh Gabriel and Atlas. Save me Gabriel and Atlas.
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kira is really lucky that water has no effect on her because if crownmarine (elder goddess of the seas, mother to Delilah) had heard about what she did not only to her sacred kingdom but to her DAUGHTER?? Kira wouldn’t have made it nearly as long as she did
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”Listen, in my experience, I’ve found th-“
“I have significantly more experience than you, Your Majesty.”
“Don’t c-… what do you mean by that.”
“…You know I’m like. Hundreds of years old, do you not? Aeravis are famously immortal creatures.”
(Bryant, who had to get at least a few drinks in to even stand to have this conversation without killing Brian) “wgat”
the idea of Brian and Bryant interacting is so funny to me because Bryant would kind of just assume he’s older than Brian, or at the very least a little more experienced because of how badly Brian handles things, and the moment Brian realised that he would drop the “I’m several centuries old.” bombshell. He’s lived a very long while he’s just been incredibly stressed and fighting internalised homophobia and an monumentally shitty partner the entire time.
#Bryant is like 85% sober but he needed to not want to murder Brian on sight to be able to be here okay#otherwise BITE KILL MAIM BITE KILL MAIM
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the idea of Brian and Bryant interacting is so funny to me because Bryant would kind of just assume he’s older than Brian, or at the very least a little more experienced because of how badly Brian handles things, and the moment Brian realised that he would drop the “I’m several centuries old.” bombshell. He’s lived a very long while he’s just been incredibly stressed and fighting internalised homophobia and an monumentally shitty partner the entire time.
#it’s also really funny because Bryant would despise him for placing Gabriel in a human orphanage#and far away from any understanding of the aeravis thing#but this comedy came first#pointless chirping
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oh chat I’m getting ideas. ideas and symbolisms . oh dear god. Guys i remembered magpies
live footage of me seconds away from redesigning Gabriel again
#everyday I get a little closer to not letting Gabriel have his wings anymore#it wouldn’t work plot wise atm . well actually it could. hm#but the SYMBOLISM . I NEED TO YELL ABOUT IT#it works so well with Brian. But oof#I’d need to rework some plot stuff but I could do it…. and it would make him easier to draw
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After stepping into this room, you can no longer go back to what or where you once were, would you still like to continue?
god this is such a ruined old man. I hope he isn’t about to get himself killed and be down a wing and an eye
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Zeus’ TV head could just as easily be a muzzle and the same result would take place. is this ocpost anything
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clockwork future somehow being the most competent and mentally stable aspect of clockwork is really fucking funny to me. the other two are losing to a BIRD MAN
#tbf being the most mentally stable clockwork is like saying you (a clown) is the most normal person in a room full of jesters and mimes#like sure yeah I guess you could be. but like you’re all also part of the same circus#clockwork future
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writing advice for characters with a missing eye: dear God does losing an eyes function fuck up your neck. Ever since mine crapped out I've been slowly and unconsciously shifting towards holding my head at an angle to put the good eye closer to the center. and human necks. are not meant to accommodate that sorta thing.
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live footage of me seconds away from redesigning Gabriel again
#canary imagery really doesn’t fit anymore with what I had planned I’m afraid#:(( but I can find a diff bird
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You stare ahead at your sparrow as he realises who the canary he had seen was, and you feel like the world whispered the name no actor would want to hear right into your ears.
Any second now, the disappointment, the anger, all of the pain your sparrow had felt, would be thrown and directed at you in a dramatic scene.
And you had to brace yourself, because you couldn’t let him see how much that would hurt.
You could not let anything you did not want to be seen bleed past your mask. Even if what you kept away turned to eat you alive (dead? what was the right word to describe your state?), once it realised it couldn’t get out through any other way.
In truth, you had always just wanted to help. You had never wanted to hurt your sparrow, or at least you think you hadn’t.
The way your own mind worked had long since stopped being relevant to you. You knew how to make other people’s minds work in a way you needed them to, and that was enough. And you only ever used that to help. You just wanted to help.
You kept him from the truth for now because you knew it would hurt him. Once you had led him to ensure this world, this fake world Your Past couldn’t see they were slowly losing control of, wasn’t any danger to reality, then you could bring him to the son he wanted to see. But it would be dangerous to let him get hurt before this world was stable, so you lied.
