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[cosimayoun-blog]

a really long, but categorized, ask meme

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[cosimayoun-blog]

FOX.

Fox, the personification of violence, an overwhelming, all-encompassing anger that caught the world in his wreckage, still hid himself. For someone who bore his heart on his sleeve and used his pain as power, there were so many things he still didn’t want the world to see. Cosima, for better or worse, saw those things. She saw Fox at his most broken, beaten, debased. He was a feral beast trapped in a deep well, and she threw down a rope and saved him. He was never afraid to be terrible, to be broken and vulnerable, when he was with her. “Fuck him, fuck all of them. I knew there was a reason I never trusted that piece of shit. Fucker is lower than the blood crusted onto my boot.”

“Don’t know why you bother. ACAB — none of them are worth salvaging. Certainly not worth your fuckin’ time.” It took him a moment to process Cosima’s arm on his shoulder — something about her touch, the way it comforted him and stabilized him, made him feel like a child again. “Do you want to talk about it?” she asked, and his first thought was — “No.” He couldn’t handle opening himself up like that again, not tonight, not when there was so much left to do. He needed to be strong, and he was falling to pieces. “Can we just… sit?” Dropping to the ground, he pulled her with him, and pressed his head against her shoulder. He just needed her to be there. He needed not to cry. He needed to just be still for a moment. “I’m. I’m sorry.”

          “Yes,” she whispered, her hand squeezing his hand. These moments defined the relationship she had with Fox, a constant need almost like an instinct for her; to be there for each other. Perhaps, it was only Cosima that knew of Fox’ lowest points, his most vulnerable parts and fragile memories. She had won his trust and made him family, a concept she disliked due to her own childhood trauma, but this wasn’t about her. It was about him and helping him, making him feel loved like she never was by her parents, showing him what the true definition of what family meant. “Fuck all of them and everything they stand for.” Her voice contained an inspiring tone, one that Fox was certainly familiar with.

          She understood. Cosima knew that it would be hard to extract the verbal explanation of Fox’ feelings, but she understood and when he pulled her down to his side she followed. She would always follow him, anywhere and at any time, always protecting him and always being there for him. Then she heard it; I’m sorry. Her hands rose in the air to cup his head and press it to her shoulder, her entire being showing Fox there was nothing he should apologize for. “Never apologize for things like this. You did nothing wrong, you are not at fault.” It was a combination of sadness and anger that filled up Cosima right in this moment, for whoever dared act like deities in front of the broken ones deserved to perish. “It’s okay. Everything will be okay,” she whispered in his ear, her arms closely keeping his body still, removing his tremors and worries away.

[cosimayoun-blog]

[cosimayoun-blog]

the memeboard series - cosima. @cosimayoun

[cosimayoun-blog]

radio call: open frequency

Marrow: Copy that, Augustus and Pyre.

Marrow: Raven's been hit so her assistance to you is limited, just- just keep on the radio with whoever you can. Doesn't seem like there's many of you left uninjured to provide cover. The most important thing is that you get yourselves out from under fire, hide if you have to.

Marrow: If you feel like you're losing consciousness, that constitutes an emergency update, copy?

Nyena: I'm still fuckin- [STATIC, GUNFIRE] here. Can't see a damn thing out of on-- [STATIC] --still standing which is more than...Fucking move Raven!

Cosima: The extra security is going to take just a little bit more, lockdown will be countered as soon as I override the systems. Copy?

[cosimayoun-blog]

[cosimayoun-blog]

AUGUSTUS.

 “Why shouldn’t I help my crewmates?” Augustus said, his tone slightly defensive. Of course, Cosima wouldn’t be his first choice to spend the morning with, but if she needed help he wouldn’t hesitate to lend a hand. Though it seemed as if she didn’t want any help, she just wanted to berate him. Nothing new. “If you don’t want my help, I’ll just leave.” He moved to grab his bag once more before she mentioned his office. It was foolish of him to think he could get away that easily. 

