coolbugs-baby-blog

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week 6

6+0 feb 14 - ultrasound 1: this marks the beginning of week 6, and is also the date of my first ultrasound (see the previous post for more details). the relief i experienced was immense! unsurprisingly, due to having the ultrasound, there was some additional blood at the end of the day. but, it was still brown, meaning i wasn't freshly bleeding.

6+1 feb 15: i went about my normal routine today, but unfortunately i experienced more bleeding, similar to the previous days. this had me feeling quite worried again, though i wondered if it was at least in part due to all the walking i do. when i got home from Mass, i still had some routine house cleaning to finish up, but after that i was able to rest, which was very nice. my husband's friend came for a visit, and he helped us install our kitchen sink drain. that was so kind of him! we didn't want to tell him about the baby yet (just in case something bad happens during the first trimester or so), but my husband accidentally pulled up our chat where i'd posted a picture of the ultrasound. beans = spilled. but, it's all good, and it was actually very nice to discuss things with his friend :)

i felt some mild nausea all day, but nothing bothersome. my appetite was fairly low. the bleeding in the afternoon was, thankfully, much lighter, but nonetheless persistent.

6+2 feb 16: normally, we go to one of the nearby monasteries for sunday Mass, though either one involves quite a bit of walking. today, we opted to go to the diocesan church a few minutes' walk from our house in order to minimize the amount of movement i'd have to do. it was actually quite a lovely Mass, and i also was grateful to get some extra rest. i did have a little more light bleeding, and also passed a few clots, but it didn't seem worrisome.

6+3 feb 17 - ultrasound 2: once again, i noticed a few small clots in the morning, but otherwise the blood was minimal (and still brown/old). i was feeling well, and i wanted to go to daily Mass at a monastery, which is my usual routine, as well as get a few groceries. i went out early in the morning. everything was fine until i was walking to the bus stop after Mass - i felt a bit of bleeding occurring. i brushed it off and went to the store. however, shortly after i got home, i felt more blood, and when i checked, it was dark red with a fresher appearance...

of note, i wasn't having significant cramping (maybe 1-2 out of 10 on and off), although i did have some lower back soreness.

i told my husband right away (he works from home), and in his kindness, he stopped everything he was doing and quickly called our ob/gyn. unfortunately, since the doctor's office is so small, it's fairly common for calls to go unanswered. we called a few other places, and one recommended to just go to our ob/gyn's office without an appointment. since it was nearing lunchtime, i opted to lay down to de-stress, which certainly felt very nice. honestly, i just wanted to lay there for the rest of the day because i was so tired and so afraid to go to the clinic…

after my nap, my husband graciously took off work to come with me to visit the doctor. after a short wait, he was able to perform another exam. by God's grace, the gestational and yolk sacs were still there, mostly unchanged, perhaps a little bigger, with no deformities/abnormalities or signs of bleeding. overall, it looked normal. my cervix was also closed and normal looking. my relief was immense!

however, the doctor was unable to find the source of the bleeding; therefore, he prescribed supplemental progesterone, 100mg, as well as magnesium. i pray that the bleeding will stop soon.

6+4 feb 18: i stayed in today. i even slept in! it was great to have some nicely relaxing cuddling with my husband :D i was worried i'd bleed some more, but to my relief, there was only a small amount of coffee-ground like stuff in the morning.

regarding progesterone supplements, there doesn't seem to be a lot of clinical study evidence to suggest they make a substantial difference regarding MC, especially not for mothers without a history of it. although some early studies may have suggested the potential for fetal abnormalities to arise, more recent studies seem to show no effect on the baby. i'm on a low dose of progesterone (not another kind of progestin), only 100mg, but it's administered more "directly" so to speak. during some of my cycles prior to conception, i occasionally had yellow or dark spotting right after ovulation, so i'm slightly worried i could have low progesterone in general, especially since i'm underweight for my comfort. regardless, i'm all the more grateful to be on this medication, even if it doesn't do much to help.

that being said, if an embryo simply isn't viable, then it will perish naturally because it's unable to grow, and the mother will MC as an unfortunate but necessary outcome. since we could still see a normal sac etc. on yesterday's ultrasound, we remain hopeful.

6+5 feb 19: i ventured out today for my typical routine. i still had a small amount of spotting; i wonder if it was from all the walking, or something else. i think i'll try to take it easy tomorrow with less movement and more rest.

otherwise, i felt very tired this morning which prompted an early afternoon nap. i haven't had much cramping or other discomfort at all the last few days, although my appetite is still low. i've also noticed that more of my "typical" foods have become quite unappealing.

