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contratosexual · 2 years ago

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Findom Fetish

Today I want to talk a little bit more about the fetish and what exactly it is to me. I've seen some recent discussions regarding it that I've been extremely unhappy with and find disrespectful honestly.

Findom is the shortened form of financial domination, the fetish can be carried out in a few different ways. The most strict form of the fetish is when the Dominant controls all finances and gives the submissive a set allowance BUT also makes sure the submissive's bills are paid. Consider Jane Jetson taking the wallet instead of the allowance George offers, if you don't understand the reference you're far too young and we can catch up on some iconic shows from the past. There is the act of tributes, tithing, and gifting. This is where the submissive gives gifts or just sends money to be of service. Tithing is when a set amount of each pay check is sent to the Dominant. Debt contracts are also a form of financial domination where the sub agrees to pay off x amount of money to the Dominant. While financial domination is a valid and well fun fetish there is always room for abuse and both Dominants and submissive need to be aware.

Recently I've seen where findom is regarded as a "luxury" fetish and submissives should not be praised for smaller tributes. I find this really disrespectful. No fetish is a luxury, privilege, or even a right. You don't need fetish you just want to enjoy it. Which more power to you. However I disagree with that statement. Even smaller gifts should be appreciated and celebrated because the submissives in this fetish want to feel like that have made a difference for their Dominant, they want to feel a rush from their gifting. It could possibly be that a small amount is all they can afford and rather than treating themselves they choose of their own volition to treat a Dominant, which is great. It's the whole point of this fetish.

For myself personally because I identify as asexual I don't give a fuck about your dick nor your ability to nut. However with this fetish I can reach a high just as good as an orgasm when gifted continously or in large sums. Financial domination in my opinion is also about reciprocation. Domination is a lot of emotional and mental labor that isn't seen outside of the scene, I do a lot of behind the scenes work to create the content and custom videos you see and some receive. Being gifted, tipped, and tributed is how you can show appreciation for what I give to you. In return I'll also be appreciative of what you give and I'll praise the submissive if they are into that. Some so enjoy being bullied into it which I also enjoy, I can be incredibly cruel while taking from you however you'll still feel great about it. We have a thin line to walk.

Financial domination is a fetish built upon gratitude in my opinion. The submissive is grateful and appreciative of the time and attention from their Dominant that they choose to give to ease the burden of the Dominant. In return the Dominant shouldn't be sneering in the face of the submissive and demanding for things outside of the ability of the submissive. You the submissive work hard for your money it matters and a Dominant should be respectful of the fact that your physical labor is going to afford them a fetish.

If you disagree let's talk. I'm open to conversation regarding your feelings on the matter. Be an adult about it and be mature though.

Remember we are striving to advocate for and promote healthy and happy fetish based relationships. Kinks should always be acted out in a safe, sane, and consensual manner. As always the inbox is open for questions, comments, and conversation. Don't hesitate to reach out!

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contratosexual · 2 years ago

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contratosexual · 2 years ago

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The First 150 Rules

Sorry I haven’t posted much lately, I’ve been real busy with a summer class. But I’m back and I have a treat for all you sissy sluts. Many of you have been requesting an actual list of the rules, so here is a list of the first 150 words

