constantviewings

[constantviewings]

A (Not So) Weekly Wrap-Up

Saltburn

Struggling to find his place at Oxford University, student Oliver Quick finds himself drawn into the world of the charming and aristocratic Felix Catton, who invites him to Saltburn, his eccentric family's sprawling estate, for a summer never to be forgotten.

From what I've seen, the opinions of this film are pretty hot and cold and I fall somewhere right in the middle. I had a lot of fun watching it, but it still has it's flaws. Starting off, I love the look of this film, the warm lighting and the film grain just makes me think of a home tape from the 2000s. Also, the cast are great, Barry Keoghan is an obvious standout but doesn't overshadow the great performances from the rest of the cast. I know people read this as a class commentary, but I think it's more about obsession than class as somewhat proven by the reveal at the midway point. My only gripe is that the montage at the end showing Oliver's perspective feels like it's overcompensating, maybe most of those shots could have been left where they take place and we just get to see the monologue?

Rating: 4

Final Destination (all movies)

After a teenager has a terrifying vision of him and his friends dying in a plane crash, he prevents the accident only to have Death hunt them down, one by one.

I'm not reviewing these movies one-by-one because, as we all know, they're basically all the same movie. I'm only going to point out two in particular, Final Destination 3 and The Final Destination. The third installment of this franchise is my personal favourite, I like that the mystery changes from the order of death to how each person will die; it helps it feel fresh even though it's the same movie three times over. The Final Destination is my, and most people's, least favourite: the effects are so fake looking and none of the deaths are really that memorable. At least with the others you can remember 'the train one' and 'the eye one' the only half decent death is the guy who dies in the pool, but only because it's so dumb.

Rating: -4

Ghosts (UK)

A cash-strapped young couple inherits a grand country house, only to find it is both falling apart and teeming with the ghosts of former inhabitants.

I binged this entire series in maybe a week (?) after realising I'd spent years putting off watching for whatever reason. Honestly, I love this show, I laughed and I cried. What a great little show and I can't wait to see what the team do next.

Rating: 3

Taylor Swift: The Eras Tour

Since I'll never see the tour live, I guess this is the next best thing! 2023 saw me re-entering my 'Taylor Swift Era' and this movie is the perfect nostalgia trip while also introducing me to the music I hadn't listened to in the meanwhile.

Hell Camp

Out-of-control teens across America were sent to a therapy camp in the harsh Utah desert. The conditions were brutal, but the staff were even worse.

Holy crap, this is actually fucked. Like, I understand the organisers were sugar coating it to the parents, but the fact they didn't believe their own kids is insane...wow.

[constantviewings]

A (Not So) Weekly Wrap-Up

The Hunger Games: A Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes

64 years before he becomes the tyrannical president of Panem, Coriolanus Snow sees a chance for a change in fortunes when he mentors Lucy Gray Baird, the female tribute from District 12.

I read the book at the beginning of the year when I went through my Hunger Games phase again, and this movie is exactly what I thought it would be compared to the book. They obviously had to cut a decent amount in order to turn and 600 page book into a 2 1/2 hour movie, and that doesn't bother me in the slightest; even if it means losing a couple of my favourite scenes. Tom Blythe does a great job for how subtle the performance needed to be and he really shows off in his final scenes. The only real complaints I have are minor nitpicks: there are too many 'wink wink' references to the original trilogy: Snow saying "Is this real?" and the camera hovering on the bow and arrow in the arena; it just came off a little too referency for my taste. I also don't like the aesthetic of the tech, I know it's supposed to tap into how long before the original trilogy this takes place, but you're telling me that somewhere that hoards wealth and advancement like the Capitol hasn't evolved technology that much faster than in the real world; expecially because they're using the Panem equivalent of an smartwatch in the book? Overall, I still really like this movie, and my complaints don't effect my viewing experience that much.

Rating: 4

Stamped From the Beginning

Using innovative animation and expert insights, this documentary based on Ibram X. Kendi's bestseller explores the history of racist ideas in America.

I picked this up on a whim and was pleasently surprised, everything is presented in a really engaging way and I learnt about events I'd never heard of before.

Catering Chirstmas

Molly Frost is hired by Jean Harrison, the director of the Harrison Foundation, to cater this year’s annual Christmas Gala dinner. Things get complicated when Molly falls for Jean’s nephew, Carson, who has no desire to take over the family’s foundation… until his aunt assigns him to the task of making sure the catered dinner goes perfectly.

Would it be the holidays without cheesy romance movies? Off the back of my annual Love, Actually re-watch I had to watch something with a name like Catering Christmas. It's exactly what you think it is, lots of fun and mediocre production value.

Rating: -3

Miss Americana

A raw and emotionally revealing look at one of the most iconic artists of our time during a transformational period in her life as she learns to embrace her role not only as a songwriter and performer, but as a woman harnessing the full power of her voice.

Another documentary to close us out this week. I was a Taylor Swift fan when I was younger and only recently came back because of the Eras Tour. I only sort of followed the events that are covered here, but not closely as it was around the time I fell off the Taylor Swift train (not because of the drama, I just devoted all my time to One Direction back then). It's a well made documentary that makes me want to watch all of her concert movies and fill myself with nostalgia.

