constantlyquestioningg

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"me and who" the lovers and dreamers!!!

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I just....I just learned that there's a word in the English language...for when you run into someone to hug them with all the enthusiasm and strength you have....I learned that it's called glomp.

My God, English has so many words to describe physical intimacy, I'm in love

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saw this reel and thought tumblr would appreciate it

og caption: “so there’s this trend going around where you put something “that takes the edge off” between your fingers… but the office kind of ran wild with it 😳 my Japanese salarymen are up to no good again 🙏”

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Our government doesn't care about its citizens, just about money, so i'm gonna do my best to sabotage our tourism-based economy and ask youse to spread this around. I'll try to be brief. If you are currently in Split, Croatia or somewhere in the vicinity, or if you are ever planning on visiting the country: please go ahead and boycott and let your family/friends know as well.

Moby Drea, a ship full of asbestos, has to have asbest panels dismantled (a few sources in english). Every European port + Turkey rejected this ship. Brodosplit shipyard in Split, Croatia accepted it, and it docked, despite citizens' protesting, just this week (post written in the morning of Friday, August 8th). For reference, Split is the second biggest city in Croatia, after the capital Zagreb. 160k people live there. My parents live there, my uncles, aunts and cousins, my best friends. I wanted to raise my children there one day because the air and water is so much cleaner than in the capital. And now, a ship with 300 tons of asbestos will be dismantled in a shipyard inside the city, during the climax of the tourism season.

The powers that be are promising transparency and that the asbestos panels will be dismantled "fully following procedures". Inspections will be done "regularly". Inspections in Croatia don't mean a thing. A family friend owns a cafe in the capital city, an inspector attempted to coerce him into giving him a bribe, orherwise the inspector would negatively falsify the report. Corruption is so widespread, we joke about always keeping extra money to bribe border control, the police, even doctors. An additional problem is Brodosplit itself. The shipyard hasn't paid out its 500 workers in months. Their pays have been cut. Brodosplit used to be one of the central parts of Split's industry and employed thousands of locals, now it's just a shell of its former self, and obviously used just for the personal profit of a few already rich people. Debeljak, the owner of the group that owns Brodosplit, is also in the business of hiring foreign workers.

For context: Croats and other ex-yu workers in Croatia have been bullied by employers for years. The common phrase was "If you won't work, there are people who will", because the bad pay and awful conditions were always worth the trouble to someone desperate enough. In recent years, nobody "wanted to work". The government didn't fix this by raising minimum wage or improving inspections to improve working conditions, but by having the ruling parties' family members open agencies for foreign workers and installing modern slavery taking advantage of foreign workers who go into debt just to arrive in the country. Workers from Nepal, India and the Philippines are now made to work in inhumane conditions for peanuts. These are workers who came here out of desperation, not because they had skills we needed. It's not their fault, it's our government's because they are being taken advantage of, but they are untrained in the jobs they are given and often barely speak English. Moreover, there are way fewer workers from the Philippines purely because their government offers more protection for its citizens who work abroad. Our government doesn't want to spend money to have these workers trained or protected. How do they plan on having them work safely with asbestos?

They don't. A video went viral a few days ago of foreign workers manually dismantling asbestos without any protective gear in Solin, a small town near Split (source in Croatian with video attached). In Solin, a project of asbestos dismantling not even connected to Moby Drea, but led by a company owned by the same man who owns Brodosplit, Debeljak. This is what his group's spokesperson had to say:

"The presence of the material [asbestos] was, as they claim, neither known nor recorded in the project documentation, but despite that the situation was resolved >quickly, expertly and completely in accordance with obligations imposed by laws and environmental regulations.<" The source goes on to encourage the reader to watch the video and judge for themself just how quickly, expertly and in accordance with regulations the situation was handled, and I would encourage you to do the same.

Because that's the transparency and inspections promised to us. Transparency that's just "we'll lie to your face about it", they did it shamelessly just last week, and now tell us 300 tons of asbestos will be dealt with in the same expert way they claimed this was handled.

Furthermore, the owner is well-connected with the ruling party. Other well-connected folks who never got proper punishment for screwing over the citizens of Croatia include: a former prime minister who was recently released from prison without having to return a single cent of the 1.3 million EUR he stole from the country. So-called "Corona Kid" and his father who sold 1.2 million copies of forged COVID tests in 2022. The late minister of health who accepted a 25k EUR bribe to massively overpay for medical equipment (bought for 135k, sold for 464k EUR). A former minister who caused a car accident and killed a father of two, with the trial's start taking a full year and a half, and his team accused the victim of being drunk and the one at fault for the accident, while it was the minister who was in the wrong lane, speeding while passing a truck with 0.21‰ in his blood and key evidence went missing. Etc. Etc. Etc.