Rule#1: A sissy does not have a cock. A sissy has a clitty Rule#2: A sissy wears a bra and panties Rule#3: A sissy loves cock Rule#4: A sissy loves cum Rule#5: A sissy takes it in the ass Rule#6: A sissy loves pink Rule#7: A sissy loves her toys Rule#8: A sissy dresses like a slut Rule#9: A sissy shares Rule#10: Sissies love facials Rule#11: A sissy must have a tight ass Rule#12: A sissy must have perfect bimbo makeup Rule#13: A sissy grows big fake tits Rule#14: A sissy is a pro cock sucker Rule#15: One is not enough Rule#16: A sissy belongs on her knees Rule#17: A sissy doesn’t forget to practice Rule#18: Sissies swallow Rule#19: A sissy begs for it Rule#20: A sissy will fuck anywhere Rule#21: Sissies love to plug Rule#22: Every sissy dreams of being a bimbo Rule#23: Cum is your reward Rule#24: You are a tool used to please cock. Every cock. Rule#25: You prefer Big Black Dick Rule#26: Sissies love garters and stockings Rule#27: Sissies love a good gloryhole Rule#28: A sissy loves the taste of her own cum Rule#29: Woman is superior to sissy Rule#30: A sissy doesn’t have a boyfriend, a sissy has a master(Daddy) Rule#31: A sissy doesn’t have a girlfriend, a sissy has a mistress Rule#32: Sissies bend over Rule#33: Sissies love heels Rule#34: Sissies can’t forget to tuck their clitty Rule#35: A sissy’s ass is always on display Rule#36: Cute panties are essential Rule#37: Sissies wear tight leggings to attract men to their ass Rule#38: A sissy doesn’t neglect the balls Rule#39: A sissy has no butthole, a sissy has a pussy Rule#40: A sissy does not jerk her cock. A sissy cums only from getting her ass fucked Rule#41: A sissy has two holes, both should be put to use Rule#42: Paint your face to look like a whore Rule#43: Work out to keep your sexy sissy bod fit Rule#44: Expose your thong so that they know that its on Rule#45: A sissy’s body is smooth and shaven all over Rule#46: A sissy’s body is always for sale Rule#47: Cum is not to be wasted Rule#48: Sissies don’t think. Sissies do as they’re told Rule#49: A sissy’s mouth is not made for talking Rule#50: Sissies love to be degraded Rule#51: Big black cock is a delicacy and should be treated as such Rule#52: Sissies love playtime Rule#53: Sissies take every inch Rule#54: Sissies always dress slutty when they go out. So they always get fucked Rule#55: Panties are only removed for cock Rule#56: No skirt is too short Rule#57: Sissies wear bikinis Rule#58: The only use a sissy has for a condom, is slurping up Daddy’s cum Rule#59: Wear a black bra, so they know you’re naughty Rule#60: Sissies fuck outdoors Rule#61: Pink is to be worn as a badge of sissy pride Rule#62: Never say no to cock Rule#63: You’re not a person, you’re a sissy fuck toy Rule#64: A sissy doesn’t jerk her clitty. She fucks both her holes while rubbing her clitty like a dirty girl Rule#65: Send pics of yourself to cute boys, let them know you’re a dirty slut Rule#66: Sissies sit when they pee Rule#67: Sissies love a nice gang bang Rule#68: Pink panties alone will not make you a sissy. You must have the body and mind of a true sissy slut Rule#69: Sissies play with eachother Rule#70: Cum is essential in a sissy’s daily diet Rule#71: Sissies are whores that don’t earn a thing. Sissies give everything to their Daddy or Mistress Rule#72: Sissies are property that can be bought or sold Rule#73: Wear stockings and stilettos Rule#74: Sissies tuck their clitty into pantyhose Rule#75: Paint your lips, make them a bright red target for cock Rule#76: Sissies love bukkake Rule#77: Every sissy has a little black dress Rule#78: Your sissy ass was made to take big dicks Rule#79: Sissies wear make up to look like perfect little Bimbo Fuck Dolls Rule#80: Sissies wear sexy lingerie to bed Rule#81: Sissies love giving roadhead Rule#82: Sissies eat ass Rule#83: Sissies love to feel the bulge of a hard cock Rule#84: Sissies always say yes Rule#85: Always keep eye contact Rule#86: Grow your hair long so men have something to grab while