[constantviewings]

A (Not So) Weekly Update

M3gan

A brilliant toy company roboticist uses artificial intelligence to develop M3GAN, a life-like doll programmed to emotionally bond with her newly orphaned niece. But when the doll's programming works too well, she becomes overprotective of her new friend with terrifying results.

I don't really have much to say about M3gan. It's good, but I don't really get why the craze was so big when it came out.

Rating: 3

Muriel's Wedding

A young social outcast in Australia steals money from her parents to finance a vacation where she hopes to find happiness, and perhaps love.

An Australian classic that my best friend would be disappointed that I'd never seen. It was alright, I get why so many people love it.

Rating: -3

Five Nights at Freddy's

Recently fired and desperate for work, a troubled young man named Mike agrees to take a position as a night security guard at an abandoned theme restaurant: Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria. But he soon discovers that nothing at Freddy's is what it seems.

Am I in my mid-twenties? Yes. Did I scream at MatPat's cameo? Also, yes. I'm easy to please, give me a servicable adaptation of a game I haven't cared about for six years starring Josh Hutcherson and Matthew Lillard and I'll eat it up like a kid at Christmas. This movie is genuinely so much fun and if I was immune to embarrasment I would have seen it in cinemas, but I'm not, so I hope my neighbours enjoyed me cackling at the The Living Tombstone song during the credits.

Rating: -4

[constantviewings]

A (Not So) Weekly Wrap Up

What a great start to my 'comeback' by missing two weeks in a row... anyway!

Barbie

Barbie and Ken are having the time of their lives in the colorful and seemingly perfect world of Barbie Land. However, when they get a chance to go to the real world, they soon discover the joys and perils of living among humans.

I, like a lot of other people, love this movie. I understand that the feminism is quite shallow but I can excuse it because that's what Barbie (the character) needed to learn; as well as many viewers. I have eaten my words for doubting Ryan Gosling as Ken, I truely don't think anyone could have done better. I will admit that some of the jokes fall a little flat, noteably the 'Depression Barbie' bit felt a little too millenial for me. All round, an absolute must watch for me.

Rating: 5

Spider-Man Across the Spiderverse

Miles Morales is catapulted across the Multiverse, where he encounters the Spider Society, a team of Spider-People charged with protecting the Multiverse’s very existence. But when the heroes clash on how to handle a new threat, Miles finds himself pitted against the other Spiders and must set out on his own to save those he loves most.

We all know that I love Into the Spiderverse and I was ecstatic for the sequel while exercising saint-like patience waiting for the digital release as a precaution against the strobe effects (a pet peeve of mine). I went into this completely blind, so imagine my shock when it ended on that cliffhanger! Even though it's mostly setup for Beyond the Spiderverse (Sony please put it back on the release scehdule) it still has plenty of story and character development for me to forgive that. Daniel Kaluuya as Hobie was a stand-out for me as well as Karan Soni as Pavita Prabhakar. I will say, the live action bits stick out like a sore thumb...

Rating: 5

After Everything

Besieged by writer’s block and the crushing breakup with Tessa, Hardin travels to Portugal in search of a woman he wronged in the past – and to find himself. Hoping to win back Tessa, he realizes he needs to change his ways before he can make the ultimate commitment.

Here we are, the final After movie...yikes. Like the others, this movie is just a fun movie to put on and laugh at but this time we're in Portugal! Hardin is just as toxic and Tessa is barely in it, instead she is replaced by Nathalie (bless Mimi Keene) as another woman Hardin has victimised who's only role is to forgive him for something he hasn't grown from. I also want to point out the single best line from this movie in reference to a in-universe adaptation of Hardins book: "Harry Styles should play you in the movie." I had to take a break after that one...

Rating: -4

Moxie

Inspired by her mom's rebellious past and a confident new friend, a shy 16-year-old publishes an anonymous zine calling out sexism at her school.

Not much to say about this one, just felt like watching it. Similar to Barbie, it is a bit of an ABC's of feminism movie, but everyone's got to start somewhere so I dont' care.

Rating: -3

[constantviewings]

I'm Back (again)

I'm no stranger to taking a break from this blog. In fact, the last one I took started exactly two years after my most recent one!

If anyone is regularly checking my blog for activity (I highly doubt it) they would have noticed that I stopped posting when the SAG-AFTRA strike began. I debated whether or not I should avoid promotion of struck work in compliance with their rules and I knew that wasn't a good enought reason for me given that I'm 1. not remotely close to being an 'influencer' and 2. that I don't really want to work in the film industry so why should I worry about scabbing?

But then I realised I should pause on posting for a while, firstly out of solidarity for those fighting for better working rights and secondly out of laziness and a drop in my own media consumption.

All of that to say that I'm back now and I'm going to try and hold myself accountable to staying regular. Obviously, I need to catch up on reviewing what I have watched the last few months and then it's time for cheesy Christmas movies and maybe a few movies that turned 10 this year.

