cosmic-ouch

[cosmic-ouch]

U.S.A Trip/Weekend Up North- Part 2/ CA

First off, if you haven't read the first part, here it is.

Saturday morning, Cozy and I woke up to the sound of heavy rain and thought to ourselves our plans for today were ruined. As much as I felt bad for it, I honestly felt joy creeping up my spine (Don't know why but, rain, clouds, gray skies, and everything with ‘crappy’ weather, that is not the blazing sun, makes me feel I’m in a state of euphoria.) What added to that feeling was our very British breakfast with crumpets and tea. The proper British experience!

We had a lovely conversation, in which we got to know each other a little better. (without revealing anything private, I'll just say this: if I previously mentioned how cool Cozy is, that day, I just got proof she’s the coolest. 😎) As dodgy as the weather is- in San Francisco, especially those days, it stopped raining! We caught glimpses of the sun beaming at us with all its might, and decided to give this day a chance, so we got dressed and drove to our first destination, (oh shucks Cozy, I can't find the notes you gave me, and I don't remember the name of that particular place)

It was marvelous!

Dammit San Francisco it’s like you're whispering in my ear everything that's good about you and I love, demanding I should stay with you curled up in bed under a massive layer of blankets made out of clouds and mist.

After some complimentary snaps of the stunning panoramic view, we drove to the national park MUIR WOODS.

If you love nature (and you happen to be in the San Francisco area) don't skip  an opportunity to walk inside a magical woodsy land!

All those trees are humongous! I never seen trees that big before (and I've seen LA’s Grove Xmas tree!(;) I forgot to pack my measuring tape at home, so as a rough estimate, I’d say each and every tree is about a gazillion feet tall.

You feel so inferior and so unimportant; you forget all your troubles and you  soak up the smell of trees right after it rained,and the fresh air; you keep quiet (also, phones are not allowed) you are one with nature. Nothing to distract you.(except maybe a bunch of wondering millennials, who express their boredom constantly, and very loudly) You feel like those trees surrounding you, are here to protect you from all harm. Much like a family. A family of trees.

It got dark and we were getting hungry. we drove to a fancy Mexican restaurant, relatively- nearby ( I ordered a burrito the size of my face and, I think, cozy ordered something that looks slightly like a sleeping taco. yumm!) And got home right after.

THE NEXT DAY..

Sunday was stormy, really stormy, so we didn't get out of the house, until later that day to watch Interstellar in the cinemas (awesome movie btw). While at home we just watched a bunch of Craig Ferguson stand-up and some other stuff I don't recall. I'm glad we stayed home because it forced me to unwind. (I know it's ridiculous to say that when traveling, but actually it's very stressful at times.) I wrote my very last ever journal entry of this trip. Apparently I'm very bad at it. If you could see my journal you’d see a 150-page notebook in which only 6.5 pages of it are full with doodles and halfly formed sentences. Disgraceful. 😏Before bedtime I packed my mess of a suitcase, because tomorrow I was flying back to LA.

AND THE NEXT DAY...

Cozy had to leave for work, early in the morning, so she kindly offered to drive me to the ferry even though there was traffic already. ♥︎ We said our sad goodbyes and hugged it out quick enough for me to catch the ferry in time.

I had some time before my flight so I took a stroll to Pier 39. I could hear the sea lions calling from the distance. They are the cutest meat sacks of the sea, they're just chillin and occasionally scratching their backs with their tales.

After a cup of coffee to wake my ass up, I started looking for Powell St. train station (that gets you to the airport.) I don't know how that happened, but I looked in the map.. and it seemed fairly close by, so I started walking. ..and walking and walking and walking. I got lost! if you look at security footage of the streets I was walking, I wouldn't be surprised to find out that I was walking around in circles for a while. Across the street I've noticed a cop so I asked him the way. He was very kind to me and showed me (on his phone!) the right way and suggested I'll take a bus to the train station because it's a lot of walking. This time I was looking for the bus!.. but couldn't find it (or a taxi for that matter) so I decided just to go straight. I must be getting somewhere at some point. This was a huge mistake! though it worked... I mean I'm not that stupid.. I knew SF is all hills and slopes..AND YET I walked about 3.5 hours with a suitcase and a backpack with me. It was a cold day, about 10c*, but I was burning up. At one point I just took off most of the layers I had on me and stayed with just a tank top. (No, I did not take my trousers off you dirty minded people) By the time I reached Chinatown everyone looked at me weird, because it started raining, and I was still half naked. haha

Eventually, after conquering every hill and almost getting run over by my own suitcase every slope, I got to the train station; and barely making it to the gate in time. As I flew over San Francisco I was a little bit mad at the city for making me do sports when I really didn’t want to, but still very happy for the time I spent with Cozy. all is forgiven.

