cosmicsnowleopardcrusader

[cosmicsnowleopardcrusader]

I was trying to find my horse to leave this enormously vast mountain of a house in the middle of nowhere. Trey was there and we felt this intense connection seeing each other again after some time. He was totally different- he showed none of his goofy side and showed all of his serious / lovey / missing me side. My mind is weirdly merging Joe Birge and Trey right now (interesting how I’m always dreaming about ex boyfriends).

I was doing everything possible to find my horse so I could leave because I was having ‘moments’ with Trey where we almost kissed and went further but we had this understanding that he was with another girl (actually a guy and a girl) and that all we could do was hug and savor that moment. I kept trying to scale this huge brown mountain to find my horse (there was a whole ass nice house with tunnels and layers and water chamber mechanisms inside the mountain). At one point I saw on the side of the mountain a tiny red sign that said “open” on this tiny clear window-sized door. I opened it and said “no way” because it was the tiniest tunnel into darkness. I was like… nah I’m not gonna find my horse this way lol. And then Trey was like don’t worry we’ll find your horse— we put her safely in the horse water chamber (like those cryogenic tubs humans can lay in with zero sound). I remember thinking… damn this whole mountain house estate is rich as fuck! All the sudden I was climbing up the mountain and I found this huge open water chamber in a half-egg shape (or actually maybe more conical shape) with animal energies swirling around inside. The animal heads were sorta in tact but their bodies were blurred and swirling around coming in and out of material existence inside the water. I remember a leopard, a shark, a hippo I think? And I dove in the water thinking I would be safe bc the animals aren’t physical enough to eat me or hurt me. It was just their energies I was with. I think I thought my horse was in there but she wasn’t.

Then I found Trey’s new girlfriend in a crazy huge laundry quarters area and the vibe was awkward bc I knew she knew I dated Trey and that we were talking a lot while I was there at the mountain. I asked her if she knew where my horse was so I could gtfo and let everyone keep living their life. Trey found me on the mountain again and we embraced and he seemed so remorseful and so sad and so in love with me. I was feeling just as in love with him too and his seriousness and lack of jokes were making it so real / hard to leave him. I remember us flying around and hovering in the air at one point. And then I found a chute down the mountain where I ended up outside at the base and I looked around and saw many other huuuuuuuuge mountain sized piles of dirt as if the entire gigantic neighborhood was also about to build a huge city in the mountain next to Trey’s mountain. Trey’s mountain was the first one developed on the block. At the base of the mountain it looked like several shacks with palm leaves as roof coverage. I remember seeing that and being like damn this whole high tech mountain city/house is soooo unassuming from the outside.

At the end of the dream I was climbing up a 90 degree orangey/tan rock wall alongside a few other people who were visiting / leaving the area and I was also carrying piles of clothes on hangers. (By the way certain POVs of this dream showed this mountain being dad’s house). I couldn’t pull myself up safely at the tippy top with my arms full of clothes on hangers so I asked someone to help pull me up my by shoulders. I was kinda scared bc It would’ve been a super far down fall but I also wasn’t that scared. I looked down and see everyone I had just visited waving— Trey and his throuple, Eric Rejman and others. At one point in the dream I was like “hmm that’s funny and weird that everyone hanging out in this mountain have all dated each other and now they’re dating other people.”

I woke up to use the bathroom and never did find my horse.

Honestly so shook by this dream still that I’m gonna text Trey and see if he’s feeling any cosmic connection this morning lol.

[cosmicsnowleopardcrusader]