they pound your ass Rule#87: Sissies are punished when they misbehave Rule#88: Sissies don’t mind getting kinky Rule#89: Strap-ons should always be treated as if they were real cocks Rule#90: A sissy’s legs are always open Rule#91: A sissy always showers with her daddy Rule#92: Sissies don’t try to hide their panties, they proudly present them for all to see Rule#93: A dildo is a sissy’s best friend Rule#94: A sissy’s pants should always be skin tight Rule#95: Work your sissy ass, so it can handle being fucked on a daily basis Rule#96: Sissies wear yoga pants because they know how good their ass looks Rule#97: Find some sissy friends. Go out and get fucked together Rule#98: Real women don’t enjoy being groped, but sissies don’t mind at all Rule#99: All a sissy needs to know is how to please a cock Rule#100: Be a good girl Rule#101: A sissy can never have enough shoes Rule#102: A sissy’s breath always smells like cock Rule#103: Sissies proudly buy their lingerie in the store Rule#104: Sissies find a way to dress sexy even when it’s cold Rule#105: Sissies eat their own cum to remind themselves that they are no longer a man Rule#106: Sissies love eating pussy only when they get to lap up the Alpha cum dripping from inside Rule#107: Sissies bounce up and down on real men’s long hard cocks Rule#108: Sissies love to finger their own asshole Rule#109: Sissies wear panties when they run their clitty Rule#110: A sissy always says please and thank you Rule#111: Sissies read girly magazines Rule#112: If cum isn’t leaking from your gaping asshole, you’re not done yet Rule#113: Look cute when you look for cock Rule#114: Sissies love wearing crotchless panties Rule#115: Every sissy wants a black daddy Rule#116: Sissies don’t fuck women, women fuck sissies Rule#117: Sissies don’t want to be normal girls, sissies want to be bimbo fuck dolls Rule#118: A sissy needs no help putting on a bra Rule#119: Wear a tight thong when you plug your boi pussy Rule#120: Never be afraid of a huge cock, you must worship it as you do every cock Rule#121: Forget about boxers, sissies wear pretty pink panties Rule#122: Sissies like it rough Rule#123: Drop those panties when Daddy says so Rule#124: Every sissy needs someone to teach them to suck cock Rule#125: A sissy should never run out of her bras and panties Rule#126: Wear a crop top, make all the boys stare Rule#127: Sissies love the feeling of a tight corset hugging their body Rule#128: Sissies always go out with the intention of getting fucked Rule#129: A sissy’s ass needs to be trained to take big cocks Rule#130: Cum dumpster is not an insult it’s your occupation Rule#131: Sissies get fake tits so they can be fucked in a whole new way Rule#132: Transform yourself into a perfect bimbo pin-up girl Rule#133: Desperate for a good fucking? Pick your phone up Sissy, make a booty call Rule#134: Always treat the balls with extra care, after all, that’s wear your treat is made Rule#135: Sissies don’t wear lingerie to seduce men, sissies wear lingerie because it makes them feel feminine Rule#136: Sissies love to feel their big fake tits supported by a tight bra Rule#137: You can always find a way to practice sucking cock Rule#138: A sissy is content with the size of her clitty, its small size reminds her that she is not a man Rule#139: Study real women, take notes Rule#140: Cum is not to be wiped away and disposed of, it is to be worn with pride Rule#141: Always look as cute as can be when you go out shopping Rule#142: When you see a cute boy make that booty pop Rule#143: No cock is too big for a sissy like you Rule#144: Always be ready for Daddy when he comes home Rule#145: Your job is to help him with his real job Rule#146: Every sissy wants to be owned by a big black man with a big black cock Rule#147: Sissies love to wear matching lingerie Rule#148: Keep your clitty and boi pussy clean and shaven Rule#149: A sissy works out like a girl Rule#150: Sissies don’t get to fuck anyone, sissies get fucked by everyone

