corasdiary

[corasdiary]

Entry 004

“How are your parent’s not bugging you about marriage?,” Keli asked me as I drove her back to her Avenue of the Stars apartment her boyfriend had been helping her pay (to be fair, he stays there when he’s not in San Francisco).

My parents have never bugged me about marriage, nor about finding a boyfriend.  It’s just never been their style to make sure I’m married by a certain age, and I’m pretty grateful for that.  Part of me thinks it’s because they want to make sure I can be self-sufficient without the need to rely on a husband.  But another part of me thinks they just don’t want me to end up with any of the guys in my life that I’ve chatted to them about, with the exception of one of the Uy boys who I’ve casually bumped into a couple of times.  Then, it was all ears and all smiles and questions on where he is now and when I’m going to see him again (the Uy family is quite influential in the Philippines, but has been criticized for exploitation, but that’s pretty common among influential families there).  I don’t have the heart to tell them that he’s now happily in a relationship with a nice girl that actually lives in the Philippines.

For as long as I’ve known Keli (six years now), she’s been a boy chaser.  I’m not pointing that fact out to say that it’s bad.  I’m just pointing it out because that’s how she is, and she owns it, and I love her for that.  

“My parents are starting put the pressure on me, and I totally get it,” Keli continued.  “First off, I don’t want to be an old mom.  Also, I’m just so ready to be a stay-at-home wife now...  Preferably one that stays in a mansion in Laguna.”

We decided to stop by the Westfield in Century City to get boba from Wushiland.  As we stepped out of the car and onto the escalator, Keli then went on and on about how she’s been struggling to decide whether her boyfriend was the one she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, or if she had to call it quits and find another potential husband to settle down with in the next year or two.

I ordered an Ovaltine latte before explaining to her that finding a partner just wasn’t a priority for me and that I’d rather meet someone naturally.

“Everyone is on the apps now though,” she responded.  “Sure, you can meet someone naturally, but the apps make it so much easier and quicker.  Like, you don’t have to waste time waiting around to meet someone.”

Was what she was saying true?  I mean, the last time I met someone “naturally” and ended up in a relationship with them was in undergrad.  I swore he was the one, but he moved back to Italy and long distance wasn’t something either of us were willing to try, especially with both of us going to grad school after and not having enough time to travel back and forth.  He promised to come back to visit only after I first visit him there, but I hadn’t had the time to do so.

Since then, I’ve been single.  Sure, there were guys I found attractive in law school, but I was more busy just trying to survive and get through all my cases. 

At work, there were only two guys around my age and I wasn’t interest in any of them.  And I’m not into dating much out of my age range.  Plus, I’m now self-employed which means no coworkers to potentially have a crush on.

I dropped her off at her apartment and started to head home, all the while thinking of whether I was wasting my time.

I got home, and “unpaused” myself on Bumble to see what’s out there.

Marco, Italian, grad student at USC.  Educated and Italian, but his mostly tourist-style photos made it hard to swipe right.  I get it, you’ve traveled, but what else?  

Kumar, works in finance, recently Anderson grad.  Has too many photos of him and someone I’m assuming is his brother that it’s sometimes hard to tell who is who.

Brian, liberal, LMU grad.  That’s it.  No other descriptors.  Well, he says he’s never been to Starbucks, which is interesting I guess.  But, I’m getting nothing.

It’s hard to gauge who a person is just by looking at their photos and what few sentences they put out there about themselves.  I decided to put myself on pause again before shooting Keli a text.

“Don’t put yourself on pause,” she said.  “Leave yourself on and just come back to it later to see who swiped on you.”

I ignored her suggestion.  The whole reason I put myself on pause is so that no one I know in real life sees me on the app.  LA is huge, but it can be made small, and I’d just rather not be seen on the app.

As I once again paused myself on the app, I reassured myself that there’s nothing wrong with waiting to meet someone “naturally.”  There are a ton of successful and beautiful women who didn’t meet their significant other until their 30s or even 40s.  