I just woke up from a dream that my first floor apartment flooded then completely caved into the deep ocean. I literally had sharks and whales swimming in the floor. I was part of a large community with many floors / sections above me and it felt like a whole city was about to collapse. I found my apartment under water at first after coming back from a date (we saw a 3a movie??) the dude was a total dick and didn’t believe my apt had ocean water in it. I literally ran to tell my upstairs neighbors and the entire rest of the building community but no one believed me. There was a hugeeee fest happening outside with keynote speakers (it felt like the heads of kappa or Duchesne or Nebraska’s deans). The vibe was kinda evil, like the heads knew what was happening but were gonna act like everything was ok. I literally ran throughout the thousands of people seated at the fest screaming “THIS ENTIRE BUILDING IS GOING TO CRUMBLE INTO THE OCEAN, RUN! RUN! RUN! “ people were literally making fun of me. My voice eventually became mute and nothing could come out. I was so frustrated, I couldn’t believe it. At one point I climbed this huuuuuge mast with a bucket on it like on a pirate ship, it was soooo tall and I was sooo scared but I had to climb it to announce to the thousands of people what was happening. Nobody believed me, everyone just looked at me. I eventually started making a scene and kicking and bashing shit to the ground trying to scream audibly. Finally the whole first and second floor was sunk in the ocean and I had to keep finding higher ground. Right before that though, I returned back to my apartment to grab any belongings… for some reason I put on this black pleated maxi skirt, a Celtics jersey on my left leg as my high socks, different color sock on my right leg, a green top I think, and one of my favorite fear of god sweatshirts. Why did I look so cute tho lol. Before I left for the last time I realized I was waist deep in dark ocean water that was infinitely deep. I started to get scared and somehow swam out of it and got to the stairs. I called an uber to pick me up a the highest point of the hill in the town / campus / ancient mall (that was sit a top a hill on the ocean). I felt totally ridiculous, then I woke up.

[cosmicsnowleopardcrusader]

Trying to piece this together and had to write this out. I remember this couple being in the dream, it was Paul Rudd and Kim (Eric and I met her at Columbus park). They were a young couple in their 20s probably the first scene, then I realized they were super in love, but also drugged out or something? And then I see Paul Rudd and her again but it’s a completely different scene, movie setting/environment. They’re different ages now but same souls. I remember feeling / seeing them again a third time and it was yet again another completely different scenario but still the same couple together ! None of this dream was linear, and I pieced everything together at the end. This couple was the most passionate, life-living and life-giving couple I had ever felt, and their story was UNBELIEVABLY beautiful. Life was complete from the way I was seeing it for them. Everything was perfect at all times for them.

[cosmicsnowleopardcrusader]

It was a magic and scary house. I just woke up from a dragon chasing me and I had to climb the highest spiral stair towers to get away from it. For some reason I wanted to climb up to feel safe. I Had to keep climbing up and down and I knew in the house anything could happen, things could appear. It was just like Harry Potter. Animals could come out of nowhere. I had to sleep on the bench outside in the yard the night before bc I couldn’t find my room I was so lost and so scared and I couldn’t fall asleep. Turns out in this universe the day time and nighttime just swap and change like the snap of a finger, no sun rises, no sunsets. I was shocked by this. All the sudden I wasn’t scared in the daylight. And I was stressed that I didn’t get sleep and I was going to be tired and nonfunctional. Before the sun popped out I was watching the holiday events and rides happening outside the castle on every floor, this castle was like a huge community city. I remember feeling horrible for the workers dressed in Santa clothes bc I thought “wait these rides/attractions never close ….”. But I wasn’t as scared being outside the house bc there were people outside seeming normal. Or just not trying to hurt me. When the “morning came” I went back into the house to find my room and find everyone else I knew. Jack and Jordan were there, some of my cousins, old sorority sisters, my moms old friends, actors from shows I’m watching were all staying there. My step sister Tylyn. I was so shocked by the no sunrise thing that I kept telling everyone and they’re like oh yeah you didn’t know that???

There was a hugeeeee scary doberman hunting dog I saw at one point that scared me in the living room but nothing happened.

I was trying to orgasm so badly, I kept trying to go under the covers and release but distractions kept happening.

[cosmicsnowleopardcrusader]

A tiny snippet of my dream last night:

Mom was sleeping in a room downstairs at dad’s. I remember thinking…. Since mom seemed to have passed out down here, I should sleep down here to keep her company. I remember feeling “I’m gonna be super scared in the dark down here, but i would rather be scared and keep her company than not keep her company and sleep upstairs.

Just remembered another snippet:

It felt like old times at dad’s house because lisa and Tylyn were there and lisa was in her peachiest/best mood. A mood I haven’t seen from her in years. For some reason there was a dead horse that had been rotting in a blanket in the spot where the main level bathroom was. I couldn’t believe how big he was and how dead and gross he was and how he was in the house and I had just found him??? I knew it was too gross and heavy for me to lift / take outside myself so I told dad and lisa about it. They both quickly came to help me, Lisa and dad helped take care of biz which I remember felt sooooo nice for once, I had forgotten how helpful lisa was. After that whole scene. I had a flash back of me wearing the dead horse’s overalls, and I was soooo grossed out and mortified in the dream that I would put on something so horrid on my body. But at the time I was wearing it I must’ve had had no idea??