Thursday, December 2, 2014, the day I was waiting for; what this whole trip was all about..  it was finally going to happened. Tomorrow.

I know you probably want to stab me with pitchforks for being the slowest blogger in history, but it's finally going to happened.

Next post is all about THE LATE LATE SHOW WITH Craig Ferguson extravaganza!  

For previous posts go here!

[cosmic-ouch]

U.S.A Trip/Weekend Up North- Part 1/ CA

Couchsurfing across America was kind of stressful mainly because nothing was ever certain. Ever.  A potential host can tell me, at any moment, that I can't stay with them. Though I always thought my backup plan would be a cheap motel, I never wished to get to that situation because that way my savings for this adventure would run pretty quickly. My host at the time, the quirky man-child, pretty much gave me a day warning.  I was supposed to stay for the weekend at his place and then move out with my huge suitcases to my second host (which will be willing to welcome me only from Sunday evening) but then he told me I can’t stay because.. I don't know.. something with his family.. I can remember...or I don't care. Maybe a little bit of both.

Luckily, I spoke to Cozyhobo (a gorgeous and splendid RSA member) about potentially coming over to San Francisco for a few days, just before I left Israel.  That angel, not only saved my ass from living in the streets of LA (I'm emphasizing for dramatic effects) but also was the greatest most welcoming person I got to meet on that trip. But I'm getting ahead of myself. My second host agreed to keep my gigantic luggage safe at his place till I come back from San Francisco, so I wouldn't need to carry it around.  He kindly gave me a lift to the airport, which was good for me because I was still a wee bit hungover from last night’s party. Before boarding the plane I sent Cozyhobo this picture so she could spot me when I land. (oh yeah, for a huge chunk of my trip I couldn’t make calls, I  could only trust public WiFi) 

 The airport in San Francisco is really weird, I must say.  When I got off the plane I went straight ahead following everyone else; and if Cozy didn't spot me then, I would just carry on walking and probably end up in the Canadian border (I know it's impossible, just go with it).  I'm very happy she found me. :)

Can you imagine two people from different sides of the planet, different continents.. countries, end up meeting each other upon their common love for a certain underrated Scottish dude? I still can't believe that.

I'm imagining a parallel universe where I never knew of TLLS, (which is very easy to un-notice in my country, really) thus never got to meet you Cozy (and many other RSA). And I'm so very grateful that it is, in fact, this universe, that I got to meet you, and spend a few days with you Cozcoze. You're an awesome person and it blows my mind, over and over again, that I can say  “Hey I know this chick from San Fran..” oh, how easily we could have lived our lives and never meet each other. 

I love you, and I'm very honoured to call you my friend!

 We got to the parking lot and then- our venture begun.  ..not before we found the car. ;) Cozy made me a map and wrote down some cool places I /or we should go. She suggested we’ll explore the city first, unfortunately I landed during San Francisco’s rush hour(s) so it was jammed almost everywhere! We were looking for parking lots but they were unbelievably full, and when they had a spot open it was like paying for a standard room at the Ritz. Weekend fare. When the Queen is in town. (there are lots of queens in SF.. but I'm talking about the mother fucking Queen E. the II)  We we're looking for places to eat and ended up in Chinatown/Little Italy. I can't remember what we ate but we ended up discussing vegetarianism. I was fairly fresh into the game, and she had been a vegetarian for quite a while; so she gave me a very helpful advice on meat supplements and delicious dishes I can make. She truly was one of the first people to help me make that transition. Right after our meal, we ditched the plan to stroll the city and ended up having so much fun ‘in the wild’.I’m glad we didn’t stay. Traffic chased us everywhere we went, though.  We made it to the Palace of Fine Arts, through Fort Mason. And boy, was I charmed..

