cosmicfleaux - Tumblr blog

[cosmicfleaux]

It's been 7 years.

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Hi if you ever find yourself in a relationship saying anything along the lines of "well I can't leave cause I would never be able to find something better than this because I'm trans/fat/aging/antisocial/unlucky" I beg of you to run. Please. You can find and build better but in order to do that you have to take the first step out the door. You do not have to endure abuse, mistreatment, or just plain incompatibility for the sake of a fraction of happiness. You don't.

[cosmicfleaux]

June 9th update. Please don't skip.I don't want to lose my sister to the foster care system. share please. (Black lives matter)

I am taking care of my 7 year old sister. I don't want to lose her again in the foster system. Due to her parents being in jail and doing drugs. I really need help keeping her housed and making I have transportation for her. I have the rest of this month to come up with the rent out I will be kicked out. I need help getting car parts as well. please if you have anything to spare please donate. please do it for my little sister. I'm mentally drained by how stress I am. I'm not sure if i can throw her a birthday party this month due to everything being so high in prices.

Goal: 870/1550

Venmo Queenloki89

Cash app $Queenloki89

[cosmicfleaux]

has anyone noticed theyre taking away what it means to be human

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I think what low support needs people get wrong when they feel invalidated by the terms low support needs vs high support needs is that they think "low support needs" implies "insignificant support needs/no support needs". But that's not what it means. Every disabled person has support needs. Just because they are on the low end compared to certain other disabled people's, that does not imply that they aren't real and valid. Someone else needing more support than you doesn't imply that your disability isn't a real disability

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Thank you to my wonderful friends and family for supporting me. I am so grateful for the love in my life. Please keep sharing!

[cosmicfleaux]

The Sun and Leo in the Houses

Please consider donating or sharing my gofundme to help pay for my top surgery copays and deductibles

Thank you! Trans Rights!

Aries Rising/ Leo 5th House: Fun, dynamic, playful, full of energy, socializing provides energy, new people and experiences bring joy, self-expression is important to these people, not ones to be held down, strive in authority positions, great leadership, group oriented, compassionate, willing to give to those in need, great connection to inner child, nothing is more important than laughter and having fun

Taurus Rising/ Leo 4th House: Large family, close family, overbearing family, regeneration happens in the home, big changes to family dynamics over the lifetime, becoming the breadwinner, expected to take care of the family, hard workers, family first, strong traditions, oldest child syndrome, taking on responsibilities at a young age, growing up to quick

Gemini Rising/ Leo 3rd House: Communicative, humorous, diverse fried groups, diverse knowledge, knowing a little bit of everything, jack of all trades but master of none, designated driver, activist, strong ties to community, strong ties to peers, chosen families, needing your voice to be heard, communication is healing, expressing thoughts and opinions bring joy, debate

Cancer Rising/ Leo 2nd House: Strong values, hard workers, financially responsible, making money brings comfort, having a stable job brings comfort, collecting beautiful objects, beautiful homes, attention to appearance, attractive parents, may over identify with materials, may worry about appearances, critical family, growing sense of self-worth, may believe their worth is tied to what they can provide

Leo Rising/ Leo 1st House: Energetic, humorous, social, thrives when center of attention, concerned with personal beauty, must be heard and seen, leadership, centers beauty, beautiful friends and partners, feeling as though they need to 'prove' themselves, their own worse critic, athletic, physical activity brings relaxation, eventful childhood, connected to inner child, connected to family traditions

Virgo Rising/ Leo 12th House: Quiet, reserved, introverted, critical, finds energy in being alone, retreating to safe space, needs a sacred space of their own, values their alone time, hard childhood, disconnected to inner child, experiences with institutions, jails/ hospitals/ psyche wards/ rehab, an eye for detail, making things comfortable, making things beautiful, keeping the peace, mediator

Libra Rising/ Leo 11th House: Strong ties to friends, chosen family, energy is found when with friends, community oriented, volunteer work, charity work, strives in social settings, good listeners, good communicators, protective of loved ones, protective of identity and community, activism, standing up for those who cannot stand up for themselves, providing comfort to friends, dating friends

Scorpio Rising/ Leo 10th House: High responsibility and expectations from others, growing up too fast, leadership roles, the 'helper', always of assistance, hard workers, saving money, saving face, work may seep into personal life, taking care of others, taking care of family, having to 'look' responsible and well put together for the good of others, good in positions of authority but not taking others authority