There was also a black car running around dad’s yard and I wanted to catch her so bad bc I’ve been wanting to find a black cat in the “wild”. Another type of animal / cat existing around dad’s property was a tall cat with long legs (it was literally like that yoga pose when I put my hands and feet on the ground standing up lol).

[cosmicsnowleopardcrusader]

I saw little Madeline sleeping cozy in bed on the ground, I was probably 5 or 6. I was walking thru the dream with another being… don’t know who. Before we walked past my younger self, I turned around and wanted to ask her something so I said “hey what’s your name??” In the cutest little girl voice I said with closed eyes but smiling, “I’m Mad-lin clauff!” The diction in my voice emphasized ‘Madeline’ instead of ‘Clauff’ like how I say my name now. I sounded so confident, so sure about it, so happy to be little cozy me. Right before I asked the question, I was so curious what younger me was gonna do or say bc I didn’t know if she was real or at least alive in that moment in time/ space and could respond. She / I really seemed so happy and precious. I was so real and alive, I was so consciously enamored and in awe that I was staring right in the face of my younger self 😳.

The other being and I kept walking thru the dreamscape and eventually walked past little Madeline laying there again (it’s like we had walked a full 360 circle thru the hallways) and I smiled at myself again, trying to really take in the moment, looking at this version of myself ..such an out of body experience. This is now my second vivid dream seeing Madeline avatars from outside my own body. And being so obsessed and awe struck by my human meat suit costume. After going to the wig shop (in real life with Nina and Kristen), and seeing manican heads lining the walls, floor to ceiling, I can’t not look at my body as this wildly doll-like, external, replaceable avatar . It’s hard to explain, it’s an out of body experience, basically remote viewing my body without my soul (except not in this little Madeline dream, just the first out of body dream).

There was another out of body moment before I woke up. My consciousness was trying to wake up but I couldn’t find my body lolol. It felt like I was playing a video game and had to zoom out on a map lol. I finally found it roaming some stairways and hallways and all the sudden I was awake in my bed lol….

[cosmicsnowleopardcrusader]

There was a hugeeee deeep dark pool / body of water built into concrete. It was basically black. There was a ladder going down into it, I went down it until the water covered my whole body, I was so scared of whatever was down there, but I consciously wanted to face my fear of dark deep water for at least 3 seconds. Then I hopped back out. As that dream scene was floating away, I saw what was actually down there from a higher perspective… it was rows and rows of scary war planes and war equipment sitting on the oceanic floor. It was sooo eerie and it basically spooked me more lol

[cosmicsnowleopardcrusader]

8/8/2024 (888) lionsgate portal dream

Before I forget, I need to log this bc it has important information. I landed in the MKE airport, we were taxiing across this gorgeous land that seemed like western Nebraska or golden CO. When we got to the gate I had to pee (and I needed to release this horny pent up feeling baaaadly.) I first run into Giannis, he was sooooo tall and large. The bathroom was tiny with 2 stalls and jenkie doors, I had to release this orgasm in me or else I wasn’t gonna be ok. I touched myself and within 5 seconds my body was attempting to release an orgasm but instead it was an explosion of stuck pain and no pleasure at all. Just like in real life (but in real life I can’t get as far as releasing otherwise it would be excruciatingly painful from the depths of my beingness.

I go back up the stairs to get back on the plane and give my ticket to the guy. He’s acting like he won’t let me back on the plane but I showed him my hand written note on the ticket proving I had a pass of some sort to be able to leave the plane and come back whenever I wanted. As he was showing his manager, I turned around to face the incredible view out the window of the city. All the sudden I see this huge red brick building explode and crumble to the ground 6 buildings away. I see the buildings next to it start to crumble down with it, slowly, violently, I felt horror, like I was about to face a painful horror-filled death. I remember thinking I was glad I wasn’t on that runway but wasn’t sure if higher ground or lower ground or inside or outside was better in our situation. Everyone’s running for their life, fire safe doors are closing, people are getting trapped, I saw one guy run into the airport chapel and I thought “lol like that’s gonna save him”. In the chaos I found shaq’s phone and try and call his son. Then I wake up!