“Well, if you actually read the messages I send to the crew, you would have seen that I’ve called you there twice.” It was his job to host therapy sessions, but if the crew didn’t decide to show up, he wasn’t about to chase them down the halls. “The point of these sessions aren’t to break you, anyway. They’re to help you.” None of the crew seemed to grasp that, but he didn’t want to fight with Cosima so early in the morning. “Did you ever discuss the interviews with Orion and Fox? I know they were brought up in yours,” he remarked, his eyes falling on the woman once more. The relationship between the three rebels fascinated him, but he wasn’t sure if the interviews would have been brought up between them. Besides, Cosima was abrasive and loved to harass him, but if she needed to talk it was his job to listen.

                                   “Naive.”

          She couldn’t even think of trusting so much once she boarded the Concord for the first time and she wasn’t even close to doing so even now after half a year, but here Augustus was, thinking that there was nothing better but to help them all, to salvage them. Little did he know that some things he couldn’t mend but just trigger. Most of them seemed to like him. For her, the psychologist was another one out there ready to grasp on her insecurities and abuse them. Why wouldn’t he? He was under the Benefactor’s command after all. “Oh, did you? I must have missed them.“ Ever the observant person, Cosima rarely missed a thing. She liked to call it a preference and in this case, she preferred not to see the said two messages. 

A snarl ready at her tongue, she dared part her lips right as he spoke, her words stuck in her throat. The interviews. The nightmare of her stay on the Concord, the one and only event she doubted, a choice she was unsure in. A choice she couldn’t make without breaking a little bit inside and breaking another one too. 

          “No, I’m sure you know them by memory. I’m sure your little notebook has it all written down, the entire thing. How I challenged The Benefactor until they grabbed my heart and what? Spit on it? Squeezed it so hard it died? No, I spat the answer in their face so hard that it hurt. It hurt too fucking much-“ she stopped herself, turning around and pressing her weight on the counter before her. “You can say that I’ve discussed it but I think the song without words we are currently performing is better than confrontation. You have no idea what we’ve been through. That’s the last thing we need right now.“

[cosimayoun-blog]

rebel squad: implosion edition

Orion: No you -- [SHOUTING] -- get out -- I'll be right beh -- [STATIC] -- can't leave others --

ORION: I don't know -- [GUNFIRE] -- longer -- stay

Orion: I knew -- [STATIC] -- loved me really

Fox: Fuck them. FUCK THEM. Take any out you have.

Fox: Oh God, fuck, fuck, fuck. FUCK.

Fox: You can't — you can't fucking — you have to come back to us, I can't lose you — we love you, please, we love you so much, just make it out alive, I need you to come back to us, I love you, I'm so fucking sorry, I —

Fox: [CHOKED] Orion?

Fox: Orion? ORION?

Fox: [WHISPERED] No, no, no, no, no, no, no — GODDAMNIT.

FOX: Orion?

[2 MINUTES LATER]

FOX: Orion, check in when you can hear me.

[2 MINUTES LATER]

FOX: Orion, can you hear me?

[2 MINUTES LATER]

FOX: Please come in, I need you. I need you to be okay.

Cosima: Orion, do NOT make me come out and drag your ass here so I can make sure you're okay.

Cosima: Orion, please, do you copy?

[ 3 MINUTES LATER ]

Cosima: Orion? Please... I-... we need you.

[cosimayoun-blog]

KALLIA.

“I’d like to see them try,” she’s quick to respond, hikes a single brow upwards as she speaks. Though it exists as nothing more than an inanimate object to some, it was her prized possession; a disjointed limb, a wolf’s tooth, a honed dagger. “If it’s twice as important, you wouldn’t misplace it.” She doubts the sentiment, doesn’t believe it can equal the weight of her own belonging, but she stills herself in silence for a moment or so.

“Ever considered how you may have left it behind in Wrotham?” It’s entirely plausible; the sight of dusted knuckles and mottled brickwork still existed within her thought process. She thinks in depth about situations, attempts to improve on a skill which far excels the many. The more she fights, the more she exists as a predator among prey, the more likely she is to be feared. “Maybe it’s still stuck in someone’s skull.”