Sagittarius Rising/ Leo 9th House: Spiritual, curious, always learning, reading and researching, taking notes and journaling, interested in what is different from them, getting out of comfort zone brings joy, communicating with those from different backgrounds, diverse friends, need to move and travel, nothing can stay the same for too long, always trying to learn more, search for meaning, humor

Capricorn Rising/ Leo 8th House: Attuned to their secrets, private, reserved, introverted, spiritual, strong family ties, beginnings and endings, losing it all and starting over, expected to be responsible for family finances, giving to family, giving others money, others taking your money, hard workers, introspection brings peace, sharing with others gives energy, emotional connections with friends and family

Aquarius Rising/ Leo 7th House: Strong emphasis on partnership, learning more about yourself through experiences with others, relying on partners, confiding in partners, feeling more whole when in a partnership, business deals, making your own business, making your own money with help from others, loyalty, courage to protect partners, may struggle with being alone

Pisces Rising/ Leo 6th House: Health issues, emphasis on health ad routine, hard workers, diligent, making and saving money, health conscious, picky eaters, bad work place experiences, toxic coworkers, work/ life balance, working and making money brings joy and energy, strong connections to animals, strong connection to grandparents/ elderly, family expecting your money, working hard for family

[cosmicfleaux]

It’s very ‘white writers/creators being intrigued with a tough black woman/blaxploitation era aesthetic but not knowing what it would mean to make her remotely three-dimensional, or showing interest in extending her story outside of her usefulness to our white slayer protagonist’

They did it again later with Nikki Wood. They hypersexualized (or at least focused a hypersexualized white gaze on) these characters who went through similar isolation and marginalization due to slayer duties as Buffy, had these characters show some degree of competence at slaying (which in Kendra’s case is assisting Buffy despite what she perceives as an ultimately untenable manner to practice their duty), then killed them in pivotal moments of the canon. I think there was even controversy regarding recasting a lighter skinned black actress to play Nikki at one point. It’s that simple.

Not big on Sleepy Hollow, but I get the impression some of these dynamics played out with Nicole Beharie’s character too. Bonnie from The Vampire Diaries is so ridiculously used as the ultimate mega magical negro too (the actress who played Kendra played her enslaved ancestor too, and my god that show had antebellum appreciation realness all over it). I love my supernatural shows, but JFC the mental gymnastics one has to engage in to enjoy these things or find fewer frustrating racist tropes….

Non-black writers/creators need to grapple with the reality that they are compelled by black women’s power, but they unconconsciously still need to impose limitations on it.

kendra's outfit is completely antithetical to her character and it's been bothering me for 15 years

[cosmicfleaux]

TW PASSIVE SUICIDAL IDEATION

One day, none of this will matter, because a million years will have passed and the galaxy will have reconfigured. And none of this pain will mean anything in the grand scheme of things. I am a speck of intergalactic dust that will mean nothing in a million years time. One day, I won’t remember sitting with the pain that won’t go away even when I took walks and meds and tried to find joy while crying sat underneath the allegedly invigorating sun.

A million years will have passed, then another trillion, and intergalactic dust may hopefully have no memories or pain. Intergalactic dust hopefully doesn’t have to feel anything they don’t want to. Life will be glorious, because in a million years the vessel I occupy will have stopped functioning, and I won’t feel any of this. None of this will matter. One day, none of this will matter, because a million years will have passed and the galaxy will have reconfigured.

And none of this pain will mean anything in the grand scheme of things. I am a speck of intergalactic dust that will mean nothing in a million years time. None of this pain will mean anything. None of this pain will mean anything. No one will tell me I am not alone and expect me to find solace in placating words. No one will tell me to not delete work I simply don’t want the reminder of. I will not be threatened with psychiatric hospitals and forced to talk to mental health practitioners that are tragically incompetent, or threatened with the harshness of surviving on the streets.

A million years will have passed, and my meatsack vessel will have been consumed by organisms that feed on death. Healing is not real, and I will not have to fool myself in believing as much. Suffering is the realest experience on earth. There is fleeting joy that feels stolen from you, and there is suffering that extends into infinity. But that doesn’t have to matter, because in a million trillion years I will be dead, the galaxy will have reconfigured, and no one will have the ability to force me to stay alive anymore.