[constantviewings]

A (Not So) Weekly Wrap-Up - Black Mirror Special

FULL SPOILER WARNING FOR SEASON 6 OF BLACK MIRROR

Overall Thoughts

I think I’m done with Black Mirror, and I think Charlie Brooker is to because most of these episodes completely disregard the shows formula and message to the point where it’s unrecognisable outside of the title screen. Every episode runs at least ten to twenty minutes too long and somehow leaves concepts unexplored. At the end of every episode I was left unsatified at the lack of exploration into the consequences of prior events: How does Davis feel about the fact that he was raised by two serial killers? etc. I’ll review every episode, but you’ll be able to tell that I on;y really enjoyed two of them...anyway

Joan Is Awful

An average woman is stunned to discover a global streaming platform has launched a prestige TV drama adaptation of her life - in which she is portrayed by Hollywood A-lister Salma Hayek.

By now, I’m sure you’ve heard all kinds of jokey titles like Joan is Awful IS AWFUL, and I’m not here to repeat them. The concept is a little conceited but is pulled back around by the reveal at the end that we are watching one of many realities. Like I mentioned in my overall thoughts, the episodes fails when it comes to expanding on the consequences and how it impacts the characters. for example: imagine being layer 1 Joan and finding out you’re entire existence is fake and you’re actaully the digital likeness of Annie Murphy, that would fuck you up right? But we don’t see how that makes layer 1 Joan feel and I wish we did.

Loch Henry

A young couple travel to a sleepy Scottish town to start work on a genteel nature documentary - but find themselves drawn to a juicy local story involving shocking events of the past.

I can easily see how this and Beyond the Sea would be people’s favourite episodes of the season and, while this one’s up there, it isn’t quite my favourite (we’ll get there). While this episode has one of those gut-wrenching twists akin to The National Anthem and Shut Up and Dance, enough happens after the reveal to distract me and it left me unfullfilled. I also feel like it meanders too much before starting the story proper and then doesn’t set a solid tone. It tries to be scary, then shicking, then emotional but it doesn’t sit with these long enough to quite grasp any of them. 

Beyond the Sea

In an alternative 1969, two men on a perilous high-tech mission wrestle with the consequences of an unimaginable tragedy.

FINALLY WE’RE EXPOUNDING ON THE CONSEQUENCES....sort of. I have the fewest notes on this episode, because it’s the most ‘Black Mirror-y’ of the season. I want to immedietely sing Aaron Paul’s praises, I had no doubt that he was going to deliver on an insane level. Calling back to my overall thoughts, the episode is just too long and I was bored just after the halfway mark; maybe that’s a me problem, maybe that’s the episodes problem.

Mazey Day

A troubled starlet is dogged by invasive paparazzi while dealing with the consequences of a hit-and-run incident.

This was the point in the seasonn where I just about gave up... now I know you’ve seen endless amounts of criticism for this episode and it is entirely warranted. Plainly put, this is not a Black Mirror Episode, this is a rejected Twilight Zone concept and I half expected Rod Serling to start talking as it zoomed out of the diner at the end. I also would have loved to have actually watched the transformation, but it was accompanied by TWO WHOLE MINUTES of flashing lights and I would prefer to not risk hospitalisation when watching a TV show thanks :)

Demon 79

Northern England, 1979. A meek sales assistant is told she must commit terrible acts to prevent disaster.

We have reached my personal favourite episode. Is this a Black Mirror episode? No, it’s an extended Inside No. 9 episode. Did I have a lot of fun watching it? Yes. This episode has some fun humour sprinkled through and the dynamic between Nida and Gaap is great.

[constantviewings]

A (Not So) Weekly Wrap-Up

Oops it’s been a month...anyways!

Knock at the Cabin

While vacationing at a remote cabin, a young girl and her two fathers are taken hostage by four armed strangers who demand that the family make an unthinkable choice to avert the apocalypse. With limited access to the outside world, the family must decide what they believe before all is lost.

Get inside honey, it’s WWE champion Dave Bautistia! This is not what I thought it would be... I went into this ITCHING for a classic M Night twist and that just didn’t happen. Everything was played so straight and seriously that I was left really underwhelmed; like at least make it that the world wasn’t actually ending and it was all for nothing. Also, the crashed plane just saying ‘Australia’ instead of an actual airline is hilarious to me.

Rating: -2

The Super Mario Bros Movie

While working underground to fix a water main, Brooklyn plumbers—and brothers—Mario and Luigi are transported down a mysterious pipe and wander into a magical new world. But when the brothers are separated, Mario embarks on an epic quest to find Luigi.

This is just a really fun movie, the story is simple and the whole movie looks beautiful. I really have two issues: I wish Anya Taylor Joy was doing at least a little bit of a voice and the soundtrack is not great. The choice of liscensed songs is really random and makes it pretty easy to get distracted.

Rating: 3

Death on the Nile

Belgian sleuth Hercule Poirot's Egyptian vacation aboard a glamorous river steamer turns into a terrifying search for a murderer when a picture-perfect couple's idyllic honeymoon is tragically cut short.

I’ll be honest, this movie isn’t anything special. It’s a nice little mystery to kill time but nohting to write home about. The most bonkers part for me is that all of this drama is over who gets to marry Armie Hammer who I think is pretty standard looking... Unfortunately my prediction of ‘never trust a boy mum’ was wrong but oh well.

