coolk1d777

[coolk1d777]

It’s 4 days before my birthday and a day i was once excited for I am no longer .. me and ole dude haven’t been fighting but it’s a lot of what’s understood feelings and we’ve just been coexisting, we barely sleep in the same room together anymore and he’s been distant and so have I .. we still do things to show we care for one another but our vibe is no longer . What do you do when you feel and physically see your bond and relationship with your person slipping and both does nothing to stop it .. I’m an over thinker so my mind has been racing with thoughts and the hurt me is like fuck it, you’ve seen this before they always cheat and try to hide it but somthing in you tell you somthings off , and I’ve made it apparent that it must be me because his demeanor changes when he comes around me , he’s a huge dick , and its honestly pushing me away .. no I’ll never cheat because In this moment all I want is his attention and for us to talk but the way I’m over trying to save relationships I’m feeling like it is what it is , idc to be cute because I’ve tried .. and my mind is like chill out he ain’t feeling it and he shows he’s not feeling it , we are not who we were and I understand ppl change but not like this , it’s like he makes it obviously it’s not me he wants to hug and talk to , it’s not me who has his attention and he says it’s because he’s trying to get everything right for my birthday but I thought on my day, the one day it’s dedicated to me I’m supposed to feel special and In the days leading up to it I’m supposed to be excited .. but I’m not , I’m not happy at all I’ve held back so many tears and just said fuck it so many times .. Why? Why me ? I’ve prayed , but damn shit really hurts .. my mind is telling me he’s cheating I just feel like he is .. I’ll ask and he either looks over it or say somthing like “ I don’t have time to cheat” and most times niggas make time to cheat because by the words of my ex husband “ it’s the thrill of getting caught” 😂 like nigga what? I’m your wife and you cheat because you want to get caught ? What kind of toxic shit is that .. and their both Taurus … 😒 Ig I didn’t learn my lesson , speaking of my ex he messaged me apologizing for eveything that happened , at the time his current fiancé did the most and just sheeted herself into eveything and always talked about how I was irrelevant and I’m ruining his life when they are the ones who constantly called and text me from random numbers about divorce papers that my ex refused to sign multiple times before !! She made it so obvious that she felt some way about me due to whatever reason , but that’s not my buisness they are no longer together like I figured because she isn’t the first , majority of the girls he dated after we broke up 4 years ago might I add , has always felt some way about me when I didn’t have a clue who they were .. but again not my buisness , I remove myself every chance I get cause shìt is really just pointless .. he hmu about 3x a week to ask how I’m doing but that’s about it , a lot of ppl say you can’t be friends with your ex but I’m cool with mine , I have no feelings what’s so ever for them , we were cool before things ended no hate from my end so it doesn’t bother me but out of respect for my current , I don’t entertain it .. but him on the other hand he makes it obvious he still some way about his ex and if he had the chance I don’t doubt he would def go back to his ex .. fucked up but Ig that just how the cookie continues to crumble . I’ve noticed taurus has that ex they will always run back to and can’t get over.. I hope we can work through whatever and we can sit down and talk to each other about what’s going on , cause I hate this feeling.. if he gon cheat or has cheated I wish he be man enough to fuckin say it so I can let this go and start healing .. I can hold my own , it won’t be anything new for me .. just to say the least my birthday looks like I’m gonna be crying on my birthday again 🙂. Happy 25th to me 🎉

[coolk1d777]

It blows my mind to learn that the ppl that meant the absolute world too you , didn’t even care about you …

[coolk1d777]

“and i’d like to think

that if we never speak again,

one day you’ll look back on me fondly

as somebody who didn’t fear the future

when they pictured you by their side.

i’d like to think

you’ll remember me

as somebody who loved you

the best they could,

even if it wasn’t always what

you wanted or needed.

i’d like to think

you’ll remember me

as somebody you could

have spent your life with,

if only the timing had been right.

if only we’d worked for it

just a little bit

harder.”

- catarine hancock, author of shades of lovers and sometimes i fall asleep thinking about you

[coolk1d777]

[coolk1d777]

“Please, I want so badly for the good things to happen.”

— Sylvia Plath

[coolk1d777]

In my bed in my head in my heart

I walk down memory lane because

I love running into you

Rose tinted memories come flooding in

And I have you back for a few

Its hard to think

That not everything is cataclysmic

That the universe didn't plan for us

When all the pieces seemed to have fallen into place

Wrong person right timing?

Maybe next time around

When you're brought into my orbit

Ill have new moons and might finally know my place in this galaxy

But will our gravity be enough to make you stay

3 years ago I wasn't enough

3 hours ago I was too much

And what a shame

I had already imagined us

I dont know if I loved you, or the space you filled

In my bed, in my head, in my heart

And I can still see it

Concerts in your boxers and rooftop philosophies

I loved the thought of being with you

Or maybe it was the thought of not being on my own anymore

Alone

In my bed, in my head, in my heart

How do I ask the universe for anything other than you?

.

.

IMBIMHIMH 28/12/21

[coolk1d777]

In my bed in my head in my heart

I walk down memory lane because

I love running into you

Rose tinted memories come flooding in

And I have you back for a few

Its hard to think

That not everything is cataclysmic

That the universe didn't plan for us

When all the pieces seemed to have fallen into place

Wrong person right timing?

Maybe next time around

When you're brought into my orbit

Ill have new moons and might finally know my place in this galaxy

But will our gravity be enough to make you stay

3 years ago I wasn't enough

3 hours ago I was too much

And what a shame

I had already imagined us

I dont know if I loved you, or the space you filled

In my bed, in my head, in my heart

And I can still see it

Concerts in your boxers and rooftop philosophies

I loved the thought of being with you

Or maybe it was the thought of not being on my own anymore

Alone

In my bed, in my head, in my heart

How do I ask the universe for anything other than you?

.

.

IMBIMHIMH 28/12/21

[coolk1d777]

“Please, I want so badly for the good things to happen.”

— Sylvia Plath

[coolk1d777]

[coolk1d777]

Naturearchiitecture

[coolk1d777]

Reblog this to prove your blog was made before the February 2022 tumblr resurgence

[coolk1d777]

[coolk1d777]

teeth

[coolk1d777]

Chateau Rolls Royce

An abandoned Belgian house that dates back to the 18th century. - Obsidian Urbex Photography

[coolk1d777]

Dreamcasa

[coolk1d777]

10 Shows With Gay Women Leads You Should Be Watching Right Now

4400, CW

Yellowjackets, Showtime

Hightown, Starz

The Girl in the Woods, Peacock

Wheel of Time, Amazon Prime

Batwoman, CW

Dickinson, Apple TV+

Queens, ABC

Home Economics, ABC

Legends of Tomorrow, CW

[coolk1d777]

Naturearchiitecture