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contratosexual · 2 years ago

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Another single female tourist goes missing…

Lauren shivered, her naked body spread and held fast in a series of ropes. She glanced around despairingly, whimpering in fear as she waited for his return. The clomping of heavy boots behind her made her gagged whimpers and snotty nasal breathing increase in rate and volume.

She heard him kick her small suitcase to the side. He was still wondering whether to burn it or bury it. “What do you think slut, should I burn your fuckin things or bury them? It’s not like you will ever need them again.” He commented with a deep sarcastic baritone laugh.

He picked up the UK passport lying on the floor near the contents spilling out of a purse. He scanned thru it and noted her name, as if he would ever actually call her that after today, he chuckled to himself.

He then walked around to the head of the old stained and discoloured single mattress. It was perched on an old box spring and basic steel bed frame. The bed assembly creaked and groaned every time its unwilling occupant tried to move.

He stooped down, grabbed a hand full of her matted hair and wrenched the poor girl’s mascara and tear stained face upwards. He held the passport down in front of her face and then joked, “Too bad I don’t have a stamp for “The Republic of Pain Slut Hell”, to put in your lovely little book, eh Lauren?”

“We could note it as, ’Your last place ever travelled to’, and pin it to your cell wall over there in the corner. Give you a nice reminder over the coming years of how far you have come.”

Lauren moaned around the obtrusive gag rammed into her mouth and he watched as her terrified eyes glanced over to the small tight space built into the brick basement wall. It had a solid steel door, currently hinged open. And a sliding bookcase that could easily move in front of the entrance to disguise that the tiny room ever existed.

He shook her head violently about, with his powerful grip, to get her to look back at him, “Hey dumb ass …eyes up here!…Your new owner wants to see those pretty eyes of yours before I hide them away for a week or two. A little sensory deprivation welcome to your new life as my sweet fuck toy!”

Lauren’s eyes went huge as he said this and she watched him pick a white metal case off the floor. He shoved it in front of her horrified face. His smile broadening as he watched her reaction to the handwritten words, written above the scratched out ones on the metal front.

“Funny eh, cunt… So every time you hear or see this case, just know things are about to get nasty….for you!” He laughed.

He stood towering over her, watching her scream futilely around that bulbous throat choking gag. She was gagging and sobbing, and thrashing uselessly at the myriad loops of ropes he had tied to her body. She would do anything at this point to be free of this place and free of him. She wanted to beg, to plead for her freedom, but her voice was choked off, just pitiful unintelligible noises were all she was capable of making.

‘Why had he done this? Would he let her go? Why did he have her tied up so horribly? Was he going to hurt her more?’ All things she did and didn’t want to know.

She felt him dig his fingers into her hair again, and he tugged and wrenched her head up. Lauren’s frightened and growingly defeated eyes, looking up mournfully into his.

“You goin to be a good little cock sucking bitch if I take this gag out? You gonna suck my cock and eat my cum bitch?” he growled,

“Or do I keep doing really painful things to ya…like this.” He added as he picked up the little one button switch box, he had wired into a car battery on the floor. It was wired to the two clamps currently snapped on and crushing her delicate nipples, all squashed into the mattress under the weight of her own body.

Lauren’s anguished nipples were throbbing in pain from just the pinching action of the clamps, not to mention the rope tied tight around her right breast and the wooden bar clamp device crushing her left tit mercilessly. All early additions to the restrictive mind boggling uncomfortable bondage he had put her in, as she slowly came out of her drugged state.

Her last clear memory of her first trip to the US, being of climbing into a plain grey uber at LAX. Then many foggy dream like memories came to her, of a hulking brutal man, painful tight ropes, a deep penis like gag passing her lips, and the coolness of the air on her naked body as she was stripped bare.

Her drugged mind unable to comprehend what was happening, until she was fully strapped down and he was straddling her thighs. His cock buried in her sex and his hips pounding into her ass, as she slowly came too in horrific realization.

Still gripping her hair with one hand, he deftly pulled his long thick cock from his jeans, while still holding the button. “Well cunt, what’s the fucking answer….You gonna suck my cock and swallow all my cum like a good little cum whore.?

Lauren furiously tried to nod. The movement hurting her scalp, as he still had a secure white knuckle grip on her hair. And then she felt the charge hit her nipples, again…and then again…and again. Her body seized and thrashed uncontrollably in its ropes. There was a high-pitched noise emanating from her throat, a cacophony of disturbing noise, equal to the pain ravaging her crushed tits.

The pain stopped and she realized he was laughing thunderously as she sobbed and shook.

“Sorry about that sweetheart, but you were flailing about so much and making those fuckin awesome pig squealing noises….Well I just couldn’t help myself. So you ready to suck your owner’s big dick?”