Rating: 3

[constantviewings]

A (Not So) Weekly Wrap Up

On Tuesday, May 2, the Writers Guild of America began their first strike in 15 years after being refused fair compensation by major studios including, but not limited to, Netflix, Disney and Paramount. I support the WGA and I wouldn’t be able to run this blog without their work. Posts will continue as normal; as irregular they may be.

Dungeons & Dragons: Honour Among Thieves

A charming thief and a band of unlikely adventurers embark on an epic quest to retrieve a long lost relic, but their charming adventure goes dangerously awry when they run afoul of the wrong people.

This movie is just so much fun, I have a very basic understanding of D&D but this is exactly what I imagine a campaign being. You know I’m a sucker for practical effects and they are stunning here and it’s so refreshing to see. I would pretty happily watch a few more installments (but not too many).

Rating: 4

Scream VI

Four survivors of the Ghostface murders leave Woodsboro behind for a fresh start in New York City. However, they soon find themselves in a fight for their lives when a new killer embarks on a bloody rampage.

I love the Scream movies and this is no different. The parallels between this and Scream 2 are so crystal clear that if I was trying to solve it I would have; but that’s not how I watch movies so that wasn’t a problem. The gore is also fantastic, it’s all round a good watch.

Rating: 3

12 Angry Men

The jury in a New York City murder trial is frustrated by a single member whose skeptical caution forces them to more carefully consider the evidence before jumping to a hasty verdict.

This may seem like an odd choice compared to the rest of these movies, but if you know me you know that I live for movies that is just a bunch of people in a room talking. There isn’t really much else to say apart from the fact that this a really good movie.

Rating: 4

[constantviewings]

I’m not a member of the WGA. What I can do to support the strike?

Be informed. Explore the WGA Strike Hub to understand the situation. Be sure to get your information directly from the WGA. If you’re a writer, don’t engage in scab writing.

Located near LA or NY? Join the picket line! The WGA writes “We encourage non-MBA members to show solidarity with their fellow WGA members and join the picket line or rallies.” Be sure to mask up to prevent the spread of COVID. @PreWGAStrike is organizing carpools for LA.

Not located nearby? Be vocal on social media! The WGA writes “We also strongly encourage members to use their social media to support members on strike. You will be able to find graphics in our Social Media Toolkit.” 

The Social Media Toolkit says “Show your support for the WGA on social media using #WGAStrong and #WGAStrike. Tell your personal story, change your profile photo, or use the sample language and graphics [on the toolkit page] to create original posts.”

You can also involve your organization. Use this form to sign on your organization as an endorser of the WGA’s contract campaign and receive WGA updates on campaign developments.

You can also donate to film & tv professionals affected by the strike. If you want to support WGA workers on the picket lines, you can donate to The Snacklist. Funds raised through The Snacklist will be used to deliver hot coffee, food, snacks, and other necessities to strikers in the Los Angeles area.

[constantviewings]

A (Not So) Weekly Wrap-Up

Never expect consistency from me, so the name’s been changed and I’ll update when I remember to (hopefully weekly).

Missing

As you may or may not know, I love Searching but this doesn’t quite hit the mark for me. I was really into the first act, and the twist in the middle is great, but the third act is where it fall apart. There are just a few too many dead ends of ‘maybe it’s this’ and ‘maybe it’s that’ to keep me engaged by the time they revealed the actual story I didn’t care anymore.

Rating: 3

The Batman

Do I really need to say it? Why is this movie three hours long!? To be fair, it doesn’t waste any of that time, but that doesn’t mean that it has to be THREE HOURS LONG. My only other complaint is that it’s lit well, but it’s not well lit; what I mean is that the lighting is gorgeous but I can’t see a damn thing. Apart from those two things, I really enjoyed this movie especially because it’s more of a detective story than a crime fighting vigilante story. Also, I had absolutely no clue that was Colin Farrell as The Penguin; how did this not win any makeup awards?

Rating: 4

Don’t Look Up

I decided to watch this on a whim and it’s pretty good. I didn’t expect to find it as funny as I did and Ariana Grande’s bit part was pretty good.

Rating: 3

Skinamarink

I’ll give it credit where credit is due where the people who like this movie, really like it and say that it’s really good. My problem lies purely with it’s genre, it’s an atmospheric and experiemental film; which I have learnt I don’t like and that’s okay, it is also why I won’t be rating this as it would be unfair. I gues the real Skinamarink is the ceiling we stared along the way...

[constantviewings]

The TV Show Trials - Black Mirror

Black Mirror is a British anthology television series created by Charlie Brooker. Individual episodes explore a diversity of genres, but most are set in near-future dystopias with sci-fi technology.

Is this weeks late? Yes. Do I care? No. Is it even finished? Also, no; but I will update this as I watch what’s left. For this review I decided to switch it up a little bit, I’ve watched the majority of Black Mirror before so instead of just reviewing every episode; I’m ranking them from worst to best.

The Waldo Moment

A failed comedian who voices a popular cartoon bear named Waldo finds himself mixing in politics when TV executives want Waldo to run for office.

