cosmiikx

[cosmiikx]

had a dream abt someone in my dr that im not friends w but i feel really bad for (hes a lil genocidal but i can empathize with why) and it made me even MORE sad for him like shiiit. when you put it like that 💔

[cosmiikx]

im finally falling for the waiting room propaganda and for once i will be rawdogging it. wherever i end up is wherever i end up ☠️

[cosmiikx]

had a dream kind of abt my dr but not really where i asked my s/o out and they rejected me 🫩 they had a good reason but damn why put them there if i cant have em 💔

[cosmiikx]

my partners birthday was on the 6th and i sketched 2 things for them but procrastination got the best of me LOL so i never finished them but one of them was them w a big plushie of me and them n its adorable so look at it

the other one is slightly nsfw so i think i might be keeping it to myself

[cosmiikx]

wasnt gonna drink tonight but fuckkkk im missin venture like a mf

went to shift earlier and i felt so many more symptoms than i usually do i will be seeing them in the near future‼️

[cosmiikx]

THE REASON YOU KEEP 'WAKING UP HERE' — AND WHY THAT'S PART OF THE SHIFT

hi loves ♡ we're going to talk about the days where you wake up in your CR. the days you tried… and opened your eyes…and whispered “why am i still here?”

this post is about:

✧ the reason you keep ‘waking up here’ — and why that’s still part of the shift

because here’s the truth no one tells you: not shifting doesn’t mean nothing happened.

WHAT'S ACTUALLY HAPPENING WHEN YOU ‘WAKE UP HERE’

you think you failed. but what really happened? you entered the space between. you got close enough for your mind to panic. close enough for your senses to pull you back. close enough that your body lit up in defense — not because it’s wrong, but because it’s unfamiliar.

this isn’t a rejection. it’s a recalibration.

WHY IT DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE ‘NOT SHIFTING’

shifting is not a one-time door you either walk through or don’t. it’s not a yes/no binary. it’s a continuum. every time you set the intention, affirm, visualize, detach, or even desire, you are layering reality.

think of it like tuning an instrument. you might not play the song yet. but every adjustment gets you closer to harmony.

you’re not being punished. you’re being prepared.

THE SPACE BEFORE THE SHIFT IS SACRED

that half-sleep drowsy space? that disoriented, dreamy liminal space where everything feels both near and far? that’s not nothing. that’s the threshold. and most people turn around when they feel it — thinking they’ve failed. but really? you just haven’t settled into the shift yet.

and you will. you’re already learning how.

you didn’t fail. you’re not broken. you’re not being tested. you are becoming. and yes — that can look a lot like stillness. but underneath? the timeline is bending. the cells are listening. your reality is already rearranging to meet you.

you’re closer than you’ve ever been. don’t stop now.

[cosmiikx]

im kinda practicing tarot more than anything rn cuz despite the couple of decks i have i never learned 😭 but i asked if im shifting soon and it was a hard yes, asked if i was shifting to specifically my dr soon and it was a hard yes

unfortunately the app that i use to look up meanings gave me the tower when i did its 3 card pull for fun ☠️ idrk what to make of it cuz it also gave me 5 of wands reversed and the queen so maybe it doesnt mean the worst thing ever (im coping)

[cosmiikx]

so i (mentally) scripted a couple days ago that my s/o gets added to the overwatch cartoon a that exists in universe and i just woke up from a dream that was like a season 2 trailer for it that was basically all about them. im gonna be watching that cartoon more than the kids 😔

[cosmiikx]

i channeled my s/o abt it cuz why not and they proceeded to bully me (/j) im gonna have to fight them too

theres a ship w my s/o that i really like but i also really hate it cuz get away from them. theyre mine. you dont know what to do w allat but I DO!!!!

[cosmiikx]

theres a ship w my s/o that i really like but i also really hate it cuz get away from them. theyre mine. you dont know what to do w allat but I DO!!!!

