coolgoodandfine

[coolgoodandfine]

YouTube mirror under cut

[coolgoodandfine]

siffrin groovin

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how do i not touch the game for month, then consistently open animal crossing on new years

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KEEP LOOPING!!! 99% of timeloopers give up right before the loop where they fix everything and save everyone

[coolgoodandfine]

so when straight people ask me why I say I’m “queer” or “gay” instead of sharing my actual identity as a panromantic demisexual non-binary sapphic queer I just tell them “ok look, when you’re talking to someone who isn’t local and they ask you where you’re from and you either say the name of the largest city nearby or ‘town name, suburb of large nearby city’ so they can get some geographical context of where you’re located right, bc they’re probably not going to know the name of the little town you actually live in.”

but if you’re talking to a local you can say the name of your actual town bc they have a greater chance of knowing where/what that is.

ok well when I’m talking to a straight person I start with queer bc chances are they aren’t as familiar with the context of all the little towns in that big queer city and need gps (gay positioning system) to find me.

if I’m talking to another queer person and I say I live in a suburb of gay city in a town called panromantic on the demisexual side of the tracks which is in the county of queer and I live off the intersection of non-binary and sapphic, they’d probably be able to find me with little to no problems, make sense?

[coolgoodandfine]

Gone.

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do NOT separate them

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The 20 year old accidentally bonsai'd apricot tree that I finally planted in the ground has truly established himself and has chosen a branch with which he will form his main trunk. He's putting all his energy into this one branch and it's making dozens of tiny offshoot branches and it is rapidly growing taller

[coolgoodandfine]

What if there was a cow that lived in the ocean

whale

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Air lock

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f/m shippings are great, heterosexuals just have the most awful taste in heterosexual relationships. why can’t you all be normal and instead of shipping edgy manchild x soon to be house wife, why don’t you ship that has whatever Adam and Morticia from the Adams family has.

[coolgoodandfine]

hey we wanna re-think this at all or

[coolgoodandfine]

More tea leaf divination knowledge. Take notes.

[coolgoodandfine]

for my male audience

[coolgoodandfine]

[coolgoodandfine]

One of the baristas at a nearby Starbucks makes me lose my mind every time I’m there by saying things that are not outside the spectrum of normal human words but are just slightly off-the-wall.

Barista: Welcome to Starbucks, home of delicious, what deliciousness can I put in motion for you today?

Customer: … Can I get a trenta pink drink please?

Barista: Go big or go home, we here at Starbucks appreciate your commitment, what else can I get started for you?

***

Customer: Nitro cold brew with shots of espresso please.

Barista: Brave of you to commit to staying awake for three days, anything else today?

***

Barista: *slams open drive-thru window* HI HOW ARE YOU?

Customer: …I’m pretty good.

Barista: Are you ready to be even better? Because you’re about to be. *hands them their coffee* 

***

Barista, realizing that a drink was made wrong: *slams open window* SO how do you feel about surprises?

Customer: ….they’re okay.

Barista: Great because I’m about to give you one.

***

Barista: You have two drinks so I am going to hand you two straws which means, FANTASTIC news, these straws double as drumsticks. / You have one drink so I am going to hand you one straw and, promise not to tell anyone, this straw doubles as a magic wand.

***

Barista: Here are those cake pops, I plucked them fresh from the tree myself.

***

Barista: *slams open window, holding drink* Amazing, fantastic, delicious, you are a very lucky man/woman!

***

Barista, realizing drink is being delayed or remade: Looks like it’s gonna be just one minute so they have time to put the extra love in.

***

Barista: I’ll be with you in one hot second. *beat* WOW that second sure was hot!

Anyway she has a few dozen catchphrases she rotates approriately and it’s both distracting and fantastic to listen.

[coolgoodandfine]

Gonna chill out the rest of May and then change my entire life in June. Possibly July if that doesn't work out. Certainly no later than September or October.