I could have stayed there forever.   But then I think I've mentioned I’ve never been to the ocean before, any ocean tbh. (The Mediterranean is nothing but a giant salty pool if you think about it) We drove to somewhere near the Holocaust Memorial, and to get to the shoreline and see the fjords..all we had to do was pass this grassy bit.

 Little did we know- it was an active golf field!

 Actually we knew, we were not certain if it was safe to cross it, though.

We looked at each other with a grin and said something like:

“the hell ..”

and crossed it running and laughing at the same time. 

(side note: I think Craig said something about people at Golf courses in the cold open that same week) 

I never thought the sound of a golf club hitting a ball would be so intimidating. We were about to finish crossing it when I heard the dreaded: *FAPPP!* THE BALL LANDED JUST CENTIMETERS (OR INCHES) AWAY FROM OUR PRECIOUS HEADS. We couldn't stop laughing for the rest of the day. We got to the ocean and I dipped my toes in for a minute before a wave almost came and washed me. It was getting dark and it started to rain so we got in the car and drove through the magical looking mist (well it was magical to me.. I’m sure locals hate it) back home.  We had a stormy night. all bundled up in blankets we were watching TLLS and some other fun stuff with hot tea and cookies before bedtime. (btw, I slept so good that night! When it's really stormy outside my sleep is at its best)

For previous posts go here 

[cosmic-ouch]

U.S.A Trip - 1st few days / CA

Even after being there I can’t believe I’m actually able to write these words down in past tense. I’d more likely to believe I’ve been in a coma for more than a decade, invented a whole new life story (with amazing details, plot holes and fascinating people) than what actually happened!

The Flight

I’ve been lucky enough to have the luxury of traveling abroad before, but never that far away from home. Some 15 damn-sleepless-hours away. But I ain’t complaining… <_< I mean, it was an amazingly horrid flight, small seats even for me (the mini version of a human lady), loud annoying babies, boring movie choices on a tiny screen, stinking food, motion sickness, and the fact that the air I was breathing after several hours has traveled and met everyone else on the plane.. multiple times. just disgusting. But I’m not complaining.. I am on my way to the land of the free!

And I survived, miraculously! But the hard part was still ahead of me.

Immigration officers

Remember the bloody visa, and what I had to go through to get it? Yeah well, apparently the guys at the airport can decide to revoke your access at any time, and send you back home..on any fucking reason they think is a good reason.

and you can’t argue with them either or else you’ll be deported for life. Piece o’cake right?

No matter who you are and what you do for a living, when you get to the intersection, at any US airport, when all the Americans go straight ahead to baggage claim and all the non-americans line up in front of the immigration officers, you immediately feel you have done something terribly wrong and start wondering whether that gum you stole as a kid will be enough of a reason to send you back home. When I was in line I met an Irish father(James) and son(Fergus)…[they were sooo adorable!] they told me horror stories of people they knew who got deported. The line was quite long so we had the pleasure to get to know each other a little. James had a thick Irish accent so it was a bit of a struggle for me but luckily young handsome Fergus was more understandable. When I mentioned that one of my plans was to see Craig Ferguson, James made a weird voice with his mouth kind of like a whale cry, I assume. He told me he met him once at a pub and he actually had a Bing Hitler vinyl somewhere in the attic. Then he said “I like ‘em a lot, even though he left de ol’ country.”   Fergus wasn’t sure who he was, though.   I suggested they’ll come to a LLS taping one day if they had free time, and maybe we’ll meet again. (spoiler alert- we never did :( ) We got to the front of the line eventually and said our goodbyes and good lucks, I wanted to give them a hug, to be honest, but it was probably inappropriate. I got to the immigration guy, he set inside a concrete fortress looking down at me, with his big, judgey, ratty eyes.