This is the second dream with explosions in two nights. My painful orgasms are 100% tied to this. Also, more from Google:

[cosmicsnowleopardcrusader]

There were sooo many peoole at dads, hanging out in the front yard (south) and in our front foyer (at the base of our staircase). Lisa was cooking dinner and setting the table in the front foyer (as if the kitchen was there). Everyone from bunny, rich, Nicole, Jarrett, Natalie to Meesh, steve clauff, mom, Jack. Dial people. At one point we were all waking up and I was still in bed, which must’ve been in dad’s brown room bc at one point Jarrett was knocking on the window next to my head wanting me to come outside. Then all the sudden we were planning beach activities out by the barn and i was choosing between my tan heeled combat boots or my water shoes. As I was packing I told someone “I didn’t even repack from Costa Rica, I have like no TShirts”. On the walk down to the barn / beach, uncle Steve and I were walking together and he told us that dad was actually gay his whole life lol. And I rewound to see all the signs (perfect dresser etc). I remember literally processing that in the dream and not being upset but being like whoa how did we miss that?!!! But when I woke up I’m like wtf hahahaha

[cosmicsnowleopardcrusader]

I just woke up from an end of a dream where I was helping save the world (or the closest situation at hand). Mike Bolling had 5 big laminated maps he had to fling to me from 10 yards away on a river, I was in a huge round tub of water (hot tub?) and as Mike threw them, I caught them all, but they had life to them and could move around (reminded me of the golden snitch) and I had to hold onto them for dear life, they were floating above my head and I was dangling 10 feet in the air above the hot tub place trying to hold on for dear life. It was a chaotic moment… like so much was happening just now. Omg grandma was there and I had to go wake her up from the dinner table to bring her along with us… I think Jack Alex Emily and David were around too?? It felt like we were in this fantasy environment at the base of several volcanic mountains with water rushing down into several rivers and pools (like shoots and ladders).

Earlier in the (same?) dream… I was trying to warn the whole extended family on both sides about what’s happening in the world… I was running down this loooong steeeeep mountain that felt like hill to the playground dads house and by the time I was at the base, the grass/ground started distorting, folding in all around me and swallowed me up like quick sand. Family was at the top of the mountain and the base of the mountain it felt like

[cosmicsnowleopardcrusader]

June 29, 2024

I felt soooo angry and soooo mad in my dream once again. In every little scene and setting, I felt so held back, like nobody would let me do anything I wanted to do. It’s like all the times I’ve been told no or I haven’t been able to take the lead on something IRL, that happened in my dream with that person.

At one point we were playing in the yard at my old house in Huntington park. My real next door neighbors from that time period were there (the Longs). I remember at one point screaming I was sooooo angry and frustrated and I was embarrassed that my neighbors had to see me acting like this… like I was already frustrated enough at the situation at hand (nobody listening to me) but now I’m like welp here we go again, yet another person seeing how angry and emotional I am. Jack had to take me inside to get me to cool down.

At one point I was with meg (or mom) on a trip and there were fancy parties going on, dinners planned, and I wasn’t allowed to do anything because I was so upset, so frustrated at the world and apparently a liability to be around. I remember in the dream thinking, this reminds me of when I couldn’t travel for BR bc I wasn’t vaccinated. IRL that’s truly one the most devastated feelings I’ve ever had in my life. It was so beyond brutal to not be able to go to the NYC office and travel to photoshoots (I couldn’t even step inside Bulls arena for our polo G shoot bc I wasn’t vaccinated). I was heartbroken for a long time, the entire rest of my time at BR. It’s the same heartbreak as when our CFO called me off the record after going to a dinner in 2021 with my team that I hadn’t seen in a year saying “you put everyone in danger by showing up”.

This anger and frustration from my dream reminds me of the same anger and frustration I experienced/expressed often in college after a long day of drinking and I felt totally left out of my friend group because (insert made up reason here lol). I remember one night I got so angry I ran away from my friends house during a party and slept under a tree at some abandoned house and hoped someone would chase after me.

Omg I just remembered hugging uncle Steve and dad in my dream at one point. When I first saw him so vividly in front of me standing next to dad, I felt “omg thank god, thank god, thank god Steve is here. Some familiarity and safety in my dream. It was pure heart wrenching sadness, i let out a powerful endless energetic stream of sorrow that I’ve never expressed in this 3D life before, as I was hugging steve, I was thinking “omg where is this all coming from? And “I hope now people realize the magnitude of what’s been going on inside me” like “wow this release is so powerful that I hope it shows people why I’ve been so angry” it was relieving, I finally felt safe and heard in my dream.