It’s very difficult to make audiences care about fictional, local bi-elections and this episode is definitive proof of that. This episode is a major let-down not only as a season finale but being in-between the powerhouses of White Bear and White Christmas. Overall, it’s just a bad episode...

The Entire History of You

In the near future, everyone has access to a memory implant that records everything they do, see and hear. You need never forget a face again - but is that always a good thing?

While the concept is solid, and provides the baseline of technology going forward, the episode itself is too slow to justify its 50 minute runtime. While the stakes feel high, I’m not invested enough in the relationship to feel bad at its demise. Also, I think Charlie Brookers takeaway is bullshit, he thinks it’s Liam’s fault for looking for information that will upset him and that Claire just has ‘secrets’ and ‘still loves him’… she cheated on him while they were trying to have a baby! She’s just as bad as he is.

Men Against Fire

Future soldiers Stripe and Raiman must protect frightened villagers from an infestation of vicious feral mutants.

While not boring, I don’t really care for action and war heavy narratives, the message redeems this episode a lot for me. The idea of war propaganda dehumanising the ‘enemy’ to make it easier to kill them or wish for their death is portrayed to its extreme here.

Be Right Back

After learning about a new service that lets people stay in touch with the deceased, a lonely, grieving Martha reconnects with her late lover.

Another slow episode, but this is better than The Entire History of You because it focuses solely on the relationship and the aftermath of Ash’s death. Hayley Atwell and Domhnall Gleeson absolutely kill it as Martha and Ash; but can we expect any less from them?

Arkangel

After nearly losing her daughter, a mother invests in a new technology that allows her to keep track of her.

I know this episode is pretty divisive and, while I don’t find it particularly entertaining, the concept and discussion that it prompts is worth having. Like, is the Arkangel moral, does some of the footage count as CP, if giving someone emergency contraception against their will a human rights violation? It’s just unfortunate that the discussion surrounding the episode is more entertaining than the episode itself.

Playtest

An American traveler short on cash signs up to test a revolutionary new gaming system, but soon can't tell where the hot game ends and reality begins.

I feel like my reviews are already getting bad, and we’re only six episodes deep… Anyway, this episode is pretty scary, so it does its job as the sole horror episode of the series.

Fifteen Million Merits

In a world where people's lives consist of riding exercise bikes to gain credits, Bing tries to help a woman get on to a singing competition show.

Okay, time to get a little controversial. I think this episode is good, but not great. Daniel Kaluuya is phenomenal, and you can really see how far he’s come while also retaining those trademarks of his performances; especially with his eyes. My problem mainly lies in that it’s only really entertaining in the last half; but I don’t know what I would cut to make it shorter…

Hated in the Nation

In near-future London, police detective Karin Parke, and her tech-savvy sidekick Blue, investigate a string of mysterious deaths with a sinister link to social media.

Once again, another good episode, it’s just too long. I think it’s done a massive disservice by simply being known as ‘the killer bee episode’ because it’s so much more than the bees; but not much more to impress me.

Hang the DJ

Paired up by a dating program that puts an expiration date on all relationships, Frank and Amy soon begin to question the system's logic.

This episode and the next one are pretty evenly matched, I just like this one slightly less. This is mostly because the episode lags in the middle compared to the beginning and end.

San Junipero

When Yorkie and Kelly visit San Junipero, a fun-loving beach town full of surf, sun and sex, their lives are changed.

It’s just a good episode… can you tell I’m getting sick of writing these reviews?

Nosedive

A woman desperate to boost her social media score hits the jackpot when she's invited to a swanky wedding, but the trip doesn't go as planned.

I think this episode is great, especially as the introduction to this ‘new’ phase of Black Mirror on Netflix. Bryce Dallas Howard knocks it out of the park and the concept is great; espacially because it isn’t too dissimilar to how we currently live.

Crocodile

An insurance agent investigates a minor traffic incident using a device that manifests peoples' memories, but one of her witnesses has something to hide.

This is just fucking grim, isn’t it? While this episode is insanely devistating, that’s one of the reasons I rank it so highly, especially because it isn’t afraid for it’s main character to just be an awful and selfish person with no redemption. It’s really great to see.

Black Museum

A woman enters the Black Museum, where the proprietor tells his stories relating to the artifacts.

Where this episode’s strength is in the way they tie each story to each other. It could come across as a slap-dash clip show to fill out the season but those connections in the form of Rolo Hayes takes it beyond into being a great episode.

USS Callister

Capt. Robert Daly presides over his crew with wisdom and courage. But a new recruit will soon discover nothing on this spaceship is what it seems.

I’m going to be completely honest and admit that I was dreading re-watching this episode as I didn’t like it the first time around; but I can confindently say my opinion has changed. It’s way funnier than I had remembered it and Cristin Milioti does a phenomenal job, a stand out scene being the one in the lake.

The National Anthem

Prime Minister Michael Callow faces a shocking dilemma when Princess Susannah, a much-loved member of the Royal Family, is kidnapped.