I reminded myself that there was still so much I wanted to do myself and that forcing myself to meet someone now would very likely mean pushing my priorities down.  

[corasdiary]

Entry 003

Dear blog,

It’s been almost a year since I’ve posted on here, but it’s because I’ve been really busy.  So why am I back?  I’m again in need of an outlet to rant about what is happening in my life, so here goes (Also: I haven’t read what I last wrote, so I don’t remember where I left off).

The last few weeks have been busy for me, no longer academically, but socially.  I spent one week catching up with one of my closest friends Victoria who I had met during a summer abroad program in France during my senior year of high school.  She was back in Los Angeles to decompress before continuing her journey to New York to move in with her boyfriend and start a new internship.

Another week was spent catching up with another close friend of mine who actually lives in Los Angeles, but we haven’t had the time to hang since the pandemic started, mostly because I was away at school.  Catching up mostly meant me listening to her rant about her current relationship situation — boyfriend wants to move to Shanghai, she wants to stay in California, both are stubborn, she reminds him that she can find anyone, he reminds her that he’s got the cash, she reminds him that she can find anyone with cash, he says go ahead, etc.

Then, the other week was spent catching up with former coworkers (I quit my job and started my own company, btw) with a cute little dinner I through together at my house.  I made a charcuterie board of course, then threw a few homemade pizzas on the grill, and made some negronis and aperol spritz — nothing too fancy.  I also caught up with one of my classmates from law school (I graduated, btw) and accompanied her to pick up a new Chanel bag from the Robertson store.  I’m not a big luxury bag girl, but it was fun feeling the excitement of finally getting off the waitlist through her.  We then went to eat at the Gucci Osteria where I ordered the famed Emilia burger, just because I wanted to get a photo of the box (no shame).

I have plans on meeting up with Adam to get some churros at Churros Caliente this weekend, but I honestly want to bail.  Not because I don’t like hanging out wiht him, but because your girl wants to spend time with her self.

Will update!

[corasdiary]

Entry 002

I made this “fictional” blog mostly to rant, so here goes.

This past year has been a busy and stressful one, with the stress only being amplified due to the current pandemic, racial inequalities, and most recently, the U.S. presidential election, among many many many other events.

Being home, I thought I’d have more time to work on my startup, thrive in my marketing job, and study more for law school, but it just hasn’t been working out.

I wake up at around 6 am to 6:30 a.m. everyday and work until around 9 p.m. to 10 p.m. with the exception of the few hours I give to walk my two babies (dogs), work out, and eat.  Still, I have no time to really relax. To be honest, I haven’t washed my hair in almost four days!  Can you believe?!

FOMO of course has been crazy. Despite being in a pandemic, many friends are out seemingly living their best lives, like hanging out in Tulum, helicopter rides with handsome guys, apre ski parties in Aspen, road trip through New England, escaping stress in Oia.  

Now, I’m not one to really revel in a FOMO state. In fact, this pandemic has made it easier for me because I truly believe that we should be staying in and avoiding unnecessary travels and large gatherings. 

But the thing that has been bugging me is that while I’m seemingly working so much more these days, people aren’t taking notice. 

One of my friends currently shacking up with her boyfriend in Miami for the winter told me to “quit being boring” and come out there with some other girl friends.

You’re probably thinking, “why do you care if people notice?”  But hear me out. Sure it sounds self-centered and selfish of me, but I care because people seem to think I have time so much time on my hands.

BIG pet peeve of mine is when people tell me I don’t even have to work given my parent’s financial situation.  But it’s like, not even about that because: 1) my parents would never let live a life fully dependent on them, 2) i want to be independent, and 3) it really isn't’ always about money!

Not mentioned in my last post, but a son of one of my parents’ friends from Amsterdam has been staying with me as he had just gotten a job working at Compass Real Estate. 

It’s only for a few months until his brother comes down to move to LA and they can find a place together.