I also remember seeing Trish with mom, Trish was pregnant looking (she was basically bulemic at the end of her life in the hospital)

[cosmicsnowleopardcrusader]

Right before I woke up I was really upset and behind on my packing bc I had sooooo much to pack still and clean out my room but I was the last person there and everyone had already flown out to their respective new places. Leaire was there - she was waiting for me and then I said to go without me. I had my suitcase packed, but then realized I totally forgot to clean out my entire room… with all the clothes still in the closet. Al the drawers and bookshelves were still full. But bc of the time crunch to make it to the airport, I had to be wise and pick n choose the last remaining items from my life that I want to bring with me in the next chapter. It did feel like we were at dad’s house. There was water between dad’s house and the barn, but the house felt like a bigger community space, and all the people from my life were there— sorority sisters, BR people, high school friends.

I vividly remember handpicking the clothes I wanted to keep bc I had soooo many and I was bummed they all couldn’t come with me. After realizing that tho, I kinda surrendered and was more focused on just getting to my next destination and GTFO. I had the same recurring thing happen where I’m upset, frustrated, feeling behind, and feeling a need to sexually release before I could focus on what was happening. The last few dreams I’ve been packing, feeling horny and a need to release before I do literally anything else, then me actually releasing and feeling good, then me going back to packing. It’s all a very weird conjoined (conjeeled*?) feeling that’s been occurring- the same exact order of events in my dreams. And I wake up right before I head to the airport.

I remember at one point looking at the barn and realizing nobody cleaned that out, I kinda felt / saw dad and thought oh he’s still at home to clean the rest of this out? I also remember thinking back to my freshman dorm move-out whilst IN the dream (so I had real earth flashbacks whilst in my symbolic dream) and the pressure/fear/disorganization/rushing/trauma felt the same….

It’s always that same terrible feeling of moving slow, I remember I couldn’t even walk that fast and then was frustrating. Time keeps passing and the pressure grows and I’m still in the room with my stuff everywhere. I was afraid I would get charged for so much stuff being left behind.

On a brighter note, the sentiment among all the people from my life seems happier towards me, accepting, more friendly and normal, like we were real friends. They don’t seem standoffish, judgy, mean and cold they used to feel in old dreams. People were genuinely happy to see me and to miss me.

There were a whole bunch of old photos with me Jack and dad and I had the chance to save them and bring them with me but I was getting overwhelmed by keeping too many that I just gave up and then became sad and frustrated over that. I was so sad looking thru those photos in the dream. At one point one, me Jack dad had fallen off the photo individually and I had to take a blank photo and put / rearrange the cut outs of me Jack and dad in the photo together like they fit before.

The universe is moving me quick….but it’s still wild all the recurring symbolism and exact order or events in my dream.

Oh Ps at one point I was on the water between barn and house and a huge giant wave /ripple thing came thru.

PSS- I remember at one point seeing this beautiful luscious garden of carrots. Carrots were growing all over the ground and hanging from all over the trees. Perfect looking mini orange carrots!!!

PSSS- I remember when everyone was leaving, some kappas and DGs got in Alex Hindman’s car and I waved bc everyone was just happy and had moved on and he waved back… it was super meta to have seen him again and to still be married to that woman I didn’t think would last lol. It was all good vibes honestly.

[cosmicsnowleopardcrusader]

It’s been about 2 months since my sacral chakra has felt blocked and painful (can’t orgasm) and last night I finally, directly asked my body, “girl what’s goin on down/inside there? What do I need to look at to heal? What information is missing that I need to understand in order to heal?” I’m trying to ask my body directly what’s going on because I really believe that aspect of me will tell me in mysterious ways. What I’m seeking is seeking me type situation.

Cut to the dream!

Im pregnant, about to have a baby and im so excited (but also confused how it happened so fast in the dream). Mom is with me the entire dream. I have the baby and the first night shes sleeping with me on my chest. It was the most precious amazing feeling I’ve ever felt, this baby was mine, she came from my soul lineage. I remember feeling how special it was to have her skin sleeping against mine.

But all the sudden, she was kinda slipping away from my body and the next morning she wasn’t alive anymore, and she looked like Angelica’s doll from rugrats… tiny/skinny/mummified practically. Honestly this dream sounds horrifying. I was soooo upset and sad. Mom helped me thru it, nothing really happened after that.