We all knew this was coming but I bet you weren’t expecting to see it in my top five, were you? I could go on for eons about how this (and the rest of my top five) perfectly encapsulate the soul of Black Mirror as commentary on technology, polotics, and interpersonal conflicts; but you don’t want to hear that, you want to hear my defence. I think this episode is the perfect episode to start the show with, it’s shocking and a bit gross but it hooks you so quickly that you can’t help but watch ‘til the end. And let’s be honest, it’s exactly how society would react to this situation...

White Bear

Victoria wakes up and cannot remember anything about her life. Everyone she encounters refuses to communicate with her, and they all seem to know something she doesn't. But what?

You don’t need me to tell you how good this episode is, the rest of the internet can do that for me...

White Christmas

Three interconnected tales of technology run amok during the Christmas season are told by two men at a remote outpost in a frozen wilderness.

This is another episode where the internet can tell you how great it is, so I want to focus on something different. Like The Entire History of You, I don’t agree with Brooker’s interpretation of the conflict, sure Joe doesn’t seem like the best guy but his partner cheated on him and had another man’s child while blocking him and refusing to work things out like an adult. And while he may be an unreliable narrator, when you don’t give me anything to hint at the reality, I’ve got no choice but to believe the narrator...

Shut Up and Dance

When withdrawn Kenny stumbles headlong into an online trap, he is quickly forced into an uneasy alliance with shifty Hector, both at the mercy of persons unknown.

I’m sure you saw this coming after seeing where I put The National Anthem... I love this episode and and the way it draws you in to care about Kenny until you start thinking ‘the video’s pretty bad, but surely it’s not wirth all this right?’ all the way up to dropping the bombshell on what he was actually doing. And, even on rewatch, that reveal still makes me unbeleivably nauseous.

[constantviewings]

Seven Weeks of Films: 16th November - 13th January

All I’m going to say about this gap is that I worked in retail over the holidays...

Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery

World-famous detective Benoit Blanc heads to Greece to peel back the layers of a mystery surrounding a tech billionaire and his eclectic crew of friends.

We all know how much I love the first Knives Out (it’s one of my top 5) and I try to make a habit of rewatching it at least once a year. This is a great second entry to what I hope is many more Benoit Blanc movies. I don’t love it as much as the first, but it holds up really well in comparison; I watched it three times in five days if that tells you anything... One thing that does disappoint me that I didn’t notice until the credits rolled was that this entry doesn’t have the same film grain effect as Knives Out, whether that is chalked up to a difference in production or for aesthetics of old money vs new money is up to interpretation.

Rating: 5

The Menu

A young couple travels to a remote island to eat at an exclusive restaurant where the chef has prepared a lavish menu, with some shocking surprises.

I only just watched this the other day and, like Glass Onion, I have already watched it twice because of how much I love it. I’ve seen some differing opinions, particularly those criticising the film for taking itself too seriously but isn’t that kind of the point? Mind you, I went in knowing almost nothing outside of the cast and the title which only enhanced my experience. Anya Taylor-Joy is phenomenal as always and is partnered beautifully by Ralph Fiennes and Nicholas Hoult. 

Rating: 5

Get Out

Chris and his girlfriend Rose go upstate to visit her parents for the weekend. At first, Chris reads the family's overly accommodating behavior as nervous attempts to deal with their daughter's interracial relationship, but as the weekend progresses, a series of increasingly disturbing discoveries lead him to a truth that he never could have imagined.

Let’s not talk about how long it took for me to watch this and instead focus on how great it is, which everyone already knows because i’m five years too late...

Rating: 5

Roald Dahl’s Matilda the Musical

An extraordinary young girl discovers her superpower and summons the remarkable courage, against all odds, to help others change their stories, whilst also taking charge of her own destiny. Standing up for what's right, she's met with miraculous results.

I’m a massive fan of both the 1996 movie and the musical that this adaptation is based on so I had somewhat high hopes going into this that were, unfortunately, dashed after the opening song. They cut out basically everything to do with the Wormwoods, including the bother Michael, when they’re songs are the funniest ones. There is also a departure from the original feel of the musical, where the stage show is bright and campy the movie is grimey and depressing; which I find so strange considering the director also directed the original production.

Rating: 3

Don’t Pick Up the Phone

This docuseries follows the investigation into a hoax caller who talked managers into strip-searching employees at fast food businesses across the US.

As we all know, I don’t review or rate documentaries, the synopsis tells you all you need to know, it’s a grim watch.

[constantviewings]

The TV Show Trials - Survivor: Pearl Islands

Survivor places a group of strangers in an isolated location, where they must provide food, fire, and shelter for themselves. The contestants compete in challenges including testing the contestants' physical ability like running and swimming or their mental abilities like puzzles and endurance challenges for rewards and immunity from elimination.

So this is my first time reviewing a reality show and I’m not too sure how to go about it. What I’m going to do is just give some general thoughts as dot points and summarise my thoughts at the end.

I will admit, with any and all reality shows, I take forever to remember the contestants, so I don’t remember anyone who was elimitaed in the first half of the season...

Straight out of the gate, I really liked Rupert. His commitment to helping the tribe and his carefree attitude are really magnetic. I think it’s really admirable that he helped Morgan win their first reward and them not staying with them the full time to enjoy the reward himself is really selfless and no other contestant would have done that.