I summed the situation for you- (It felt like trying to get in a fancy nightclub, and the bouncer outside is an asshole) It was terribly unpleasant but I made it without a scratch. Now! I'm officially in the United States of America!  **queue the balloons and white doves**

LA/ Warm Welcome

When I first stepped out of the airport I thought I might sense something different; I always imagined I would. I mean, don’t we all? back me up here fellow travelers! A different…vibe. But I didn’t. Not for a long while. Here’s a shocker for you: most of California is a lot like Israel in sooooo many ways. especially Los Angeles. LA is basically home to me. The sidewalks, the trees, the people, some of the buildings, the weather and yes.. the occasional droughts. The only thing that led me to believe I’m “not in Kansas anymore” was the conversations I had to have,they were all in English.

Couchsurfing based trip

This is one of the first choices I made about this trip. Here’s some information on Couchsurfing. Now, you be careful out there! -As all things ever (and especially the internet), this site too, has some dodgy members who use the site to get some..action. So use with caution!

My first host actually was my worst. He had an old big house in a rich neighborhood. The area around the house was mind-blowingly amazing, like the typical neighborhood you see in movies. Halloween decorations were still up, green grass everywhere (which I don’t get, aren’t you supposed to be having some sort of a drought atm?). On the other hand, the old house smelt like old people’s fart, untamed gas and death. (no relation) The boy who hosted me, was an ultra-super-extreme quirky geek. don’t get me wrong, I like geeks.. it’s just all about moderation. Imagine a common person like.. Han Solo. Now imagine Palpatine and Yoda’s love child.. OK I admit. that's a bad example but.. you get me know.  A mothaflippin’ geek. He’s ok..I guess. I’m not sorry we met, after all- it’s an experience.   Also, he invited some other Couchsurfers + hosts for a vegan Thanksgiving dinner party (which was awesome btw), and I got to meet some of his friends from San Diego that later became my hosts over there! It was a weird week but I got to do so many things (a whole bunch of firsts),some of them were great: Day 1-  Jet lag, rest + eat, repeat. Day 2- Universal Studios. (most unnecessary and expensive..just stupid-don’t do it!!!) chinese theatre + walk of fame  oh..and my first taco EVER!

I was like Cathrine at first:

Day 3- Deliberately got lost- walk around LA with a general direction of where I wanted to be. Quick visit to Ralphs- fresh fruits for the whole day (which I devoured in 2 hours), a stop at La Brea Tar Pits and finally, find myself in front of the CBS building, *in small prints* The Grove and Farmers Market (which are great in their own way).

it’s just…

“I’m here..I made it.”  *Beautiful Christmasy music playing in the background*

  I can't express how emotional I was at that moment, only a few of you know the feeling. and oh god, I’m not even aware of what’s coming at me yet!!  

Right after that picture was taken i’ve decided I should  probably head home.   It was getting dark. My phone died so I asked people around and made it back home safely. It was kind of hard at first since LA people rarely walk anywhere at all. all in all, awesome day! Day 4- Griffith Observatory and Griffith park with fellow travelers, just wow!        -if you ever come to Los Angeles you must go there!

 On our way back home we stopped at “Amoeba music”...dude.. heaven! I bought 3 records and got a free guitar pick which is awesome though I have plenty. Also in the evening we went to Trader Joe’s to get some stuff for the  Thanksgiving party. they had stands inside offering the most delicious samples of pumpkin pie omg! I ate..about 4.. ok 6. Another girl traveler and I went in circles around the store, nonchalantly passing the stand over and over again- greeting the stand lady every time with a different accent.                                We might've drank a whole bottle of tequila (on an empty stomach) before entering the store, might have! posh English, southern, Australian, German French and Spanish...it was the most fun I had since I landed. We laughed so hard the pumpkin pie almost came out of our noses.

Day 5- My First Thanksgiving! My host didn't feel so good so his friends asked me to join them for a little stroll around and the neighborhood. It was a beautiful sunny day not too warm but not too cold, just perfect. This time we used our feet to get around. They told me things about California and LA, and in return I told them about my plans in America and.. obviously- taught them cuss words in Hebrew, as you do. The Thanksgiving party was that night. 

We came back to start cooking for the party. but before that my host took me to the roof and showed me around the house-the day I’m leaving, (I told you he was weird) the freakiest part was when he showed me the basement and told me horror stories about his family, which in one of them included and an uncle buying 2 fetuses in a jar from the circus.. And then showing it to me. ew. (american horror story much?) 