She raised her head and nodded again. Her eyes pleading with him to not to do that again. Not to run an excruciating charge of current thru her poor tortured tits. She wanted to suck his cock…to swallow his cum, to please him to no end, so that this hellish pain could end.

“Good little slut…Glad you know what the fuck you are now!” he said grinning and reaching around to undo the latch on her gag strap. He noticed her shoulders release for a second, the tension of her predicament easing slightly as he slowly pulled the long saliva covered gag out of her mouth and she worked to move her sore jaws.

His cock jutted straight out and he shivered in anticipation himself. He moved his hips steadily closer to her anguished terrified face. The head of his penis touched her open lips and he watched her lips purse and her chin quiver. “Your ready to suck for your life bitch?”

To his surprise she not only nodded, but spoke, “Yes sir. Let me suck you please, please… Let me please you and then..then ..you will untie me?” Her eyes glancing up, in an all too hopeful manner, as she stammered out her request, her hope…

He grinned down on her and at the same time slipped his cock in between her soft plump lips, “We’ll see bitch…..we’ll see. Now fuckin suck away and drain my balls, you sweet fuckin foreign whore.”

….A while later….His balls drained twice into her slobbering mouth….

“Hahaha…you stupid fuckin cunt. Boy you are one gullible dumb whore.” His taunting laughter filled the room over her muffled screams. Lauren was going nuts trying, thrashing and trying to free herself. She had done what he had said, twice. The taste of his semen still coating her mouth. Even with her underwear now balled up and stuffed in there, it was all she could taste.

She had tried to spit it out, but then the world went dark as he pulled some sort of hood over her head. She panicked as she felt him wrap a length of rope around her neck, three times and then knot it tight.

Hyperventilating and crying her eyes out in behind the hood, her fear only grew worse as she felt something tight around the hood at her mouth level. It effectively pushed the hood in tight to her lipa and kept her spoiled soggy panties from being ejected. Then she heard a long zzippp noise! and the tension around her head and mouth multiplied exponentially.

The corners of Lauren’s mouth felt like they were being cut into, even with the leather hood on. A few last zip/click noises made her realize that her sick captor had just ziptied the hood tight around her head. She groaned pitifully in her dark stifling prison. Making additional whimpering noises as she felt him stroking her bare arms and legs with his rough hands and the leather belt he tossed on the bed earlier.

The belt trailed down over her back, over her ass and then down the back of her right leg. As it approached her knee, Lauren felt it lift off her skin. With the leather hood on, the sound of the belt swooshing thru the air was nullified. So poor Lauren’s body, while trembling in fear, was still not as tense as it could be.

The impending CRACK as the belt impacted the back of her soft upper thigh, made her entire body spasm. Every muscle jerked to stiffness as the pain shot thru her. Her muffled scream of shock and agony still ringing out fairly loud, for a girl with a panty stuffed mouth and a leather hood over her head.

He raised the belt up high again and brought his arm down with a satisfying grunt. A grunt echoed by a flesh breaking crack, and Lauren’s pitiful howls. Her thigh was on fire as she heard him say, “Hmmm that was fun cunt? Let’s try this one out!”

In the dark she could not see what he had picked up. She just tensed every muscle in her body, waiting to be hit, waiting to hear the ‘CRACK’, waiting to feel the excruciating pain of being whipped. It came quickly and her gagged wail was followed instantly by more, more and more.

He swung the bamboo cane thru the air with abandon. Every strike of her once pristine skin causing a linear red welt to blossom across her skin. He hit her thighs just a couple more times and was now working his way down to her trapped right foot. The first strike across the ball of her foot causing her the most anguish yet.

A half dozen more lashings he delivered to her tender exposed foot. Each horrendous crack of the cane was followed by Lauren’s whole body jumping futilely against the ropes trapping her. Her hands fisting and scratching at the mattress for relief.

“Now then cunt, let’s attend to that beautiful full ass of yours…shall we!” he roared. Shifting his attention to her right ass cheek. Almost cumming again in his trousers, at the sight of her useless thrashing about and the sound of her muted howls ringing in his ears, as he delivered strike after strike across her bottom.