My mid-season bids to win were Rupert, Ryan O and Andrew and boy was I 100% wrong; but I chalk that up to only now learning how a sucessful Survivor play works.

As much as I hate Jon (I’ll get into that later) the dead Grandma play was incredibly smart while also being the dirtiest tactic.

I wish that Jeff didn’t outline every single action that the survivors need to take in the challenges so that they needed to actually problem solve a little bit. I think it would add a deeper layer to the challenges outside of brute strength and speed.

I feel like Lil was too naive and kind to be on a show like Survivor, she doesn’t want to lie and double-cross people, when that’s the name of the game.

Let’s address the elephant in the room: Jon. My main issue with him isn’t that he’s a villain, but that he’s not entertaining or charismatic enough to be a good villain. I’m not watching him and going, “that’s a cruel but smart play” I’m watching him just be a mysoginist.

Also, him calling out Sandra for riding Rupert’s coattails after he got elimated while sitting comfortably on Burton’s is hilarious.

In the end, I’m glad it was Sandra who won over Lil; she played better and was actually suited for playing Survivor.

My thoughts on Survivor? I think it’s a really good show. Now this wasn’t my first time watching any part of Survivor, I’ve seen episodes here and there growing up but I’d never watched a full season and it is, naturally, a completely different experience; but it’s one I look forward to doing more often.

[constantviewings]

The TV Show Trials - Criminal Minds (Encore)

 Criminal Minds is a police procedural crime drama televisions series that aired on CBS from 2005 to 2020. Criminal Minds revolves around an elite team of FBI profilers who analyse the country’s most twisted criminal minds, anticipating their next movies before they strike again. As the team evolves together, the Behavioural Analysis Unit continues its dedication to using their expertise to pinpoint predators’ motivations and identify their emotional triggers in the attempt to stop them.

Sex, Birth, Death

A vigilante starts killing prostitutes when he feels that his efforts to clean up the city aren't being appreciated. Meanwhile, a young man seeks out Reid to help him understand the murderous urges he has had his whole life and fix them.

This episode is fine, I’m shocked that it’s this high on the list; compared to so many of the other episodes I wathced. My issue is that the reveal of the unsub (who isn’t the boy who reached out to Reid) feels tacked-on and disconnected from the rest of the episode. Apart from that, it’s just a standard episode.

Rating: 3

Lauren

When Prentiss confronts her nemesis, Ian Doyle, and goes missing, JJ is asked by the BAU to help find her and capture Doyle before it is too late.

This is a great episode, what a twist! It’s great to see more of Emilys backstory as one of the more mysterious members of the BAU. My only wish is that she was absent from the show for more than six episodes to really cement her immportance and presence in the team.

Rating: 4

Date Night

A former foe of the BAU returns with very specific demands for Dr. Reid after a father and daughter are kidnapped.

I love the episodes with Cat Adams, and this is no different; the dynamic between Cat and Reid is so great to watch. The scene between Spencer, Cat and Juliette is really good. Also, this is the only episode I’ve watched without Hotch and I will say, the team doesn’t feel complete without him.

Rating: 5

L.D.S.K.

The BAU travels to Des Plaines, Illinois, to assist the search for a sniper before he shoots more people. Meanwhile, Reid fails his firearms qualification exam and is forced to work without a gun, which only makes things worse for him when he and Hotch are both caught up in a life-threatening situation.

This wasn’t my first time watching this episode, but it’s just as satisfying upon rewatch. This episode is similar to Sex, Birth, Death where the unsub feels tacked on after suspecting another person the entire episode, but because the unsub is similar enough it doesn’t feel as egregious.

Rating: 4

The Uncanny Valley

The BAU is called to Atlantic City to profile a suspect with an unusual personal obsession who is abducting certain types of women.

This episode is decent, nothing much else to say. 

Rating: 3

Memoriam

As Reid's investigation of a young boy's murder in Las Vegas continues, he discovers possible connections to his own past, including his parents.

Time for a Reid-centric episode featuring Morgan and Rossi! I like the dynamic of the smaller group and getting more of Reid’s childhood. But, like some other episodes, the ending feels disconnected from the episodes natural conclusion.

Rating: 3

Minimal Loss

After Prentiss and Reid go undercover to investigate alleged child abuse at the compound of an underground cult in La Plata County, Colorado, they are taken hostage by the cult leader, Benjamin Cyrus, when a state police raid on the fortress goes disastrously wrong.

First of all, Luke Perry!? Second of all, this episode is great. The tension of Emily and Spencer being inside the compound is sustained through the entire episode, keeping you on edge. 

Rating: 4

True Genius

The BAU travels to San Francisco when a series of murders leads the team to believe the possibility that the elusive "Zodiac Killer" might have returned. Meanwhile, Reid contemplates his own genius capabilities after he and Prentiss attend a seminar on violent crime hosted by the crime novelist Patricia Cornwell.

I’m going to be completely honest and tell you that this episode is so forgettable. It’s not a bad episode, just insignificant.

Rating: 3

Mayhem

After a bomb explodes an SUV in New York City that might be carrying a BAU member, the team goes into high gear to determine who might have been injured in the explosion and to apprehend the terrorists responsible for the mayhem.

