constip8merm8

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It's that time of the year, flower whores.

I would like to say that bunnies are a real menace and they have used my tulip garden as a salad bar. But nonetheless. Here's some flower porn.

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I think these are called scrambled eggs bc they look like scrambled eggs.

11 may 2022

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Flower sex bits

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Captain's log, star date 6 May 2022

The tulips are doing terribly. I'm so ashamed of them.

While these are very pretty and they look like they are doing well, they are not the ones that I thought I planted. I'm delighted and confused at the same time.

These are doing moderately well, year after year. Its their third year and they are not declining as someone told me they would.

But that tulip bed that I spent so much time planting last year? I've neglected it so badly and this year's growth is really very shameful. I'll get pictures tomorrow. It's hardly grown at all.

AND NO BLACK PARROT TULIPS. I mean wtf, they are my favourite and this year, None. I thought I planted a bunch? My brain is like a sieve.

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Captain's log, star date 2 May 2022

Peonies part ii

Here are some that have opened.

They are huge. My hand is for scale.

I'm going to cut one and put it in my bedroom bc I love it so much and I think it'll be the most wonderful thing to see first thing in the morning.

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Captain's log star date 1 May 2022.

Peonies.

I did something good by doing something bad. I pruned hard the peonies last year. Remember, they were really tall and gangly? They get to top heavy that they fall over. Stupid plants.

This year, this is what happened :

This peony was cut down to the stump by my gardener two years ago, bc he didn't know what he was doing. Luckily, he did it a favour bc it came back really healthy and such thick stems last year. It didn't flower bc it was trying to revive itself. Understandable. This year, see the buds? I'm excited for these to flower.

I cut this peony down to the stump last year bc it was just too tall and gangly and wasn't producing many flowers. It had 1-2, which wasn't very many. So I pruned it hard. And now look at how healthy it is. No flowers this year bc it's trying not to die.

I didn't cut this one down to the stump even though I was supposed to. I think I chickened out and thought I was killing it so I left one stem medium long. That's the thing that is flowering. It shouldn't be flowering this year, but due to my error, it flowers. Now, do I prune it hard again?

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Captain's log star date 25 April 2022 (I forgot to publish)

It's been a year. I am still the laziest non garden-Er I know. I buy bulbs and plant them at the last possible minute. Sometimes I cram way too many into a pot, like cookies in my mouth. It doesn't end well. They don't grow well. And in some part of my brain, I know, but the rest of my brain doesn't care. I'm hoping that I can replant them next year and they'll.... Do better? Eternal optimism + supreme laziness.

This variety, I love. Don't know the name, which is bad bc I can't order more.

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Anyone know what this is? It looks like a triffid.

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Studies by Krenz Cushart

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“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Marasmius Haematocephalus🍄

Source: mushroom__mama_official on IG

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“If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.”

— C.S. Lewis

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“I always remember having this fight with a random dude who claimed that ‘straight white men’ were the only true innovators. His prime example for this was the computer… the computer… THE COMPUTER!!! THE COM-PU-TER!!!

Alan Turing - Gay man and ‘father of computing’ Wren operating Bombe - The code cracking computers of the 2nd world war were entirely run by women Katherine Johnson - African American NASA mathematician and ‘Human computer’ Ada Lovelace - arguably the 1st computer programmer”

- Sacha Coward

Also Margaret Hamilton - NASA computer scientist who put the first man on the moon - an as-yet-unmatched feet of software engineering, here pictured beside the full source of that computer programme. #myhero

Grace Hopper - the woman that coined the term “bug”  

- @robinlayfield

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Have a great day.

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Omg I need these. Tell me they are low maintenance bc I can't grow anything except mold.

irises are bizarre alien lifeforms whose existence causes me constant distress

these are the alien spores we were warned about why oh why didn’t we listen

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NeSpoon is a Polish artist, born in Warsaw, who mixes the delicacy of lace with the roughness and freedom of urban art