coopm014

[coopm014]

they should invent an apartment that has huge windows but is never too hot and is near everything i like and all my friends but is also quiet when i want it to be and costs zero dollars or perhaps they pay me to live in. and they save it just for me so i dont have to look for it :)

[coopm014]

thinking about what if junimos were not only apple-like, but also like other types of fruit/vegetables

[coopm014]

extremely funny to me that harley quinns real name is apparently harleen quinzel, a name that sounds less real that harley quinn. they should do that with more comic characters. batman real name batthew manning. daredevil real name darius devilson. doctor strange real name. well okay that one doesnt count.

[coopm014]

i love drinking coffee

[coopm014]

tom lehrer up in that great big park in the sky, poisoning pigeons for all eternity. peace out king ✌️

[coopm014]

MY GOD WHAT HAVE I FOUND XD

I'm not sorry for having you know this exists XD

[coopm014]

“the millenium falcon would wipe out the enterprise in seconds” lmao the enterprise is just an innocent science class floating thru space…. all they wanna do is look at some rocks… kiss an alien…. find some space plants….. why would you fight that its not a battleship theyre just nerds…… leave them olone 

[coopm014]

you aren't insane you just live with your parents

you aren't insane you just live with your parents

you aren't insane you just live with your parents

you aren't insane you just live with your parents

you aren't insane you just live with your parents

[coopm014]

what the fuck

[coopm014]

as a child being told "the moon controls the tides" with no additional explanation was like. oh okay. you want me to believe in magic? you're talking about magic right now? okay. fine

[coopm014]

Everyone thinks they’re radicalized these days. Well start blowing shit up then

[coopm014]

You ever think too hard about Minecraft and start gnawing drywall

(reference)

[coopm014]

Light Gray Candle

[coopm014]

so it turns out that climbing onto a rooftop in the middle of the night does solve all your problems, but i failed to consider that it would create a brand new one

[coopm014]

quiz: why do lobsters have one claw bigger

[coopm014]

I firmly believe that my (Chinese) mom is more Italian than my (Italian) dad. She earned multiple advanced degree in Italian history and studied abroad to learn how to speak the language fluently. She fought for it. The hell did he ever do? He grew up eating slightly more pasta than other kids in the United States. He was born into it. Fucking nepo Italian

[coopm014]

What was the name of the feller who invented the wheel

Her name was Bleez, daughter of Vlarg. She invented the wheel shortly after inventing geometry.

The year was 47,481 B.C.E., around late March, and Gmorgu was piling rocks outside his cave to throw at Vlarg should Vlarg return to try to steal his flint again. Gmorgu had 6 rocks, but didn’t know this consciously. Certainly he understood he had an amount of rocks, and that he would have several throws should he miss Vlarg with a couple. But this was the dawn of humankind and curiosity was the hottest new thing. Gmorgu wondered- How many rocks could he throw at Vlarg? This was the first time a human being yearned to quantify anything.

Gmorgu developed a quick system: If he threw one rock, he would have five rocks left. If he threw two rocks left, he would have four rocks, and so on. Gmorgu laughed with his ingenuity. He had just invented subtraction. He wondered if any more operations were possible, and no sooner had he added a seventh rock to his pile did he realize this too was a sort of counterpart to his previous mathematical invention.

Vlarg came over the hill looking shifty. He had come for Gmorgu’s flint. Gmorgu grunted but Vlarg looked to run past him. Gmorgu threw the first rock, and divided Vlarg’s skull in half, thus inventing both division and fractions. His number of available operations had tripled and he realized this too was an operation, multiplication.

Thus the four common mathematical operations were born. But that day of genius was far from over:

It was then that Vlarg’s daughter, Bleez, discovered her father wounded and howled by his side. Gmorgu grunted at her to take the body away from him, for he had sought to steal Gmorgu’s flint. Bleez grunted back that it was originally the community’s flint and Gmorgu was being greedy by keeping it for himself. Gmorgu did not relent, he went back into his cave. Bleez then did something she’d wanted to do since Gmorgu hoarded the flint in the first place- She walked up the hill to the precarious boulder that stood over Gmorgu’s cave and pushed it over.

It rolled down the hill at an angle of 36° and a speed of 14mph, covering 3.141 times its radius with each rotation, lodging itself and covering the entrance of Gmorgu’s cave with an area of 14ft² all to Bleez’s watchful and annotative eye. So it was that Bleez, not a moment after the invention of math itself, invented the fundamentals of geometry, defeated Gmorgu, and avenged her father.

She did this all by means of intuition, and never wrote down her greatest discovery that day- She had just become the first human being to make active and intentional use of the laws of gravity, and in so doing, also invented the wheel.

Later in life she also invented popcorn but this is not relevant to the story at hand and furthermore, it was not buttered so we don't care.