He’s a great guy, but I feel like he doesn’t put in enough work around the house as in he doesn’t do the dishes, leaves his things all around, and straight up just stands around while I clean up after him.

He then goes off telling me how he’s “crazy busy” and just “so fucking tired” all the time.  He even had the audacity to tell me that I should just let him know if he’s being messy — this, as his plates, bowls, and leftover protein shakes take up the entire kitchen island.

I hate being confrontational, so to my friends’ advice, I’ve mustered up courage to tell him that he should clean up after himself. His reply was a simple, “for sure.”

YET does he? No.

Now I will say that he isn’t the first of “his kind” that I’ve met. I went to boarding school for high school and that place was full of privileged white males who grew up with maids and nannies who would go travel with them to the Hamptons at the end of every summer season, so I’ve been sympathetic.  A lot of these guys really just didn't’ grow up learning how to clean up after themselves and be responsible.

However, I would think that common sense would kick in after three months of noticing that someone else who is not your maid — and is in fact someone letting you stay at their place — is cleaning up after you.

Anyways, I have to go back to finishing this new campaign for our company’s new client which I was having an absolute hard time doing due to my mind being preoccupied with all the other things I have to do.

Hopefully I’ll get back to posting more often. More interesting things too.

Xoxo,  Best

[corasdiary]

Entry 001

Thursday, September 22 — Los Angeles, California

It’s only 1:36 p.m. and I’m already wanting to take a nap. What happened to the energy I felt yesterday? 

Anyways, I started this blog because my therapist said it would be a great idea to try journaling out my days and exploring my feelings. I haven’t “journaled” since my elementary days when I again was encouraged to explore my feelings—but hey, I have nothing else to do, right?  Aside from the countless law school homework assignments and the overload of work projects I have yet to finish.

No one told me that remote working and learning would be easy, but I just assumed that not having to drive or see people would take away some unnecessary stress in my life. Wrong.

Anyways, here’s what happened over the weekend.

On Saturday, I drove over to Beverly Hills to hang out with my cousins Colette and Margarette—no, not twins—to watch the new Pen15 season on Hulu and go swimming. 

We planned on making Neapolitan pizzas, but ended up ordering takeout from Il Fornaio. 

On the receipt: Their Capricciosa and Cristina pizzas, and their Tagliatelle Alla Bolognese and Chonchiglie Norcina Con Pollo pastas.

I’m still so surprised at how many people are eating out during this COVID-19 pandemic! As much as I love eating out, I’ve personally found a new joy in eating at home and occasionally setting the table in a very extra manner.

I will tell you though, I am often tempted to eat at the new Gucci Osteria Beverly Hills da Massimo Bottura. 

On Sunday, my friend Adam called me up to see if I could help him drive over some of his designs (he’s a Parsons grad) to the Melrose Trading Post on Fairfax, but I was honestly too tired.

Again, law school and work had me very particular about where I prioritize my time. And while Adam was like a brother to me given that our parents knew each other when we were still babies, we haven’t really been that close since he moved to New York.

Sure he moved back to LA a couple years back, but I guess we’ve both just had a lot on our plates.

My other best friend Bella ended up coming over to celebrate her birthday a week early since she was heading off to Texas later in the week for a small family gathering.

I met Bella in undergrad while studying at UCLA. We were both rushing for Alpha Chi Omega, and realized trying to “Seek the Heights” was much more tiring than we thought it would be.  And no, neither of us ended up joining a sorority.

So back to Sunday. Bella and I did a little Malibu hike, successfully made a crepe cake reminiscent of Lady M’s, ordered takeout from Shamshiri (gormeh sabzi and koobideh), and finished watching Las Chicas del Cable.

After she left, I took a nap hoping to finish some homework before today, but ended up waking up at 9 p.m—early enough to walk my dog Leica, but too late to do anything stress inducing.

I wish I could’ve written something more exciting for my first post, but I promise to get deeper in the next coming entries.

I have only a few hours left to finish some cases, so I best stop typing!

Best,

Cora