copypastass

[copypastass]

I 🤔want🙏🏼 to ram👋👋 my 👨🏻‍⚖️meatsnake😏😍🍆🍆💦 down ⬇️Judy😍 Hopp’s 🐰💦throat🍆👅👀. Keep in mind🤔💦 I’m 😎about 4🍆 times🍆💦 her 😍size🐰, so my😎 wiggler🍆😎 is DIPPING 💦🍆into ⬇️her😍❤️💦 intestinal👍 acid👍. She😘 can’t😂 🅱️reathe😤😡 but 😤😎she ❤️😘DIGESTS💦😍 the 🍆tip😝 of my😎 sausage💦🍆💦 and 🕋lives☘️😻 upon😽🙀 the nutrients💩😤. She😘 cries😭 and cries😥😭 and tries😤 to reach👍 for 🙃her 😘gun 😭🔫- but🤔 it🔫 isn’t ❌✋️😱in ⬇️her 😍holster❌👌. I’ve 😎💦got👍 it behind🙌 my😎🍆 🔙. I 😎💦pull😣😤 it🔫👌 out😋😞 - she 😍🍆💦freaks😂😜😝 out😝🤡😜. You✋️ can see👀🤔🙄 what little👌😩😤 hope👏🙏🏼😾 she🐰😍❤️ has 🙏🏼left 😾degrade 😭👌further 🔙🤔and ✋️further🤔😝 - she 🐰🍆wont✋️😏😧 survive🙏🏼😩😭 this🍆💦😭. But ‼️✋️😱she 🐰❤️💦has👏 one☝️ 🙏🏼thing🦊🙌, one 👆☝️hope🤞🙌👏🙏🏼🤔, one☝️🙀 PERSON🙎🏿‍♂️🤞🙌to 👈cling💪👅 on👀 to🦊 - and he 🦊🙀just ❗️knocked❗️🤜 on 😢the door🚪😫😱😭. "Judy?"🐰🍆😍 I 😎🍆hear 🗣👂Nick's🦊😱 voice��� and👿 picture 💭 🦊💩his🦊😤👿 smug❌😡😳 face😷👺😳 before😥😳😈 i 😎💦see👀😏🤔 it🦊💩👺. I 😎💦🍆turn ❗️↗️around🐋😲. NICK💩🦊🦊😫😫😤😱😰😳😷👿. He 🦊☠️stands🚶😪 there 👉👏horrified,😱😳😱 groceries🍅🍏🍐 in 😒hand,✋️👌🤛 as👂🖕 he🦊🖕😵 witnesses 😵😰🤤the 😬horrors👿👻🍆💦 happening🍆💦💦💦😍🐰 before⬇️👉 him🦊🖕😂😂. Judy🐰😍😘 is 😗☺️CHOKING😵😱😤 on 🔛my 😎🍆pork 🐷chop 👿and🧀 running 🏃🏿‍♀️🙀😰out😬😮😫 of 😤😔😏😳air😵😵😵😂 - and 🤠time🤞👏🙏🏼🙌🎃. Her 🐰😍❤️💕tearful😂😢😭 eyes 👁👁look👀🙄🤔 to 👉Nick🦊😤😤😫 in 🐭desperation😫👏🙌🤞, then 👣💕realization🤔😮😧😱, as😠 she🐰💕😍 sees 👀🙄🤔the 🤠revolver 🤠🔫in ⤵️my 👉😎👈 hand🤚🤜😼. I 😂😎lift💪🤳 it🔫🔫😂🦊, quivering👏😧, at🤣😂 the 👏Wilde's🦊😠🖕 freaking🙀😰😱 face🦊😤😠😡👿. He 🦊😡👺freezes❄️❄️😱, my 👍😎👍finger👉😍 squeezes🙀🤣, a ☝️shot 🔫🔫😱😰rings 👂👂off🙌. Hole👌😾🤗 in👉👌 his🦊😤😠 head🙇🦊,🦊 brains🤣 on 🙇the 👈wall🙀😤👿 behind↩️ him🦊😤😡👍. I 😎👍have👏🙌👍 slain 😡😎the 👺🙌❄️mighty👿😡🤗 🦊🦊Nicholas 🦊🦊Wilde🦊🦊😱😂😤, and🤖 extinguished🤢😳 the🍄 dying😵🤕🤤 flame🔥🔥💥 of ⛄️hope🙌👏👐🙏🏼🤞 that🍜 judy😍🤤😩😫🐰🍆💦💦 clung💪🙌 to👌👌👍. She🐰💦 stops❌✋️ fighting💪🤛🤜 for👏🙌 her 🐰🍆💦💦life👌👍🔥 after ❌😜watching🙄🤔👀 Nick 🦊😤😒👃🏿sink😵😰💉 to👉 the floor.😒😔😂 Within 🤞👏seconds🕞🕥🕚, she🐰💦😍🍆 is🤡 dead💀😩😤, mouth 👅😍😋still🤞🙌 on 💋🐫my👉👉😎 sausage🍆🍆💦, reaching👉👉 all👉👉 the👉👉 way👉👉 down 👇👇⬇️to 🎶her 🐰💋💦😍💦🍆stomach😂😂🤣. Finally👏🙌🕞, it 🍆💦bursts🍆💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦. Gallons😩😂😩 of 😂piping😱🤤🤤🤤 hot😳😅😂 cream 🐄🐄are🐙 flung👉👉 into 👉😂🤣the🐫😜 stomach😎🤑 of☹️🤓 the😗😂😅 dead ☠️💀👻😇😂🤣Hopps🐰😍😍🍆💦😉🐙. At☺️😁 last🕞🕛🤤, I 😎😎😎am 🤧satisfied.🤤🤤☺️☺️😎