6+6 feb 20: and now we embark upon the final day of week 6. i think from now on i'll just write out any concerns or symptoms unless something special happens on a given day.

concerns: still had a very small amount of spotting. symptoms: very mild cramps a few times (1/10). mild fatigue (4/10). moderately low appetite (5/10). low nausea (2/10). digestive issues (3/10). notes: i went to church and thus walked about 30 minutes total. i went right home afterward. it's very hard to focus on studying. i eventually took a 1.5 hour nap.

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first ultrasound ♥ (6+0)

my dear husband called our ob/gyn's office due to persistent brown spotting, and they were able to squeeze us in at the end of the day today. i'm immensely grateful. oh boy, was i nervous...in my mind, the worst had happened (already cried twice before noon lol).

he's a very nice doctor with a modest but cozy clinic. after asking us some questions, he performed a v. ultrasound...revealing a black void with a little white blob inside! the gestational sac and (i think?) the yolk sac. he said i'm definitely pregnant, but it's still too early to get a good look at the baby and detect the heartbeat. he reassured us that everything appears to be progressing normally, including the size and appearance, and that it had implanted in the correct position. the bleeding i had was also no cause for concern, though i should take it easy and avoid BD for a while. we're going back on february 25 for a follow-up.

i can't express how relieved and overjoyed we are. what an incredible gift and blessing on the feast of st. valentine. we're not out of the woods yet, of course, but i'll do my best to stay positive.

one thing that confused me is the doctor said i'm 7 weeks along, but by my calculations using resources i found, i just reached week 6 (LMP jan 3 with cycles averaging 29 days). i wonder if perhaps in germany, they consider week 1 to be the week of the last period (as opposed to week 0). it's also possible he misspoke, as his english isn't perfect, although it's very good. if anyone can chime in, i'm curious about any cultural differences here.

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week 5

for the record, my weeks start on fridays because that's when my last period started, and the actual pregnancy-day-counting began 1 week after that :)

5+0 feb 7: nothing too special happened on the first day of week 5. the lack of signs i have, other than sore <chest pillows>, really surprises me. i began looking up all the Bad Things that can happen during a pregnancy and…whew lads. my mom reassured me and encouraged me to stop doing that. thank you, mom! (but it's still hard not to look stuff up, sigh.)

5+1 feb 8: earlier in the day, i had some mild dizziness, and i felt some sharp pelvic pains when i took the trash out in the evening. that was quite scary - they came and went, more stabby and lower/closer to my pubic bone (and more anterior) than typical menstrual cramps. apparently such feelings can be due to the body changing and preparing for the growing baby. i also felt some nausea, but nothing major.

5+2 feb 9: i honestly feel great. i'm bracing myself for the inevitable "morning sickness" which is a bit of a misnomer because it can happen any time or even all day. this seems to begin in most women around week 6, and is thought to be an adaptive mechanism to ensure the mom doesn't eat anything that could harm the baby.

5+3 feb 10†: it's strange how normal i feel, but even so, i often think "oh yeah...i'm pregnant...wow!"

last night, i slept fairly solidly for the first time since we found out. i think i'd just been so excited, so i'd wake up in the middle of the night with my mind racing with excitement :P the more normal amount of sleep was very welcomed, that's for sure.

5+4 feb 11: sleepy day, despite sleeping well again last night...it's not uncommon for me (while not pregnant) to feel tired in the afternoon, but today it hit me straight away in the morning. i attribute it to all the walking i did yesterday since my husband and i had to go out and about on top of my normal routine. that being said, i took a 2 hour nap this afternoon - which honestly isn't atypical either. i wonder if this is just my regular fatigue or related to the pregnancy.

admittedly, i often have challenging thoughts where my mind says "something is wrong" or "the baby isn't growing" which accounts for my lack of new symptoms. however, knowing that there isn't much i can do, i try to remind myself to be positive.

as for my appetite, it's been surprisingly low. i had a generally low appetite before all this happened, which has made it hard to gain weight, and now it seems a smidge lower, albeit still there. even so, i don't have any weird cravings, and nothing seems unusually unpleasant to me (yet?). i do feel bloated, though, and i think i might be gaining a bit of weight, but it's hard to say for sure since we don't have a scale.

(for the record, it takes a good while for the pregnancy to start to "show." the baby is still only about the size of an apple seed.)

5+5 feb 12: today is my lovely husband's birthday! i'm trying to focus on him, especially because i had a slightly worrisome sign today, that is, dark brown streaky spotting. apparently, this is quite normal, but it can also occur in women who are having a MC. on the other hand, a MC can also have no symptoms, or a lot of fresh blood and clotting, etc. this is such a risky time, and i hope i'm doing what i need to do to ensure the health of our baby. i've thought about calling the nurse line at my insurance, but my OB appointment is next monday...so maybe it's best to just wait.

additionally, last night my stomach was a bit upset, a consistent upper-GI discomfort, but not much pain. after getting out of bed, i felt a bit nauseous throughout the morning, which is somewhat unusual (my normal/non-pregnant nausea typically starts in the afternoon), and my appetite has still been poor.