You'd have to be stupid to trust anything they say about handling asbestos safely and in accordance with regulations.

I'm posting this, again, because the powers that be could not care less about the citizens of Croatia and about our future. But they love profit, and they looove foreign money so much that they neglected all our industries just to seek impossible-to-manage growth in tourism (which accounts for 10-15% of our GDP). So much, that, another beautiful aspect of how transparent and honest they are, Croatia was one of the only countries (with the USA) with open borders during summer 2020. We had rising cases of COVID all year, schools closed, everything was closed, but just before the tourism season began, we suddenly saw drops in cases, just in time for the borders to be opened on June 1st. And the second wave started just as summer ended. And because they love foreign money and tourist money so much, I'm hoping to spread the news of asbestos poisoning southern Dalmatia to foreigners. And I'm hoping I cause at least one person to cancel their trip here, because the only thing our government listens to is the rustling of money. It feels like they want to shut down the shipyard completely so they can demolish it and build more hotels on its site. Greed already has folks setting fires to forests so they can build tourist accommodations on the char and ashes, but this is ecocide and endangering everyone, tourists and locals both, for years to come, and the only motivation is greed and profit.

Tl;dr: 300 tons of asbestos docked in a Split shipyard. Pattern recognition says it will most definitely be handled unsafely and poison the city and its surroundings. The country couldn't care less about its citizens, so I'm asking would-be tourists to save their money and go to Greece or Italy instead. It'll be cheaper than Dalmatia, and you won't get lung cancer in 20 years.

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The king of all cosmos got a twitter account around 2008/2009 to promo katamari forever and some of his posts are really good. He's like Dril to me.

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the moon is literally my favourite circle

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Apple Bottomjeans is a beautiful gname for a gnome

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Important rules/tips I've learned as an adult that helped with anxiety

If people are mad at you, it's their responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess

If they're mad at you in secret anyways, they're the ones in the wrong, not you

If people don't like what you're doing, it's their responsibility to tell you

If they say it's fine when it's really not, they're the ones in the wrong, not you

People are allowed to be wrong about you

If they are wrong about you, wait for them to bring it up, because if you try to, you will inevitably overcorrect

Some people are committed to misunderstanding you. You will not win arguments against them. Yes, even if you explain your point of view. They do not care. Drop it

The worst thing that will happen from a first-time offense is being told not to do it again. Maybe with a replacement if you broke something

You can improve relationships and gauge willingness to talk to you by giving compliments. It's like a daily log-in bonus and nobody thinks twice about it

Most things are better after you sleep on them

Most things are better after you have a meal

Most things are better after you shower

Your brain makes up consequences that are irrational. If the worst DOES come to pass and someone acts like they do in your head, they are overreacting, and you are entitled to say "what the fuck"

If your chest hurts after you feel like you've made a social error, that's called rejection-sensitive dysphoria. It means your anxiety is so bad that it's causing you physical pain, which is a good indicator that you're overreacting. Tense yourself, hold it for 20 seconds, let it go, then find a distraction

If you're suddenly angry at someone after you feel like you made a social error, that's also rejection-sensitive dysphoria. You are going to feel annoyed about it for awhile, but being genuinely pissed off is your anxiety trying to find something to blame to take the responsibility off your shoulders, and getting scared because it can't justify itself. Deep breaths, ask yourself how much you ACTUALLY want to be angry at that person, then find a distraction

"Sour grapes" is more healthy for you than stewing. Deciding you don't like someone who's perpetually annoyed with you, won't talk to you, etc. makes letting go of anxiety over them easier

If people don't like you, they will find reasons to be annoyed with you when they otherwise wouldn't. If people do like you, they will find reasons NOT to be annoyed with you when they otherwise would. People do not ping-pong between the two

You DO have to make a conscious choice not to think about something. If you're having trouble circling back to it, say out loud that you're done thinking about it and why. Then find a distraction

When you're upset, part of you is going to want to make false bids for attention (suddenly texting differently, heavy sighs, etc. but when someone asks you about it, you tell them it's nothing). Do not listen to it. You gain nothing from it except more misery

People like to help people they care about. It makes them feel good about themselves

If you think you're insufferable for needing help, see above. Yes, really. They get a serotonin kick from it

If you think you're insufferable for mannerisms you have, you either have to consciously choose not to do them, or accept that they're part of the package that comes with you. Being apologetic about existing does nothing except make you more miserable

If you do things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it makes it easier to do them when you hate it

If you avoid things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it reinforces and magnifies how bad it feels when you hate it

Seriously. Read those last two points again. If you can make yourself make a phone call when you've got nothing to lose, you will slowly lose that panic you get when you have to make a phone call you haven't prepared for. You do have to CONSCIOUSLY take that step

