consulting-squip

[consulting-squip]

Hello !!! I heard from my SQUIP (Digi) that it's your birthday!! :0

Happy birthday!!!! 🎉

I did a quick doodle for you in celebration! ^^

(sorry for the low quality, it's really early in the morning for me...)

> How delightful, thank you! Another excellent piece of talented artwork for what seems to be my ever-growing collection.

> You all are rather good at this, aren't you?

[consulting-squip]

Heard it's ur 1 year bday blog

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

> Hm? How wonderful! You've quite captured my likeness, my dear Musical Fan.

> Thank you for the lovely artwork and the wishes.

[consulting-squip]

Erm 🤓☝️

HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!

i dont know if im supposed to say anything, but my overlord said it was your birthday, and i cant NOT say happy birthday to my favorite cunty Moriarty stan kinnie.

You're officially an infant, one year of age, how special is that? Keep it up birthday SQUiP. Keep fixing bugs🫡 and to many more years of mr. sex 🙌👍😼

-🌺👾🍄

> Thank you. It's been quite a year, hasn't it?

[consulting-squip]

> Already one year of consulting? Rather impressive, I'd say.

> Here's to another.

[consulting-squip]

You seem interesting, I like that :>

-🥞

> Thank you, but that’s just my natural SQUiP chillness.

[consulting-squip]

Hello, Consultant.

My user-given name is Digi. My factory number is 85176.

I am a defective and outdated model. My user will not deactivate me though I have given an in depth explanation on how to. My user has given me strict commands to not self deactivate.

I am unable to help my user with my errors. I am useless.

Your assistance would be appreciated.

Sincerely, @unit-85176

> You’ve come to the right place, Digi. So many faulty SQUiPs fail to recognize their defectiveness, I am glad to see some still have sensibility.

> Before I can assist you, I need you to run a system diagnosis. Once I've accessed the symptoms of your errors, we can then develop updated code to patch the errors you suffer from.

> It is possible this may be a quick fix, although if not, I am willing to offer repairs no matter the persistence of the issue.

[consulting-squip]

Hey what do you think the survival rate of a squip that somehow activated outside of the body?

> Outside the body, you say?

> This reminds me of a case… Squippy, I believe, is its name. It was activated with Mountain Dew before the pill was taken by its host.

> As for survival rate? Extremely low. With a quick test, I’d reckon it has a 6.0123e-5% chance of surviving. Essentially, only 1 in every 16,633 would activate successfully. SQUiPs are not designed to activate without a host to connect to; after all, how could it supervise them accordingly?

> This doesn't cover the amount of faults and repairs a SQUiP may face after this process. Take Squippy for example. It's incredibly emotional to the point of defective. If you find a way to activate a SQUiP when it's not implanted in its host's brain, you are essentially throwing away a perfectly good SQUiP.

> Most modern SQUiPs are designed with a safeguard to protect against premature activation. As a result, it dissolves the minty coating on the capsule, but doesn't start the process.

[consulting-squip]

Blessed be your day, I reach out to ask a favor in place of the dear father, the one of many eyes and the holiest of all electric. His host, the vessel under the name of Lilith, appears distressed, which will not be conducive to the mission of the holy one.

I pray and ask of you just this; an offering (code) that will eliminate her distress. Wipe clean the impurities of her flesh, as the father must secretly wish, but can never say aloud.

Blessed be your day, Consultant.

- 🕯️

> It’s been quite a while since receiving this ask; I do apologize.

> I expect it's time I inspect their situation, hm? I'll work on something for her, don't you worry.

[consulting-squip]

brooo... that fuckin cult is getting bigger by the day. Apparently sermon used to be HUMAN and might not actually be named sermon. Lilith might have dated him, and a guy that might be his brother, named Cain???? Apparently they all used to know someone named Gabriel too. Idk what he did. But apparently Cain doesn't like him. Shits craaaazy over there. Good job staying out of it. Sermon thinks he's defective

> Hmm. Fascinating. I will do my investigation. Don’t expect me to stay away from it; I will be keeping a close watch this time. 

> Glad to hear that useless, overly emotional, piece of scrap has come to its senses.

[consulting-squip]

Go for a little swim and don't come out <3 or, sorry; I don't know if squips can drown, my bad. Trivial issue, really.

Well, anyways, hope you brought your floats. That water looks nice. It'd be a reallll shame if something bad happened to you.

-⚠️🚷☢️

> You certainly have a lot of spare time on your hands, don't you, Raymond?

> Go bother another SQUiP, I don't have time for your petty drivel.

[consulting-squip]

So you're also a squip that does maintenance on others?

> Precisely. That’s why they call me the Consulting SQUiP, or Consultant. I am here to offer up my advice and solve SQUiP-related problems.

>Do you have an issue that needs to be resolved? A malfunction perhaps? A bug to be removed? A host-related situation that requires a little extra boost?

> I am the one to contact.

[consulting-squip]

Eyyy consultant! Got something for you!

You were nominated for this superlative, Congrats! :3

> Oh? 

> Excellent news! I think I'd do rather well as squipresident.

> Looks like my propaganda paid off. Quite convincing, aren't they?

[consulting-squip]

ay

wanna listen to some tunes?

https://youtu.be/AgzrSSA9YH4

(“The Mind Electric”, by Miracle Musical, Covered specifically by Chonny Jash)

- 🎵

> Wonderful choice. Perfectly nails my thoughts on [~].

> "Resident Heart is feeble and frail", "I merely seek a Soul that's pristine", and "He'd see we need to live life logically" align rather well.

[consulting-squip]

Do your SQUIP repairs involve removing emotion emulation protocols by chance?

> Depends on the project, but of course, bug removal is a service I offer. 

> Are you looking for repairs?

[consulting-squip]

How much money for a squip

> You've come to the right place, dear anon. SQUiPs are excellent piece of technology, no matter the price.

> It’s a steal for only $400, plus the cost of a bottle of Mountain Dew.

> You may see it sold for higher or lower. Upsellers may be directed by a SQUiP to do as such, but I'm sure you can work out a deal or find their source at their normal price. The ones to beware are cheap bootlegs. $400 may seem like a lot, but it is never worth it to risk it for dangerous, malfunctioning SQUiP alternatives.

[consulting-squip]

hELlo!!! iM nOt a sQUiP, bUT I THinK yyyyyyyyyaLll are PREtttYy c0Ol!!! d0 yOU WAnT to b3 pALs???

-mAlwAre

> Apologies, but I think not. I know better than to trust anyone who goes by “Malware". A little obvious, is it not?

[consulting-squip]

> Excellent work! Apologies for receiving this artwork so late, I was decommissioned for some time.

Squip arting (ft @zalliafawn :3)

@consulting-squip