5+6 feb 13: the brown spotting has continued today, along with occasional mild cramping. i'll admit, i've been obsessively reading all about other women's experiences with this - don't make this mistake. i know i need to leave everything in God's hands, since there isn't much i can do, but it's very difficult not to worry.

that being said: if there's one thing i can recommend to any new moms...1) pray, and 2) don't google your symptoms. if you're worried about something, call your ob/midwife/gp/nurse line and follow their advice. as you get deeper into other women's stories, your mind will take you to dark places.

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weeks 0-4

for those not in the loop, the countdown to birth (that is, the count up in weeks) begins before conception even happens, on day 1 of the period before conception. for me, day 1 was january 3.

week 0:

i had my period as usual.

week 1:

my husband and i had intercourse 5 times within a window where i was most likely to ovulate. i calculated the window based on 1 year of prior NFP charts. my cycles are generally fairly regular, and were especially so during the 3 prior months, though they had previously been as short as 26 days and as long as 33.

around cycle day 14-15, my egg welcomed my husband's sperm that it deemed the most optimal, out of 2-5 million (lucky guy), and a new human life was formed! thank you, Lord!

week 2-3:

ah, the weeks of twiddling thumbs...trying not to think about whether we conceived or not was pretty hard for me, a worry wart, but the last few unsuccessful attempts helped me to be very patient. i didn't want to test before my predicted period date because i didn't really see the point.

meanwhile, the tiny but rapidly dividing fertilized egg, now a blastocyst, was very busy preparing itself for implantation. it traveled into my uterus where it plopped itself down in preparation for a cozy 9 month stay. this likely occurred around 8 days after conception. it actually struck me how long it took for it to travel, considering the sperms get up to the egg within seconds. what a trooper.

week 4:

as mentioned previously, it's rare for my period to be late. i'm a naturally very anxious person, so every little "feeling" i had had me wondering if i was pregnant - that is, the few weeks after we first tried in october. needless to say, i had become a bit guarded about getting too excited about anything that felt different or special, because i didn't want to feel substantially disappointed.

of course, january was different, even though it didn't really feel that different. apparently some women just have an intuition that they're pregnant, but maybe they're just really hopeful. regardless, we did our pregnancy test (just the plain strip kind, brand "ovy" from DM) on cycle day 34, and sure enough, it was positive :D that was in the middle of week 4.

to be honest, week 4 felt extremely normal other than the missed period. the day after our positive, test, we managed to schedule an appointment with an OB, which i'm very grateful for, especially since many other clinics not accepting new patients.

despite this incredible miracle and gift, i'm trying to leave everything in God's hands. there isn't much we can do aside from the obvious, like avoiding things i already avoid (eg smoking and drinking alcohol), and taking a prenatal vitamin. i do also realize that this is the most vulnerable time during a pregnancy, and there's a chance we could lose the baby. i pray that we have the grace to accept any outcome.

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a little backstory

my beloved husband and i got married last june on the feast of st. justin. although we both wanted children, we found it prudent to wait until after i moved to his country 5000 miles away, found our own apartment, moved in, and ensured i could legally stay here for the foreseeable future...it's been quite the adventure, to be sure.

now, at the beginning of the year, months before we got married, we took an NFP (natural family planning) course as part of our Catholic marriage prep. i'd highly recommend this to /any/ couple, religious or not. i began charting my cycle (which includes basal body temperature and various physical signs), so we were able to get a reasonably clear fertility pattern by the time we actually got married. there is certainly no need for artificial contraception, which is inherently immoral. after all, NFP makes it quite easy to target intercourse whether you're trying to bring forth a new baby or avoid pregnancy - and of course, there are other benefits, such as having better knowledge of one's body and spotting any potential problems.

anyway, we'd been trying to conceive since october of last year, but we were nervous at first and didn't do so well the first 2 months :) we got right on track for december, but when my period started in january, i felt a bit discouraged. given my ripe Old Age of 38.5, would we ever be able to conceive..?

well, it seems that the very next month - that is, this past january - was our month :D my period was late (which is rather uncommon), and we got a nice, strong positive when we tested on the morning february 5, the feast of st. agnes. our predicted due date is october 10. st. agnes, st. justin, st. gianna, st. gerard, and you dear readers, pray for us!

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it's happening......... 😳