Luckily one of his friends called us to help in the kitchen.  When we got almost everything ready, I got dressed, packed my stuff back inside the suitcase and came back right to the dinner table. We dined like kings and drank like hobos.. And partied.  I don't know why I didn't think about the aftermath of drinking so much; considering I had to catch a flight the next day. I was Hammered pretty badly, at one point I had to lay very still, my head was spinning like million tiny cars came crashing in high velocity towards each other, multiple times, from different directions.  Even then it didn't help very much. And I couldn't stand up because I’d definitely crash into sharp things with my face.  I think it might have been bad alcohol, cause it had the same effect on at least one other guy..that I know of. With a little help of (barrels of) water I regained clarity. thank heavens. 

The next day I had a fight to catch, destination: San Francisco.   Host:? 😏 ..+HOLY MOTHER..IT’S THE BIG THING .

-Tell you all about it next time.

(hopefully sooner rather than later. thanks for being patient with me. I’m so busy lately..moving abroad is a tough bitch. and sometimes,when I have so much to do I get paralyzed. I don’t like it, I wish I knew how to stop it :( It’s not on purpose, that’s what I mean.)

For previous posts go here.

[cosmic-ouch]

Getting an american visa- part 1.5.2

ugh I'm sorry for not keeping this blog on while I was gone for two months,to what I discovered during the process to be THE BEST TIME OF MY LIFE! 

so let's get on with the story..shall we?!

Ingredients for an American visa

1. Interweby forms: Non-of-yr'damn-business / INSULTING and/or almost-completely ridiculously stupid kind of questions. (For example here are some gems: how much money do you make? did you work as a kid? were you a child-slave? were you molested as a child? do you have any plans to harm anyone whilst we grant you our permission to stay in our great-gun-horny-'Merica? are you a member of an unspecified terror group? are you a tourorist?haha see what i did there? no, but srsly.. are you????- I'm paraphrasing of course! chill FBI. but basically how else would you get the gist?)   2. Non-appealing to the eye profile picture: see details below.

Unless you find it extremely arousing when people look like the wrinkly butch female spud version of Elvis. (which I'd be lucky to achieve at later stages of my life but not at the moment, I hope) Seriously if I ever get married (not that I want to) I AM DEFINITELY booking one of those photographers to make all the guests look hideous while I’ll have my own Joe McNally.  Why,I say,I say.. i'd be the most fabulous bride of all time! guaranteed! *evil laughter* -btw that yellowish thing over 'my head' is not piss I'm just being lazy fixing ‘that’ experiment. (Although now that I think about it, it might have actually made the picture BETTER if I had piss all over my face.) If you want to know here are the requirements for spudface results. - You're welcome (insert your favorite lady magazine here)!

3. Embassy Day or what is more commonly known as Doomsday:  After submitting the forms and mugshot you pay unreasonably high amount of money for a tiny piece of paper (aka the visa) be made(/or not- yes, that’s right! you pay either way) and for the people at the US Embassy to interrogate you. You schedule an 'appointment' online, and if you're lucky and someone else had canceled you'll have an appointment in no time, and sometimes it might take up to a month to get it. I was amongst the lucky.  Very lucky, if taking in consideration I wanted to see TLLS being taped, in person before Craig and the gang would leave.. and I had to plan everything under a month.

Fast forward to the day of the appointment- woke up really early and couldn't eat anything, nor drink out of nervousness. as i've felt all week.  Some people actually told me that my chances to get a visa, being my age, are very very VERY low..”so don't sweat it”. yeah...that didn't help.

I've managed to get dressed somehow with my 'impressive job interview clothes’, which includes a pair of jeans, a t-shirt and a buttoned shirt on top,   applied some makeup after repeating the mantra: Fuck this shit, I'm fabulous and I'm getting that fucking visa!

Got to the Embassy, eventually(!) after taking a train a local bus and walking around the block a couple of times.  I found a remarkably ugly building. at the entrance and basically in every room you enter there's at least one guy with a gun in a 'ready to shoot' position. The moment you enter the building you feel like an inmate.

like, 'We're going to assume the worst and then we’ll see...if you don't mind.' You can't bring anything inside only some papers.  that's it! After security check, which I will not specify for my own good, You stand in a long queue of confused people, waiting for orders.  First stop- FINGERPRINTS.    Nothing in the world says "I trust you" like taking fingerprints out of someone you never met before, the moment they come in the room.  there were some other disgraceful stops..I don't wanna talk about it..(cause they're boring not cause I've been molested.) 

 let's get to the point of this post!

