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I’m thinking about Out again… also dttm

Specifically how Aurora felt.

Yes she’s changed some over the many many many years, parts and as a person. But she was still herself. She still loved Nastya.

And then Nastya decided the ship of thesius is in fact not the same ship that left port all those years ago.

But Aurora is there. Trying to scream to yell as her lover leaves with the last peice of her original hull.

“It’s still me I’m still here. I’m still me”

And then shes alone. Not fully… the rest of the living things on this ship are here still, moving and being and taking up space. They sometimes call on her and she helps.

But she feels so very alone. Her heart is broken. It left out the airlock…

She eventually feels better, the crew, her crew, helping with that.

And then eventually at the end of their time. They too one by one, leave… and don’t return. And again she’s left. So very and utterly. Alone

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I wanna talk about this behind the scene picture from Era III because I love it so damn much.

It's so overly mundane for Ghost's stage presence, it's lovely. We get a great look at Terzo's under dress and I love seing the length difference in the Ghouls' jackets. You can see a pair of shoe covers just chilling on the floor next to the rack on the left. Pebble's drumsticks just chilling on the floor or half out of his bag. The bags, clothes and caps kinda just thrown everywhere. It reminds me of when I used to do theater, it's so simple for such a big show and I LOVE IT.

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Ghouls getting sick for the first time topside are always the most dramatic. coughing? Yeh you’re going to die. Sore throat? You are going to be in endless horrific pain forever.

The older ghouls and siblings try to convince new summons that they will be fine, but they aren’t having any of it.

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The stress and inevitable breakdown, dealing with being the perfect little princess, trying to do and match everything the older ghouls do because she thinks she has to.

Obviously that’s what makes a good ghoul… she doesn’t want to be sent back.

To her phantom is so much safer, he had a purpose. She was a byproduct, an extra, unintended.

Brain rotting over Aurora feeling like she was a mistake in every way, just extra.

So as a byproduct she forces herself to be perfect like all the time.

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Brain rotting over Aurora feeling like she was a mistake in every way, just extra.

So as a byproduct she forces herself to be perfect like all the time.

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Hi I’m Coterie

Pronouns are They/he/it

This is mostly thoughts and writing as I see fit, made it years ago for a random fic thing intended to write more and never did. May not put a bunch here but I am so very feral sometime so…

If you want thought on what I wring feel free to ask, again im so very normal.

Also be kind, I have severe dyslexia and dysgraphia that make word and shit so hard

Current brain rot:

The mechanisms (band)

Ghost (band specifically the ghouls)

Find us alive (scp podcast)

Wolf 359 (podcast)

Time:bombs (podcast)

Station Arcadia (podcast)

Minecraft (a splattering of mcyt and also just the general game)

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Wolf 359 post finally

Getting back to earth, and everyone, realizing that none of them really have anywhere to go.

Eiffel was in jail before mission, Lovelace is an alien clone, who is original was killed in action… technically Minkowski could return to her husband, but who knows at this point he may have moved on thinking his wife was dead.. Hera is an AI and a super computer. She is kind of stuck in her housing.

But Jacobi still had his apartment that he shared with Maxwell… she had projects in there and there probably was a unit that they could transfer Hera to there.

Hera would probably know enough between herself and Jacobi on how to transfer her to this housing just for the time being just until they find something better she doesn’t wanna be too far from her friends

And Eiffel goes with them following like a lost puppy. He doesn’t wanna leave her he has nowhere else to be.

Yeah he could go find his ex and his child but he is in no condition still even with that long, long journey he’s re-discovering himself he doesn’t want to go somewhere where he’s expected to perform in a certain manner quite yet.

Minkowski tries to go home first see her husband they break the story on what happened up there not all of it but the parts that evil NASA minimum… and she tries to rekindle. He’s gone for a while regardless. She keeps the people in charge from bothering her people.

Lovelace maybe follows back to Jacobi’s apartment at first and then quickly realizes she is not meant to settle down she has unfinished business. She needs to go the next kin of her crew. She needs to do anything she has to keep moving. She doesn’t know how to stop.

And honestly, neither does Jacobi.

After a few months Eiffel comes out of Maxwells old room, says good morning to Hera, and realizes Jacobi is gone. He doesn’t question it up, figuring his roommate is off at the store…. or I guess going on some short trip….ooor going on a longer trip I suppose. after a month he decides Jacobi is not coming back for a long while but rents due next week he knows that. He also knows that he doesn’t have any money still… Two days later there’s a letter in the mail

“Eiffel I’m sorry here is rent,” and Eiffel is confused, which admittedly is a fairly common feeling for him, but he doesn’t worry about rent. He doesn’t worry about a lot of things but he worries about everything. But somehow Jacobi has made sure he has enough to get by and to make sure that rent is paid usually with a little extra for a treat according to him…

And Eiffel is confused

A few weeks later, he sends out a call to Minkowski, Have you seen Jacobi have you heard from him? and then to Lovelace, Have you seen Jacobi? Have you heard from him? No one has heard from Jacobi… but it’s December who knows maybe he’ll be back by Christmas

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Almost Human

Gavin was what they called him, just Gavin. It wasn't a fancy acronym like other cool pop culture androids and AIs, but it's what they had decided to call him. Gavin was an experimental AI Android that some fancy-pants lab had developed, the scientists had called him Proto (short for prototype), but the crew stole him when they broke into the facility just over a year ago.

they brought him home and booted him up, and the one they called Michael named him Gavin. He was told their names too, the one in the suit was Geoff, the one in the Hawaiian shirt was Jack, the one with the colored hair was Jeremy, and the blond one was Ryan.