And besides, They always want a happy ending. That’s what They told you, when you found out about the true nature of this reality you were supposed to have such a high level of control over. They wanted that dramatic reunion, a wonderful scene full of emotions. And you wanted to please Them, to feed them before they fed on you.
So you lied. You lied because it made the performance and the story all the better.
But you’ve never been able to plan that far ahead, only seeing what’s happening in the moment.
You weren’t prepared for your lies to come crashing down on you.
This is Your Future’s doing, and you know it is. Static as uncaring as they pretend to be, they’ve always been a cunning creature. Despite their frail nature, they’re even better at directing an actor than you are at times. They knew that it the little canary found your sparrow, your play would fall apart, and their webs of strings would reign supreme.
They don’t even know what you know. You are the only one to know Them. And yet Your Future so easily stopped the script you were writing in its tracks.
And now you were left to deal with the fallout, as your sparrow turned back to face you.
He takes off his mask, the one you gave him to more easily guide him, and you suppress a wince.
Of the three of You, you’ve always been the most sociable. Through all the times you’ve split off to go interact with the world, you’ve learnt a lot about how the people of your reality, the one You all helped create along with the other deities. You’ve fallen in love with how they move, how they interact with each other, and what they create. They’re always moving towards the next moment in a way that enthrals you. Even when they wither and die, like they’re all destined to do, they’re so unique in how they do it.
But the one part you hate is their anger. Even when you were yourself and only you, it was always the worst feeling. To have scorn directed towards you made you feel sick, it made you want to tear off your own skin until you were absolutely nothing at all.
You never learnt how to deal with it, not properly. You could keep pretending it was fine, that it didn’t bother you, just until you could get away and be alone with the feelings of failure and anguish.
You do it now, just standing still as he sobs, as he screams at you. If you move, you’ll tear yourself into just the same state as him. Even if you can’t destroy yourself like you did as a person, you’ll try. You’ll keep trying until the horrible thing in your chest that spreads when you receive any anger, is finally gone.
Your little sparrow is so angry with you, and though a small part of you wants to comfort him, you don’t. This is a fine performance, you suppose. It will feed Them. And then, after he’s finished and you’ve had your time to want to rip yourself into shreds, you’ll improvise. You’ll keep going until the play’s over, and then you’ll go into your next performance.
It’s the best you can do. Maybe you won’t get to your intended ending, but if your sparrow lets you then you can get him a happy one.
You just have to keep acting.
#I had some messy thoughts and ended up doing this. this is debatably canon. enjoy Clockwork Present being a wreck#clockwork present#birdsong
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“You aren’t a monster, you know.”
Zeus blinked over at them, seemingly shocked by the break of their silence. Calico simply blinked back, slowly and deliberately. “Miles keeps saying it, but I don’t think it’s true.”
The face on Zeus’ screen turned into one of anger. “Well, it’s the one thing the bastard is right about. Look at me, Whiskers, I’m not exactly a sight for sore eyes. And I’m not a good person, either.”
“But you’re not a monster.”
They could hear Zeus’ tail swishing angrily behind him and the sound of static cracking in the air. “Yes, I am! I am filth and I’ve always known that! You don’t- don’t fucking lie to me.” He yelled, and Calico had to do their best to not flinch or wince. They sat there, next to the angered man, waiting.
“If you were a monster, you wouldn’t have agreed to come along with us. If you were a monster, you wouldn’t be so willing to admit you were in the wrong.” They hummed, internally bracing themselves for the anger that was to come. “You don’t want to be a monster, even if you think you are, do you?”
Silence. Calico looked at the demon, who had practically frozen. Like an animal that would freeze before its fight or flight instinct kicked in. “You aren’t perfect. You aren’t really a good person. But if you keep putting yourself down, you’re not going to have the energy to become a better one.”
Zeus stayed silent. They stood, leaving him frozen as they walked off. Zeus would figure it out, eventually, but he had to do it himself. He was smart enough.
For now, Calico had done their bit. They weren’t quite sure how they got into this situation, giving advice to this group of travellers, but they were in this for the long haul and they would help where they could.
So, instead of joining the rest by the fire, they walked into a nearby tree and decided that today they would rest.
#the Drabble I mentioned on my main . anyway gaming time bye#zeus nocere#calico (oc)#technically not a birdsong write but where else would this go
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secret lore for the followers: gabriel’s ghost hunting thing wasn’t directly inspired by phasmophobia at first but it has been since I first watched it
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