corvidcall - Tumblr blog

[corvidcall]

i need to come up with some new concepts for my daydream cinematic universe

[corvidcall]

got a notification on my banking app that an order was declined because my card is expired.... no it isnt? and looking at my banking up, the card like... doesn't exist. i can't order a new one or verify the info or anything. christ almighty haven't i suffered enough

[corvidcall]

that post thats like this is the reading order for discworld is WRONG first you read the first one you find in a second-hand shop or local library. then you read going postal. after that youre on your own

[corvidcall]

4 total hours spent. fighting for my goddamn life. i finally got it out but i am still taking applications for someone to take me out behind the shed and put me down

i got contacts for the first time and the other day i got them in and out first try and today i haven't been able to get them out and i started having a meltdown about it. would really appreciate it if my body wouldn't just like. suddenly decide that easy things I've mastered are impossible now

[corvidcall]

[corvidcall]

i have been trying to get this contact lens out for THREE ENTIRE HOURS. i didnt even have this much trouble trying it the first time. why cant i do it now? this is a fucking nightmare i wish i didnt have eyes

i got contacts for the first time and the other day i got them in and out first try and today i haven't been able to get them out and i started having a meltdown about it. would really appreciate it if my body wouldn't just like. suddenly decide that easy things I've mastered are impossible now

[corvidcall]

For the last time: Mary Shelley and Lord Byron were friends. She didn't hate him. His death was a very painful loss to her. She didn't write Frankenstein because she was stuck in a house with him and he was an unbearable person. For God's sake, just read her journals and letters.

[corvidcall]

[corvidcall]

tbh i didnt know you were supposed to be jerking off while you look at porn

[corvidcall]

I shouldn’t have to work on account of my big brown eyes and general sweetiepieness

[corvidcall]

interesting how transmascs & transfems alike think losing weight is the answer to pass as our chosen gender.... almost as if fat people are never Truly afforded a passing gender regardless of trans status. as fat people we are never Truly seen as Men or Women. anyway fuck that notion & if u think u need to lose weight to pass that's the devil talking

[corvidcall]

Well you see minors under 25 years old should not be allowed to get gender reassignment surgery because what if they go to the clinic but instead of giving them a normal penis the nurses mess up and give them the evil penis. That's irreversible

[corvidcall]

How Tumblr live should’ve been

[corvidcall]

Gotta be honest, I think bidoof's law is extremely stupid

[corvidcall]

Me meeting a genie: Okay, so my first wish is for 1000 dollars a day, deposited to my bank account without any way of tracing it to anything illegal. I want this money to come from the ten richest people in America (100 dollars each), withdrawn under the guise of nebulous, random purchases and surcharges. It would probably be best to split the money into a myriad of smaller fees, though, to reduce the likelihood of anyone noticing. Got all that?

Genie: um

Me, continuing on without a care: For my SECOND wish, I want you to give me the ability to learn any given phoneme, so that I can learn to pronounce new languages perfectly. If you're willing, it'd be nice if it were a little easier to memorize new languages too, but if that's not cool, I'm perfectly fine doing all the legwork myself I mostly just want to be capable of pronouncing things correctly.

Genie, now staring at me like I'm insane: ......okaaayyy?....

Me: For my third wish. I want to always have great ideas for gifts for people. Every birthday, every holiday, I want to be able to come up with something they'd really like, with enough time to actually get it for them.

Genie, just staring at me

Me: I can provide you with a written document if that would help.

[corvidcall]

i got contacts for the first time and the other day i got them in and out first try and today i haven't been able to get them out and i started having a meltdown about it. would really appreciate it if my body wouldn't just like. suddenly decide that easy things I've mastered are impossible now

[corvidcall]

For decades stoners were renowned for their aesthetics. For their blacklight posters and lava lamps, for their airbrushed dragon murals and electrical shock orb thingies from Spencer Gifts. Then they legalized weed and every weed store became the flattest, emptiest minimalist void imaginable. They're putting a weed store in a former Rainforest Cafe and they're tearing out all of the rainforest decor to make it just a big empty space with walls painted the blandest green they can find. They tore down paradise and put up a place where a business major tries to tell you CDB oil can cure cancer