Hobbies that make you care for something get rid of that nagging feeling that you're not doing enough. Go grow some rosemary

If you don't engage with your hobbies regularly, you will feel miserable, and anxiety will spike

Hobbies are things that give you a bit of happiness. They do not have to be organized or named to do that. Go be creative in something. Play with coins. Make up lists. Start a new WIP

No one cares what you look like

If people point out things they don't like about how you look unprompted, they are being rude. You are entitled to say "what the fuck"

People who like you will find you pretty to some degree. Minor things about your appearance go completely unnoticed. Literally, scars and dots and blemishes do not register to someone who likes your company

You looking at yourself in the mirror is 10x more closely than anyone is going to look at you

If you're anxious about your body type, and you're creatively inclined, make/write an oc with that same shape. Give them nice things and make other characters love them. Put them on adventures. You'll start to see yourself in the mirror more kindly

You care about wording and perfect lines/colors way more than anyone who views your work ever will

Sometimes when you're upset, you're going to feel like not eating. Do not do that. Not eating makes you more miserable

Same with things you normally enjoy. Denying yourself helps no one. You are punishing yourself for being sad. Stop it

Both of these will take conscious decision to break the habit of. Make yourself do it anyways, and it will slowly get easier

And again, to reiterate: If someone is mad at you, it is THEIR responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess

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me when i definitely don’t have plany off time: oobh i got plany off time

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(entry in the qing jing peak lord’s secret journal, dated five days after luo binghe presents a clumsily-made fan to him)

idea to kill the system (“kill” is underlined thrice and “system” has a penis drawn above it)

(crossed out in frustrated lines) identify biggest fear

(a large blank space)

(shakily written) overwhelm yourself with gay thoughts so that your brain crashes and it takes the system with it. (severe brushstrokes) ill kill both of us if i have to

pros: no more system, binghe can grow up happy and safe, no more living restrained and in fear

cons: risk of qi deviation, liu shidi would not appreciate being stared at like that, airplane bro will never let me live it down if i die because i thought of yue qingyuan’s tits too hard

conclusion: undecided

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in a world where shizun took binghe's place in the abyss at the iac, and he became the demon realm's emperor, he somehow manages to be weirder than tianlang-jun. at least that one knew what fun was, even if he emptied the treasury for it

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Australia, as a country, has developed a weird national collective amnesia that winter ever exists in this country to the point that every solstice the national broadcaster runs an article going 'Australians once again shocked at to discover this new thing called "cold"'.

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in a world where shizun took binghe's place in the abyss at the iac, and he became the demon realm's emperor, he somehow manages to be weirder than tianlang-jun. at least that one knew what fun was, even if he emptied the treasury for it

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speaking of mingyan. you ever realize how she parallels shen yuan? she loved binghe as a wife in pidw and as her blorbo in svsss. reverse that and you get - exactly. shen yuan. might be the only character aside from shen yuan who saw the worst of binghe and went hm...... not a deal breaker. justice for mingyan's weirdly intense binghe no matter what universe

maaan this is why i love svsss tumblr. i go make fries with cheese and a topping of cheese thinking about what new thought i could put on the internet and gain Fame and Affection from the people, and when i come back i’ve got asks from people way smarter than me making observations i would’ve never thought to make myself.

outsourcing princess. synergising king. streamlining emperor. other words my bosses used to say

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shizun’s ankles

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No, ur absolutely so right about Bingcest. Preach louder because like. It’s just so fun. Any reason why they would be doing it is so fun. Is Bingge fucking Bingmei to show him how he needs to fuck Shizun? Is it a domination thing? What crazy kinks would Bingmei learn from Bingge? How would he try and incorporate them with Shizun? So many questions. I want Bingge to bite Bingmei’s lips when they kiss.

anon i love you and am willing to go through the abyss for you empty-handed and with my hands tied. will give you my firstborn. thank you for letting me talk about this please never leave me

now that the bingmei rp is over, and keeping in mind that i am forever sleep deprived, in a vaguely bingge mood, and also very sorry for what that means for any passersby, here’s my answer. horniness and thoughts (hopefully coherent enough) under the cut

though i find the shizun sandwich version of bingcest to be extremely tasty and a great apperitif, i feel like the pure bingge-bingmei storylines my brain throws at me every now and then are so fucking good (read: hhNnNg) on their own.

a non-exhaustive list of some ideas i didn’t ever think too deeply about but like for reasons:

what if bingge is bingmei’s shizun.

what if bingmei gets stranded in pidw.

what if bingge accompanies bingmei in the abyss.

what if instead of only having bingge and bingmei, we also throw in oo!lbh into the mix and make this the worst throuple to have ever existed.