Laruen could not stop screaming under the hood, screaming as her ass felt like it was being burned and shredded. Her hips bones hurt from the pieces of wooden 2x4’s he had thrown under hips to perch her ass up higher. At the time she horrifyingly thought it was just to perch her ass up for easy access, for when he first chose to violate her sex. But now she realized it was also to frame her bum for the perfect whipping angle.

Panting from the exertion of his whipping of her nice full ass, he settled back to take a breather and popped open a beer. He looked on at his captive lying there, her shoulders heaving and her fingers clawed into the mattress. He took a step back towards her and ran his hand all around her heated ass.

‘wwpphwww wwweee’ he whistled, “Boy did your skin mark up nice. Feels nice and hot, and boy those welts must fuckin hurt, huh bitch?”

Lauren’s head moved and he could hear her hidden sobs. Under her smothering, now sweaty and tear filled hood, she was in utter distress. She would do anything to get out of this predicament. But she had no way to beg, to plead her willingness to capitulate, to articulate her willing submission to her abductor.

Her sobs morphed into squeals of a new found discomfort as she felt him begin to finger her pussy and ass. They in turn became deep guttural gagged pleadings as she heard him state,

“You think that was hot bitch? Wait till I drill your stupid cunt with my reciprocating dildo saw. Hehehe…It doesn’t go deep…but it goes fuckin fast!…Light speed baby ..3,000 RPM at full tilt…That’s 50 FUCKS A SECOND…Fast enough to shred your cunt red and make you wish you had never been born. Hell bitch… I had one defiant little slut actually smoking, before she passed out! He lied to her, waiting to see what her reaction would be to such a horrific tale.

He grasped to the top of her hood and shook it around violently, “But you don’t want that kinda hurt, do you slut? You hear me in there slut!! You hear what your new master is saying?”

Lauren didn’t know what to do, what sound to grunt, what motion to make. She was petrified in fear. Then she felt a deep horrible pin point shock rip thru her left ass cheek. She screamed mournfully into her panty gag, knowing that he had brought out the electric cattle prod once again.

“Answer me you stupid slut…Your hear me in there!!” he shouted and then hit her clamped tits with a full charge of the battery. An actual crackling noise coming from under her body as he let the current run.

Lauren freaked as the current strung her nipples and spread painfully thru her entire chest. Her body jerked and flailed in its restraints and she tried her best to scream out, ‘YES’ through her mouth filling gag and the restrictive hood.

At this full body response to his question, he once again grabbed her hood and shook it about, finally asking,” So are you my fucking slave toy? My piece of cunt and ass to use as I please forever and ever?”

He released her hood and watched with great satisfaction as his naked, bound and suffering captive furiously nodded her hooded head up and down. Grinning broadly, he could hear her pleading muffled ‘Yes, yes yes.’

There was a long silence and Lauren choked and struggled to breathe in her hood. She could hear some noises and feel the bed dip back between her legs. She shuddered in anticipation of him forcing his cock back into her pussy.

Then she felt the tip of something hard and stiff enter her sex. She groaned and clawed at the dirty mattress as it pushed in past her entrance. It was firm and too hard. Then she heard his voice off to the side of the bed and she realized then it wasn’t his cock.

“So my dear fuck toy, just so you know what I can inflict on you, here’s a taste of 600 rpm.”

Lauren didn’t get to protest it, to utter a single muffled begging grunt for mercy. Nope, the rapid drilling of her pussy by the thick dildo immediately sent her into a thrashing screaming panic. It took only mere seconds before the heat began to build and her pussy felt obliterated.

Her captor let it run for only 30 seconds, but that was all the time he needed. So even after he trained her into a perfect submissive sex toy and the years dragged by. He only had to stand at the entrance to her small cell, Dewalt in hand, and she would be grovelling at his feet, begging to suck his cock, lick his ass or just generally do what ever kinky thing he demanded.

Which of course with a smile, he was all to happy to oblige….

