compulsivedragon

[compulsivedragon]

My cat has always had the worst timing. He'll jump up on my desk to cuddle at the very moment I'm about to get up to urgently go to the bathroom. He'll try to curl up with me in bed the very instant I need to get up and refill my glass of water and put some vaseline on my dry, sore lips. He'll ask me to play just at the second I need to end my break and get back to work.

The poor guy, right? From his perspective, he approaches me for love and I immediately get up and leave. I feel awful about it. I try to reassure him first that I love him and he just has bad timing, but I know it can't feel nice, and also he's too big of a dumbass to understand that me getting up and walking away isn't triggered by him coming to say hi.

Except today I realized something: Yes. It is.

I was sitting at my desk watching a video and up jumps the boy with a mrrp, head positioned for pets, when I realized I urgently had to get up and go to the bathroom. As I opened my mouth to say "bad timing again, buddy," it finally occurred to me that... I definitely already had to go. I for sure did not "suddenly" have an urgent need for the toilet out of fucking nowhere.

I didn't realize I needed to go because my brain is piloted by angry gremlins and they were more interested in watching the video than letting me know about an important bodily function.

My cat coming to say hi is a regular trigger that pulls me back into my body from whatever bullshit I'm hyperfocusing on. And that's when I realize all the warning lights are flashing on the dash. Need water. Need food. Need toilet. In pain: need to change position. Holy shit look at the time, need to get back to work!

I now wonder how much worse I'd function if I didn't have a furry little guy in my apartment to regularly remind me that I exist in a physical form which requires maintenance and also that time passes.

I do still feel bad for walking away from him every time, but I have started just inviting him to come with me. Hey bud, sorry, I have to stand up right now, but come follow me while I get a glass of water. You coming? Come on! And rewarding him with pats for following. It's better than just walking away, I think.

Anyway cats (or other pet of your choice that requires frequent attention)? 10/10, strongly encourage having a little guy to bother you now and then, especially if you have ADHD and live alone.

[compulsivedragon]

Looked in the back of a closet and GUESS WHO FOUND THEIR VACUUM CLEANER!!!!!!!

Also, one Pride Month Resolution I'm making is that I will no longer buy something, forget I bought it, then accidentally buy it again. If I won't use it in the next month, I'll just leave it in the wishlist.

[compulsivedragon]

The Hoarder.

And more mess.

[compulsivedragon]

I feel like I have slowed down a bit, but I am still making progress. The "zone" method is working for me a lot better because it allows me to actually see my progress. The checklist is helping too. I think I'd be more productive if I could get my sleep schedule under control (she said, posting this at almost 1 am)

I finally finished setting up the entryway, so here is the full before and after (although I still have to get rid of that tiny cardboard box of potion bottles). Ignore the fuck mat. I wanted to keep it and I didn't know where else to put it. And yes, I shouldn't keep the sewing machine there, but I don't have a better spot and it's out of the way there.

The day after, I went after the couch. This was a massive undertaking so I still have some boxes in front of it to tackle, but I'm proud of the progress

I can sit on the couch! I don't think I've sat on my couch since maybe March 2024.

I forgot to get a before pic of this mini hallway, but it's looking pretty good. I need a vacuum for all of the little cardboard pieces (blame the cat). I gave the cat a brand new scratching pad so he doesn't go after the carpet. Hence the plastic floor cover.

Tomorrow, I'm going to finish cleaning the far side of my bedroom so I can move these drawers that block the closet. After I move that, I'll be able to hang up more clothes. Whew! 😅 One day at a time!

[compulsivedragon]

Can't believe it's been over a year. That cleaning service? Yeah never happened. Turned out $800 was WAY out of my budget after I experienced a sudden expense. (Who could have seen that coming?🤦‍♀️)

Still, progress isn't a straight line. My apartment got continually worse over the course of the year, but a few things have changed.

1. I got a new job so I'm feeling a lot more hopeful and less stressed

2. My AC has been out since last summer and I always felt like I couldn't call the maintenance guy because my apartment was in the condition it is but I couldn't actually clean the apartment because it was 100° inside during the summer. So I caved and got a small window unit and it has made a huge difference.

3. I got a small storage unit for cheap to hold all of my school supplies during the summer so they don't overwhelm my apartment during the time when I have the most leeway to clean.

4. I have made a list of things in my apartment that I do not use and are nice enough and in good enough condition to sell or donate.

5. I am trying a "zoning" strategy instead of timing myself. I split my apartment into 30-ish small zones and I am hoping to clean 1-ish a day. Some zones are worse than others. I'm on day 2.