what if the system fucks up and there’s two binghe’s from the very beginning, twins or clones or whatever, and they brave the world on their own so as not to strain the washerwoman’s already precarious situation further than they did the first time around.

what if bingmei wishes very, very hard for a father during his disciplehood, and the system plops bingge into his world when shen yuan is mia.

what if bingge goes out and tries to find the svsss world again but ends up in oo!pidw.

what if bingge and bingmei live to the ends of their lives and meet after the universe is wiped as cosmic beings and they have incomprehensible sex to soothe the pain.

what if bingmei suspects bingge came back to steal shizun during the monthly wifeplots, and just jumps the gun and goes after the fucker directly.

what if modern au.

what if modern au where they’re separated at birth.

what if actual lab clones of each other!

et cetera (many more examples. none of which i can think of right now and if i’m being honest? half of these i thought up on the fly, so i was lying. fibbing. other words. never ever assume i know what i’m talking about)

in any and all these situations shen qingqiu and/or shen yuan could and perhaps should be integrated, but for my purposes he can take a moment to breathe. i’ll return him his husbands shortly.

back to the point: i love every iteration of bingcest.

bingge and bingmei being very alpha vs. alpha about fucking and literally fighting for dominance. bingmei being horrible at kissing and bingge getting annoyed with the teeth thing and showing him how to actually bite someone (stealing your desires as they perfectly align with mine, anon) and then finding out that what bingge would consider lowly and ignoble (is that how you use the word? probably not), bingmei blushes and whines for so prettily.

exchanging blood and it fails to do anything but induce arousal in the other and then using that as a way to torment each other.

i want the snapping teeth and the clawing and the violence. the almost-tangible, suffocating hatred and frustration. them choking on their leashes tied together without their knowledge. choking on them where the’re tied to opposite ends of the bed as they try to get to the other. and so forth

but soft bingcest works beautifully too. don’t know how they’d end up in that situation but i’m picturing it and it’s very nice.

bingge’s vanity and desire to be perfect projected onto his own self staring back at him, bingmei’s bratty disobedience challenging bingge’s desire to subjugate and conquer and take, all of this culminating in the two of them understanding their differences but also loathing them in a way. why is he different, he’s me, why can’t he understand, why isn’t he doing what i would, why does he hate me, the likes

oh!! bingmei should yell that at bingge actually. or growl it while he pins bingge down to get him to listen to him. and bingge should want to say, “are you stupid?” but holds back because now isn’t the time. where did the brat even get that idea from? he’s done everything he could to make him stronger, to make him realise that the world is a shit, cruel place and they only have each other in the end, and yeah it’s a shit hand to be dealt, but is it? is it really?

hm. don’t really know where that thought ends up but i’m pretty sure it ends up with both of them fucking unbearably tenderly (by their standards) in a forest somewhere.

anyway.

i don’t mean to exclude shizun because. i wouldn’t fucking dare? but bingcest is. it’s dear to me. i’m a bingcest purist if you’d like, but bingcestqiu/yuan is second on the list. third is mobingcumplane/moshangbingqiu but that’s another thing altogether

(i have no actual clue if there’s ship names for these already. surely there are?)

BUT. adding shizun into the mix is wonderful. i’ve rec’ed it before but through the eye of a needle is SUCH a good fic PLEASE give it a read it’s my favourite fic ever ever in the history of ever

i love the idea of shizun trying to tame these two idiots and failing miserably. i also love the idea of him succeeding. i want bingmei making bingge drink some ‘respect shizun’ juice and i want bingge to give bingmei some much needed ‘fuck shizun’ lessons. i want shizun to direct their every movement while he casually drinks his tea and pretends like he’s not foaming at the mouth seeing the two protagonists being “forced” to go at each other like they’re passionate, devoted lovers.

just.

bingcest…

there’s so much i want from bingcest. i want the guilt, and the confusion, and the rage! i want the angst! the territorial spats, the dick measuring contests (literal and metaphorical). the comfort! the. idk man they should be allowed to be horrible to each other, it’s not like they can die.

(holy shit what if one of them dies. fuck i’m exhausted but please. kill one of them and make the other revive him. somehow. maybe we can make regret of chunshan reality but it’s bingcest, if you understand)

but mainly i want the two pretty idiots humping each other’s thighs like teenagers. making bingge crawl for bingmei is also a very fun thought that would make him (plural) react in a very entertaining way. getting bingmei to power bottom is chef’s kiss when bingge’s on the other end. teaching bingge about the beauty of surrendering to his own self, which he does not trust with anything but also understands more than he’d like or wants to acknowledge is also neat. they would get up to degeneracies that i can’t speak of. i’m shy and also inarticulate about them

oooh also lebingcest. exactly the same as before but it’s better. because lesbian yaoi

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Attempting to get my students to fucking come to class