[copypastass]

I must commend you on your choice of profile pics; they really advertise your biological prowess. Your voluptuous figure, along with your fair complexion, tells me that you are healthy, and therefore would make a great choice for a breeding partner. I must ask though, How would you rate your ability to climb trees? I ask because, in the off chance a ground predator were to loom the horizon we could both escape via the trees without me having to risk my life in an attempt to defend you from said predator. If my instincts are correct, then I believe a biological pairing between us may be a practical and mutually benefitting affair. Would you be available for some light discourse? That is very good to know, since I could not possibly fathom being with a girl who cannot climb trees. This is going splendid so far. How would you rate your abilities is combat?

[copypastass]

Dicks are so cute omg(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄ when you hold one in your hand and it starts twitching its like its nuzzling you(/ω＼) or when they perk up and look at you like" owo nya? :3c" hehe ~ penis-kun is happy to see me!!（＾ワ＾） and the most adorable thing ever is when sperm-sama comes out but theyre rlly shy so u have to work hard!!(๑•̀ㅁ•́๑)✧ but when penis-kun and sperm-sama meet and theyre blushing and all like "uwaaa~!" (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ: ･ﾟhehehe~penis-kun is so adorable (●´Д｀●)・::・

[copypastass]

Based? Based on what? In your dick? Please shut the fuck up and use words properly you fuckin troglodyte, do you think God gave us a freedom of speech just to spew random words that have no meaning that doesn't even correllate to the topic of the conversation? Like please you always complain about why no one talks to you or no one expresses their opinions on you because you're always spewing random shit like poggers based cringe and when you try to explain what it is and you just say that it's funny like what? What the fuck is funny about that do you think you'll just become a stand-up comedian that will get a standing ovation just because you said "cum" in the stage? HELL NO YOU FUCKIN IDIOT, so please shut the fuck up and use words properly you dumb bitch

[copypastass]

If u suck your own dick while you turn 18 you're a pedophile

Ok so hear me out. Due to gravitation time dilation, your upper body is technically older then your lower body, that is of course ... due to Gravitational Time Dilation. Gravitational Time Dilation is the effect gravity has on time. The lower the gravitational potential, the faster time is. Knowing this, because your dick has more gravitational potential then your head, your head is older then your dick (by like less then a millionth of a nanosecond but that doesn’t matter). So if you were sucking your own dick while you turned 18, your head would age first. This means your 18 year old head would be sucking you 17 year old dick. and you're a pedophile. that's all i wanted to say ! Thank you for listening to my TED Talk.

[copypastass]

Okay, you know what? Im gonna say it.

Horse cock is fucking mediocre. You know why?

Because it lacks complexity. Canine cock has that glorious knot

"But horsecock has a flare!!!!" Yeah and after it cums its soft. Who wants a partner with super short stamina? "But the flare keeps the cum inside you!!!" For what? 15 seconds!? A knot does that too, for much longer, and its in just the right place to press against your prostate/g-spot. So with each one of your lovers heartbeats you can get propelled further into pleasure.

Or what about the luscious curved taper of a dolphin or orca? Thick at the base and the taper makes it an easy adjustment for beginners wroldwide.  Not to mention they're PREHENSILE.

And hows about the barbed feline cock? It takes some getting used to for sure, and its not for everyone. But those barbs can really take you to the next level, the pain mixed in with the pleasure is exquisite.

Look at snakes and sharks! There's two dicks to play with.

