corneilharris-blog

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Quite a few actually. That's a bit terrifying....I think we're surrounded by devil women. That's why I've got a man. 

I feel you on that one, good sir! I haven’t been able to find my daughter anywhere, but I’m thinking that has something to do with her mother. You haven’t seen a woman with devil’s horns walking around, have you?

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MACKENZIE!

Oh my gosh, you've gotten so big. How are you? All I hear is stuff from Neil and you know how he can be. 

Hey Daddy…

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So Neil's out doing god knows what, Ben decided to go and find the local bookstore, and I haven't even seen my daughter Mackenzie yet!

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Halloween 1995

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KENZIE! I've been looking for you everywhere! Dad's here with Ben!!

He's like super happy too, you've got to see him!

Whoaaa did I just walk into some parallel universe? What’s going on? What’s with all the old people? Well older people sorry.

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'Ello, I'm Cornelius. Or Corny or Neil. Actually yes, Neil. So you're new? Lucky you came just in time to meet everyone's parents. 

So i guess this is the really awkward part where i introduce myself to everyone. Aloha! I’m Rebecca Stiehl. 

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Neil shrugged then walked away, still ready to point out his parents to everyone. "No problem. Carden, right?" Lucas asked. "It's fun to creep them out anyway!" Ben pitched in. "No need to apologize, it wasn't your fault you fell out of her vagina."

"No, I’m sorry." Carden said to Neil, then over to Ben and Lucas. "I’m so sorry about her. You’d think after twenty of dealing with me, she’d be slightly more accepting. But nope. God, I hate that woman. Sorry, guys.”

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"Well that sort of failed now. And my Dads hate her Dad and her DAD HATES ME WHAT DO I DO?" Neil wailed, he had no idea about this relationship stuff.

"I accidentally let your name slip and then I tried to cover it up by saying that she and I were dating and that I didn’t want my mother to find out. I was put on the spot about you. I didn’t want him to cut off your head soon after you two met, but it seems like that’s going to happen fairly soon."

"What do you need me to do?"

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"Cornelius, call me Neil." He introduced himself if she happened to forget. 

"Huh? No, of course not. I'm single." Neil scowled at the baseball capped guy. "I mean I'm sort of dating a girl, but not her." Neil was quite tired of being yelled at by men today and was relived when he saw his Dads walk over. 

Layla looked over at Neil, recognizing him from a very brief interaction they had, but knowing it was possibly the worst time to come over to her considering how overprotective her dad was. “Uh, yeah. I’m Layla..,” she answered him. 

Meanwhile, Layla’s dad glared at him, “What do you want? Are you the one dating my daughter?” 

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"Yeah, they're awesome." Neil smiled, watching them walk off together. "I'm just happy my Dad is fine now. He sort of went on a downward spiral since my mum died. But he's happy now." Neil smiled and squeezed back. He didn't have anything to say, instead he gave her a kiss.

"I really like them both, can I trade one of them out with my own dad?" She smiled to let him know she was kidding before her face turned more serious. "Speaking of my dad, I’m really sorry for his behavior. I’d never let him lay a hand on you, you know," the brunette promised the other sincerely, squeezing his hand.

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"OI, YOU THERE. Layla, right?" Neil asked. He wasn't the best with names but he was going around introducing his dads to everyone at the moment. When the older man turned towards him Neil looked back and responded. "Neil. Who're you?" His dads must've lost him but Neil was still running around.

Layla was curious about who these new house guests would be when suddenly she saw the last two people she ever expected to see, “M-mom? D-Dad?”

Clara smiled widely and asked, “Hi Sweetie! You surprised?” She turned and nudged her husband, who had an emotionless expression on his face as usual. “Sweetie..”

"Layla," he said in a stern voice before turning to see who had just approached them, "And you are…?"

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"WHAT?" Neil screamed in a high pitched voice, he was so confused with this. "SINCE WHEN THAT'S NOT FAR I HAVE DIBS!"

Neil was extremely confused by the man's rumblings but thought nothing of it. "Well hey, it got him away right? NOW FORGET ABOUT THAT I NEED YOUR HELP!"

"DUDE! I TOLD HER DAD THAT SHE AND I WERE DATING. ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?" she exclaimed, bursting into laughter.

"Thanks, I guess. I’m going to go get a drink. I’ll see you later - wait what? Three boys? Excuse me? Brielle is not that type of daughter. I did not raise her to be like that. I’m sure those are all lies. I’m going to grab myself a drink now. I think you need alone time with my daughter right now. I doubt I can help you with this mysterious dad or whatever." Brett walked away. "Oh thank god. Why the fuck would you tell my dad that?"

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@briezy: Advice for you, Melinda. Botox doesn't look good on you.

@CorneyNeil: OHHHHHHH BURN RT: Advice for you, Melinda. Botox doesn't look good on you.

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Neil sat back and watched with excitement. He loved to see his Dads fuck around with pricks like that woman. "See you there, sister." Ben said back. When she took one last look behind, he gave this message to the woman. 

"Well she's quite the character." Neil commented, trying to hold back his chuckles. "Sorry you've got a bitch of a mum." He turned to Carden.

Carden just smiled, watching the two husbands kiss. Props to them for not giving a damn. However, his smile abruptly changed as he heard his mother making sounds of disgust behind him.

"That’s wrong! There are children! How could you-"

Carden decided he had enough of her bullshit. He turned around and slapped his mother. “Mom, shut the fuck up. They’re not hurting you in anyway. They will, however, if you continue to run that mouth of yours. Go find dad. Go.” He ordered, sternly.

Melinda scoffed at her son. It wasn’t the first time something like this had happened, and whenever it did happened she just walked it off. She’d always get back at him, but much later. With one last, “You’re all burning in Hell, I hope you know that.” And then she was off.

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Neil finally let himself laugh along with his Dads, who were amazed by Hadley making the man go away. "Boy you like?" Ben raised his eyebrows and took the hint that it was time for him and Ben to depart as well. "Well, we're going to go and try to find your sister. Enjoy yourselves." Neil was almost singing that his son had finally possibly had a real girlfriend. "Well, that's Dad and Ben. Or other Dad." Neil said with stifled laughter. 

Hadley gave her dad a death glare until he got the hint, stalking off to the drinks table to occupy himself while she talked to Neil’s parents. “Sorry about that. He’s kind of an asshole when it comes to boys I like,” she shruggged, blushing at her open admission to liking Neil. But what could she say? He was likable. 

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"IT IS HER DAD'S A SCARY MAN AND MY DADS SCARED HIM AND I'M NOT SURE WHAT TO DOOOO!" Neil wailed.

"Brett Braddock, that's almost a tongue twister." He commented before almost crying in laughter. "ME? Oh lord no. Your daughters got her hands full with like three other guys."

"Are you okay there?" Brielle wondered if everything was okay. "Is this about Hadley?"

"I’m Brett Braddock, Brielle’s father. Are you the one dating my daughter?" Brett questioned the young man. He was ready to interrogate this boy.

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"Thanks Rosalie, you seem like a lovely young lady." Ben said to her. They were being dragged all around the yard and house by Neil, in his attempt to make them meet all his friends and acquaintances. "Sorry to ask, but have you seen my daughter Kenzie? We haven't seem to see her yet."

Rosalie couldn’t help herself but smile at the excitement of Neil. She barely had ever talked to him and though she felt jealous towards every person in this room who got to see the face of their parents, it made her feel kind of happy for him and the others as well. Especially when they don’t only scream at their parents, not realizing it could might as well be the last thing they would say to them. “Rosalie Crawford. It’s really nice to meet you too!”