Another story for Laura actually, she’s such a hopeful little pain toy…

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contratosexual · 2 years ago

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The counselor from several posts ago and I have had a really interesting conversation lately. “I’ve been fascinated by your recent posts about September and October, and I think you’re on to something”, is how the conversation started. “Feast and famine are really useful and healthy, especially in a mature, stable, long-term marriage such as yours where you’ve already established that having extra sexual partners works for you.”

Since it’s a first for us to try this out, which is surprising to me since we have been sexually adventurous in so many other ways, we’re feeling our way through it and trying to be thoughtful about it without thinking too much about it, if that makes any sense. I don’t know what October will look like exactly, but I can tell you September has been crazy good. My husband and I have had a LOT of sex, and the more we have it the better it is. I’ve been with Ben only once this month, and he knows the drill. Had lunch with him yesterday, and how completely adorable is this: he is all locked up (see last post), and is taking vitamin supplements to “prepare” for next month.

Anyway, back to the counselor: “No good therapist/counselor will tell you what to do, but you’re not my patient and this is unusual circumstances. Don’t neglect your marriage, but don’t interpret that as giving it to everything: sometimes sexual abstinence from your main partner can be an incredible bonding experience, especially when it follows a period of increased sexual activity. The feast-famine cycle can be very healthy.”

So for those following, I’m already planning October. My husband will be in chastity the entire month, except for certain times where it’s not practical. How and how many times he gets sexual release I haven’t yet determined, but I’m going into the month with zero expectation of any penetrative sex with him. With Ben? Fair game for me all month long. Because, back to the counselor’s advice: “Sexual famine is often healthy for men in otherwise healthy relationships (which is why a woman’s monthly cycle is often followed by ‘better’ sex), but for women it can be detrimental emotionally. It just typically doesn’t have any good outcome and leads to a lot of frustration.”

I’m going into October thinking that my husband’s chastity, in tandem with my relationship with Ben, will be pretty explosive. Always willing to adjust as necessary, but that’s the plan for now. Until then, Ben is all locked up and the sex with my husband is like every day.

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contratosexual · 2 years ago

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Orgasm Control: A List of Benefits

I get a lot of questions about the benefits for me and for my husband about the benefits of structured orgasm control as part of addressing the issue of “mismatched libidos” in heterosexual relationships. For many people, as soon as they make a start on this journey, a range of benefits become clear pretty quickly. So, in this case, I believe the requests for providing a list benefits are for people who are still in the process of deciding if this approach is for them.

The short answer is - yes, your life (and sex life) will change for the better. Give it a try.

The second short answer - yes, use a chastity cage. While it is possible to practise orgasm control without one, the benefits for you, but especially for him, of using a chastity cage are exponential. Perhaps the list of benefits below will elucidate why:

Control vs Neglect

In most heterosexual, long-term relationships, women have a significantly lower sex drive than their male partners. Men have less sex than they would ideally like. In this sense, marriage means that females control the allocation of sex. Already. However, without a deliberate structure and communication around the element of this control, the mismatched libido is interpreted by the male as ‘neglect’ or the feeling of not being desired. This can drive the male to pornography, masturbation or ‘nagging for sex’, which puts unwanted pressure on you, and is a serious turn-off.

When orgasm control is discussed and structured as part of the couple’s sexual dynamic, the male’s perception moves from being ‘neglected’ to ‘controlled’. The latter is highly arousing, and the sexual dynamics flips on its head. By controlling his sexual release, you as a couple are indicating that it has a ‘value’ far greater than when he is simply free to masturbate at will. His greatest physical reward, and the oxytocin, bonding, dopamine rush that follows becomes linked to you, not to Pornhub.

Reigniting the Desire

As has been said on this blog before, males are programmed to ‘move on’ emotionally after ejaculating. Orgasm leads to a spike in prolactin which is a ‘shut off valve’ for intimacy and sexual desire. Frequent masturbation is therefore a total intimacy killer. Controlling the male orgasm leads to increases in oxytocin focused on you as his key objects of desire. He is heavily sexually aroused and his desire for you will skyrocket. Now, he is fully aware that he can’t do anything about it until his scheduled release, so it translates as increased intimacy, and increased energy for other things.

