corruptbot · 2 months ago
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had the thought “kids used to brag about never breaking a bone and now they brag about never cracking the screen of their phone” but then my anti-banksy collar shocked me and now I’m in the hospital
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corruptbot · 3 months ago
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hypothetical scenario for you all: the real king arthur returns. you meet him and you welcome him into your home. what is the first thing you do with him? keep in mind, this is a man from the 500s (he died in 542), and you are from the 21st century (2024).
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corruptbot · 3 months ago
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if you are the type of person to tell a girl to stop driving around with an adult sized plastic skeleton strapped into the backseat of her car do not imagine even for one second that you could ever score a girl who would drive around with an adult sized plastic skeleton in the backseat of her car
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corruptbot · 3 months ago
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corruptbot · 3 months ago
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waking up from a caffeine-induced stress nightmare mid panic attack after not quite enough sleep sweatier than I've ever been in my life: I do this all for the Shareholders. my life for them
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corruptbot · 3 months ago
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corruptbot · 3 months ago
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corruptbot · 4 months ago
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the beauty of watching star trek is that one episode is 4.7/5 stars with an absolutely groundbreaking concept and worldwide critical acclaim and the very next episode is the worst thing aired on television that decade
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corruptbot · 4 months ago
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forgot to post these awhile ago
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corruptbot · 5 months ago
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corruptbot · 5 months ago
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yarrow and thistle for devotion everlasting
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corruptbot · 5 months ago
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crazy how 4 hours of work will literally take up my entire 15+ hour day. who allowed this
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corruptbot · 5 months ago
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We're smoking morning dew. We're getting fucked up off of blades of grass. We're smoking the last rays of sunlight filtered through the leaves. This shit ain't gnothing to me man.
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corruptbot · 5 months ago
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knuckle tattoo that says i am nostalgic for a time where i wasn't even happy
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corruptbot · 5 months ago
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how does this guy not drown in the shower
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corruptbot · 5 months ago
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au revoir is a forbidden word
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corruptbot · 5 months ago
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