Yesterday, I tackled the entryway. I was having trouble getting the door open because of all of the boxes, packaging materials, and just general CRAP that slowly piled up on me. Threw out 1 trash bag and several boxes. I put 3 small boxes in storage and am getting a small shoe rack to organize my shoes and hold my bag. (Ignore the paint job I SWEAR TO GODDD one thing at a time) Will vacuum! The sewing machine stays until I find a better place. It's not perfect but it is miles better and a huge relief

Today, I had a bit of work so I tackled the easier job of the kitchen sink counter. Only had a bit of trash. Have to call the maintenance guy about the dishwasher because it backs up into the sink and the disposal doesn't run so I had to clean everything by hand. Selling the air fryer as I have only used it once. And I solemnly swear the cupboards aren't packed with stuff. I'm working on cleaning, not just shuffling.

So far, so good. Pray for me.

[compulsivedragon]

who’s gonna tell tumblr that executive dysfunction is more than Not Doing Things?

[compulsivedragon]

Ok not to be goofy on here but I just got a notification from my apartment like:

You violated your lease! You left trash next to the dumpster instead of inside it!

And I'm here. A hoarder. Knowing in my soul that I haven't thrown a bag of trash away in weeks.

Like. Girl.

[compulsivedragon]

Well, I applied to Steri-clean and they quoted me $2500, which I can't afford. I also think that price is a little steep considering my apartment is still walkable, and I don't have pests or mold.

So I just finished a walkthrough by Reset Decon and I have so much adrenaline! I am literally sweating! This is the first time that I've let people into this apartment besides myself and they seemed so nice. They talked me through the process, looked around to see what they're dealing with, and quoted me $800. This is much more in my reach.

I am so excited!

I finally submitted my application for hoarding cleanup! I really really struggled to take this step and I hope that I can afford their quote when I get it.

[compulsivedragon]

I finally submitted my application for hoarding cleanup! I really really struggled to take this step and I hope that I can afford their quote when I get it.

[compulsivedragon]

Well I'm back and the news is good and bad.

I moved to my new apartment last May and executive dysfunction hit me HARD. I'm still essentially living out of boxes and the place is a complete mess.

I've been doing really well at work and everything else just fell by the wayside. I didn't really notice how bad it was until last week when I got a routine inspection notice and they said "the apartment must be clean and uncluttered". Of course, I looked around, freaked out, threw away about 10 boxes and 7 leaf bags full of trash so now there are at least open pathways through the apartment.

But this was a wakeup call. I can't do this all on my own.

So I've decided next month, for my birthday, I'm going to ask for help paying a hoarding cleaning service and I'm going to go to the doctor to get some medication for my ADHD.

This is a good thing. I'm ready to start a new chapter. I'm sick of the shame. We'll see how it goes!

[compulsivedragon]

Reblog to give the person you reblogged it from the energy to do one (1) chore or maybe many

[compulsivedragon]

Hey I know I don't normally do this but there's a homeless artist on my block. He's outside right now in the Texas summer sun and it's 98 degrees. I think he's really talented so if anyone wants to throw a couple bucks his way or commission some art, his work is featured here:

His name is Philip Greenwood. Venmo and Cashapp are linked in the bio. I'm going to check back in with him tomorrow but it'd be cool if y'all shared it 😄

[compulsivedragon]

Organized all of my jewelry AND hung up all of my unpacked clothes! I realize I haven't updated in a while but I've moved apartments and I've been painting and unpacking during the summer break

[compulsivedragon]

Well in good news, I cleaned my goal area

In bad news, I pulled a hook off the wall and created a big hole 😬

Fortunately I have patched the whole with toothpaste and once it dries I have a matched pot of paint. This isn't my first rodeo

Next section:

It's a lot less overwhelming than the last one. I'm also in the middle of digitizing all of my dad's old CDs for him before he moves to Panama so I'm going to be cleaning this section with a vintage soundtrack

[compulsivedragon]

Next section:

It's a lot less overwhelming than the last one. I'm also in the middle of digitizing all of my dad's old CDs for him before he moves to Panama so I'm going to be cleaning this section with a vintage soundtrack

[compulsivedragon]

Ok! About an hour later, I've made more progress than I thought! Although I did hurt my wrist moving those boxes 😭

Not nearly done but I think I made a good chunk. I'm going to keep working my way around the couch.

Struggling again. I'm moving in a week. The apartments already signed for and I've already hired movers but I am not even close to packed. I keep trying to get started and the task keeps overwhelming me. I know it's almost 6:00 but I want to get finished with the living room by the end of today. Here's what I'm working with

Will report back on my progress soon

[compulsivedragon]

Struggling again. I'm moving in a week. The apartments already signed for and I've already hired movers but I am not even close to packed. I keep trying to get started and the task keeps overwhelming me. I know it's almost 6:00 but I want to get finished with the living room by the end of today. Here's what I'm working with

Will report back on my progress soon