This episode is exactly what it says on the tin; it is non-stop tension. The episode flows really well and comes to a satisfying conclusion. This is one of the best episodes I wathced this month.

Rating: 5

To Hell/And Back

After a man in Detroit reveals evidence to several suspected disappearances that may be connected, the BAU is called to help track down the serial killer who is responsible. During the investigation, they are forced into Canada to catch him.

From one great episode, to a pair of great episodes. I have no clue how these managed to rank lower than a lot of the episodes above them but, in my opinion, they deserve to be much higher. They are definitely a tough watch, but well worth it for the quality.

Rating: 5

The Lesson

The BAU investigates a serial killer who oddly disposes his victims in Arizona. Also, Reid gets anxious when faced with the possibility of meeting his mystery woman.

This is another episode that’s a little hard to watch, but is well worth it. Brad Dourif is a welcome addition as the unsub and the actors who played the ‘puppets’ have amazing physicality.

Rating: 4

Pleasure is my Business

The BAU is called to Dallas to investigate when a serial killer lures and kills high-powered executives by posing as a high-class call girl.

I don’t really remember much from this episode, it’s pretty standard.

Rating: 2

Elephant’s Memory

The BAU is called to West Bune, a small town located in Texas, to investigate what appears to be increasingly violent spree killings that involve a teenage boy. As the team continues investigating, Reid finds himself personally and emotionally involved in the case.

While this is a pretty standard episode, what sets it apart is the dynamic between Morgan and Reid where they both relate to the unsub in one way or another; with Reid stepping in to save the unsub at the last minute.

Rating: 3

The Replicator

The Replicator zeroes in on the BAU when the killer targets one of the team as the next victim. The team must now struggle against his endgame as the stakes grow higher.

While I lacked context for the story arc of the Replicator, this is still a pretty good episode with Mark Hamill, of all people, playing the Replicator.

Rating: 3 (I’m sure it’s much better with context)

Derek

When Morgan is abducted, the BAU scrambles to find him and save his life.

It’s about time I watched a Derek centered episode! This made me cry so much it’s not funny. A great episode all-round.

Rating: 5

[constantviewings]

Seven Days of Films: 19 - 25 November

The Polar Express

When a doubting young boy takes an extraordinary train ride to the North Pole, he embarks on a journey of self-discovery that shows him that the wonder of life never fades for those who believe.

It’s finally time for Christmas movies! (I’ve actually been watching them for weeks, but didn’t want to admit it) This is one that I didn’t watch much as a kid, I think the CGI creeped me out, but I’ve come to love as I’ve grown up; which I think is quite apt due to it being about believing in the magic of Christmas.

Rating: 4

Barbie in A Christmas Carol

On Christmas Eve, Kelly is reluctant to go to a Christmas Eve ball, so Barbie tells her the story of Eden Starling, a glamourous singing diva in the Victorian England and the owner of a theatre house. However, Eden is self-centred and loves only herself. She is frequently accompanied by her snooty cat, Chuzzlewit. She does not believe in Christmas and orders all her employees to work on Christmas.

This is my favourite Christmas movie, hands down. Purely for the nostalgia, but also because it’s just so much fun! The special features on the DVD has a mini feature about the 2008 holiday Barbie (who is modelled after Barbie in this movie) and I became obsessed. I never got a holiday barbie until I was 19, but by random chance, I found the 2008 holiday Barbie at an antique fair and couldn’t let her go; childhood dream fulfilled!

Rating: 5

[constantviewings]

Seven Days of Films: 12 - 18 November

Capturing the Killer Nurse

Capturing the Killer Nurse is a 2022 documentary film about serial killer Charles Cullen and how investigators were able to prove how Cullen was killing patients while working in hospitals and a nursing home as a nurse in the United States.

Now, I know there’s an Eddie Redmayne movie that fictionalises this story, but I have no interest in watching that so I watched this instead. It’s pretty good and it is insane how he got away with this for so long.

Keep Sweet, Pray and Obey

In interviews and rare home video footage, ex-FLDS members share the truth about their isolated community — and the events that pushed them to leave.

[constantviewings]

Seven Days of Films: 5 - 11 Nov

Selena Gomez: My Mind & Me

After years in the limelight, Selena Gomez achieves unimaginable stardom. But just as she reaches a new peak, an unexpected turn pulls her into darkness. This uniquely raw and intimate documentary spans her six-year journey into a new light.

Selena Gomez’s career is one that i’ve passively followed, and I had a vague idea of what the last few year has been for her. But this documentary really opened my eyes to so much more of her, defintaly worth a watch.

Rating: 3

Weird: The Al Yankovic Story

The unexaggerated true story about the greatest musician of our time. "Weird Al" Yankovic rebels and makes his dream of changing the words to world-renowned songs come true. An instant success and sex symbol, Al lives an excessive lifestyle and pursues an infamous romance that nearly destroys him.

This is maybe one of the strangest movies i’ve watched, but in the best way possible. I don’t know anything, really, about Weird Al but the absurdity of this movie just makes so much sense and is a great watch. 

Rating: 3