Last night I did 60 min of breathing life force energy in and out thru my primordial sacral entrance (i felt so horny and wanted to climax so bad, and almost kinda did but it felt minuscule). I kept going and pushing the boundary of my pleasure bc I wanted to research / understand what’s going on and where the pleasure stops and the pain starts. After I was able to climax somewhat, my body didn’t feel excruciating pain like before, so I felt positive about it, like some healing amends have been made this far. But now this morning, in tandem with that dream, my sacral chakra feels backed up, hard, dysfunctional. I’m pretty constipated this morning. So my body is def still working thru some things (love you girl take your time!!)

Conclusions:

It makes me feel like my body still needs to process my 2018 chapter of abortion, copper wire birth control that fell out, horrible lemon size clotting for 2 months, weight gain and depression. I really don’t think I’ve processed all of that….

I feel happy knowing moms around for all of this, I know she’s helping me and watching over the souls of my past and future babies 🤍. Side note- at the pool last night I mentioned I can’t wait to have kids and Barco was like shocked ! But yes it’s true!!!

[cosmicsnowleopardcrusader]

I saw a furry brown skinned male feline lyran (same color as my new brown eye shadow ‘fawn’ from glossier) and he had huge blue/grey eyes and hair dreads exactly like lil durk - that matched his furry skin color. He was so vivid. His energy felt so kind and caring and careful.

I also remember being on a tram that turned into a magical bus - then a pod of 1– that I was flying so vividly- there wasn’t really anything to hang on to, I was basically close to falling out the whole time it felt. In my current earth life, Ive been on a mission to lucid dream more and more— and to consciously catch myself mid-dream so I could see things from a new perspective. I DID THAT WHILE I WAS FLYING!!!!! I was like whoa I’m back in the dream flying and I’m aware of it happening. So We were trying to escape. I was with dad Jack and someone else at dads we had a team of AI or dark programmed people who claimed to be watching us- the soldiers included guys my age plus older guards. I was soooo horrified and scared in the dream… like pure terror. I was afraid to die.. just the pain, not the death itself. I wanted it to be over with.

At one point I was standing where dad’s old playground was and a massive rectangle piece of what HAD to be tenants of a space station blown to bits (and what felt like the size of 2 cruise lines wide / long) that was about to be slammed down onto the ground (not sure by what— I feel like it was just humans and crazy ancient giant war planes in the sky so I can’t tell where the evil source was. I saw the giant cement like war scrap coming down to be slammed (slow motion like a video game) and knew it was gonna miss me but when it slammed down I saw hundreds of thousands of people get smushed. Some even just injured and not killed- which scared me even more in the dream. I knew once I died, it wouldn’t even hurt and I would flow right I to another life or place. I knew I was in a dream in that way. I just wanted to die so much so the horror would be over, but I kept escaping and surviving. Looking back, if this was a movie, there’s no way I would’ve survived. Time after time the evil kept coming in the dream and I was terrified. Until all the sudden, everything seemed to be over, and the military guys were just actors trying to book flights home lol.

At one point I remember dad and Jack still alive, it was suuuuuper rainy and slippery at one point and I was scared dad was gonna slip and fall.

And at the end I had found a new love who seemed so familiar that our hearts telepathically knew we were destined to be together and we didn’t have to say any words. Im sad to wake up from that part of the dream bc it felt as real as the terror.

At some point the experiment during the battle was over and I survived through attacks and I was vibing with one of the men who was hired to be there— a soldier of sorts— it’s almost like they were actors… and the war scene was over— anyway I fell in love with him at first sight, we had a kiss toward the end and after the kiss I overheard him tell his other female teammate “I’m goin to Omaha” which meant he was booking a one way flight to stay with me and start a new life— bc I had felt that connection with him and I felt safe. And I felt like he was real now and not the soldier from earlier lol. I remember the female soldier he told kinda rolled her eyes and laughed like “really soldier” but it felt perfect and I felt sooooo connected with him even when we weren’t in the same room.

In the end of the dream, once I figured out I’m still alive and not meant to die in that game, I went thru my things in my room I was staying in, only took a couple things, I remember thinning- “oh where I’m going I don’t even need any of that”

Why am I always packing / heading back to Omaha at the end of every dream?!

