cookieholix

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Chapter 8 has been published!! Oh, but be careful! Things seem to be HOT 🔥 🥵

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Please everyone check out my story!

https://www.wattpad.com/story/351446537?utm_source=android&utm_medium=link&utm_content=share_writing&wp_page=create&wp_uname=CookieHoliX808&wp_originator=UkKj5TdPe3HnpU279VkDUbtb7f8Ib1qW1JEHRP0JMBbpehslm6ZjUgO1HFmvSAVpArRUDyqDRzsojk8cjzfNvE8Cb1DUzwzgP2sanX1LfpLSMCZqJ7a5%2BC1MxbpT6s1K

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This is my first time posting a fanfic, but with episode 9 of #duskwood coming out this week I had to get this out of my system somehow. What better place than Tumblr? Please be kind, and I hope you enjoy! ☺

I AM LOST WITHOUT YOU: CHAPTER 1

TRIGGER WARNING: MENTION OF ABUSE, SELF HARM

Five years. Five years I've thought of no one but him. Ever since we found Hannah and Richly barely alive all he said was : "I'm sorry." A text message. Two words. And those two words just keep popping up in my mind all day everyday. We never talked on the phone, never spoke in person, but what we had was REAL. It can't be all in my head. But it has to be in my head, or I would never stop looking for him on every dark corner I walk on. Jake...where are you?? I miss our witty conversations and innocent flirting. Me jokingly asking you personal questions about yourself just to imagine your cheeks getting red and the "..." response you would send before your actual responds. It's stupid, I know. Jessy and Cleo both tell me to move on, but I don't know how. What we all went through, what I went through personally, finally leaving my abusive ex boyfriend because I wanted to help save Hannah and Richy, and....because I wanted to be able to see you....Jake....

No. Don't start, Ever. You'll get worked up again. The tears are already threatening my eyes, the heat causing them to burn, making my eyes water even more. "Damn it. Stop it!!" I say out loud.

"Stop what?" A husky voice asks from behind me in my hotel room. I jump at the voice, pointing my gun in the direction.

"Who's there?! I'm police and I'm pretty sure you don't want to fuck with me!" I shout.

" Ever..." The voice speaks again. I see my window open slightly and a hooded figure with a mask I recognize all too well. This can't be real.

"Jake?...." I ask softly.

"Yes it's me, can you help me open this? It's raining and I'm soaking wet already from trying to find the courage to come and do this." Jake says, shivering.

I put my gun back in my holster and go to the window to open it up for him.

"Jake....what the actual FUCK??? DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO ME? THE PAIN YOU HAVE CAUSED BY NOT EVEN SAYING GOODBYE OR ANYTHING??" I scream at him, throwing a towel at him, tears fully streaming down my face.

Jake looks at me, then looks back down, shuffling his feet around. Then his hand reaches up and pulls his hood off his head and then follows with gently pulling off his mask. And I finally see the face that has been haunting me, teasing me because I've never seen it before, for the last five years. And he's beautiful.

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This song speaks to me so much... Barely Breathing Duncan Sheik Lyrics I know what you're doing I see it all too clear I only taste the saline When I kiss away your tears You really had me going, wishing on a star But the black holes that surround you Are heavier by far I believed in your confusion You were so completely torn Well it must have been that yesterday Was the day that I was born There's not much to examine There's nothing left to hide You really can't be serious If you have to ask me why I say good-bye 'Cause I am barely breathing And I can't find the air I don't know who I'm kidding Imagining you care, and I could stand here Waiting a fool for another day But I don't suppose it's worth the price Worth the price, the price that I would pay Everyone keeps asking, what's it all about? I used to be so certain and I can't figure out What is this attraction? I only feel the pain There's nothing left to reason and only you to blame Will it ever change? 'Cause I am barely breathing And I can't find the air I don't know who I'm kidding Imagining you care, and I could stand here Waiting a fool for another day But I don't suppose it's worth the price Worth the price, the price that I would pay But I'm thinking it over anyway I've come to find, I may never know Your changing mind, is it friend or foe? I rise above or sink below With every time you come and go Please don't, you come and go 'Cause I am barely breathing And I can't find the air I don't know who I'm kidding Imagining you care, and I could stand here Waiting a fool for another day But I don't suppose it's worth the price Worth the price, the price that I would pay

Duncan Sheik

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Story my life

Nocturnal Animals (2016) dir. Tom Ford

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Banana Cake with Salted Caramel Frosting

http://www.cookingclassy.com/banana-cake-salted-caramel-frosting/

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Cake Batter Macarons

http://bromabakery.com/2017/06/cake-batter-macarons.html

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"Courage is the magic that turns dreams into reality. "

Richter, Tales of Symphonia: Dawn of the New World

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I dare you to kiss the prettiest girl in the room on the lips. And notice I charitably said girl and not person because let’s face it, I’d smoke all you bitches.

Alexy (via queencherrymilkshake)

In case you were actually wondering what this is from, it's

Patrick, Perks Of Being A Wallflower

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“I want you to be with me, I want you to marry me, I want you to love me the way that I love you.”

The Object of My Affection (1998) dir. Nicholas Hytner

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…I’m here because it’s time I was honest with you. I love you. I’m in love with you. I have tried to kill it, to run away from it, but I can’t and I don’t want to anymore.

Blair Waldorf (Gossip Girl, Season 5: Episode 24)

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Heartbreak: broken down

Sorrow, despair, and wrath; all are part of one giant emotion: heartbreak. Sorrow: when your tears no longer are a stream, but a waterfall down your cheeks and stain them that familiar shiny streak. When your head drums and your heart wails and your throat burns from screaming "don't leave me like this!" Despair: after the tears comes the silence; that unbearable silence, the constant dark cloud over your head, slowly engulfing your body, and eventually your soul. You feel numb, nothing, and that consumes you until you are no more, and have no will left to live. Wrath: when the tears are gone and the cloud of despair slowly goes away, you feel a new energy. A spark of pure anger. You want to hurt someone, you want to scream and inflict your pain on someone else. Your heart pounds and your head swirls with malice. You become bitter towards everyone as your heart pangs every time you hear their name and eventually you break down. Heartbreak is one of the most awful feelings in the whole world. And nothing can heal it, except one thing: time. Time heals all wounds, some longer than others. Others will heal immediately. But if your love is real, it will take great patience to await when you find your one person. And when you do, you'll forget about this horrible process.

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:((

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♡ hayley williams blog ♡