[cosmiikx]

ive been seeing so much more of my s/o how am i supposed to focus like this

[cosmiikx]

oh my god i wasnt gonna make a post dedicated to race changing because i dont want to add to an already oversaturated conversation topic but you people are ANNNOYYYYINGGGGG.

every other fucking thing you people talk about is race changing. yet not a single one of you, especially white people, care this much about whats going on around you in this reality. yall care so so much about playing dress up, its half of what you talk about. idk who needs to hear this but its weird.

constantly rehashing this conversation, basically telling every single person of color who is uncomfortable by you and what you do that you dont care about them or their perspective. which makes your weak ass argument that you just "want to experience other things" even weaker.

you wanna experience what we go through? (i know the answer but lets pretend yall are being sincere lol) how about you talk to people. how about you read. how about you learn something. HERE. the same fucking place you feel the need to tell people theyre limited for thinking race changing is fucking weird. "shifttok misinformation" oh so being uncomfortable is misinformation! im sure the poc who feel that way feel super welcome in the community n like our opinions mean something! or,,,do yall not gaf if we do? cuz its sounding like the latter.

shiftblr likes to act like theyre above everything. a lot of yall have fetishizing and racism problems you need to address but you dont want to. you wanna go be korean in another reality and come back to this one, the one you consider your main reality and youre not permashifting from, and act like youre the same as korean people here. you wanna make your whole account look like youre not the race you are HERE and cosplay those people HERE. yall wanna act like race changing within this reality and shifting to be another race are completely different and they arent. and i hope you feel weird for it cuz you should. not even talking about the over and misuse of aave in this community while simultaneously spitting on black people.

yall would so genuinely rather script insensitive shit instead of just. doing literally anything else. every "what if" scenario yall bring up can easily be fixed by yall saying no one cares but no, you dont, why? cuz cosplaying means a whole lot more to you lol. you guys know that no continent is 100% homogeneous right? black white and every other race exist EVERYWHERE. and its weird to me that you wanna shift to an homogenous state where your race doesnt exist but surely youre not ready for that convo if you cant even handle people disagreeing with you on this one.

and no, no ones limited for thinking its fucking weird. i think you can do whatever the fuck you want, i cant stop you n no one else can either. i can, however, look at you sideways. and i will! yall the same people being like "ew murder dr" "ew scientology dr" and then tell people they cant not like race changing. when the same stupid arguments could be applied to these other things too lol. are we limited for that or????? is it just the stuff you wanna do that you gaf abt defending? right,,,right,,,,

idc if this makes people mad. maybe instead of begging other people to validate you doing weird shit in your dr that you havent even shifted to, you should shut up and keep it to yourself.

every tumblr community (honestly any community anywhere) seems to have a racism problem they dont wanna address and want poc to just put up with, great to know.

and remember, if it doesnt apply to you you dont need to make it about you 🙏 i block very liberally. im not making another post abt this i just really needed to get it off my chest cuz damn do yall not care about other people ☠️ "i wanna be xyz race in another reality and youre limited if you dont support me >:(" maaaannn shut the fuck up. shift to a reality where youre not insufferable.

tl;dr race changing is entirely unnecessary so dont be shocked people dont like it LMFAO and stop talking about it every 3 to 5 business hours your breath stinks. n if youre gonna come defend yourself just know i may or may not respond but 110% you will end up blocked regardless 🙂‍↕️

[cosmiikx]

i just realized my s/o is a leo why do i insist on doing this to myself

[cosmiikx]

real life footage of what happens to me when i get high, put on my dr playlist and get on overwatch

[cosmiikx]

just woke up from a dream abt my dr self ive never felt so disoriented holy shit

[cosmiikx]

i know angel numbers only really have the meaning you give them but its lowkey hard not to notice 222 popping up every time i do ANYTHING. boot up tiktok and its 222 every other video. so now its self reflection time to see what my higher self is tryna say 😔👊

[cosmiikx]

getting back into shifting has so genuinely done irreparable things to my ego. wdym im real life considering recording a thirst trap. thats dr me behavior LEAVE IT ALONE