The man reminded me of Mikey Purlingy— my cubs bleacher buddy I meant last summer lol

[cosmicsnowleopardcrusader]

I woke up with this song in my head- “I got that feeling, I wanna know where you are, I wanna know where you aaaaaareeee 🎶🎶

I was trying to take a video of dad’s barn with the most apocalyptic crazy energy storm tornadoing above it— it looked like a giant ultra sound in the sky. Then it looked gray with zillions of purple energy shockwaves thru out, creating a force of power I’ve never seen before from the barn to the heavens, I’ve never felt or seen an energy field like that. never in earrrh, never in movies. It reminded me of wizard of oz with the tornado. It was more powerful than any bomb or rocket launch. It’s like space and time had warped and dad’s barn was the source of all universal power, sucking and grounding it down to the planet. All of us were posted up for hiding at dads — or seemed like thousands of people. Dad’s house was normal on the outside but as big as 5 city blocks in the inside.There was a steep 7 ish story giant wall made of sand that people were trying to climb. I made it 75% of the way and then didn’t know how to get down, panicked I was about to die, then slid down by staying close to the wall. I remember Nina and girls from my retreat going to play outside and take photos but we all had to emergency run inside bc it was time… the dinosaurs were coming to kill us all. At one point I remember hearing this fight was between America, someone evil, and … the South Americans ? And this time the evil party was actually pulling back bc of our treaty and collab with South America. I had so much fear, I had so much terror. It felt as though I was reliving a horrifying past life but this time we were being saved. This time the evil wasn’t gonna come kill us slowly. It’s so interesting bc in the beginning of the dream, I DID live thru the terrorizing horror of T. rex and other monsters coming to find us in the house and eat us to death. There was a group sitting in the dining room… 2 men on the couch, on a bunch of phones and laptops, it seemed like the HQ of the official doomsday hideout we were all at. Nina was there. I remember being sketch of the men trying to solve the problems. Before we knew the evil was backing off and the scary dinos weren’t gonna attack us, I remember us trying to hide in closets, behind kitchen island, in cupboards. But there were sooo many of us that it would never work and the t rex would smell and see us all instantly. I remember everyone looking soooo scared. I remember trying to lock the laundry room screen door but there was a unique lock with a code and I accidentally reset it and needed lisa to help with the code bc it technically hadn’t been changed in years. We didn’t lock it tho cuz dinosaurs don’t care about that. How was this gonna end? Why was everyone at dad’s? What was happening to the barn?

[cosmicsnowleopardcrusader]

Part of a dream—

I wake up at moms downtown apartment. But my room was my old bathroom, jacks room was my old room. The clock said 420a and the tv was blasting… Jack was watching a 4a European soccer game. I kinda yelled at him to turn the game off or on mute… then proceeded to turn the game off and we both went back to bed lol.

I woke up a second time in the early morning, this time to pee, but the bathroom seemed like I had to travel to a different dimension for it. I felt like I was in a sports arena bathroom.

I remember vividly seeing a Himalayan cat on the AT&T roof, staring at me… which makes me feel protected bc all I do IRL is stare at that roof and at the sky above it. At one point I also saw 2 dogs that looks like Jake from Adventure time lol. Long spaghetti legs with bean shaped bodies.

[cosmicsnowleopardcrusader]

1.10.24 dream

Jake strasser, Charlie w, Carsen, married couples in their 40s.

At one point lisa took Jack and I on a dingy ride through dark murky waters that were dads 40 acres. Lisa zoomed us toward the lake at high speed and when we got to the edge, it was just a gaping hole with wood pattern build layering, as if there were secret passage chambers underneath the lake. We went thru a tunnel to see what was down there and lisa had it hooked up— she had a nice fireplace along other dark dusty rooms. I remember feeling, I don’t trust when she’s gonna stop with all this. While on the dingy on the water, the sky looked insaaaaaaane. “Eyes everywhere” I said! There were HUGE bright yellow eyes in navy blue watercolor cloudy sky. The the clouds were soooo big and powerful. The eyes were huge, kinda in an owl face formation… almost like there were giant beings watching us. Among the big eyes were millions of small eyes in eye formation.

I ended up in Montreal, Canada. We were in Vegas or something before that. I remember packing up my bag before I woke up (I’m always doing that before I wake up). At one point I was bunking with Jenna in this vacation house (there were a flow of different people in my life staying / going every week). I remember thinking I was so tired and didn’t wanna get up early and be active with Jenna.

At one point Daphne and I hooked up.