I won’t have to listen to anyone tell me to not give up anymore. No speck of intergalactic dust feels guilt for not loving people enough to force oneself to be alive. I’ll never feel forced to contain my resentment at how useless it is venting to other people who have no ability to help you. Because a million years will have passed, and none of this will matter. I will be dead in a million years time, and none of this will matter. I won’t be asked to deal with pain that won’t go away. I won’t be asked to heal pain that has no ending. I won’t be asked to go outside and bask in the misery of others. I will be dead in a million years, my cage body turned to intergalactic specks of dust, and I won’t be alive anymore.

I wish I could be honest with someone about how much I don’t want to be alive anymore. And that it could possibly mean anything. But it never means anything. Not when you tell your mother or your grandmother or the person on the crisis helpline or the eighteenth therapist or friend. It doesn’t mean anything now in the grand scheme of things, and it won’t mean anything in a million years when the galaxy has reconfigured and my body has turned to intergalactic specks of dust and none of the events of the last twenty seven years will have ever mattered. It really won’t matter then, so it doesn’t have to matter now.

[cosmicfleaux]

I photographed two unknown souls under a beautiful tree.

Moments of everyday life <3

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I think a lot about how, if the glorious violent revolution happens, every kid with significant medical needs in a hospital where power gets cut will die.

You can decide you're willing to sacrifice your own life, but you don't get to tell everybody else on the planet that they're acceptable collateral damage.

[cosmicfleaux]

like actually for real how do I continue on for the rest of my life

[cosmicfleaux]

Do you want to know how to help the people of the DRC? Go donate money to focuscongo.com, that's one possibility.

You can also donate physical objects in high demand right now, if you have the $ to pay for international shipping prices, and send to this address [10 Avenue Des Messagers, Quartier Les Volcans, Commune de Goma, Ville de Goma, Province du Nord-Kivu, République Démocratique du Congo]. They need just about everything you use in a day to get by.

Clothing, socks, jackets, coats, (All sizes from infants to adults), purses, tote bags, backpacks.

Blankets, pillows & cases, bed sheets

Shoes, (All sizes!)

Cutlery, pots & pans, plates, cups, mugs (preferably plastic for the cups & plates so they don't break during shipment)

Over the counter medication & med supplies: ibuprofen (Advil), hydrogen peroxide, pain killers, bandages, bandaids, hand sanitizer, acetaminophen (Tylenol), cotton balls, gauze, deworming medication, compression wraps, saline solution, topical pain relief (Icy Hot), hydro-cortisone, detail, anti-funga treatment, surgical tape.

Baby formula, vitamins, water purification tablets, lifestraws, hair care / skin care products, pads & tampons, soap, toothbrushes, toothpaste, wet wipes, baby wipes, diapers.

However! If you are in the U.S., you can send (shoes only) your packages to this address in the U.S. [Exile International, Entrance F. 3534 West End Ave. Nashville, TN 37205, United States] which will ship them to the previously listed address, so it's less cost for you!

And finally, you can also go volunteer with Focus Congo! Fill out the application here, and email them at info@focuscongo.com, make sure to attach your resumé / CV, so they assign you to work that best suits your capabilities. Foreverjuicebae / juicebaeinthewild is one such volunteer and she posts regularly about the conditions of Congolese people in the DRC.

Please reblog! Likes don't help, reblogs spread the word.

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Sudanese fundraisers that have yet to reach their goals:

Help Mohamed Evacuate & Finish Education

Sudan War, Help Asmaa's Family

Help Aalaa's Family Escape to Safety

Emergency Fund: Medical, Shelter, & Edu (Sudanese Refugees)

Support Sakina's Family's Journey to Safety

For Sudan: Help support families in Kassab IDP camp

Our home bombarded and destroyed

Evacuate a family from the war

Help Abudjana rebuild after war

One Million Sustainable Pads Campaign

Fight Hunger in Sudan: The Khartoum Kitchen appeal

Help Randa's Family flee war in Sudan

Help my family escape Sudan's war

Sudan Emergency Medical Appeal- Help Children & War Victims

Join the effort to save Jameela and her family!

Help ThomaSerena recover from war

Escaping Hell: A Family's Fight For Survival

CAIRO SUDAN AID

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hey guys please give what you can https://ko-fi.com/emilygwen

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They should invent a chapped lip that doesnt bleed when u tear the skin off for recreational purposes

[cosmicfleaux]

I want to die in Gaza. I'm not very interested in my life, but please don't let me see my sisters and brothers die in front of me. Please help us evacuate them from Gaza. There isn't much money left to evacuate them. Please donate and share the campaign..