At first, they had him doing their chores- cooking, cleaning, garbage, laundry, ect.- but then he over herd Geoff complaining about his computer, Gavin just walked in and nudged the tattooed human out of the way, and fixed the computer in about 3 minutes. From that day forth the crew decided he was Their IT guy.

Gavin was content with this he realized, once he learned what content was. He also learned he was happy, he learned many human things. He knew that he never had any notion of “fun” or “feelings” back at the lab what felt like a lifetime ago now, once he realized he was acting more… human, his first thing was to figure out why, as it defied his logic to act like a human. They were so incredibly inefficient, but he came to find that that’s what made each of them unique.

He tried to keep the fact he was becoming so much more human from his boys As much as he could. That didn’t stop him from showing his new found interest and love of gold and shiny things. (his boys when they noticed gave him many gold things)

He’d tell them once he figured out what it meant for him, at least that’s the excuse he’d told himself for why he was keeping it a secret.

At the same time tho he was becoming a more central figure in the crew. Running tech and that included any of the necessary hacking and data retrieval necessary for heists, as well as being responsible for making sure coms were functional.

For the most part, he was able to do all of that while never leaving the penthouse, and even if the needed him closer they typically still had him a mile or 2 away from the heist.

The next heist coming up tho was different, they decided they wanted him onsite, he could run most of the quick searches he needed in his head, and he’d gotten pretty good at shooting thanks to Geoff and was discovered to be quite a natural with hand to hand and knife fighting by Ryan, So he had no excuse for not being able to be onsite.

The heist was to show a rival crew who owns the docks, and more specifically the warehouses at the docks. Gavin had had an eye on them for a while now, and Geoff decided that it was finally time to remind them who the top dogs were.

In theory, it’s a simple job, but that wouldn’t stop him from getting anxious about it.

He was pretty sure that he was so anxious that the crew could hear his cooling fans across the house, but no one mentioned it. He figured whatever happened this time, his humanistic side would come through and he'd have to tell his boys, but he ignored that nagging thought as much as he could.

He could do this. His boys would be right there with him, he should be excited not terrified! But he just couldn’t get it out of his head, what if someone died, what would happen if HE died??

In his anxious state, he decided that he should upload his consciousness on to a spare drive on his computer and set up so if he died he'd wake up here, also while he was at it he figured why not set up an automatic bi-daily backup.

So that's where he stood as he waited out the last few hours till it was time to head to the where house. Before they split up, leaving the penthouse they had one last briefing meeting. Jack and Jeremy were the main muscle, they were to act as henchman to the vagabond-Ryan- who was acting as Geoff's right hand. Gavin would stay near Geoff the whole time, and Michael was gonna blow up the rivals smuggling boat.  It was strange watching the cohesive family unit having to act like they weren't closer than workmates, but Gavin had heard countless times, it was best none knew of the relationship his boys had… one he admittedly yearned to join. They exchanged hugs and “see you later”s but not“goodbye”s as they walked to their vehicles. Gav was with Geoff, Jeremy and Jack with Ryan, and then Michael would be on a bike.

The drive to the docks was filled with fear and anxiety and he double and triple checked his info. Like always he knew one flaw could mean death for one of his boys. One shred of lost information or one thing lost in transmission could mean the end of his family. So he checked and checked again, he may be able to load back up on his computers at home but his boys were human, and humans couldn't do what AIs could here.

He set another upload of his brain when they got to the where house.

They waited, a half hour passed before the leaders of the other gang showed up.

Ryan walked out to meet them, mask on, Jeremy and Jack a few steps behind him on either side.

A few minutes of conversation before Ryan looked up to where Geoff sat in the on the loft, Gavin standing right behind him.

The other man, the rival leader looked pissed. He lifted his hand smiling at Geoff, that was all the warning Gav got before a bullet from a sniper came racing at Geoff.

Gavin dove in front of Geoff shielding the man with his body, and that's when he woke up, not remembering how he died but now inhabiting his computer.

He rushed to patch the coms pack together, how many minutes had passed? Were his boys ok? He cursed wishing he could throw the monitor across the room.

Then he heard it, the voices of his boys. There was gunfire but he could hear everyone's voices, even Ryan’s clear as day.

He responded, “You know, you don't have to yell, what good are these coms if you just yell.”

The anger he heard on their voices turned to joy as they found out he was alive. He too felt a sense of joy, but his boys had a job. He could tell them how he was alive when they got home.

He also decided he'd tell them his secret when they got here too.

He was Gavin Free; AI, Hacker, and almost human.