Dragons have bumps and ridges, tapered and knotted, and every combination between!!!

Alligators and crocodiles have dicks that are literally ALWAYS erect.

And don't even start on size. Last I checked, sex isn't all about the dick, as a matter of fact you could say the cock is less than half of the important part of sex.

Horsecock is just glorified, uncomfortable, human cock, with no merits other than size, and thats a pretty fucking weak merit for this lauded "god of all cocks".

[copypastass]

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more

[copypastass]

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink.

"Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave.

Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette.

"Got a spare?" she asks.

"What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles.

"Conversation with me, duh."

I laugh.

"What's so funny?" she protests.

"Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?"

"You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter.

"What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask.

"Teaching, I think."

"And if I was your student, what would I be learning?"

"Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?"

"Bermuda," I say.

"Oh wow. That's lovely."

"It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking."

"What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires.

"I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."

[copypastass]

I am racist

Why, yes, I am R.A.C.I.S.T:

Respect my friend's different beliefs

Adore the little quirks in their traditions

Care for my friends, no matter their skin color

Inform myself on what taboos I should never break

Smile when they speak their native tongues

The French must be purged from the Earth

[copypastass]

I, an atheist, accidentally said “oh my g*d” instead of “oh my science”

You read the title, I just cannot believe I said the “g” word on accident. Am I even an atheist anymore? I don’t like religion or anything but like maybe it infiltrated me and is manipulating me to say “oh my g*d” instead of “oh my science”. Please guys it wasn’t me, I didn’t mean it. I’m very disappointed in myself, I think I need to go to science camp or go to therapy. What if I’m secretly religious? what should I do? Is my foreskin going to fall off?? Please can someone give me advice, any advice is appreciated.

Best regards,

-an atheist(?)

[copypastass]

i forgor 💀

[copypastass]

Every time I here a chess player talk about race, they always say stuff like “I’m so glad that I am white this game” or “He was black, so he didn’t stand much of a chance that game”. Seriously, what is up with this blatant racism guys??? It’s getting so bad I am even hearing this sort of shit from some Indian players as well. Your color doesn’t mean anything, you are still the same person!!!!!!

[copypastass]

The year is 2043 Covid variant phi beta epsilon is ravaging 0.0026% of the population, you go outside for your government mandated 30 minute exercise, it's 1 a.m. not the best time, but they alternate your schedule so eventually everyone does get some sunlight. You quadruple mask and put on your plastic helmet. You gaze longingly at the sky. A man riding his bicycle points his flashlight at you "Why aren't you doing your stretches and cardio?" He asks, you recognize him as your neighbor (maybe, it's been some time since you last saw anyone). "It's because of people like you not obeying that the lockdowns have been extended another 4 years." He mumbles through his layers of masks. He reports you to AlphabetGoogle and your social credit score drops 5 points, good luck buying bread this week.

[copypastass]

Cock is one of my favorite tastes. Not only that, but balls smell amazing. It makes me go a little crazy on it to be honest. Like, I cannot get it far enough down my throat to be satisfied. I’m only satisfied when I feel those intense, powerful, salty, hot pumps of cum down my throat. When I sit back on my heels, look up at you with cum all over my mouth and slobber running down my neck, hair all fucked up and wipe my mouth with the back of my arm and ask you if I did a good job and you cannot even speak because I’ve drained all of your energy out the tip of your dick….. That’s when I’m satisfied.

[copypastass]

Our system isn’t just bpd and if you want I’m honestly willing to chronicle every little thing that led to it. Including our summer of emotional abuse, our bpd, some kin stuff, a literal fucking angel, a perfectionist complex from age 9 on, and AP physics.

[copypastass]

I just want to reblog this and stress this: Levi lost his entire squad. He didn’t lose 20% of his squad. He didn’t even lose 50%. He lost his whole squad. Look at what it’s done to him. You can see the death in his eyes, but he keeps on going. This is why Levi is one of my favorite characters.

[copypastass]

Hi I just wanna say my piece btw and mention that Undertale is a multilayered media outlet in which it produces a lot of content, both good and bad. Eliza not to call you out but I can admit to being undertail trash while also exploring character depth and discussing theories while listening to either tobys own music or some of the weirdest/greatest mash ups I've ever heard from a fandom. It's not just one side or the other. Also slight tmi, but... My bf and I brought soriel roleplay into the bedroom and it's brought us closer together because we relate to those characters. After were done we go on to shove our faces full of burger king and watch shitty anime. Its just... I'm sorry. I guess I saw what you said and I just... Felt the need to state this.