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[confessionsofadatingmom]

What is your toxic trait?

Everyone has one, mine I think is my ability to cut someone off and out of my life without going back. That might sound harsh, but let me level with you. I, just like everyone else, have some trauma that has given me this ability. It’s not a great thing I can do because I’m sure it hurts other people in some way, but it’s a way for me to separate myself from things that I no longer wish to be a part of. Excessive drinking, negative atmospheres, condescending ‘friends’ etc.

As an example, when a partner wants to end things with me my brain says, “they don’t want you” and I walk away. There’s no groveling, pleading or any of the sort. I just up and walk away.

So, what is your toxic trait?

[confessionsofadatingmom]

The One with the Posterior Gawker

I think it’s time to let you in on one of my failed date attempts. I ‘met’ this guy on Hinge, we’ll call him Bryan. Conversation flowed well, he seemed intelligent and had a witty sense of humor. The guy was a storm chaser, which was probably the coolest thing I’d heard of in a while. 🤷🏻‍♀️

We agreed to meet up in a little downtown Mexican restaurant one summery Saturday. We ventured into the busy restaurant, yes pre pandemic if you’re wondering - we sat at the bar to grab a drink and talk. This guy had some balls on him because the ENTIRE time we were talking he was checking out anyone and everyone (literally) that walked by. He made comments about their backsides and gave them a Yelp style rating. So I’m sitting there, flabbergasted and completely speechless.

He then turned his attention back to me and started talking about how he had his annual exam the week prior. If you don’t know what happens and man’s annual exam go ahead and Google it. I’ll wait…

You good now? Cool, cool cool cool.

So I’m holding my drink with both hands skeptical of what exactly this man was going to say next. He proceeds to tell me that I looked like nurse he had at his exam and how he thought she was really attractive. (Am I supposed to take that as a compliment or like..what??) so, Bryan holds up his left hand and motions with his index finger in a small circular action. He said, ‘I came so hard when she gave me the prostate exam. She had to catch it in a cup. It was so fucking hot.’

👀

^^ that was me. I had no words. Nothing. I couldn’t speak even if I wanted to.

Bryan takes a sip of his drink and asked me, ‘let’s go to my place and play. Will you give me an exam’ 😏

In stunned silence I gulped at my drink and looked for any words to come. NOTHING.

Bryan lifted to fingers and said, ‘two fingers though.’

I downed my drink, dropped $5 on the bar and excused myself to the restroom never to be seen again.

[confessionsofadatingmom]

Dating Apps

The sheer amount of dating apps out there absolutely blows my mind. The fact that all we do is work, eat, sleep and stick to our own these days has made it hard to meet new people. The pandemic amplified that ten fold. -_- 

Personally, I tend to cycle through different apps to check them out one at a time. That’s not to say I haven’t used two at a time, it just causes more chaos in the process - for me at least. A quick overview of what I have tried out:

Bumble - This one requires the women to reach out first. It can be a little daunting if you’re an over thinker like me. A simple, ‘hey’ isn’t going to suffice in most cases. This app gives the ladies a little more umph off the top. My favorite opener is, ‘Hey! I’m ______ how do you feel about pineapple on pizza?’ EVERYONE has an opinion on this topic. 

Tinder - Tinder tends to get a little bit of a stigma about it being only for hookups but I have seen some great relationships come from it too. I stay away from this one due to it’s hookup nature - I never got passed a greeting without then having an unsolicited photo sent to me or being propositioned.

Hinge - Hinge claims to be ‘designed to be deleted.’ I haven’t heard much about how many success stories there are from this one, but I don’t think it is more than any other app out there. I will admit, the layout on this one is my favorite.

Match - this was an expensive waste of money. There were so many people on here that wanted to hurry up and settle down. While I m not afraid of a commitment by any means, I also don’t want to jump into something blindly. It was a bit off putting. 

To sum it up, there are sooo many options. You can cycle through them and see which work best for you or which you could do without. In the end it’s up to you. 

[confessionsofadatingmom]

When the flags are red.

What exactly constitutes a good or bad date? Is it the conversation, the electric energy pulsating between you, or could it be the date location that gave off good vibes??

If you’re anything like me you are a bit introverted with a more observational approach to dating. You may or may not have a friend that could work for the FBI or missing persons unit because she can find anything on anyone using the internet. Give BB 20 minutes and she comes back with a full report on this potential date. 

That being said, I have some red flags that I have cultivated over the last 5 years of being single. 

1. Is the conversation flowing before the date was requested? 

-If the answer to this is no, I pass on the date. I’m all for opening up more for an in person meeting but at the same time if the other person cannot hold a small conversation via text/app or what have you then what are you expecting in person? 

2. Do they smoke cigarettes? Not really a red flag but..still. 

-This is a hard no for me. I feel like I am choking when around cigarette smoke and I do not wish to have it around me regularly. If you don’t mind it, then I’ll send some names your way. (: 

3. Bossy profile bios. 

-I get it, you know what you want but you giving a laundry list of criteria a woman MUST meet in order for you to swipe on her or even converse with her is a bit demeaning. Why are you telling me what to do? Are you getting women with this mindset and alpha mentality? (Not to say women don’t do the same, I just don’t check out their profiles.)

4. Love Bombing. 

-If you haven’t googled this, you should. Yes there are people out there that are extremely affectionate, but if there is no solid foundation for a relationship this can be sketchy. 

5. Always in the phone during the date. 

-Not only is it rude, but they are showing you that you are not a priority in their life by ignoring you to your face. There are times where things come up, a sitter needs something, there’s an emergency, etc. but regularly using their phone while you’re on a date and getting to know one another is different. 

Do you have any specific red flags? Tell me what they are, I’d love to know!

[confessionsofadatingmom]

Being a native Floridian has its perks, tan lines, boat days, constant beach waves in your hair, etc. Don’t get me wrong, having 10 months of heat waves and hurricane parties are part of the charm - but it’s basically a vacation hot spot year round if you live by the beaches.

Having lived here my entire life I have come to notice a few things when it comes to dating in the Sunshine State. 

1. Most people you meet outside of work, church or school are passers by that are here for a week then back to their northern towns with their brick buildings and basements. 

2. The ‘Florida Man’ is a real thing and often fear fueling for the Florida Women looking to date. 

3. Hook up culture runs rampant through these parts; if I had a penny for every time someone told me they wanted ‘no strings’ or only wanted the ‘girlfriend treatment without the title’ I wouldn’t have to work anymore.