THE INTERVIEW 

I'm standing in line, trying to think of something awe worthy to tell the interviewer/interrogator..(something that will blow their minds, literally, so I could get a visa based on the fact I just witnessed someone die in front of me)      ..then suddenly this guy starts yelling at me out of nowhere to move to the next cubicle. ok, ok chill mothafaka' chill, I'm sure you had horrible childhood with your parents yelling at you all the time and stuff but please save your energy to do something more productive, like crocheting. sir. So I'm at this booth, and inside it there's a nice lady smiling at me. wtf why are you being nice to me?! I thought suspiciously.  She basically asked me some questions to see what am I going to do in America, and if I have any "intentions to stay". She went silent (looking at the papers I gave her) for what it seems to me as a year passing by, but probably was like 10 seconds in real life. Then she lifted her head, looked right into my eyeballs and smiled again, (oh no oh no oh no..)

"You got the visa, have a nice stay!" :D "....what.. do.. you.. mean?"  "YOU GOT THE VISA!" "oh... really? thank you!" :DDDD  after a few minutes: "ermm, you can go now..you'll get the visa in a week"  

And out I went!  All I wanted to do is scream at anyone who knows me:

I'M GOING TO AMERICA!!!!!!!

Unfortunately I had NOTHING on me -and by that I mean my phone- to tell the news to the world, But when I got home I tweeted, I texted, I blogged, I called, I farted..(probably) and I made sure everyone knew, because I'm doing this and I'm not backing down!

'MERICA I'M COMING FOR YA!

On the next few posts..

It'll be all about my trip(!!!), so sit down, relax, get comfy pour yourself a glass of (whatever you like to drink) why don't you, because it's going to be a rollercoaster! ..no wait, that’s a bad metaphor.. cause you'll spill your drink..no wait! actually it is the BEST metaphor! 

Here's my previous post on the subject:

Getting an american visa- part 1.5 Getting an american visa- part 1

[cosmic-ouch]

Getting an american visa- part 1.5

Now, where was I?

Ah, right.

the visa!

-First, I must warn you. This isn’t the right way to spend your college funds. it really isn’t. It’s the most stupidest thing I’ve ever done, or will do, actually.  *Unless you are in a possession of a golden-caviar-deep-cleansing-soap for your “non-operated” nasal pores (disgustingly rich is what i’m saying) I DO NOT RECOMMEND YOU’LL DO THE SAME! but then again..

so do whatever you like

O’right, now that’s out of the way, I shall move on with the story. Once upon a time lived a wee lass, in a distant land of loonies and constant tension. The place had no taste nor class, so the little wee gal escaped to the enchanted comedy mansion. ...(some stuff deleted).

so yeah- the visa, It took me months to actually apply for the thing, and that’s not very wise if you take under consideration that the whole process might take ages as well. but I did it eventually!  I didn’t tell anyone about it; not my new boss (which asked me if I had any plans to travel any time soon, in the job interview),not my friends or interwebely friends(at least at first), and not even my dear family. First thing you have to do is apply online, sign some forms and take an unflattering picture.  Sounds easy, right? 

to be continued… Getting an american visa- part 1

[cosmic-ouch]

Getting an american visa- part 1

Most of you know me as Learbeer which right there tells you just a wee bit why I wanted to get the bloody visa in the first place. It all started when Craig Ferguson announced he's leaving TLLS, I (as many others) was crushed, I felt abandoned. I went through all stages of Robo-Skelie grief: denial,

anger,

bargaining,

depression

and acceptance  

And in the end, I've decided to actually do something about it. I'll gather ALL (well, most of it..I am still Jewish you know) my savings and see if i can spend it on a trip to the US of A! To not appear like a complete mental case, I planned it to look like I'm simply going on holiday, with a side note of visiting CBS Television City.  

ALL I had to do now was to get a visa...

to be continued...

[cosmic-ouch]

First post

ought to be meaningless.