     “I wouldn’t dare imagine the aftermath of their attempts,“ a slight smile, thrown for a second before turning into a frown. Two women stood in the room, small chatting but sharing much more an invisible eye couldn’t catch. Both of them were warriors in different spheres; independance and strength their armor. 

     “Not an option. It was present yesterday before I prepare my things for the mission. Someone either took it or hid it, and my options equal twelve people.“ Kallia’s reference to their little brawl ignited the ever-burning fire in her heart, the adrenaline in her veins still tingling her core. “I wouldn’t know. Their skulls were crushed to pieces by the end of it.“ A compliment or a simple admiration towards her strength, even though one would expect to see them on opposite sides.

[cosimayoun-blog]

send me 🍷 for an aesthetic of our muses | @cosimayoun & theon 

I’m not beat up by this yet You can’t tell me to regret Been in the dark since the day we met Fire, help me to forget

[cosimayoun-blog]

FOX.

He’d left Pyre with what he could only hope was a broken nose, but Fox himself had been slashed open six different ways, and it felt like he was bleeding all over the place. When he screamed his pain at Pyre’s face, for every voyeur in their crew to watch and enjoy, he spoke his experience in prison aloud — he made it real. He spent a long time trying to fit back into his skin, making his broken, twisted bones fit the way they used to, and when he aired his pain, his skin split again. He felt broken and raw. He would never be the man he was again.

Cosima’s voice alone was enough to bring tears, pricking at his eyes as fast as he could blink them away. He hated disappointing her, betraying her like this — she used to be the only one in the world he could trust, and he had hidden everything that mattered from her. She stood before him, both a foot and a thousand miles away. “Didn’t need patching up. The pig didn’t get a hit in before he turned tail. Bitchass motherfucker.” He ended the sentence with an attempt at a bitter laugh; he could only manage a sigh, breathy and exhausted. “I’ve decided not to let cops kick my ass anymore. It’s my turn now. Feel like I just got out of a ‘take back my life’ seminar or some shit.”

          She resented seeing Fox like this -- a flashback all too fundamental for their relationship. There was once again an Overwatcher involved, but that time it was Fox’ face in bruises and blood. Now, the scars were on the inside, buried deep into his mind. “That’s the spirit,“ she smiled softly, grabbing Fox’ arm and trying to give him comfort. The next logical thing was to heal the wounds Raven never could, the emotional trauma that seemed to be healable only through her words and actions. “It was a matter of time that we got our turn, don’t you think?” Cosima reassured through an effortless but painful smile, “Show them who’s the true force to be reckoned with.“

          “It’s okay, they never understood us anyway,“ she said with confidence, gaze still stuck on Fox. “I talked with Pyre. I tried to beat some sense into his mind, only time will show us if that would be the case. I wasn’t gentle, though. The last thing I want is an Overwatcher reminding us why we hate them so much.“ A pause, filled with tension but serenity; the much-needed space for both of them to clear their minds. “Do you want to talk about it?“ she inquired, voice reduced to a whisper. The last thing Cosima wanted was to make Fox uncomfortable, but it was his pain and wounded soul she wanted to salvage.

[cosimayoun-blog]

PYRE.

Pyre was hoping he’d be able to avoid as many of the crew for as long as he could, keeping his head down while they walked so none could see his face. It still ached from the blow Fox had given him, and at this point, he didn’t even feel as though Fox was completely wrong in delivering it. Pyre had crossed a line he never should have; although Fox was unreasonable, they were a part of the same crew, and it was Pyre’s duty to respect and ensure they got along. No, there would be more consequences, and he deserved every single one. 

Still, he groaned when Cosima approached him, her voice full of anger. He should have expected this, knowing how close she is to Fox; he suspected he should expect Orion to approach him next, a similar anger in them. And yet, he had been hoping not, hoping somehow she’d never know. 

Hoping he didn’t indirectly destroy something with yet another member of the crew. 

“Cosima,” he sighed, shaking his head, not looking to face her head on. He didn’t want to face her, and he wasn’t sure that he could. “Just leave me alone–I don’t need it from you too. I get it.” 