No Pressure for Sex

Modern marriages are defined by women ‘feeling bad’ every time they are not up for sex. The perception of old-world society is that it is the women’s duty to provide sex whenever the male desires. With chastity and orgasm control, this is completely reversed. Sex is not the goal, and the ongoing sexual rush of the denial is what the male will savor the most.

We have PIV (penis in vagina) sex frequently. Most often this is outside of his release window, so he knows that he is not allowed to orgasm, and after I am finished, he is re-locked. It's a mind-screw and a challenge for him, but he absolutely LOVES it!

Chastity is Effortless

With him in chastity, I can do all of this without really having to do much. A bit of attention here and there, a bit of teasing and he is at a constant, positive simmer. It is about communication, structure and commitment.

Release Days are Effortless

When I do allow him an orgasm, this too can be as effortless as you could possibly imagine. On release days, his excitement is so high that bringing him to climax can take as little as a few seconds. I personally encourage him to orgasm as fast as possible. Some days I take off the cage, provide a few gentle strokes, wait until he cums and then re-lock the cage. This can take 2-3 minutes in total! To save time, simply placing a vibrating massages on the cage’s base-ring for a few minutes will bring him to orgasm without even need to take of the cage. He will LOVE this, and again, hardly any effort on your part. That is how it should be.

If you do unlock him for release, always relock directly after he orgasms. This significantly reduces the "drop" he will experience after orgasm and will push him through the 2-3 grouchiness period much smoother. He loves it if I put the cage on him, but if you prefer he locks himself, straight after his release, firmly tell him that it's time to go back in the cage.

Cages Look Sexy

I think of chastity cages as jewellery which is very aesthetically pleasing. Unlocked penises flop about, lean to one side, grow and shrink unpredictably and are often pretty badly manicured. When locked in a cage, everything is so neat. Males will need to do a bit of gardening down there to make it as comfortable as possible. Everything is held in place. His nub is encased and immobilized. His balls are held tight and presented forward. He will want to wear tight underwear or swimwear for comfort purposes, which presents such a neat little package. Every time I see the cage I am reminded that he is doing this for me, and I get a little shiver down my spine. It just looks better, and I love it!

Arousal on Demand

Males think about sex all the time. The vast majority of sexual thoughts and corresponding erections go completely ignored. When locked in chastity, these sexual thoughts (and erections) are contained, and are linked to you as the keyholder. This is highly arousing for the male, and will feel like direct attention from you - even though you may not even be in the same postcode. The cage works for you full-time, and is there whenever the male is aroused. Extremely powerful!

Discipline

The chastity cage helps males to stick to the rules. Most males masturbate significantly more than you will ever imagine. For the vast majority, they will NEVER have gone 21 days or more without masturbating since they first discovered it in their teens. With a cage, masturbation is simply off the table. They must direct this energy elsewhere. Which leads to :

Weight Loss and Conditioning

All of this extra energy must go somewhere, and in most cases, this is directed to physical exercise and conditioning. Many women report that time in chastity has lead to significant weight loss and body sculpting in their males. Motivation and drive are seriously tangible chastity benefits that you will notice as little as 7 days in.

Service

Oxytocin is the courting hormone. Increases in this wonder drug caused by orgasm control will often lead to a far more focused, attentive and service-oriented mentality. Whether conscious on his part or not, I notice a happier, more helpful male, with a higher attention-to-detail and eagerness to please. Use this as you see fit!

A Better Sex Life

Most importantly, chastity and orgasm denial will improve your sex life. Sex does not equate to penetration anymore, although it certainly can if you wish. Unlock him at any point in the schedule for sex of you're keen for it - it's just that outside of the release window, he will have to find a way not to orgasm. You are the focus until his release date!

Most importantly, "sex" in long-term marriages is about sexual interaction - intimacy, honesty, communication and care. This is why you are doing this in the first place. Rewire your thinking as a couple, and become a highly engaged, balanced and aligned sexual partnership.

Conclusions

These are just some of the many benefits that are associated with the exciting journey of male orgasm control. Drop some more in the comments and I can add to this ever-growing list.

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