          Cosima clicked her tongue, head shaking. In the last six months, she grew to see something, even if little, redeemable in Pyre. For her, Ovewatchers were nothing but an enemy. They used to chase her, they used to chase everyone and everything she fought for and that was nothing they would understand. For some reason, however, she believed Pyre understood her even if faintly -- but seeing what occurred in front of her eyes just moments ago completely changed her mind.

“No, you don’t get to dodge that.“ She moved forward, now closer to him. Her voice wasn’t mirroring Fox’ biting words when they were in each other’s paws clawing their faces off; there was something tranquil in it like a silence before the storm. 

“You don’t get it. You never will.“ she continued, crossing her arms in front of her chest. “Break the fucking law. It was a funny little sentence you used back there. It’s the reason I know you don’t get it. You see, in your eyes, or dare I say, in your leaders’ eyes, we are nothing but that. Breakers of the law, criminals, sewer rats that are to be destroyed. You are oblivious of the rea truth.“ Cosima stopped for a second, tilting her head and looking up to the sky for a moment before setting her gaze on Pyre.

“What Fox told you today is the least of what he has been through. Even I didn’t know what had happened to him in the place your kind decides to condemn us in. But we don’t break the law because we want to; we break it because we want to change it.“ A spark was dancing on her tongue, her monologue already too long but the passion strong. “We never had homes which fueled our dreams in becoming Overwatchers or corporation leaders -- we were fucked by them. We never had the protection most of the prized citizens had. We were doomed to misery because they stole from us, the ‘vermin’, so they can keep themselves rich.”

          “Now tell me -- are we still criminals? Or are we people looking for a change? Telling me that your pristine bosses never killed or did crimes to preserve ‘the law’ will be the biggest bullshit I’ve heard to date.“ Cosima’s eyebrows were raised, challenging Pyre to their best. Her point has been made and she needed no further answer but she was too curious for her own sake.

[cosimayoun-blog]

radio: rebel squad

FOX: Come in, Oriole, come in Gator, do you read? Jackal speaking.

FOX: Figure we could use a break from Benito and the gang, so I set up a channel. If I hear Piggy self-flagellate any longer, I'm gonna shoot myself.

FOX: Oriole, what's your 20? Over.

Orion: I mean giving everyone a broken eardrum is a sweet sort of revenge, cos every time they struggle to hear something, your face will float to mind and they'll curse you

Orion: Also my nickname is really uncreative. 2/10 for effort. 10/10 for pyres though.

Orion: I'm not saying over because I know that somewhere, in a different universe, Benito is lecturing me

Cosima: I hate the over thing, I am currently trying to annoy him as much as possible.

Cosima: Props for Benito's and fucker Piggy's nicknames, 11/10.

[cosimayoun-blog]

radio: group 2 power rangers

Marrow: Cosima, how 'bout you start with getting us access to the layout of this place, instead of fucking around on the comms? Over.

Cosima: Maybe if you didn't pressure me so much, I would've done it before we even arrived. I always prefer a good banter chat while I do my stuff. Anyway, it's done, check your devices.

Cosima: Ov-........

[cosimayoun-blog]

radio: group 2 power rangers

Theon: Not just Marrow at this point. Over.

Cosima: Two rabbits with one bullet. Fucking perfect.

[cosimayoun-blog]

radio: group 2 power rangers

Theon: Your motion tracker is still not activated, Ms. Youn. I'd suggest you turn it on or we might lose you in the facility. That would be a pity. Over.

Cosima: You think I'm not aware?

Cosima: Motives, motives. Over.

Cosima: I'm gonna continue speaking after over, just to annoy Marrow.

[cosimayoun-blog]

radio: group 2 power rangers

Marrow: Cosima, you say 'over' when you're done speaking.

Marrow: Team 2 is already tracking east, and once everyone's got their armor properly calibrated, we're moving west. That's all we've got to work with. Keep your eyes open for anything that looks like it might be our intel, or might lead us to our intel, and we'll do this quick and quiet. Over.

Cosima: Quick and quiet is too restricting. Over?